Sorta Super
by SplittingImage4
Summary: Mutant Maggie Addams had long since given up hope of being swept up by the X-Men or even the Avengers. Everything changes when she lands in some unexpected trouble, and her mundane life is suddenly left in the dust. Her path is paved with villains and heroes as she struggles to find her place in a world full of supers. (Set in MCU timeline, with plots from the comics woven in)
1. Before the X-Men (I)- Breakout

It wasn't my fault. It wasn't my fault. It wasn't.

I could run through that pathetic mantra over and over again until the words became meaningless, and I still wouldn't be pacified. Come to think of it, you only hear people say things like that when it _was_ their fault. Accidents are still the result of cause and effect, no matter the intention. Even if someone didn't _mean_ to knock over a vase when they tripped, it was still their _fault_ it was broken, right?

No, that couldn't be right. If there was justice, accidents would be just that. Accidents. No one should pay for a mistake beyond their control. Especially not me. Did I sound like a psychopath or what?

It wasn't my fault. I'd swear on it, if it came down to it.

I had to admit, I had every doubt the police officers in the front seat of the cruiser I'd been tossed in would believe that. I doubted any jury of normal people would believe it. The parents of those kids on their way to the hospital now wouldn't believe it. I wasn't sure I believed it.

Even so, there were some aspects to what had just happened that were inherently _not_ my fault. The rocks thrown from counter-protesters. The mud in my face. The police intervention. Rubber bullets. Fire, igniting the dry grass. The panic that shook the campus quad. Not my fault.

What _was_ my fault, and what got me carted away so fast I didn't even have time to cry out, was my reaction. The two kids thrown to the ground with the wind knocked out of them. The rock I deflected that cut a gash in the forehead of an onlooker. The looks of horror from those closest to me when they saw what I could do, what I instinctively _had_ to do, to protect myself.

The truth was, I'd always been shit at controlling my powers. Now, I was paying the price.

Ick. Powers. I hated that word. It's supposed to be used for someone _powerful_ , like one of the damn Avengers. Someone righteous, who saved the day on a consistent basis. Not for someone plain and regular like me who just happened to be unlucky enough to be born this way.

I don't know how long I sat with my dirty face smooshed up against the glass window before the police car turned off. We had arrived at the station. The "Downtown". The "Big House". The place where the tranquilized had hit my neck hurt. The cuffs on my tiny wrists were finally starting to itch. Yeah, they used actual cuffs on me. Not those plastic ties that you see in modern movies that make a hell of a lot more sense to place on criminals. Amateur move number one, because for all they knew I could've been the daughter of Magneto.

The second I was led into the station I was hit with a sensory overload.

" _…at Carroll Community College earlier this evening. Seven were injured. One in critical condition."_

It felt like more than just a coincidence that the news was blaring loudly over the din. It became the clearest sound in the room, every word like a slap in the face. I was sure that God or some higher being was purposefully adding fuel to my roaring flame of shame, and it took all the strength I could muster not to grumble out loud. My picture, taken from my Facebook profile picture (thanks, Zuckerberg), flashed on the screen among about ten other protesters. Feeling eyes on me from every corner as I was pushed through the lobby by two stereotypically burly male officers, I turned my stare to the floor in front of me.

My escorts pushed open a door to reveal a long white hall. I had never been arrested before, but I definitely never imagined the place looking so…sterile. The fluorescent lights against the pure walls made me feel seasick. Doors with tiny square windows lined the walls. When we reached the last one on the left, the larger of the two officers punched in a key code in the numbered lock and the door swung open. For a brief moment, I tried to remember what the code was, but immediately realized that it wouldn't be much help once I was _inside_ the tiny dungeon. With a light but gruff nudge, the other policeman guided me inside. He removed my restraints after giving me a look that plainly read, "Don't try anything funny." I rubbed my wrists in relief and examined the room while the two cops loomed in the doorway.

"Comfy?" The large one asked.

"I was expecting bars," I said. "Kind of impressive for a holding cell."

"Your parents have been notified. Someone will retrieve you for questioning."

"Questioning? Why? When? And do I get a lawyer or something?"

The officers ignored me as they turned their backs. Suddenly, the walkie-talkie on the smaller one's belt began to crackle and hiss until the words of a woman on the other end could be understood.

"This is Smith. We've apprehended the pyro and are bringing him in now. Status report on the girl?" The voice sounded unprofessionally excited.

Grunting, the officer unclipped his radio and held it up to his lips. "Settling her in now. I take it that means backup was successful."

Another moment went by before the voice returned.

"He is restrained and immobilized. Others from the protest still at large, but we're turning the hunt over to Sentinel Services. Over and out."

Huh. So some had escaped, after all. I had about a million questions, but just as the officers started to leave all I could blurt out was, "Don't I get a phone call?"

The two looked almost amused. One turned around and approached me like a triumphant cat would an already bleeding mouse. When he was within an inch of my face, I could smell onion and hot dog that the man had clearly attempted to mask with a weak mint. I'd logically had no reason to hate these officers before, but now the anger bubbling inside me felt well deserved.

"Who the hell would you call? Your mommy and daddy? They're not coming for you anytime soon, sweetheart. We just talked to them. They're scared of you. Everyone is. You're probably the most hated girl in Westminster right about now. Sure, you can get a free phone call. Just tell me who the hell you're gonna call," He whispered.

I said nothing at first, and looked down at the floor. Satisfied with himself, the officer turned his back on me and proceeded once more towards the exit.

"…Ghostbusters?

Suddenly, I was pushed up against the wall of my cell. The other officer came up and tried to pull his partner back, but his efforts were hardly noticed.

"What did you say, punk?"

"N-no one. I have no one to call."

I was immediately released. The attack hadn't been with his full force, but I was sure he was holding back with every inch of self-restraint he had. Just as I had been. He glared at me one last time, shaking off the hand his partner had placed on his shoulder.

"That's right. Fucking mutie scum."

"Leave her alone, Jeff, for Chrissakes she's a kid."

Before I could blink, they both were gone and the door shut tightly. I could still hear them as their voices faded down the hall.

"Got a kid who goes to CCC," Jeff was explaining to his partner. "She wasn't there, but by God I can't help thinking about what coulda happened."

"That's why these laws are in place, man. Just let justice do its thing."

Justice. The word seemed out of place in that context. Was it justice that my very existence was now illegal in the state of Maryland? I should have left this town in my dust the second I graduated, but I'd been lazy. That's a sin or something, I think. The light from the bright walls outside barely reached me through the tiny square window, and I was coiled in dimness. I felt my breathing get quicker and heavier, so I settled down on the hard bench in the corner of the room. My hands shook ferociously. Holding my breath, I reached one in front of me, palm outstretched. I closed my eyes. I felt a familiar flickering sensation, starting from the top of my skull and flowing through to my arm. As expected, a ripple of what looked like purple electricity wove in and out between my fingers. Slowly closing my hand, the energy solidified into a small translucent ball.

"I can control you after all, can't I," I murmured. "Just not when I need to the most, apparently." Not wanting a reminder of that day's events, I clenched my fists and shoved them deep into my sweatshirt pockets.

I fell in and out of consciousness for the next few hours. At one point I awoke in a haze to the sound of thumping and muffled yells from the cell to my left. I held myself perfectly still so I could hear, but after a sharp shout, everything fell silent. I suspected whoever it was had just been tased. Tears stinging my eyes, I tried to pretend it was all a dream and drifted back into some sort of sleep.

My rest didn't last very long. An hour later, the door screeched open, the hard light burning as it flooded the room. I opened my eyes wearily to behold a short man in suspenders standing in the doorway, hands on his hips. His look reminded me instantly of old detective movies. All that was missing was a cigar dangling from his mouth.

"Miss Addams? Come with me, please," He said huskily.

Slowly, I stood up and approached him. Before we left the room, he bestowed upon me a new set of cuffs, this time plastic and more like the kind I'd seen onscreen. We walked down the hall in silence, a firm hand pressed to my back for the duration of the trip. We stopped in front of an army green door, the only non-white door I had seen so far.

"The name's Detective Hamill. You're going to sit in there, not cause any trouble, and wait for me to return. You got that?" Hamill's voice was not aggressive. In fact, he sounded almost as tired as I felt. She nodded, and he opened the door.

There was already someone seated at the table placed in the center of the room. A man who must have been in his late twenties with golden hair, sporting a tight-lipped sneer as I was brought into the room. It didn't look right on his boyish face. He, too, was wearing hand-ties. His black rimmed glasses made him look like a collegiate jock, and I felt an unintended rush of mistrust. Hamill gestured to the open chair beside the man and I took it, begrudgingly.

"You've got those on too tight, detective," My fellow prisoner noted casually, pointing to my ties. He spoke in a British accent, which I hadn't been expecting. "Poor girl's going to lose circulation."

"Shut up," suggested Hamill. He turned to me. "They hurt?"

"No," I lied. I didn't want to give the presumptuous man the satisfaction of being right, nor did I want to seem weak.

"Good. Neither of you need use of your hands any time soon, anyway," Hamill said. "Sit back. I'll be in soon."

The detective slammed the door behind him after he left. The two detainees sat quietly for a bit. I stole a glance at the man, who was blowing air now and then between pursed lips to fill the silence. It was only then that I realized I recognized him.

"You were there, today? At the protest," I murmured. It was a dumb question-why else would we both be sitting there? I had a vivid memory of his simple picket sign, " _No Equality, No Peace._ " He didn't look at me, just kept staring straight ahead at the two-way mirror imbedded in the wall.

"I was," He said simply. "And so were you. You were marvelous. I've never seen a power quite like that."

I wasn't sure how to take the compliment, nor could I return it. I must've been incapacitated by the time he started using.

"What do you think they want us to talk about?" I asked, looking at the mirror. "They must've left us alone together for a reason."

"Oh, probably just hoping one of us will say something like, 'Those humans got what was coming to them!'. Y'know. Something conviction-worthy."

"There's the sound-byte," I rolled my eyes. Then, I paused, realizing what he had just said. "Wait, conviction? They can't seriously…it was an accident!" That was my story and I was sticking to it.

"So are most car crashes, but someone's always to blame. In this case, it's you, me, and the other mutes who couldn't keep it in. Seven hospitalized, was it?"

I huffed and began plucking absentmindedly at a bolt sticking out of the table.

"And all of them human to the core."

"Just our luck," He smirked.

"So, you're the pyro, yeah?" I asked quietly. "I heard them talking about you over the radio."

He looked almost offended as he let out an over-dramatic sigh.

"I'm not a pyro, Jesus. It's way more complicated than that. I'd show you, but these ties aren't just pretty bracelets. I got a nasty shock a few minutes before you came in when I tried to light up."

I looked down at the ties. They didn't seem all that high-tech, but word on the street was the government had been reserving some pretty nifty devices to keep mutants in check. Truth be told, I hadn't even thought to use my abilities. I genuinely did not want to land in more trouble than I was already in for.

The door creaked open again and Detective Hamill stooped in. He sat across from us, the chair screeching in an almost satisfying way as he scooted close to the table.

"I take it you two don't know each other after all," He growled. "Can I take it that also means you don't know the other mutants at that protest who got away?"

We looked at each other, then shook our heads. I wasn't lying, but I would've played innocent either way. I ain't no snitch, as someone in a cop movie said one time probably.

"Oh, so just because we're mutants, we all must know each other, is that it?" The prisoner joked. The comment was ignored.

"Pity," Hamill sighed, though I'm sure he didn't mean it. He looked like he wished he had some papers to rifle through, or a gun to twirl. "It really would've helped bring down the charges if you could help us find 'em."

Aha. That was why we were being questioned together. They wanted to gain as much information as they could without having to pry or bribe it from us. They were clearly wasting their time on two average-joes like me and this British guy. Although, maybe he wasn't average. I didn't know yet.

"So, we're being charged, then?" the non-pyro asked, his jaw tense. I hadn't even registered that part. "For what?"

"Destruction of property, disturbing the peace, and—oh, yeah, unlawful use of weapons," Hamill almost laughed.

"Our mutations are _not_ weapons," growled the man.

"Actually, under Maryland state law, they are. Believe me, I understand that you think you're above the law. It's not uncommon for a mutant rights protest gets out of hand like this."

Again, the door opened, and I almost jumped at the noise. Jeff, the aggressive cop stood in the doorway, plaintive.

"I think we'll do this one at a time, folks. Ladies first? Mr. Church, you'll return to your cell for the time being," Hamill gestured at his cop buddy, who began to close in. Church raised his bound hands in defeat and stood up.

"Call off your goon, I'll wait my turn," He moved to the door with an unnecessary shove from Jeff.

I was left alone with the detective. He looked like a lazy toad as he settled deeper into his seat, waiting for me to make a move so he could pounce. I knew better, somehow, than to not speak first. We sat in silence for a while, until he realized his power play was not going the way he wanted. Drumming his fingers on the metal table between us, he looked me up and down.

"You were a student at CCC, were you not?"

"Yup," I nodded in slow motion. "Graduated last year."

"But you hung around?" Hamill was trying to make it seem like I should be embarrassed by the fact.

"I got a job in the communications department."

"And the mutants who organized the protest. You really didn't know any of 'em?" He sounded like anything I said would be perceived as a lie.

"Not personally. It's a small campus, I've seen them around. There was a flyer in my office, I showed up in support, and when some idiots started throwing rocks, shit flew off the handle. It's as simple as that," I tried not to raise my voice but I couldn't suppress the feeling of fire rising up my throat. The organizers were a couple of sophomores, loud but otherwise harmless. I didn't even know what their powers were.

"There's nothing _simple_ about this," Hamill tensed up, sensing my irritation. "People were hurt. Innocent people."

"Yeah, I know. I didn't just paint these bruises on," I jabbed my finger at my black eye. "Oh, but when you say innocent you're only referring to the _normal_ people, right?"

He sighed shakily and leaned forward as though he hadn't quite finished sizing me up yet.

"Kid, you're not an affiliated mutant, nor are you a registered super. By law, you had no right to use your powers in public. You're lucky they're not sending you to the Negative Zone."

I remained silent. Hamill knew as well as I that I wasn't important enough for a prison like the Negative Zone. It was only recently that Reed Richards and Tony Stark publicly announced its creation, with the purpose of housing supers who refused to register. It put everyone with any sort of power on edge. Not that everyone with powers was a hero or a villain, of course.

"What's your deal, anyway?" He waved a lazy finger at my tied hands. "You got force fields or something?"

"Sort of. I can externally project and amplify my brain's electromagnetic field to produce solid energy forms," I said. I only knew all of that because when I was sixteen my parents forced me to see a specialist who "diagnosed" my case of mutant-itis. I was pleased that the scientific jargon left Hamill with a blank look of stupidity.

"So, force fields," He summarized.

"…Yeah." There was more to it, though. I could sense the buzzing of the weak waves being emitted from his own small mind. I could even feel the other cops in the building and the other prisoner, like static spots in my head. He didn't have to know that. I could tune them out easily enough.

"You know what happens now, punk?"

"It's Maggie, actually."

"You'll be picked up in the morning by Sentinel Services and taken to a detention center where you will await trial. With all the mutants in your situation, though, it could take years. You could help yourself right now by telling us about these other mutants. Names, relationships, favorite hangout spots, anything."

"I told you, I don't know anything about them," My hands balled into fists. He didn't like that one bit.

"Then I hope you enjoy your stay, Maggie," He said, standing up.

Back to the depressing limbo of my lonely cell. I was surprised when the mutation-inhibiting ties were taken off before letting me loose, but really there was no way to escape even with full use of my "force fields". They weren't exactly Thor's Hammer. There weren't even security cameras, as far as I could tell. Why waste the money for such a temporary prison? It was apparent that my captors knew an escape attempt would be futile for many reasons. Where would I go? Who would I go to? My own parents kicked me out the second I turned eighteen, paying for an apartment to appease their mutant-phobic guilt. The few friends I had didn't like me well enough to house a fugitive. The X-Men…well, I'd given up hope that I'd be scooped up by them a long time ago. Xavier's school simply didn't have the capacity for all the wayward mutant kids in the world.

More time passed in silence. I pressed my head against the cool wall, on the other side of which I knew resided my unwitting brother in crime. His inquisition was surely done by now, and we were both floating on the same slowly sinking boat.

Just when I was beginning to wonder if there was a way to speak to him, a drastic change in the wall's temperature sent me jumping back off my bed, startled. The once icy steel had turned burning hot in a matter of seconds. At first I thought it was just a torture feature set in place by the Westminster County Jail, but a small burning hole appeared where my forehead had just been. The oozing metal cooled and a blue eye appeared in the whole. In a moment, it was replaced with a mouth.

"Oi, get in closer so I don't have to shout," blondie called. I obeyed and put my ear closer to the hole. "Name's Jamie, by the way."

"Maggie," I said. "Hey."

"Hey. You ready to bust out, or what?"

" _What?"_

"I'd seriously consider the first option if I were you. These idiots have a shite security system, and, as I've already proven, the walls weren't built to hold me. I can get you out, if you promise to help me."

"That's…stupid! They'll just catch us again and we'll be in even more trouble," I whispered.

"We're in about as much trouble as we can get. They caught us off guard last time, but we have the upper hand. I've seen what you can do."

"Maybe you missed the part where I got tranquilized within the first five minutes of the riot."

"That was then. This is now."

What, honestly, did I have to lose? I didn't have to trust him to know we wanted the same thing.

"Alright. I'm in. If you get me killed I'll be really pissed, though," I snorted.

"Deal. Here's the plan. Step one, I'm coming in."

I instinctively stepped back just as the burning hole melted into a larger shape. It was eventually big enough for Jamie to begin to squeeze through, but it was a little tight so I had to pull on his arms to get him all the way in. We fell into a heap on my bed.

"Cheers," he said, straightening up. "It takes a lot of energy to heat up, so I have to do as little as I can at a time. That one wiped me out big time, so here's where you come in. If I make a little hole to the outside, can you use your force-thingy to widen the opening?"

"I dunno," I stood up next to him, examining the unscathed wall like it was an empty canvas. "I'm not really that good at using it to move other objects."

"Even if our livelihoods depend on it?"

I sighed.

"Worth a shot."

He gestured at me to stand back, which I didn't really appreciate. I watched as he held out his hands in front of him, which were quickly turning a glowing red along with the rest of his body. I could feel the heat emanating from him even from feet away. His shirt even began to singe. He sank an iron-hot fist onto the fresh bit of wall, and within moments the metal began to crease at his will. Soon, it broke, and the night air outside could be felt.

"Your turn," Jamie panted, returning to a normal color.

I took a breath and focused my energy at the little opening he'd just made. Flickering light filled the gap, but I couldn't solidify it. It kept going out like a flame.

"Shit," I said, starting to panic.

"Just breathe…and don't think about those voices coming down the hall."

I could hear them too. We didn't have long. With a jolt, I manifested enough of the waves to make a hard surface inside the hole. I pushed as hard as I could until the metal gave way and the hole expanded under the pressure.

"Excellent!" Jamie said excitedly, that's gonna have to be good enough. We've got company. Man, I've always wanted to say that line."

Without warning he shoved me at the hole where I fell through onto damp grass. I could hear my cell door opening on the other side and shouts fill the room. Jamie was right behind me.

"Now we run?" He suggested, pulling me to my feet. I looked back in time to see two guns pointed at us. I hadn't even heard the order to fire at will, but they weren't playing around. A bang sounded all too fast, and I swiped upwards, pushing Jamie behind me. A flash of purplish knocked the rubber bullet backwards.

"I have a better idea," I said. There was something I'd always wanted to try. Taking a deep breath, I expelled an orb that burst out from my cranium and surrounded the two of us in a perfect sphere.

"Nice," He noted. It was purely luck that a vast expanse of trees and darkness awaited us. We began to roll; the plinks of more bullets and the cry of alarms acting as fanfare for our great escape.

I imagined we looked miraculous, spinning out of control in a hamster-ball of energy, like the forest was a giant pinball machine. I wouldn't be able to hold it for long, but in that moment I was almighty. Uncanny, even. I felt like a kid again, dressed up in her cape and tights at playtime, shouting with glee as I wreaked havoc on the world around me. I didn't know what was to come, and I didn't care. For once in my life, I felt genuinely super.


	2. Before the X-Men (II)-Bonnie and Clyde

_One Month Post-Breakout_

I was always that kid who obsessively followed the rules. It was like I got high off of superiority; proudly shushing anyone who spoke while the teacher was talking and never once disobeying my parents. I had learned to keep my head low, and as a result, a goody-two-shoes behavior had followed.

So, needless to say, if my old self could see me casually robbing that convenience store, her jaw would've dropped to the floor.

It had been a month since the great escape, and we were impressively still at large. Because we'd broken out of a "secure facility", our names took top priority over those other power-pushing mutants from the protest. The first week on the lam, Jamie and I had been in a bar enjoying our first drink since the charade began when we heard our names.

 _"Again, that's Jamie Church, 29, and Magnolia Addams, 23. Do not approach these dangerous mutants. If seen, notify Sentinel Services at the following number immediately…."_

I had frozen stiff, but Jamie played cool, downing the rest of his scotch like a pro. The place was crowded and no one was paying attention to the TV, save for us two punks at the end of the bar.

"No way," He had muttered softly to me. "'Maggie' is short for 'Magnolia? Were your parents high?"

"Shut up," I suggested.

"No, I mean it's very pretty. It's practically a superhero name all by itself. Speaking of which, we'll be needing those."

"Don't you mean super _villain_ names?" I joked. "We're not exactly the most popular right now."

"I was thinking you could be 'Magenta' actually. Y'know, 'cause of your magenta colored force fields," Jamie seemed to think this was clever.

"They're purple."

"Are you colorblind?"

"Fine," I said coolly. "And you can be 'Temperature Man'."

"Lame," He scoffed. I held up my fruity little drink to his face and he smiled wryly. He cupped it, and quickly his hands turned a deep blue. Frost clouded up the bottom of the glass. I'd learned right away that heat was not his only talent, since he was always keen to show off.

Jamie's cockiness was annoying at times, but the decision to stay together after escaping had been our best option. He was…odd, but I didn't mind that. He'd do things like catch perfect snow-flakes in the palm of his hand and chuck them at me. I'd deflect them, but occasionally they'd splat against my warm cheek and I'd resent him. It was like he was simultaneously trying to train me and irk me at the same time. He had just started a position as assistant professor of film at McDaniel before our arrest, and I suspected he was cursing himself for not staying in Europe. Like me, he'd had nowhere to go. Every day we were free felt like a miracle.

We'd been able to hitchhike to the outskirts of the city after spending three cold nights in the woods. Neither of us had our phones, which was just as well because it would've been all too easy to track us. Ubering wasn't an option, nor was phoning a friend. Chance and vigilance brought us to that grimy store in a small suburb of Philadelphia.

"Catch," a voice came from the other side of the food rack. A pack of Doritos landed on my head. I stuffed it in the new backpack I'd snagged from Target a week earlier. We only ever had what we could keep on our backs.

"They didn't have any cool ranch?" I asked, sliding some more junk into my pack.

"Nah," Jamie said, coming around to my isle.

"Fuck Philly," I sighed, hazarding a glance at the register. The clerk was still sound asleep, but I wasn't sure how long we'd have until another customer walked in.

Jamie and I had worked out a pretty neat con, if I do say so myself. For stores with anti-theft devices by the doors, I had learned to short circuit them with a bit of unnoticed electro-magnetic activity. Not only that, but I found out I could actually _control_ the fields I felt around other people's brains to lull them into complacency (or, more accurately, sleep). I may have been the tool, but Jamie was the mastermind who suggested I could even do all that. He helped by frosting up security cameras.

"Maybe they'll have some at the Mutant Underground, yeah?" He teased. Yes, we hadn't just been wandering aimlessly. Jamie had a friend in the Philadelphia base, and that immediately became our end goal. We'd be safe there until we could figure out what to do with our uprooted lives. With the bounty on our heads and Sentinel agents at every corner, it had taken us an annoyingly long time to even make it close. "'Sides, I hear once you get into the city it's nice."

"Says the foreigner," I dismissed. "It's pretty gross, actually. Nothing as beautiful as I'd expect British cities to be."

"Wouldn't know, seeing as I'm Welsh."

"Are you really?"

It was amazing how much time you could spend with one person and still know so little about them. That was changing, but for the better or worse I hadn't quite decided.

"I've always wanted to see New York," Jamie continued. "But the Avengers would be on my ass in seconds."

"I wouldn't mind Captain America on my ass."

"You're disgusting," He snickered. "Got everything you need, Bonnie?"

"Ready when you are, Clyde."

* * *

 _One Month and Two Days Post-Breakout_

We were standing in front of a high, chain link fence surrounding what looked like, for all intents and purposes, an abandoned warehouse. It was about as middle-of-nowhere as you could get in a city; the only other buildings nearby were smoking factories and similarly unused commercial entities. A graveyard for the Mom and Pop manufacturing businesses of America. Still, this was it. This was where our hoping and running and minimal-showering had finally led us. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous to face phase two of my fugitivity.

Jamie did nothing to calm me. In fact, he bore a hardened frown as we approached the fence. The entire area seemed devoid of life.

"Something's wrong," he said. "The place ought to be protected. There should be guards out here. Someone to meet us, take us into the base."

"They didn't know we were coming," I offered. "Maybe they're just really well hidden. You sure this is the place?"

"Yeah." Jamie moved forward and took hold of the fence with both hands. His reddened hands soon matched the blazing hot metal until it withered and crumbled at his touch. He broke apart a large enough hole to slide through, the shards of metal clinging to his jacket. I followed him in. I half expected an alarm to go off, or people to jump out at us, but there was only silence.

"Can you feel anyone?" asked Jamie. I shut my eyes and tried to clear my thoughts. The only buzzing I could feel came from him. "Maybe underneath..?" He suggested, when he sensed I was coming up blank. I knelt down and place my palm against the dirt, feeling for any whirring brains that might be lurking below.

"Nothing," I said quietly. "When was the last time you made contact here?"

"I…I spoke to Chris two months ago. God, that seems like years… But he was here, I know he was," I could feel his panic rise in an instant, and before I could say anything, he took off towards the building. He was fast, but I was faster. I caught him just as he reached the door that had been padlocked shut.

"Wait! Don't be stupid, we don't know what we might find in there. If Sentinel Services got here-"

"Don't," Jamie spat. "Don't even think that."

I instinctively stepped back as Jamie melted through the door in a burning passion. His powers were always stronger when he was angry, but I'd never seen him in such a rage.

Inside was the overwhelming scent of death. The large room we entered had been made to feel as much like a home as it could, with couches, and cots, and even a few board games. It must have looked like a haven not too long ago. Now, it was all in shambles. The images of overturned furniture, broken glass from the windows glittering the floor, and the smell of rotting food filled my senses. Jamie and I were silent as we surveyed the chaos.

I peered into another room that resembled a makeshift control center, full of computers and old radio equipment. The screens had all been smashed. I looked to the wall and felt my heart skip a beat. There, splattered as though decoration for a haunted house, was an enormous bloodstain, contrasting violently with the white paint.

"Jamie," I said softly, but he was already at my side. He reached out to touch the blood that must have dried ages ago, then collapsed on the floor. He was heaving, trying not to lose control, but the rubber floor mat underneath his hands was beginning to turn to liquid. I gently laid my hand on his shoulder, careful not to step in the puddle. He tensed, but allowed it to remain.

"This is our fault," he whispered. "This was the closest base. They must've cracked down on Underground locations after we escaped. They knew that's where we'd go first."

"If that's true, we have to leave. Now." I didn't know where my rationality was coming from, since I felt otherwise entirely numb. I tried to bring him to his feet, but he stayed rooted to the spot. "There's nothing we can do for them. They must've all been taken or…" I didn't want to think about the latter. "We can blame ourselves later, but right now we've gotta move."

It didn't seem like Sentinel Services had left any booby traps for us, but I knew it was better to play it safe. In truth, it was more likely that the raid of the hideout had nothing to do with us; probably just a routine wipeout of runaway mutants. Somehow, though, I understood Jamie's need to put himself at fault. Sometimes it was easier to think there was something you could have done, when in reality you had no control.

"You're not going to be of help to anyone if you just sit there." That seemed to stir him, and after one more wistful glare at the bloodstain, we were hurrying out of the ghost town as fast as we could. A high pitched squeal rang out all of a sudden, echoing against the high walls. I yelped and jumped backward, only to find that I had trodden on a half-naked baby doll lying on its face. Jamie looked back anxiously.

"Just a toy," I assured him. I picked it up and examined the baby's plastic eyes, discolored from use. It must have been well-loved.

We caught a bus heading out of the city. In stillness we sat, Jamie occupying the window seat with his hand over his eyes. I knew better than to offer any words of comfort. Nothing I could say would be right.

"Children," he whispered to me, finally. "There were children. And they took them without a second thought."

"I know," I said.

"Fuck," He breathed. "Where the hell were the X-Men? Aren't they supposed to protect people like them? Like us?"

"Safe inside their stone mansion," I muttered. "The war on supers is still in full swing, and after registration messed shit up, I bet they want to keep their heads down. Besides, I think a warehouse full of fugitives is a little below their paygrade."

"Meanwhile we get hunted and murdered," He sighed and rubbed his temples. "I used to want to be one of them, you know. As a kid."

I smiled. Disillusionment felt easier in solidarity.

"Me too."

* * *

 _Seven Months Post-Breakout_

We were surviving. By some crazy phenomenon, we were surviving. I started to believe in luck over karma, since with all the places we'd robbed to stay alive I doubted I had any goodwill left. There had been times when it was close-where a cop would almost recognize us, or an unmarked car would pull up in front of our motel window. Each time, we just barely skimmed under the radar, but we were determined to stay uncaged. We never stopped moving, staying in a town a night. No one, not even the hotel concierges seemed to mind that we could only pay in cash for our rooms, meals and other amenities. We couldn't risk using our bank accounts, or anyone else's for that matter. I had learned to hack into ATMs using a well-placed strand of electromagnetic activity. We were golden, so long as we only took what we needed when we needed it.

I knew it couldn't last forever.

One night, we were in the wrong place at the wrong time. We sitting at a bar across the street from our hotel, drinking to the first snow of the year and to another successful cash-register raid from a Walgreens down the block. Jamie spotted them first. He nodded to the front door. Two men dressed in black coats, too well-dressed to be inconspicuous in the dive, entered. I kept my back to them, sipping my beer while Jamie gave me a play by play.

"They're sitting in the back booth," he mouthed.

"Cops or Sentinel Services?"

"Neither are our friends at the moment. We better shove off, but not too quickly."

We quietly paid for our drinks, put on our coats, and walked out the door. Just when we thought we worried for nothing, the men were on our heels.

"Hold it!" One yelled as he burst out onto the sidewalk.

We broke into a run. Jamie and I were on the same unspoken page, leading them down the street and away from our hotel room, in case this was a fight we could win.

"Stop right there!" Bellowed the other one.

Jamie and I turned into an alley. I should've watched enough chase scenes to know it had been a bad move, but we rammed straight into a dead end. The men had us cornered. There would be no running from this one. Both of them had their guns raised.

"Are we sure that's them?"

"They match the pictures, don't they?"

"Shouldn't we tell the boss?"

"We can take 'em."

They advanced, despite my hands already up in submission. Jamie's stayed planted at his side. My heart was pounding, and I couldn't think straight. I didn't even notice the fields erupting from my hands until they had knocked over the man on the left. This terrified his partner, and in the confusion he grabbed hold of Jamie and pressed the barrel of his gun against his head.

"Power down, NOW, or your buddy gets it!"

I looked at Jamie, trying to read his mind through his eyes. I knew if he could, he would have been telling me exactly what to do. He kept his mouth tight, struggling unsuccessfully against the man's grasp. I tried to concentrate on finding the buzzing in the assailant's head so I could bring him down, but I couldn't steady my brain. Energy continued sparking through my head and fingertips.

"I said, power down!" The sound of the gun cocking made me want to scream. I could not, would not lose Jamie. "OW!"

The man dropped his gun and his hold on Jamie, clutching the deep burn on his wrist. The hotheaded bastard wasn't so helpless, after all. The man was angrier than ever and, without warning, he shot right at me. I just barely knocked the bullet out of its path with a slash of purple. Jamie lunged at him, and placed his searing hand on the man's face.

"Maggie, now!" He said to me. I took a breath and honed in on the pulsing coming from the man in agony. In a moment, he collapsed to the ground, asleep.

"Come on," Jamie grabbed my hand, which was still warm from where he'd lit up. "We'll be safe at the hotel. When they wake up, they'll assume we've high tailed it out of town."

"Shouldn't we? What if they're tracking us somehow?"

"If they were, they would've brought an armada, not a couple of idiots."

We took off, leaving the men in the deserted alley. I didn't look back, even though part of me wanted to. Would they freeze? Would someone find them? Those thoughts were dull in my head. All that really mattered was that I didn't let go of Jamie. We didn't stop running until we fell into our tiny, darkened room on the fifth floor.

Panting, we fell against the wall, too exhausted to turn on the light. We sat beside each other like that for a moment, trying to catch breath that felt like it would never return.

"We…" I sputtered. "We just almost…died."

"Yeah," Jamie agreed. He turned to me with a look I'd never seen before. It was blazing, but had nothing to do with anger or his temperature. "We did."

And he kissed me. And I wondered why we hadn't been doing that since day one.

* * *

 _Ten Months Post-Breakout_

Jefferson County, New York. We were making our way as north as we could get without passports.

I returned to our Super 8 room, with an armful of vending machine products, to find Jamie roughly where I had left him: plastered to the TV in a dirty tee shirt and boxers. He was watching the screen with a familiarly tense jaw and furrowed brow.

"Gave up on _Full House_ , huh?" I said, tossing the chips and candy bars onto the bed. He didn't look up.

"It's the anniversary of the battle of Sokovia," He murmured. "Every channel's got something about it."

I sat next to him, lacing my fingers around his, and watched the footage I'd seen too many times already. The city being lifted into the air. The terrified faces of families. The final death count. My gut twisted. I wanted to shut it off, but I knew he wouldn't approve.

"Tony Stark is the world's biggest hypocrite," Jamie said suddenly. "He's responsible for destroying thousands of lives, but has he ever had to face the consequences? And now that he's all pro-registration, the government can't get enough of him. Their perfect Iron Man is a known killer, but all our kind has to do is _breathe_ and we land on the Most Wanted list."

"We're not heroes."

"We shouldn't have to be."

I picked up the remote and switched the channel to some colorful cartoon.

"I told you not to watch the news," I sighed, standing up and walking to the nightstand. "It makes you all righteous." I grabbed a tissue and blew my nose obnoxiously loud.

"One of us should at least know what's going on in the world," but Jamie was smiling. "Still got that cold?"

I'd been feeling shitty for roughly a week, but I was on so many different cold medications to keep me going that my body hadn't had time to fight the infection on its own.

"Yeah," I sniffed. "It'll go away soon."

"I seriously think we ought to see a doctor. Go to one of those 24 hour emergency care places," Jamie came over to place a hand on my forehead.

"They'll ask for ID or insurance, of which I have none. Too much risk for a little bug," I yawned. "We need to go on a supply run, by the way. I don't think I can survive on Snickers bars anymore."

"We can upgrade to Kit-Kats, if you prefer," Jamie smirked, stuffing a Cheeto in his mouth and kissing me brusquely on the cheek with his cheesy lips.

After we checked out the next morning, we headed right for a small gas station just down the road. There was only one person working the register. We shared a smile when we entered, right before she collapsed back in her chair with a flick of my hand. Jamie shot frost up at the security cameras, and we got to work. I filled my bag to the brim with every snack I'd been craving for the past month, while Jamie stocked up on medicine and toiletries.

"I'll grab some cash, then I'll be good to go," I called to him. I hopped over the counter, careful not to land on the sleeping girl. That's when I heard it. A gun cocked, followed by whimpering. I looked down and to my left to find a cowering figure hiding in the doorway to the back room.

Adrenaline pumped through me like a shock wave. I had miscounted the workers. I hadn't been paying enough attention. We stared at each other for a long time before I could feel my mouth again.

"Hey, there…" I said. She looked younger than me. "I'm not going to hurt you, so why don't you just put the gun down?"

Jamie looked over at me, horrified. I motioned for him to stay back. The girl continued gripping her weapon like it was a lifeline. In her mind, perhaps it was.

"Th-the police are already on their way," she stuttered meekly. Dammit. The crappy station must've had one of those under-the-counter robbery buttons. I backed away slowly. Some part of me knew she wouldn't shoot.

"We gotta jam," I said to Jamie, who was already standing at the door.

This time, however, it was too late.

No less than six police cars pulled into the lot at that moment. I watched through the glass as officers poured out with loaded pistols. We were officially surrounded.

"Come out with your hands where we can see them!" shouted an amplified voice.

"Jamie," I whispered. "How did Bonnie and Clyde go down again?"

"In a shower of bullets, as I recall," He squeezed my hand.

"I was afraid you'd say that."

I went out first, the jangling bell of the door resembling a tolling church tower. The two of us stood against the entrance, arms raised in obedient surrender. That is, until I hurtled a large ripple of energy at the battalion, toppling over two of the cars and knocking officers off their feet.

It bought us only a few seconds of running before they were in hot pursuit. We dove off into the nearby forest, praying that the trees would offer some protection as they had the first night we'd been on the run. When we reached a big clearing, gunfire commenced.

I turned in the nick of time to bounce the bullets back out at the attackers. The little pieces of metal landed harmlessly in the snow, and the officers moved in closer. There were too many to outrun. Another gunshot, coming from a barrel aimed right at Jamie. I shielded him with all the strength I had left, but I didn't hear the second shot.

Not until I was falling to the ground did I realize what had happened. I heard Jamie's shouting before I felt the excruciating pain in my right side.

"Maggie!"

Everything was happening too fast. Jamie put up a wall of ice between us and the officers, a feat I'd never even seen him attempt before. He rushed to my side, just as a dark shadow loomed overhead. I knew that meant we were doomed. It had to be a Sentinel aircraft. Jamie cradled me in his arms, whispering my name over and over again.

"It's only a scratch," I mumbled, but I felt my grasp on consciousness fading fast.

"Don't get cliché on me," he said, pressing his hand down on my wound to stopper the bleeding. "We can still…"

But I knew hope had been lost. More shouting came from all around me, and suddenly, as though someone had pressed a giant _mute_ button, all noise ceased. For a moment, I thought I was dead. Jamie's quivering arms around me told me otherwise. I could see the cops on the other side of the ice wall frozen in place. I was too drained to ask what was going on.

Before I fell into darkness, I heard a voice in my head. It wasn't mine, or any that I recognized. It was the voice of a gentle man. " _You're going to be alright, Magnolia. My X-Men are here to help. You're safe."_

Then, everything went black.


	3. The X-Men (I)- Welcome

I was awake for a solid five minutes before I found the energy to open my eyes. I could make sense of little factors around me, but not the big picture quite yet. For instance, I knew the mattress I was on top of was skinny and hard. The blanket I was under was itchy. There was a constant, annoying hum of machinery close by. My side ached. I knew, as a result of knowing all that, I was alive.

When I finally lifted my lids a crack, I immediately forced them shut again. There was gray light seeping in from a large window that burned my dark-adjusted pupils. I couldn't have been out for too long if it was still daytime. Unless, of course, I'd been asleep for days, or weeks…

What had happened? I couldn't piece together my last memories in a way that filled me in on where I was and what was going on. The only thing to do was to look and see for myself, hard as it felt to be conscious. Sight returned to me fully, and showed me I was in a large room lined with metal cots similar to the one I lay in. Around my bed was a collection of high-tech gadgets, whirring and beeping, presumably to signify my vitals. Attached to my right arm was a regular-looking IV with steadily dripping fluid. It didn't look like a hospital. More like an empty, modern version of Madeline's bedroom, where twelve little girls slept in twelve straight lines. I tried not to panic, but my confusion was not helping.

"Oh!"

I turned my head on my pillow to see a girl with short flaming red hair and a lab coat standing at the door. She looked surprised to find me staring back at her.

"I didn't realize you were awake. Um, weird. I mean, that's good! I, uh, knew you were in pain, which is why I came to adjust your drip, but I guess I didn't sense…um, hold on a sec-Ororo!"

She stuck her head back out the door while she called this new name, and was joined, in a matter of moments, by the most beautiful person I'd ever laid eyes on. An African woman with piercing blue eyes and pure white hair glided into the room, and I was struck with a strange mixture of awe and calm. The two of them approached my bed, looking me over like I was a frog laid out on a dissection tray. Then, my scared eyes met the blue, and the one called Ororo smiled.

"Maggie, is it?" she said gently. I nodded, embarrassed I hadn't recovered my voice yet. "There's no need to be afraid. You're in the infirmary at the X-Mansion. Rachel and I have been taking care of you."

No way. I could have laughed out loud in relief, if I wasn't worried about busting any stiches that might be holding me together. The X-Men had saved me. _The X-Men_.

"Thank…you." It was a stupid response, but the first one that came to my dry lips. Ororo's wider smile encouraged me to form the questions fizzing in my head. "Why, though? How did you find us? And…and Jamie, is he here?"

"I imagine you must have a lot of questions," Ororo said, exchanging a glance with Rachel. "I promise they'll all be answered in due time. When you're feeling up to it, you and Jamie will meet with the Professor together. In fact, I better tell your companion you're awake. He was waiting at your bedside all night, I finally ordered him to get some rest."

I exhaled slowly. Jamie was alive. We both were. It felt like Christmas.

"Rachel," Ororo said to her red-headed friend. "Increase her dosage. Share the medical report with her _in full_. I'll be right back."

Rachel nodded as the gorgeous woman strode back out of the room. She came over to my IV and pressed a few buttons on a touch screen monitor.

"The pain seems to have gone down a lot," she noted. It felt like she was talking more to herself than to me.

"How can you tell?" I asked.

"Telepath," She shot me half a grin. At the wave of her hand, a drawer opened across the room. Out of it floated a small flashlight that landed perfectly in her gloved hand. "Among other things. Which is why it was strange I didn't know you were awake. Even now you feel kind of….unconscious to me. Could be your whacky electromagnetic field."

I frowned, having no idea what she meant by that. Was my mutation diluting the telepath's intrusion? Was that even possible? Rachel clicked the little flashlight and shone it in my eyes without warning.

"When I was little I wished I'd been born a telepath," I mused, blinking furiously. "Then I realized I'd hate to know what's going on in people's minds."

Rachel laughed quietly and shut off the light.

"It's not all it's cracked up to be, that's for sure. But when you learn to control it…"

The door opened again. It was not Ororo this time, but a man with sandy brown hair and deep red sunglasses that hid his expression.

"Hey," He called to Rachel, with a nod of recognition in my direction. "Storm told me she was awake. The Professor wants to brief them as soon as possible, so send them to the office when they're ready."

"Sure thing, boss" Rachel beamed at him.

"Not your boss," the man rolled his eyes. "Keep up the good work, Jean—Rachel." He coughed awkwardly and Rachel flushed as red as her hair. To cover up the apparent mishap, he turned to me. "I'm Scott, by the way. Welcome." With that, he hurried out.

Rachel busied herself by checking the monitor behind me.

"What just happened?" I tried not to smirk. "And was that…Cyclops?"

The X-Men were different from most superheroes in terms of celebrity status. The team as a whole had reached mainstream, but the individual heroes were known only by name, if even that. I didn't have an inkling as to what any of them looked like prior to today. It made sense. They were established to stay hidden.

"Hm?" Rachel had successfully distracted herself. "Oh, yeah. God, I hate it when he does that."

"Calls you Jean?"

"He doesn't mean to. I just look like her, especially when I'm on doctor-duty."

I wasn't following at all, and it must have been painfully obvious because she chuckled bashfully and proceeded to explain.

"Scott's my dad. Well, sort of. I was born in an alternate universe to him and my mom, Jean Grey. But in this world Scott lost his Jean, and it's not easy trying to live up to her, and…I'm so sorry, this is super complicated and you've just suffered a trauma."

I raised the corners of my mouth. Despite the bizarre-ness of her backstory, I felt for a moment like we were just two young adults discussing reality-TV worthy drama. That, and I realized I was finally among people _way_ more fucked up than I was. I was rocked with a surge of both pity and excitement, then subsequent guilt for feeling either of those things.

"Yup, that definitely falls under the 'complicated' category," I agreed, with what I hoped was a warm look. "But I don't mind. Complicated is kinda my normal at this point."

Rachel's smile faltered slightly.

"Right. About complicated…I need to go over something that came up in your medical examination. Probably best before the others get—"

But, as if on cue, the door opened yet again to reveal the only person in the world I really wanted to be around. Jamie looked exhausted, dark circles under his eyes dimming his otherwise glowing face. He was just as thrilled to see me alive as I was to see him. Though we'd most likely only been apart for a few hours at most, we hadn't been much further than ten-feet from one another in roughly a year.

"Goddamn, Maggie," He grinned, rushing to my side and taking my hand in both of his. I tried to sit up to meet him, but found I was a lot stiffer than I'd thought. "Take it easy, take it easy," he instructed.

"Miss me terribly?" It was a sign of our friendship that he bothered to laugh at my weak quip. I suddenly felt strong enough to swing my legs over the side, and with his help, I sat upright, careful not to rip the IV from my arm. The blood rushed from my head, but the dizziness was worth the return of feeling semi-functional.

Ororo had followed Jamie brusquely into the room. She had just pulled up what looked like an extensive list on the monitor next to my head, and was scrolling through absentmindedly.

"The wound itself was incredibly shallow, no doubt in thanks to your protective abilities," She began in a business-like voice. "At such a close range the bullet should have gone right through you, but the Professor and I suspect your energy may have kept it from entering your body completely."

I looked at Jamie, surprised that they already knew so much about my powers. More, it would seem, than I did. He merely shrugged and tightened his grip on my hand.

"No vital organs were hit, and with the bullet now removed I'm sure you'll be back in peak physical condition in no time," Ororo continued. "And the baby was completely unharmed, though I might recommend an ultrasound in a few weeks or so to check in."

I froze, mid-nod.

"Baby?" I repeated. I felt my stomach plummet, like I was dropping from an eighty-degree angle on a rollercoaster. I must have misunderstood. My mind was so fuzzy that I wasn't entirely sure everything I was hearing was real.

Both Ororo and Jamie shot matching glares at Rachel, who was still standing on the other side of my bed.

"I was about to tell her when you walked in!" She protested against their blaming glances.

"We'll give you two some time in private," Ororo said, walking over to collect Rachel and herd her towards the exit. "I'll return shortly to bring you to the Professor myself. Everything's alright, now." It looked like she said it more for me than for Jamie. I must have looked like I was about to burst into tears, but I swallowed the terror as best I could. The door shut, and Jamie and I were alone again.

"Hi," He said.

"Oh my God," I stated.

"Yeah."

We were quiet for a good, long time, while he traced little circles into my palm with his thumb. I didn't know which question to dive in with first, and I knew whichever I chose would be the wrong one to start with.

"You knew?" I finally asked.

"They told me after your initial med-exam. You were still conked out, so it wasn't like there was much I could do to tell you. They put you at a little over two months."

Two months. That was still early. Early enough to…

"What am I going to do?" It was a cliché thing to say next, and I knew it, but Jamie knew better than to call me out on it.

" _We_ , stupid."

"Fine. What are _we_ going to do?" I amended. "I mean, holy shit, we just got abducted by the X-Men. I haven't even had time to process _that_ , and now I'm supposed to deal with the fact that I'm _pregnant?_ "

Saying the words made me want to vomit. It wasn't that I was repulsed by the idea of carrying Jamie's kid. No…it was the opposite. I felt _warmed_ by that. But I was afraid. The rollercoaster wouldn't stop. Weren't there supposed to be warning signs? Morning sickness? I realized I hadn't been paying attention to my health and well-being whatsoever, other than the bare minimum of keeping myself alive.

"Well," Jamie bit down on his lip, and I realized he was suppressing a smile. "I'll get an office job. We'll move to Colorado. Buy a big house with a white picket fence and red shingles, with a big backyard."

"I'm serious."

"I don't know."

We sighed at the same time.

"Is it…wrong that I want you to keep it?" He asked tentatively.

I looked at him, and saw that he was just as scared as I was. There was something in his eyes, though, that was different from how I felt. Hope.

"You do?"

"I…yeah," Jamie went on, brushing a lock of hair from my face. "Maggie, I _know_ it won't be easy, but what part of our lives _is_ anymore? I don't know if you've read the studies, but mutant fertility rates are dropping faster than ever. It's unlikely for our kind to even _conceive_ anymore. When you consider it, it's a bit…a bit of a miracle."

Miracle. I thought staying uncaptured for this long was a miracle. I thought surviving a shot to the stomach was a miracle. But a baby? Jamie had had a lot more time to think about this than I had, of course. For some reason, I just couldn't bring myself to argue against it, no matter how big a life decision this was. I didn't want to…disappoint him.

"Okay," I whispered, and the look on his face made my heart fill.

"Okay?" He whispered back, his timid excitement bursting through only a little. He kissed me, and I thought I even saw tears forming in the corner of his eyes. "Damn. A kid."

"Yeah. We can barely take care of ourselves."

"We'll figure it out."

We sat like that for a while, foreheads pressed against one another. I didn't know how long we had until Ororo returned, but I inexplicably felt like we were waiting to be executed.

"Have you met the Professor yet?"

"No," Jamie admitted. "He wasn't on the jet, and when we arrived I was in here with you until Storm made me go lie down."

"So we have no idea what we're in for."

"They saved our lives. I don't think we're in trouble."

"I don't think we're _not_ in trouble," I said softly. "We're the bad mutants you see on TV, Jamie."

"Come on. We are not. They probably just—"

Interrupted by the opening of the door, we both fell silent. At least we'd face whatever came next together. Of that, I could be sure.

The halls of the mansion were almost exactly how I pictured. A study in dark wood paneling and tasteful décor that I'm sure would have put the Vanderbilts to shame. I tried to look casual, but I always had a soft spot for richy-rich architecture and was turning my head every chance I got to take it all in. I got to bring my new IV friend along, towing it beside me like it was my conjoined twin. We didn't have to go very far. Ororo led us down one hall, hung a left, and down one more until we reached a large, ornate double door with brass handles. I could tell before the doors were opened that this room was built to be the patriarchal office of the home.

I could feel three brains on the other side of the wall. (Okay, it sounds gross, but it's the best way I can describe it). Their voices soon reached me through their vibrations, hushed in intensity.

"S.H.I.E.L.D's already keeping more tabs on us than necessary at the moment. Harboring fugitives would not put us in a great light," said a voice I recognized as Scott's.

"They only did what they had to in order to survive. Surely you understand that." I knew that voice, too, but I couldn't remember from where. It was a man's, calm and steady.

"I understood the rescue op, Professor," Scott persisted. "I even understand offering them training. But we have to be vigilant. We don't know—"

"If they're evil?" cut in a third voice, that of a stern woman. "While I highly doubt it, seeing as the evidence merely points to them being in the wrong place at the wrong time, it's nothing we couldn't handle. We all know Xavier's creed by now is to give second chances. I owe my place here to that. Have a little faith, dear. And look sharp, our conversation is no longer private."

The doors swung open by no one's hand. Ororo gestured for us to enter, and hesitantly we came to face Scott, a tall blonde woman (whom I instantly feared and respected), and an older bald man sitting in an intricate wheelchair. I wasn't expecting the famous professor to be handicapped. Again, I'd never seen his picture, only read stories about his earlier work on genetic molecular mutation.

"Ms. Addams, Mr. Church. Good to see you both in better condition. Have a seat," He said. When he smiled, his eyes crinkled kindly. Mechanically, Jamie and I obliged, plopping into two chairs facing a big wooden desk. The seat was much too squishy to be comfortable, but I supposed rich people liked that sort of thing.

"This is Scott Summers, one of my formers students, now a teacher himself at this school, and leader of the X-Men. Jamie, I believe the two of you met on the flight here." Scott nodded stiffly to the both of us. He seemed very much like he had something stuck up his butt, but I liked that about him. The Professor held out his hand to the blonde lady.

"And Emma Frost, our deputy headmistress. You've already met Ororo, of course."

The two women smiled politely, but remained far apart from one another. The rift between them was clear, but the dynamics of this place were already far too confusing to work out in my first day.

"There will be plenty of time for more proper introductions at a later date," The Professor continued. "For now, I'd like to speak to these two alone."

The "teachers" all filed out, each taking one last glance at us like we were an oddity in a zoo. When it was just the three of us, it finally hit me where I'd heard the Professor's voice prior.

"You were in my head," I blurted out. "In the clearing."

Jamie looked befuddled, but Xavier continued to smile and gave a slight nod.

"One of my many abilities as a telepath. Though with you, Maggie, it was a bit more difficult to reach you. I thought I could prevent you from going into shock after your injury, but since I was tracking you through Cerebro and not there in person, my reach was limited."

"Cerebro," Jamie repeated, trying to keep up without sounding totally out of it.

"A device that assists me in finding people like you. Not only have you been too good about moving around, but Maggie's energy made it harder for Cerebro to locate both of you. See, we've been trying to find the two of you for a while, now. I'd heard of your escape from prison, though these days that's not uncommon, so we did nothing at first. When your infamy grew, however, I knew we had to intervene. My regret is that it wasn't sooner, but your retrieval had to be handled delicately. We were looking for two extremely powerful, untrained mutants who were lost and afraid."

His tone wasn't condescending, but I felt Jamie tense up beside me.

"So it was luck that got you to us in the nick of time," I said flatly.

"More like opportunity," said Xavier. "I received word of the police chase, and in your panic your defenses were down. I was able to track you more precisely and send some of my X-Men to bring you in."

There was a pause while I allowed the story to sink in. Jamie, on the other hand, was growing more anxious by the minute. It was like we'd swapped places.

"So what happens now?" He asked. "We're too old to be students, and we're wanted criminals. Not exactly ideal candidates for your utopic school."

"Now, I invite you to stay," Xavier replied simply. "The choice is entirely yours of course, if you'd prefer jail, but under this roof I can offer you a safe haven. In exchange, you will comply to attend regular training sessions with me and some of the others to gain better control over your powers."

It sounded like a win-win, but it had to be too good to be true.

"What's in it for you?" I asked.

He looked at me for a moment as though the question had thrown him off. I was sure he was reading my mind, so I tried my best to keep it blank. A near-impossible feat.

"It is my self-proclaimed _job_ to help mutants find their way. I can't be there for all of them, but I do my best. The two of you have power and potential beyond what you may know, and besides the fact that I like to see people like you succeed in this world, I do believe you'll both prove to be useful."

There was a slight chill in his voice that seemed out of character. An image flashed in my head of Jamie and I in ridiculous costumes, fighting alongside the X-Men like mindless soldiers.

"Useful how?" I raised my eyebrows.

"For starters, I'd like to get the two of you set up in assistant teacher positions," He said brightly. I hoped I didn't look too bewildered by the job offer. "Jamie, you were a technology and film major, were you not?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Excellent. I'll have you helping out our computer science teacher, Kitty Pryde. Maggie, I think I'll place you with our History teacher, Logan. That is, if you're planning to stay."

Jamie and I looked at each other, doing that thing we did where we read each other's minds without being telepaths. This was our safest bet.

"What happens if someone finds out you're hiding us?" Jamie asked.

"We will cross that bridge if we come to it. Delinquents in this mansion have come and gone, and I suspect the two of you have answered for your crimes more than justly. If you don't mind the work, you'll do just fine here. And," he added, lowering his voice. "Your child would have a home."

I knew Jamie would cave at those words. Just like that, we were committed to a world I knew almost nothing about. A world of being with people like us. A world of helping others. A world of being a parent. In just a few short hours my life had been flipped upside down, and I felt a strange sense of serenity as a result. I put a hand on Jamie's shoulder to show I was with him.

"We're in."

The Professor smiled in return.

"Welcome to the Xavier Institute for Higher Learning."


	4. The X-Men (II)-Weird

It was ironic how difficult fitting in with the ultimate outcasts of society turned out to be. While no one was outright unfriendly, it was clear we had yet to complete our initiation into the elite mutant cult. The students we ran into those first few days didn't try to conceal their stares. It made sense. We'd made the news, after all, and it wasn't like we'd done the mutant community any favors publicity-wise. The X-Men themselves were secretive, and I always suspected they were talking about us behind our backs. We were the newbies, and I felt like we were going to be hazed at any moment. We may have received adult roles at Xavier's Institute, but we sure as hell weren't ranked above a couple of kids fresh off the bus. Man, it was good to be back at school.

They gave Jamie and me a room that was nicer than any of the hotels we'd stayed at. There was a private bathroom, and two standard issue dormitory beds. Twin long. I remembered vaguely spending hours at Bed, Bath, & Beyond looking for the perfect fitted sheets before going to college. That felt like another lifetime. Another me.

Once we pushed the beds together, it was the perfect home.

While Jamie was acting like a kid in a candy store, I was wary of our gracious hosts. I didn't believe for one second that we could live here forever undisturbed and uninvolved in the chaos that was the life of an X-Man.

The mansion was more like a hub than a school. There were times I felt like I was stuck in Port Authority, with the way people came and went. I bumped into new faces at every corner, and people I had just been introduced to would say goodbye the next day as they departed for a mission. I hadn't seen Ororo since our first encounter. I'd heard she'd gone to Wakanda of all places to help deal with some diplomacy issue. Heroes had weird lives, and while it was exciting to be on the sidelines, I was grateful to be out of their game.

I still hadn't met the supposed history professor I was to be working with—I say "supposed" because I was fairly certain the majority of faculty there had not completed a single degree—but the rumors I heard about him did not relieve my stress.

"Logan's pretty illusive," Jamie's new authority, Kitty, told me. The three of us were sitting in the computer lab, the young brown haired girl tinkering mindlessly with an old desktop. "He's basically, like, the drunk uncle of the X-Men. And sometimes, more animal than human. Don't get me wrong, I love the guy. He's just moody, so stay on his good side when you meet him."

"Sounds like a charmer," Jamie muttered.

"We all have our quirks," Kitty giggled. "Hand me that screwdriver?"

I tossed the little Phillips head to her, which she caught with ease.

"Maggie, I gotta say, it's nice to have someone within my age range in the house for a change," Kitty said, twisting out a screw. "I mean, Rachel's only a little bit older than me, too, but she treats me same as everyone. I'm forever the baby. No one gets my generational references."

"Hey, what about me? I'm down with the kids," complained Jamie.

"Puh-lease," I mocked. "Thirty is old-man status. Do you even know who Ed Sheeran is?"

"Ha ha," He rolled his eyes.

A loud knock from the other side of the room made all of us jump in unison

"Who the hell _knocks_ on a classroom door?" I laughed.

"Someone way too polite and awkward for his own good." Kitty shook her head and stood up. She went over to the closed door and stuck her head through. And by that, I mean _literally_ phased her head through the door. So far and by far, I liked Kitty's powers (and personality) the best.

"Hiya," I heard her say affectionately. "Wanna come in?"

"Not now, Katya. Professor wants us in the Danger Room," said a muffled voice. I recognized it as the Russian man of steel, Peter. Or Colossus, I think his cool name was. I'd met Kitty's on-and-off beau twice already, but I couldn't get a read on him. Not just because he could turn into a hunk of metal.

"What? Why?"

"Wants us to go over new Sentinel training protocol."

"Should I bring-?"

"Not yet. They're not ready."

Not ready. I knew it hadn't been that long since our arrival, but it had been the consistent lousy excuse for keeping Jamie and I out of the loop. It bothered Jamie a lot more than me, who was practically chomping at the bit to start zapping dummies or whatever "training" would entail.

Kitty's head reappeared back in the room. She shot us an apologetic smile.

"Sorry, guys, duty calls," she said. "It's about dinner time, why don't you go grab some grub? Jamie, you and I can finish up in the morning before class."

Jamie had attended a total of one class, and already he had become the hot assistant teacher. I reminded myself it was just because of the sexy accent, but it didn't help that pubescent high schoolers were checking him out as we roamed the halls, (in addition to the glares we received just for being outsiders). It was stares on stares on glares.

It was going to take time to get used to this place, I resolved.

It had been hard to fall asleep at night. I was too exhausted for sleep. Normally, I would just squeeze my eyes shut, try not to wake Jamie, and patiently wait until morning. Something about being in the new environment had made it exceedingly difficult to keep still, however.

I had already figured out the peak times to visit the mansion's breathtaking kitchen. Approximately an hour and a half after the student's curfew, the spectacle of a fully stocked fridge, bursting cupboards, and marble island counters so clean you could eat off of them, was mine for the taking. I had missed the luxury of a kitchen more than anything while being on the road, and so the room had instantly become my favorite. One that I did not particularly enjoy sharing with others. So, when I knew it to be both clean and empty, I would scoot downstairs for some alone time and a bowl of sugary cereal.

Tonight, I was dismayed to find I wasn't the only one with such an affinity for a late-night sneak-about. My unwilling company took the form of a man in a white tank and sideburns that resembled a mane. He was sitting with his back to me at the counter, half a six pack of beer littering the surface. I could almost see his ears perk up as I entered the room, and I decided I should make myself known, lest he pounced when startled.

"Didn't know they allowed alcohol on campus," I said, clearing my throat. I felt his eyes on me as I moved to the cupboard.

"Not like anyone's gonna breathalyze me." He spoke in a growl that wasn't menacing, but had the potential to erupt.

I smirked as I opened the cupboard to survey the options. No more Rice Crispies. Shit.

"So you're the girl, huh?"

I turned to face him directly for the first time. He didn't look unkind, like I had been expecting. On the contrary, he had the disposition of a guard dog-wild and defensive, but gallant.

"Yep. I'm _the_ girl. The one and only." I tried to nod dramatically.

"Maggie, right?"

"And you're Logan. News travels fast, I guess."

He chuckled.

"Charley gave me some of the specifics about you, I should've expected he returned the favor. Not a lotta secrets around here, 'specially with a load of telepaths running the joint. Guess you're gonna be my intern or whatever."

"Yeah. Or whatever. I have to warn you, I don't know much about history, except what Ken Burns flicks have taught me."

"Already more than I know, kid. You'll do fine." He emptied the can in his fist and popped open another. "I wasn't all too _thrilled_ to be on babysitting duty, but from what I hear you can handle yourself alright."

"And what have you heard?"

"That you and your boyfriend outran the Sentinel Service dicks. That you've got a decent set of powers. Everyone's waiting to see what you've got."

I swallowed hard. Was I somehow being built up in these people's minds as something I wasn't? A year ago I could barely control the swirling energy, and while I could exploit it in different ways, I was in no way a talent.

"Don't get your hopes up."

"Never do."

Dejected and distraught by the lack of cereal, I slumped onto the barstool beside him and pointed to the remaining beer.

"Can you spare one for your lovely assistant?"

Logan hesitated for a moment, and just when I thought he couldn't bring himself to share his precious cargo, he slid one over to me. It made a satisfying skid across the countertop.

"Knock yourself out."

Don't mind if I did. I eagerly snapped it open and sucked in a gulp, wondering why I had gone so many days without a drink. Remembering, I stopped short, stood up, and spat it all out in the sink. Logan looked like he was going to burst out laughing, but he kept his cool.

"IPA not your thing?" He asked, finishing another can himself.

"No," I sputtered, spitting once more for good measure. "I just-I forgot. I'm shouldn't…I'm not supposed to drink."

"What, are you sober?"

"Worse," I sighed, looking down at the floor. I'd already reached terrible-mom status. "I'm, uh, in the family way." That was a thing people said, right?

If it surprised Logan, he did a very good job of hiding it.

"Congratulations," He said. "Helluva thing to forget about."

"There's been a lot going on."

"I know the feeling."

I resumed my position beside him and we sat watching the ornate clock above the stove tick away the seconds with great speed. Logan, as it turned out, was easy to be with. I didn't feel the need to be understood, nor to understand him. Not that I wasn't the tiniest bit curious.

"Can I ask where you've been?"

"No."

"Okay."

More comfortable quiet.

"Do people ever call you 'Wolvey' for short?" I asked, tracing my reflection in the marble with my finger.

"No."

"Can I?"

"Nope."

"Not even now that you're my mentor? Don't I get special privileges?"

"I don't wanna be anyone's mentor."

I grinned.

"Too late."

The next morning was terrifying. I could barely eat at breakfast, counting the minutes until my very first one-on-one meeting with Professor X. He had been postponing our private trainings since we got there, whether because he was busy or wanted to give us time to settle in, I didn't know. Either way, it had only prolonged my anxiety. Jamie had to run off early to class, but he kissed the top of my head as though to imbue me with confidence.

"But what if I do something stupid, like blow up the office? Or cry? Or both?" I'd been asking Jamie 'what-if's for hours.

"Then we'll flee the country." That was his response to just about everything. "Mags, it'll be fine. Meet up for lunch at noon? Then you can tell me everything, and it'll finally be my turn to worry."

Jamie was unashamedly jealous that I had been granted first dibs, but he tried to be a good sport about it. He was still coming down from the high of living with the X-Men, and that would keep him going for a while longer.

At precisely ten-thirty, I rapped three times on the large office door. I had a thing about being exactly on time. Being early or late felt equally awkward.

"Come in." The door swung open. Xavier was at his desk, scribbling away. He looked tired, and I wondered if he'd been away.

"I just got back this morning," He responded to my thoughts with a kind smile. "My help was needed negotiating new policies for the Shi'ar Empire. The X-Men have some…off-world alliances I need to check in on every now and then." Embarrassed, I muttered something like "Welcome back" and advised myself against doing anymore wondering.

"Curiosity is a skill, not a sin, Maggie." He gestured for me to have a seat, which I did.

"Sorry, Professor, but is it possible…would you mind _not_ reading my mind?" I tried to ask it as politely as I could. Much to my confusion, he laughed.

"I was hoping you would say that," Xavier replied gently. "Because it brings me to what I'd like to work on today."

He wheeled himself around the desk to face me without a barrier.

"Do you remember what I said the day you arrived? About how hard it was to track you?"

I nodded.

"Because of my energy, yeah," I said. "Does that mean-holy shit, can I put a force field around my mind? Um, sorry, bad language," I added.

"I work with teenagers and Logan. Believe me, I've heard worse," The Professor continued to smile. "But, you are correct. It is my theory that because your energy is produced from your brain's electromagnetic field, that it is also strongest in that region. With the right concentration, you should be able to protect it from intruding forces beyond the physical."

"That telepath, Rachel…" I remembered. "She said I felt unconscious to her. Was that me blocking her from inside?"

"I suspect so."

"But you said it was easier to find me when I was freaked out," I was suddenly bursting with questions. "Shouldn't adrenaline automatically put my defenses up? Shouldn't that be when I need to be protected the most?"

Xavier leaned back in his chair and looked me over.

"That's how it works with most mutations, yes. We are at our most powerful when we are frightened or angry. That's our natural 'fight or flight' instinct. With you, there may be some variation. While your external forces appeared to be stronger in combat, the internal may have been weakened as a result."

So, it was official. I was weird even among the weird. Great.

"I'll observe you when you begin training with the other students to gain a better sense of your powers. But, for now, let's begin with this."

He wheeled closer to me, and as he did I could feel the humming in his head grow stronger.

"Try to concentrate. I'm going to project a thought of my own into your head, and I want you to expel it. Put up a wall to keep me out."

Xavier pressed two fingers to his temple, and before I was even ready, a vision encompassed me entirely. I was walking through a field, one I'd never seen before, but that felt so familiar. It was beautiful and sunny and I had a strong urge to curl up on a rock. Just as I lay down, the sky changed and pellets of rain began shooting out from above. It wasn't normal rain. It burned with every drop. I ran as fast as I could, but there was no shelter for as far as the eye could see. I had to get out. I had to get out. I couldn't. I was trapped, frozen where I stood while the rain continued to rip at my skin. The images around me started getting fuzzy.

I was suddenly halfway back in the room, and halfway still in that field. I could make out the Professor in front of me, his face beginning to contort oddly. I realized he was wrestling to stay awake. I heard his voice in my head, a pained whisper. _Maggie…_

Then, there was nothing but reality. I was gripping the arms of the chair so hard I felt bits of wood under my nails. As I came to, so did Xavier.

"Well, that was…interesting" He said, rubbing his eyes.

"What just happened?"

"When facing off with the illusion I created for you, instead of shielding your mind, you seem to have gone on the offensive."

"Sorry-" I started to say, but he held up a hand to stop me.

"No need. I didn't expect you to get it on the first try, of course. But your response was noteworthy. You manipulated the energy from _my_ brain, not your own. Was that conscious?"

I shook my head. I didn't think I'd reacted at all; the vision had been overpowering.

"I mean," I added quietly. "I knew I could do that. I've put people to sleep before. But usually I have to work at it." I prayed he didn't ask who I'd used it on, and if he picked up on that thought, he was kind enough to indulge me.

"Sedation is a useful power," Xavier murmured. "Though one must be careful, and, as with all things, use it in moderation. The goal is to learn to be _aware_ of what you're doing, otherwise you will lose control. "

"I understand."

He studied me for a moment, as though debating about whether or not to say what was truly on his mind. One of the rare times I wished I could read thoughts.

"I must apologize. I didn't mean to cause you pain. I'd hoped an element of danger might drive you to repel my presence. But perhaps we'll try again with something easier—"

Saved by the door. Or, whoever was knocking at the door. Xavier gave an almost undetectable jerk of his head, and it flung open. There stood Kitty, biting her lip. She looked like she was struggling to keep her expression neutral. Something had happened.

"Sorry to interrupt," She said, hurrying into the room. "But there's something you need to see."

Minutes later, a handful of the X-Men, Jamie, and I were gathered around a flat-screen TV in one of the drawing rooms, holding our breath.

" _In a response to accelerated mutant crime, a new reform has been approved regarding incarcerated individuals. A modified 'cure' has been released, adapted from Dr. Kavita Rao's original product. What is being dubbed the 'Hope Serum 2.0', will now be required for any mutant sentenced to a detention center, following fair trial. Kieran Trask, who spearheaded the renewal of the serum, had this to say:"_

A man with slicked back hair and a suit so fancy it was offensive stood at a podium.

 _"After the cure is introduced, mutants will have what they didn't have before: the opportunity to return to society after carrying out their sentence. Eventually, prisoners with abilities will be able to live in human penitentiaries, completely eliminating a need for these special prisons. Violence and death rates among mutant inmates is sure to drop tenfold."_

Back to the reporter.

" _Tony Stark, known advocate of superhero registration, refused to comment on the requirement. CEO of Stark Industries, Pepper Potts, however, tweeted last night that it was 'reckless not to consider the nation's mutant prejudice when making these decisions.' Whether she speaks for the man in Iron himself remains to be seen, but already protesters include mutants, fellow superhumans, and humans alike, thousands of which are lined up right now outside—"_

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me."

Everyone turned to Logan, who was leaning against the back wall with an unlit cigar dangling from his mouth.

"It was only a matter of time before Sentinel Services made their big move," Emma Frost folded her arms in front of her chest. "That brat Trask has been trying to get his hands on Dr. Rao's so-called 'cure' for ages."

"A voluntary cure was one thing, but a requirement? Isn't that at least a _little_ unconstitutional?" Kitty was twirling her hair so tightly around her finger it was turning blue.

"Everyone knows damn well they don't just imprison mutants for crimes," Jamie said. "They're rounding them up off the streets just for showing off, like Maggie and me. Innocent people will lose their powers. Tons of them."

"Until eventually there are none of us left," Peter finished the thought.

There was a moment of silence before eyes slowly turned to Professor X, who had been pensively quiet throughout the broadcast. When he continued to say nothing, Scott stood up from the couch, sighing.

"We could try appealing to S.H.I.E.L.D," He said, keeping his voice confident. "They may be law-enforcers, but there's no way they can endorse an attack on the mutant race. There would be an all-out war—one even the X-Men couldn't prevent."

"Dear, I appreciate your ambition in all this," Emma put her hand on his shoulder. "But S.H.I.E.L.D doesn't give a rat's ass about us. They're perfectly content to let us live or die, so long as they don't have to deal with it."

"They owe us. We've helped S.W.O.R.D at our own expense multiple times. We've complied with their conditions under registration. Hell, Beast has given his life to the Avengers! They can't ignore this." Scott appeared to be doing his best to rally the troops.

I moved to stand by Logan, preferring to watch from the outside rather than dive into the fray.

"Whose job was it to name all these secret organizations?" I whispered to him under my breath.

He stifled his grin.

"Someone obsessed with acronyms."

The room was steadily transforming into a battleground for Scott and Emma. It was headmaster versus team leader. No one dared intervene.

"It took them years to rebuild to their former glory after Hyrda's infiltration. I doubt they'd do anything to damage their relationship to the U.S. Government. We have to be cautious," Emma insisted.

"You're idea of 'cautious' is to hide!"

"As is mine." The Professor wheeled in front of the television, which was still splattering images of Sentinel robots and detention centers. "She's right, Scott. This is not yet our fight."

"Not our flamin' fight?" Logan stalked forward and pointed a raging finger at the screen. "Those are our people out there!"

"And these are our people in here," said Xavier calmly. "If we retaliate in anger, it will only fuel the notion that we are somehow at fault, and a war is certain. If we hold back, proceed tactfully, we stand a chance at proving mutant kind is worth saving." He rolled towards the door, leaving the rest of us with only the newscaster's monologue as guidance.

For someone who was so wise, the Professor was missing something big. There was no war to be prevented. A war had already begun.

Later that night, Jamie paced about our room while brushing his teeth with incessant vigor.

"Hey," I crawled to the edge of the bed and stuck my feet out in a poor attempt to trip him. "Go easy there, bleeding gums."

He nudged my legs aside and went to rinse in the bathroom. When he returned, he looked only somewhat pacified. He sat beside me, but I expected it was only so he could avoid my worried gaze.

"You know what all this means, don't you?" Jamie whispered.

I replied by resting my head on his shoulder.

"They'll come for us next."


	5. The X-Men (III)-Lucky

A month flew by like a dream.

I'd been training with the novice group of students-not because I wasn't _good,_ I was assured, but because I needed to "take it easy" while in my fragile maternal condition. When I found out I couldn't get the full-on X-treatment, I almost threw a tantrum. Fortunately, the inch of dignity I'd acquired in my young adult life prevented me from lashing out. Jamie, on the other hand, participated in long Danger Room sessions with the X-Bros themselves. I got to watch from the control room and help program obstacles for them. Sometimes, I'd make it super hard on purpose.

"C'mon, pals, put your backs into it!" I said cheerfully into the intercom, as the heroes stumbled around a flaming battlefield littered with killer robots.

"I'll put _your_ back into it," I heard Logan growl before he was tossed by Colossus into the air. He swooped straight into the heart of one of the droids, puncturing it with three steely claws. He shot me a snotty grin as the simulation dissolved and the room turned back into a room.

"You're haven't gone soft on us, have you?" Jamie called up. "That was a piece of cake!" But he was sweating and panting so I knew I'd done alright.

The only upside to being forced to play safe was I had many more private lessons with the Professor. Slowly, but surely, I was learning I was capable of so much more than I'd ever imagined.

"Excellent, Maggie!" I pushed out the breath I didn't realize I'd been holding and wiped a bead of sweat from my neck. I had returned to his sunlit office of my own volition, repelling his invasion of my mind. I'd finally sealed if off from him. The only one in my head was me.

I released a half-laugh, half-pant and grinned at him. There I had been, starting to think I was hopeless, and in an instant I proved my self-conscious ass wrong. I felt slightly heavier, but that was how I knew my brain was protected. But, still, I couldn't hold it for long. My guard dropped with my shoulders and I leaned back in the chair, more worn out than I should have been.

"If I can't block telepaths without extreme concentration," I sighed heavily. "What use is that? I might leave cracks. Someone could slip through."

"You'll improve with time," The Professor said. "As do we all. It _is_ interesting, though. You appear to have far more difficulty using your fields for defensive purposes, as opposed to the offensive. "

"I know. The irony's not lost on me, I promise," I muttered.

"I've noticed that you're already more adept than half of your classmates at weaponizing your mutation," He continued. I'd _hoped_ so, since I was in "class" with a bunch of high school freshmen. "Not only that, but you instinctively react to protect others before yourself."

"What do you mean?"

"During training, I've seen you shield your teammates while you get caught in the line of fire. I've also seen you take out massive foes that the Danger Room has presented all on your own. But, despite the nature of your powers to be self-preserving, you struggle with keeping yourself secure."

I could tell at once it was in no form a compliment. I was failing at one of the most basic skills. Staying unharmed.

"It's not like I'm super unselfish or anything," I said awkwardly. "If I knew how to take care of myself, I would, but…it's…hard."

The Professor graced me with one of his wise and understanding smiles.

"This is not to say that you haven't been progressing. In fact, I have a proposal for you," I felt myself automatically sit up straighter. "Cerebro has detected a new mutant in New Orleans that has been causing a fair amount of…distress. It would be of great help to me if you join the team in retrieving her, as you could subdue her more effectively than I."

"More effectively than you? Are you trying to butter me up, Prof?" I smirked.

"Well…yes, and no. I'm unfortunately needed elsewhere, and cannot partake in this particular mission. I predict the new mutant will present a low threat, and thus could be the perfect opportunity to practice safely executing your powers," he chuckled gently. "You, Kitty, Jamie, and Scott would leave tonight."

A small team for a small case. How hard could it possibly be? If it were me out there, I'd be grateful to be scooped up. I _was_ grateful to have been scooped up.

"Professor?" I asked quietly. "How do you choose? You know…how do you choose who to save?"

I'd been ready for him to enter my mind, and so I put up my shield more expertly this time. He felt my revolt and backed off, taking a deep breath.

"If I could take in every lost mutant from the human world, I would. But then, there would be an 'us' and a 'them'. That's not what I want. People come here to learn how to control their powers so they can return to society in confidence. Though, special circumstances are taken into consideration…it's a school, first and foremost. Not a refugee camp."

The "But, why?" was lost on my lips. Something about the glint in his eyes kept me from pressing the subject.

That afternoon, I was staring out my bedroom window at the wide grounds. It had snowed the night before, and the expanse looked like a winter wonderland, completed by the students building forts and snowpeople below. The sound of the door opening and closing ripped me out of my zoned-out state. I felt Jamie stick one earbud against my face, and I looked up in confusion as he held up a tiny white square.

"Found an iPod Nano in one of the electronics bins," He grinned. "Do they even still make these anymore?"

"Doubtful," I returned his smile and fitted the earbud. Enrique Iglesias' "Hero" began playing and I almost choked on my laughter. "What is this, a playlist in honor of our first mission?"

"Yep. I figured we could use some pumping up."

I took the device from his hands and scrolled through the songs he'd downloaded.

"This is just 24 different covers of 'Hero'," I feigned dramatic disappointment. "Where's the Lady Gaga?"

"Hey, I wanted it to have a theme!" Jamie messed up my hair before kissing it, then took his iPod back. "Besides, I wanted to see how many times Scott could listen to that song before losing his shit."

"If you think he's going to let you DJ on the plane, you've got another thing coming," I said. He went to go sit on the bed, but I remained at the window. "You nervous?"

"A bit, yeah," He admitted. "Though it's not like we're being sent to fight Galactus, or anything. You?"

"A bit."

"Just…watch out for yourself. Take it slow. Stay out of harm's way unless absolutely necessary."

"I'm pregnant, not crippled," I rolled my eyes and returned them to the scene below. Something was happening. Three figures were walking up the path towards the front door, looking surprisingly ominous. "Hey, are we expecting guests?" I asked. Jamie joined me and peered out at the visitors. We couldn't make out much about them, but the long cape billowing behind their leader was enough to assume they weren't Girl Scouts.

Jamie and I exchanged a look, then ran out of the room and down the stairs to get a better look. Apparently, we weren't the only ones with the same blatant curiosity. Other students had come out of their room and were hanging around the stairwell, looking at the main foyer into which the guests had just entered.

Upon closer inspection, I recognized Magneto at once. His cape and helmet combo had become something of a symbol of resistance among many mutants. He was an internationally known "villain", but never declared a public enemy because he was adept at staying unconnected to the trouble he caused. Still, he wasn't exactly a beacon of goodwill to man.

The woman next to him sent a shiver down my spine, but not in a way that made me dislike her. She had texturized dark blue skin and slicked back orange hair. Her eyes reminded me of reptiles', but she did not look cold-blooded.

Finally there was a short, squat man with olive skin that made him look perpetually nauseous. His eyes met mine and I felt sick to my stomach. He did not look away no matter how long I stared him down. Him, I immediately didn't like.

They stood in front of the door, surveying the students that had come to ogle them. Logan appeared with the Professor before the awkward silence could continue.

"Erik," The Professor wheeled between the sinister-looking group and the eavesdroppers on the stairs.

"The hell are you doin' here?" barked Wolverine.

"Still hotheaded as ever, Logan?" Magneto's lips curled into a smile. "Now, surely, is the time for all of us to be…getting along."

"Yeah, because that's worked so well in the past," Logan muttered, but Charles held up a hand to quiet him.

"If you're here to discuss what I think you're here to discuss, let us retreat somewhere more private."

"Why, Charles? Look at how many bright faces you're keeping under a rock," He scanned the room, and as his eyes landed on each student, I could feel their static quicken. "This is war. No need to beat around the bush. The humans have made their move, and we must make ours."

"As I've told you time and time again, we have to protect what we have," said the Professor through gritted teeth.

Magneto's eyes stopped on me and Jamie. I wasn't expecting him to take a few steps toward us, but I felt frozen in place.

"Certainly," He said, raising an eyebrow. "But... Charles, are these not the two young mutants who escaped imprisonment? I saw them on the news. Surely they understand the importance of taking action against injustice. Tell me, what do you two think of Trask's cure legislation?"

I didn't respond, but Jamie beside me seemed to become empowered by the question.

"I think it's an outright attack against mutantkind," He said simply. Magneto smiled.

"At least some of you have some sense."

"I must ask you to leave my students out of this," The Professor came forward. "If you wish to talk current affairs, join me in my office."

"Very well."

The four left the room, the short man never letting his bulging eyes leave me until they were out of sight. I ran down the rest of the stairs to try and catch Logan, but he slipped away through the crowd that had resumed moving like someone had pressed "play".

That evening, Jamie and I were back on the quin-jet for the first time since our arrival. Scott piloted quietly, dodging my questions about the meeting with Magneto. Kitty, however, was more inclined to explain.

"I wasn't there," she said, fiddling with her seatbelt. "But I'm sure the Brotherhood sought an alliance to bring down Trask."

"And Professor X said 'no'?" Jamie seemed baffled. "Why?"

"Their idea of 'bringing down' unfortunately usually means breaking the law ten times over," Scott murmured from the front of the plane.

"You think they want to kill Trask," I said.

"I wouldn't put it past them," Kitty shrugged. "They're not exactly the good guys."

Jamie did not look at all convinced, but he said nothing.

We touched down in a low-populated part of New Orleans that was made up of tall ramshackle buildings and a waterscape. Our destination was a church that looked long abandoned. As we stalked towards it, I could feel the heat emanating from the stone before I could see its source. Scott reached towards the metal door handle, pulled, and immediately leapt back, shaking his hand in pain.

"It's burning."

Jamie soothed Scott's reddening hand with a quick blast of cold, then did the same to the handle. It froze, but melted in a matter of seconds. Kitty moved to go in, but Scott held her back.

"If there's a fire in there, I don't want you getting stuck." With a tilt of his rose quartz glasses, he optic-blasted a hole in the door, big enough to see through but not enough to harm anyone standing behind it. Instantly, a substance that could only have been described as boiling lava, seeped out onto the church steps. We all jumped backwards to avoid the molten touch.

Jamie stepped forward, cooling the liquid through his feet.

"Follow me, then, I guess." And we did. The inside of the church looked like a graphic depiction of hell. Wooden pews were burned up, and the faces of wax statues had been melted. It felt like we were standing in the mouth of a volcano, giving a whole new meaning to the game "the floor is lava". We stood at the front on a patch of cooled molten rock and surveyed the area.

"We're not here to hurt you!" Scott called out, his voice echoing against the tall, arched ceiling. "Come on out, and we can talk."

I felt a spark in the front row of the pews.

"She's over there," I whispered. "But she's in distress, so I wouldn't—"

Before I could issue a warning, a girl with a sweaty face and straight brown hair popped up from behind the pew. Standing on top of the back, she twisted her hands in a frenzy, and the pool of lava before us turned into a large tidal wave.

Jamie immediately sent every ounce of cold he had in him at the wave, but it wasn't enough. The girl had ducked down again but I could still feel her. If only I could get a clearer grasp, I could soothe that tangled mess of vibrations in her brain. Her trip-up was when she poked her head up to look at us, and I snatched the opportunity. She fell asleep all too easily; she must have been exhausted. The wave subsided and the magma lay still.

We cautiously approached the sleeping girl and saw that she was covered in bruises and burns. Jamie put a cold hand on her forehead and her eyes fluttered open. I kept her neural activity slow enough so she wouldn't have the energy to jump into attack mode again.

"Hey," Kitty knelt down beside her. "It's okay. We're going to take you somewhere safe. You don't have to run anymore. Can you tell us your name?"

"A-Amara," the girl whispered before she closed her eyes again, this time of her own will. At least she was in good enough shape to remember who she was.

Scott carried her back to the ship and we followed in silence. We'd been briefed on her prior to the trip. She had no family. A runaway from an orphanage in Brazil. Hunted by Sentinel Services. Lay waste to multiple stores and buildings in an attempt to stay fed and alive. Amara Aquilla, a girl alone. A girl like so many others out there, but who was just destructive enough to get noticed and quick enough to stay uncaptured. She'd been lucky. Like me.

"You did well, you two" Scott whispered to us as he caught me and Jamie standing over her on the plane. I wasn't sure what "well" meant, but I accepted the praise with a quiet nod.

I didn't see much of the new student in the days that followed. She was recovering in the infirmary and likely being bombarded with strangers and new information. I didn't want to disturb her further with my intrigue for her backstory.

The world outside moved like it was on a different time stream, news reaching us through the safe barriers of television and whispers. It felt, for a while, as though anything beyond the mansion was fiction. Until, one special broadcast.

It was a stroke of cruel happenstance that Jamie and I happened to be in the sitting room, playing chess in front of the television, when it happened.

" _In other news,_ _pro-sentinel reformists are buzzing about the recent reveal of the whereabouts of fugitives Maggie Addams and Jamie Churchill,"_ A blonde woman said in an apathetic tone.

The silver queen slipped from my hand and fell to the floor. Everyone in the room stopped what they were doing and looked between us and the screen.

 _"An anonymous source divulged last night that the two may be currently residing at none other than Professor Charles Xavier's illusive institute. Kieran Trask publicly called Xavier a 'hypocrite' for hiding wanted criminals at a place he claims to be for educating a better generation of mutants. Outrage against the school has been sparked, while other anti-cure protesters see this as a sign of hope that the X-Men are fighting against the new Sentinel legislation. Since the school is a SHIELD protected property, American law enforcers have yet to negotiate the legal standing of the two convicts."_

Before I could process what was happening, Jamie and I were running through the mansion at top speed. He was ahead of me, and didn't knock when we reached Xavier's grand office door. Scott and Emma had beat us to the punch, standing in front of the Professor's desk while the wheelchaired man pressed his hands to his lips.

"What…what do we do?" Jamie panted, not caring what he may have just interrupted. The Professor game him a grim look.

"We wait."

We didn't sleep that night. Perhaps someone would come to cart of off to a detention center in the morning. Perhaps we'd have to fight. Perhaps we should have been running away, but Scott had told us the safest place for us was still the school. The more that sentiment was repeated, the less real it felt.

"Maggie," Jamie whispered in the dark. "It had to be someone inside the mansion who turned us in."

"Don't think like that," I said softly. "We have a limited number of people we can trust in the world, let's not ruin that. It might have just been a loudmouthed student. Or…"

"Or someone wanted us to be found."

I rolled away, facing my back to him. As logical as it seemed, I didn't want to believe that the first home I'd had in so long was a sham. Wordlessly, I slid out of bed and put my shoes on.

"I'm going for a walk," I muttered.

"I'll come with you."

"No. I want some time alone."

He didn't argue, and I left him watching me from the moonlit sheets with a worried, tired expression. I wandered downstairs, calm in the fact that the majority of the house was asleep. I knew one person wouldn't be, though. I found Logan in the kitchen where I had first met him. He regarded me with as much of a sympathetic jerk of his head as he could muster and chugged his beer to avoid talking. I leaned across the counter, forcing him to look me in the eye.

"I want you to train me," I said clearly. "I want you to _really_ train me, not this watered down yoga class I've been getting. If I'm gonna be a kid on the lam, I want to be prepared. And you're going to help me."

Wolverine continued drinking through my entire proposal until he'd drained the can to the last drop. He crunched it up effortlessly with a satisfying noise of squishing aluminum, then slammed it on the table.

"Okay."

He stood up, and we walked taciturnly to the empty Danger Room.


	6. The X-Men (IV)-Desperate

The sun was already threatening to rise by the time I got back to bed. I knew Logan would be a tough coach, which was partially why I chose him, but my body was not at all happy with my choices. The hours had been filled with a repetition that was still lingering in my mind. Dodge. Deflect. Protect. Aim. Shoot. Start over. I'd ended with a minor scratch on my arm and the promise of another round the next night. It had been more action I'd seen since the standoff with the police, and I was grateful. I was going to learn my limits if it killed me. Though, hopefully, it wouldn't.

I couldn't fall asleep in the forty-five minutes I had under the sheets before Jamie woke up and started getting dressed. I had another fifteen of silence before a familiar voice blared in my head.

 _Jamie. Maggie. My office, when you're ready_.

I opened one eye and squinted at Jamie, who was smiling at me sympathetically as he buttoned his shirt.

"Ms. Addams to the principal's office," He joked, coming back to the bed to roll me over. I groaned and pulled the blanket over my head. "Hey, not my fault you stayed out all night." A pause, before, "You going to tell me where you were?"

"Training," I said, muffled under the covers. "Logan has late night access to the danger room." Jamie nodded. I emerged just slightly, and could see he was trying to look understanding, but not entirely succeeding.

"Logan's not exactly who I like to imagine you facing off with in the dead of night," He said, wiping his glasses.

"You don't like him? Or you don't trust him?"

"Both."

I laughed and kissed his elbow, which was hovering in front of my face.

"You're just jealous because you're not the resident bad boy in this place," I said as affectionately as I could. Still looking unconvinced, he used the opportunity to pull me up from the bed.

"Come on," He nagged, transforming back to his goofy-self. "We better get down there. Wouldn't want _detention_ …"

"Or expulsion…" I muttered.

The Professor was not alone in his office. The man standing by his desk was wearing a dapper suit and glasses that did very little to disguise his blatant abnormality. Blue fur covered every inch of what should have been skin, and in lieu of hair was a mane. He looked like a mystical lion. My heart skipped when I saw him; not just because he was a fascinating looking mutant, but because I recognized him.

Xavier bore a grave look, but greeted us with his usual charm.

"Ah, here they are," He said kindly to the room. "I hope you managed to sleep well." He knew neither of us had. "There's someone I'd like you to meet," He gestured to the fuzzy man at his side. "This is Doctor Henry—"

"McCoy," I blurted, stepping forward to shake his hand. "I know who you are." Embarrassed at the surprise I'd caused him, I stumbled through my explanation. "I mean, I uh, in college, I read a ton of your articles. Your work on global mutant anthropology and biochemistry is unparalleled. Not to mention what you've done in governments worldwide to negotiate mutant rights."

" _Nerd,_ " Jamie coughed unsubtly, but McCoy looked somewhat impressed.

"Call me Hank. I don't think I've ever had a fan before," He grinned, revealing two gleaming fangs among his row of perfect teeth. "Nice to know all that stuff doesn't go unnoticed. From the sound of it, you two dabbled in some activism yourselves?"

Jamie and I tried not to look at each other.

"Sure, if you want to put it like that," Jamie muttered.

Hank nodded.

"Your case isn't uncommon. These days, when people show up to protest, things get ugly more often than not. It's one of the main ways they're pipelining mutants into Sentinel detention centers down south."

"It's the closest they can get to just rounding us up off the streets," I grumbled.

"Exactly," replied Hank. "No one's denying they're coming down hard with mutant regulation. But that means all eyes are on us. And you two…you've sparked some controversy."

"Cut to the chase, Doc. What are you going to do with us?" Jamie had taken to regarding the blue man as an informal bailiff—we couldn't shake the feeling that he was there to cart us off.

"Dr. McCoy is here as a favor to me," The Professor ebbed in, sensing our mistrust. "He has already spoken with SHIELD agents who are trying to dilute the situation, and can shed some light on the details of your case."

"As you are both still residents of Maryland, by law you are required to stand trial there," Hank explained. "They have you on charges of resisting arrest, assault, and armed robbery."

" _Armed_ ," I scoffed under my breath. "We didn't threaten anyone." Jamie gave me a "shut-up" nudge.

"Mutations are weapons, that's just the way the world views us," continued Hank. "Since registration was enacted, that tension has only gotten worse. But, listen, that was the bad news. It'll be a fair trial. And you'll be able to remain at the X-Mansion under house arrest until the date."

"How can we be promised a fair trial? When has _any_ convicted mutant been given a fair trial?" I didn't understand how he could be so bright-sided. Hank sighed.

"It was like pulling toenails to even get the permission to keep you here, but the opposition isn't completely uncooperative. I swear to you both, this is the best option. I implore you to take it."

"Oh, so we have the choice?" Jamie flared up.

"It's comply, or the Sentinels will come straight for you," Hank said plainly. "It would jeopardize the other students, and land the two of you in a cell to await the cure. This way, there's hope."

"No," Jamie looked between Hank and the Professor in horror. "No way. A trial only buys us time until the inevitable. I don't know if you know this, Furry face, but we are _guilty_. We go in there, we don't come back out."

"If you just listen—"

"I've heard enough. Your plan of action is to make us pawns in your peace offering with the government. You know we don't stand a chance."

"Jamie," Xavier sighed. "Calm down."

"Professor, couldn't you just sway the jury?" I piped up. "Everyone in that courtroom will already be biased against us, it's not like it would be wrong to use our advantage. "

Xavier shifted uncomfortably in his chair.

"Telepaths will be banned from the room," He admitted softly. "I agreed to their conditions. We want to come out of this looking _good_."

"We will help you get through the trial," Hank tried again. "We're doing everything in our power to ensure fair play. This won't just ease _their_ minds by proving our community is willing to work together. I suspect that this case will go viral and lead to stronger support for mutant rights. You'll be the shining example of what is wrong with the system."

"Right, while we get the short end of that stick," Jamie growled.

"I won't sugar coat it," said Hank. "It'll be tricky. But not impossible. Sympathy, above all else, works."

He looked directly at me while he said it. I wondered if he knew. I crossed my arms in front of my chest.

"How long have we got?" I asked.

"Two weeks."

Soon. Way too soon. Didn't cases usually take years to go to trial? I was suddenly daunted at the prospect of how high-profile our story had become. We were big news. No longer your average mutant runaways.

"Xavier," Jamie said. "Please. Is there nothing we can do?"

"This is for the best."

"So much for that 'protection' bullshit, huh?" Jamie turned on his heel and stormed from the room before I could even call out. He didn't slam the door behind him, like a gentleman, but he left a cold air in his wake.

I looked between the two men, who were staring gravely at the shut door as though Jamie's absence was an omen.

"We owe you everything," I said to Xavier. "Jamie knows that. We'll do whatever you say." The Professor hardly looked reassured, but he nodded. Before the conversation could get any more awkward, I turned to leave, thinking I could still catch up to Jamie.

When I'd reached the hall, I was about to shut the door behind me, but a blue hand held it open. Dr. McCoy stepped out with me, closing the door himself and killing the light that had come from the office. He gave me a brusque smile and held out a small white card.

"If you need to reach me in the coming days," He explained. I looked at the finely printed phone number and name. "I'm sorry I couldn't be of more help."

"N-no," I stammered. "Really, I've been counting my blessings. I thought we were done for, and then you show up saying we stand a chance. I'm grateful."

"Sometimes I like to be an optimist," Hank pushed his spectacles further up his cat-like nose. "It happens so rarely these days."

"I know the feeling."

I slipped the card into my jeans' pocket, and Hank stuck out his hand again for me to shake. I took it, and realized I'd been trembling.

"Try not to panic," He advised. "I'm no lawyer, but I know someone who is, and he owes me a favor."

"Sure you want to waste that favor on us?" I raised my eyebrows. That this man was so willing to do so much for people he'd just met seemed…uncanny.

"The Professor trusts you two. You've already been a help, bringing in that new mutant from New Orleans. Well, I trust _him_. And I trust the cause. If things go well, you and Mr. Church are not the only ones who will benefit."

"God, I hope that means change is coming," I said. "Will I see you at the trial?"

"Sitting right up front." It was a comforting thought. Someone was on my side. He grinned. "Do stay in touch until then. For words to the wise, or just for consolation." He glanced at his watch. "Better be off, I'm running late already. It was nice to meet you, Maggie."

"You, too."

I leaned against the wall to let him pass, and watched as he practically pranced down the hall with ape-like feet. I'd never met someone who instilled so much damn hope in me. If he could make it in this world, anyone could.

I didn't see Jamie for the rest of the afternoon. He wasn't in our room, or even in the computer lab with Kitty. I ultimately accepted that he needed to blow off steam in solitude, as I had the night before.

It was a gorgeous day, something I hadn't been able to say truthfully in a while. The back patio wasn't as crowded as I expected when I stepped out into the sunshine. It did resemble your average campus quad with a few kids playing hacky sack and a few more lounging in the garden.

I spotted a familiar wave of brown hair, much cleaner than the first time I'd seen it. Amara, apparently, had been near silent since her arrival. She would only respond to questions with monosyllables, but otherwise I'd heard she was "adjusting". She had already begun to attend classes. I hadn't spoken to her since that night in New Orleans, but I'd caught her eye in the hall a few times and smiled. Now, she was sitting alone on the patio steps and staring at the huge stretch of back yard, with a book resting on her lap.

I slid down next to her.

"Hey," I said. "Remember me?"

She gave me a side glance and a single nod.

"Whatcha reading?" I asked. I must have been more starving for social interaction than I thought. She held up the book. The cover read, _The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes_. "Is that for class?"

She shook her head.

"Good," I leaned back on my hands. "I was always terrible at doing assigned readings. Reading should only be for pleasure."

A moment of silence. A kicky bag landed in front of us and we watched as a punk kid ran up to collect it with a cheeky grin.

"So," I tried again to strike up a conversation that would interest her. "You doing alright?"

Amara shrugged.

"Yeah. I feel," I said.

Another pause before she turned her head towards me.

"You?" She spoke in a normal, teenage voice. I realized that she probably hadn't been completely out of the loop on my current predicament. Jamie and I were the stars of the rumor mill among the students.

I was too surprised that she actually wanted to know something about me to lie.

"I'm…I dunno. Alive, I guess," I smirked. She sighed and leaned back so that we were almost shoulder to shoulder.

"Same," she replied.

We sat absorbing the sunlight and each other's undemanding company for a few minutes before I saw Jamie appear from around the side of the mansion. He seemed in fairly good emotional-shape, but when he approached me and Amara, he had an off look in his eyes.

"Hey," He said the second he got within earshot. "Can we talk?"

"Yeah, of course," I said, wary of his urgency.

"Somewhere private," He specified. With regard to Amara he added, "No offense." The girl just shrugged again and opened her book.

I hadn't even fully stood up yet before Jamie had taken my hand was leading me quickly to the garden shed. His grasp was tighter than I'd ever known it to be. He looked around shadily before swinging open the wooden shed door and shutting us both in the cramped space.

"Jamie," I panted. Keeping up with him had been a struggle. "What's-?"

He interrupted my confusion with a forceful kiss that pushed me up against the cobwebby wall. My eyes widened in surprise, but immediately I shut them tight as I sank into his lips. His fingers ran up and under my shirt, while his other hand was already skimming the waistband of my jeans. I felt around for the bottom of his jacket until my own hands reached the bare skin of his back. It was smooth and warm and…suddenly wrong. It wasn't his skin anymore. These weren't his lips. I flipped my eyes open and ripped myself away.

There, in front of me, was not Jamie, but the blue woman from the Brotherhood, looking like a sly snake who had just captured her prey. I swallowed my scream somehow, but stumbled backwards, knocking over a few rakes. Her hands were still on me, keeping me from falling over, all the while watching me with a lecherous smile. When I was steadied again, I knocked her arms away from my body.

"What—what the hell?!" I sputtered.

"I had to get you alone," The woman stepped back to give me space, leaning on the wall across from me with her arms folded across her chest. All traces of Jamie, even his clothes, had vanished.

"Why, to kill me? Or were you just looking for a make-out sesh?"

She laughed like she didn't really think it was funny, and tried to change her reptile expression into a kinder one.

"Mystique," She introduced herself with an odd air of politeness. "I came by the mansion with Erik and Toad the other day?"

"I remember," I said stiffly.

"I didn't mean to scare you," Mystique continued, though she certainly looked pleased by the fact that she had. "I'm technically not allowed on school grounds, so this was the quickest way to bring you away from prying eyes."

A frightening thought struck me.

"Where's Jamie?" The image of him tied up in a closet somewhere crossed my mind.

"Beats me," she sighed. "I went looking for him first, actually." So I wasn't even her first choice?

"You sure know how to make a lady feel special," I muttered. "So, what exactly can I do for you?"

"I'm more here to talk about what _I_ can do for _you_ ," She said playfully, brushing a spider off of her shoulder. "We know about the trial. It's a shame Xavier could only keep you safe for—what, a month?"

"Who's 'we'?"

"The Brotherhood of Mutants. A resistance to the suffocating homo-sapien agenda. Unlike the X-Idiots, we don't hide from the people who need us."

"And you've all just suddenly invested in our charity case?" I refused to become un-suspicious.

"'Charity' isn't what we had in mind," She said carefully. "We can help. More than that, in fact. We can guarantee you and your partner get off scot-free."

"How?"

"Don't ask don't tell. All we want in return, is a pledge of loyalty to the Brotherhood."

I took a moment to comprehend the offer.

"So, we join you…in return for immunity?"

"Yep."

"And what do you want with us?" I wondered aloud. "We're nobodies."

"Come on," Mystique cut in, impatiently. "Modesty isn't cute. We heard what you and Jamie did in New Orleans. We saw your escape. Your robberies. This war needs as many people on the _right_ side as we can get," She saw me shiver at the word _war_. "Consider this: Would you rather be Xavier's trophy on the shelf? Or actually doing something to help?"

She was winning me over, and I knew it.

"You hurt people," I whispered.

"Only if they hurt us. The time for passive mutants is over. If you're not against the problem, you're a part of it."

I bit my lip, since every fiber of my being felt she was right but hated to admit it. Mystique gave a satisfied smile and moved towards

"Talk to Jamie. Take the rest of the week. I'll find you when I need an answer," She opened the door, and cocked her head to look at me one last time. "And you could try using a bit more tongue. When you kiss."

I made a disgruntled sound as she slipped out onto the sunny lawn and left me alone in the shadows. I felt like a stupid pledge for two mutant fraternities. Except both of them only wanted me for my body. I knew recruits were scarce, and times were desperate…but just how desperate was I?


	7. The X-Men (V)-A Choice

"She said WHAT?"

I had found Jamie curled in a hammock at the far edge of the estate. Students rarely hung out there because of the poison ivy and deer ticks creeping along the start of the surrounding forests. I tended to feel similarly, but I eventually realized it was where the crybaby would have gone to seek solace. I scooched him over to make room, and we sat with our butts squeezed together by the itchy fabric and dangled our bare feet over the edge.

"They can help us," I mumbled, rocking us back and forth.

"If we help them," Jamie added, to prove he'd been listening.

"Yeah."

"Do what?

"Dunno."

We were quiet for a moment, watching small figures in the distance kick a soccer ball. It was too normal a scene to be talking about something so doom-laden.

"Whatever it is," I said. "It probably isn't legal."

"Neither should the cure requirement, but here we are," Jamie sighed, reaching his arm around me."

"I know it's not fair, but…"

"But what?" He cut me off. "Sometimes you have to fight 'not-fair' with 'not-fair'."

"What are you saying?" I tilted my head back to look at him, but couldn't make out his expression.

"It's just…I know everyone here says they're villains," He said. "Still, I'm in no position to turn down the _one_ offer we've gotten for salvation."

"Professor X-"

"Won't do a damn thing if it makes his school look bad. You heard him."

"They took us in." My throat felt tight, like I was fighting a losing battle. "Or did you forget?"

"Of course not! But there's a time for good manners and there's a time for surviving. As much as they say they care, I've got a feeling they'd be just as happy making martyrs out of us."

I thought back to what Dr. McCoy had said about how our story could spark revolution. We didn't have to be acquitted for that to happen. In fact, a communal outrage at a cruel prison sentence would be more beneficial to the cause than getting our asses off the line. We'd make headlines. Incite riots.

"And there's one little detail we keep avoiding," Jamie dropped his voice, even though there was no one close enough to hear. "Someone turned us in."

"You still think it was one of the X-Men?" He hadn't said it outright, but I knew it had been on his mind since our location became mass-media fodder. "Look, I love being skeptical as much as the next person, but these _are_ the good guys."

"Right," Jamie shook his head. "And that used to mean something to me. Now, I'm not sure."

I fell silent and tried to relish in our tiny patch of calm before the storm.

* * *

We didn't talk about it for the rest of the day. The rest of _two_ days, in fact. We had the week to think about our decision, and Jamie and I had our own moral high grounds to wrestle with. That didn't mean I wasn't thinking about it. Constantly. I dialed the number Hank had given me no more than 24 hours after I'd last seen him. He was reassuring, like he said he would be.

"I have another question," I asked into the kitchen phone receiver, after he gave me a rundown of what he knew about the trial.

"Ask away," said the tempered voice.

"It's about me."

He chuckled warmly.

"I've known you for a day, Miss Addams, I'm not sure I'm an expert in that area."

"I meant my mutation," I said.

"Ah."

There was an uncomfortable pause while I swallowed dryly.

"If…if I'm given the serum. If it all goes wrong, we lose the trial. What happens to me? I mean, is it like depression and anxiety where the symptoms don't completely go away, or will I feel none of it after-? Because," I took a breath. "It's not just one part of me. It's not like a forked tongue or super strength. It's so much of my mind and body that I don't know what will be left of me."

"What happened to having hope?" He said too quickly.

"Please," I whispered. "Just tell me."

His sigh crackled the connection.

"The serum…in theory, reformats the mutated DNA. Any traits related to the affected strands would disappear. That is _, if_ it works perfectly. Which, I have my doubts."

"But it's already worked," I said, thinking back to the first release of the serum in back when I was just a kid.

"It's eliminated domineering characteristics in test subjects thus far, yes," He replied. "But no one knows how long this streamlined version lasts. It was a very short trial period. It could be permanent…it could not."

"Well," I bit the inside of my cheek. "Sorry if I can't help looking at this like a glass-half-empty"

"Not that I blame you," the Doc said with a sigh. "From what I've heard from Charles, though, your variations are highly complex. When this is all over and you're cleared, I'd be grateful for the opportunity to learn more."

I appreciated that he said _when_ instead of _if._

"I'm all for being studied," I forced a little laugh. "Thanks."

That night, I told Jamie that I wanted to trust the X-Men for a little longer. He seemed dubious, but agreed not to jump to any conclusions. We lay in bed awake without speaking. It wasn't the first night we'd spent that way, but I felt his fear through the sheets.

The next evening, we had a surprise visitor.

Kitty and I were flipping through trash TV channels when I was once again summoned to the Professor's office, this time by Headmaster Frost since Xavier was away. She was nowhere near as warm as the professor, but for that I felt it was easier to know where I stood with her. Not that I had seen much of her since my first week. Jamie was already inside, seated across from Frost, who looked off-putting at Xavier's desk. In the chair beside him, I could make out the back of a brown-haired head and a support cane draped over the edge. Whoever our guest was, he must have been visually impaired.

"Maggie, pull up that extra chair," Emma Frost commanded, gesturing to the wooden seat by the door as I walked in. I scooted it over to the others and got a good look at the mystery man. He had Stevie Wonder-like rose tinted sunglasses and a stubbly chin. Even with his eyes hidden, he looked worn, but alert. He turned in my direction at the sound of my approach and gave a nod and a smile.

"Matthew Murdock, Maggie Addams," Emma introduced with an airy wave of her hand. "I'll let the three of you talk in private in a minute, but first I want to make our stance clear. The school took you in out of duty, not charity. We were protecting the world from you, not the other way around. We were not harboring fugitives, but acting as an intermediate correctional facility. That's the story we are presenting, for both your sake and ours."

Jamie and I looked at each other.

"Ms. Frost," Murdock spoke in a surprisingly silky voice. "If I could just explain to my clients _why_ —"

"Clients?" I interrupted without thinking.

"Yeah. Meet our fancy lawyer from New York," Jamie said.

The man didn't look like a bigshot. In fact, he seemed almost humble, a stereotype I hadn't ever associated with attorneys.

Emma was still looking at Mr. Murdock, and I wondered what she was finding in his mind. After a moment, she nodded curtly and stood up.

"Listen to him," She advised us. "He knows what he's doing. Heard of Wilson Fisk?" The name sounded familiar, but I couldn't place it. "This man put him behind bars, years back. He's here to help."

It sounded like she thought Jamie and I were going to bully this guy we'd just met, but I tried not to seem patronized when I looked her in the eye and smiled. She was satisfied, and left us alone.

The moment she was gone, Mr. Murdock stood up and leaned his back against the desk to face us. Not that he could see, but it did make him look more powerful, somehow.

"So," He dove right in. "Your case files were pretty packed. Weaponized assault, evading arrest, multiple shoplifting charges, a few back robberies…"

"Just…trying to survive," Jamie muttered.

"I know. So are plenty of people who break the law. Unfortunately, it's not a strong enough spin. As much as Frost scares me, she's got a point. If we play it like your months here were comparable to jail time, you're likely to get a reduced sentence."

"A 'reduced sentence' doesn't include avoiding the cure, though, does it?" I asked.

"Well, no, but if we can prove you're no threat, they may be willing to negotiate a continued house arrest here at the mansion. It's a long shot, but worth a try," His tone was neither confident nor unsure.

"How do we do that?" scoffed Jamie. "They thought we were a threat for attending a public protest, you really think their perception's gonna change _now_?

"Look, you're in deep shit," Murdock stated. "No getting around that. But we have some advantages, here. Sentinel Services isn't very popular yet. There are still a lot of ethical codes they haven't lived up to. The best tactic is to treat this as a case of human indecency, and present your work for the X-Men as a form of community service to alleviate your smaller charges."

He made it sound so easy. Then again, that was his job.

"Dr. McCoy asked you to help us, right?" I said slowly. "Why are you…?"

He smiled for the first time.

"I'm just trying to make things right. The X-Men were left out of the Sokovia accords for good reason. Your kind shouldn't be suffering for the mistakes of other super-humans. I want to help. It's a situation dear to my heart, the superhuman struggle."

"But you can't promise our exoneration, can you?"

"…No."

There was a brief silence in which all of us seemed to hold our breath. Mr. Murdock folded up his walking cane and unfolded it again before he continued.

"If you follow my lead, keep your heads down, and look innocent enough, things can go better than you might expect. The other option…is taking the plea bargain you've been offered."

"What?" My eyes widened.

"7 years in a detention center if you confess."

"That…sucks," Jamie said.

"It's that or 20 to life on a conviction," said Murdock. "It's a pretty big gamble."

"We'll take our chances," growled Jamie.

"I thought you would say that," He replied with a sad smile. "Let's get to work."

It was only a few hours, but it felt like it took us days to go over every last detail of the past year with the perfect stranger. I didn't leave feeling any more hopeful than when we first walked in. If anything, I felt that any objective jury would lock us up in a heartbeat. The things we'd done…they weren't "good".

It was the end of the week before we knew it. Mystique's deadline was about to come crashing down on us, and before bed one night, Jamie took me in his arms with a forcefulness I'd never known from him before.

"Maggie," he whispered. "If hotshot-lawyer thinks we're a lost cause, we're done for."

"But—"

"I've made my choice. I'd take the brotherhood over losing my powers any day."

"I know you're scared. I get it," I gripped his shoulders.

"Are you _not_? What about our kid? You think they'll show her any mercy? Inject her with the cure the moment she's born?"

In the midst of all the uncertainty, we'd learned that I was without a doubt having a girl. I'd gotten to see a real doctor, too, out in Westchester. It was the first time we'd left campus, and I felt like a bear leaving a cave after a long winter. I'd seen her, in pixelated black and white. She was strange and unknown, but she was there. I hadn't even thought about her future yet.

"Maybe she'll be human," I suggested weakly.

"Don't say that."

I blinked and pulled back to look him in his frenzied blue eyes.

"What, are we against humans now?"

"They're against us," He said, a darkness crossing over his features.

"Stop it," I snapped. "You're not a bigot. You're not thinking straight."

"Maybe you should _stop_ thinking straight! God, Maggie, this is war! We need to stop pretending it isn't if we want to survive," He was pleading with me now.

"We don't know what the brotherhood wants with us," I said. "We could be at just as much risk running with that crowd over this one!"

"But we'd be free."

Free did sound good. I wasn't sure I knew what the word really felt like anymore, but I was convinced we hadn't reached it yet. We were still running, after all, even in our comfy room in a lofty mansion. I sucked in a breath and cupped his face in both my hands.

"I know it's our best shot. I _know_ that. But, can you blame me for wanting to believe in the heroes?" I said softly.

"Mystique promised us a _win_ ," He replied flatly. "The Professor promised a chance."

"Jamie, we don't even know what she's planning-"

"And I'd rather not know."

Jamie pulled me closer again, leaving just enough space for him to place his palm on the flat of my stomach.

"I want a better future for her. I can't make that happen behind bars."

He didn't need to say more. The schism within me was thinning, and I knew that even though I had a choice…I really didn't. I kissed him hard and we held each other while we didn't sleep.

* * *

The next morning, I found her in the form of the gardener. Her flash of golden eyes among the weeds were my signal. I stood a decent distance away, leaning into a hydrangea bush to smell the blooms.

"Okay," I whispered into the flower. I knew she could hear me. "Okay. Do whatever you need to do. Just get us out."

Mystique tipped the gardener's cap down further, but smiled a smile that didn't look right on the old man's face.


	8. The Trial

Whoever said courthouses are like hell on earth hadn't been to Maryland. The building looked practically like a castle, with turrets and columns stretching shadows across the stone steps. The architecture was about all I could appreciate, though. The second the doors of our tinted town car were opened, we were bombarded with flashing lights and screaming questions. It was hard to tell who the press were and who the cops were, because just about everyone in that crowd was reaching for us. I swallowed, feeling the lump press against the inhibitor collar around my neck.

This was definitely not the trial other mutants received, if any at all. No fancy cars, no celebrity welcomes. I felt almost guilty. Jamie seemed equally disgusted with the display, and gritted his teeth. In a blur, we were led into the building by a platoon of armed men. The only consolation was that Dr. McCoy and Mr. Murdock were bringing up the rear. It was just the two of them who had accompanied us from the Mansion. No Professor. No Emma Frost. Logan and Kitty hadn't even woken up to say goodbye, and I wondered if they'd been advised not to.

"What, is it a slow news day?" growled McCoy as he closed the door on some looming photographers.

"Saying we're not big news, Hank?" I tried to joke and received a small smile in return. It was all I could do not to start hyperventilating. I had never seen a ceiling so high.

Jamie shot me a half smile, too, which I had to assume was the equivalent of the hand squeeze he might've given me had our wrists not been tied behind our backs. The collars weren't enough. We were bound everywhere but our feet and mouths.

"Like the night we met," He'd reminded me with a smirk.

One relief was that without my powers, I didn't have to suffer through the storm of electromagnetic activity that was surrounding me as we waded through the crowd.

Murdock was more amused by the media infestation than Hank. I thought I even caught him grin when he heard one of the cameras go off. Strictly professional, though, he kept us moving. We were ushered down a hallway and to a metal door that looked fairly grotesque compared to the ornate style of the rest of the building. The officers fanned out on either side of the door, and one punched in a code to let us inside. Matt, Jamie, an officer, and I all went in, but Hank remained. I looked at him, panicked.

"I'll see you on the other side," The blue man said kindly. Before I could respond, the door was slammed in my face and the world went quiet.

More doors awaited us on the other side.

"Stick to what we discussed," Matt advised while the officer began unlocking two of the doors. "The truth. It's what'll give you the most power. No one can take it from you."

Jamie and I stayed silent.

"They're going to try to spin it into something uglier than it is," continued Matt. "We won't let them. All we can do is expose the injustices of what happened at the protest, and…"

"Hope for the best?" said Jamie weakly.

"Yeah. That." The lawyer smiled and nodded.

Two doors lay open into two tiny rooms. I immediately understood what was happening.

"We can't even wait together?" I tried to keep my volume under control.

"The trial will start soon," Murdock assured me.

"Just like old times, eh, Mags?" Jamie winked at me. "They separate us, try to get us to talk. If we rat out the other, we get off free."

Matt tilted his head back, which I thought may have been the blind version of an eye-roll.

"Look, of course they're going to make you an offer for information. I don't expect either of you to take it. The separate rooms is a formality. Just…be good? For a little while? I'll be back." He seemed all too grateful to slip back out through the door.

The officer was waiting for us to enter our rooms. I looked at Jamie, who was biting his lip.

"If…" He started slowly. "If they say they'll clear your name, if you tell them what they want to know…Tell them."

"Shut-up," I said.

"No, listen to me. If they ask for the location of the mutant underground. If they ask you to blame me for everything. Do it."

"I think we've got a pretty good chance," I shrugged, and the officer, who was getting impatient, led me into my little holding cell.

"Maggie, I'm being serious."

"So am I." My optimism was nothing more than a coping mechanism. Not the worst one I could've resorted to.

Jamie peered in while he awaited the officer's escort into his neighboring room.

"You really think we can trust the Brotherhood?" He asked. "I know I said we should, but, you know…they're unpredictable."

"Maybe not."

Jamie scoffed while he was pushed out of view.

"Then you trust our lawyer?" He called.

"He's good. Justice is blind, after all," I replied, grateful the door was still open. I wondered if this last conversation was a display of sympathy from the officer. Like a last meal.

"God, I knew you were going to make some crack like that."

The final thing I heard was his laugh before my door clicked shut and all sound but my breath ceased.

Matt came in at some point with another man in a gray suit. They told me they'd lower my sentence if I told them about the mutants who escaped at the protest. I told them I wouldn't. Even if I would, I couldn't. I didn't even remember their faces anymore, but I prayed they had been some of the lucky ones. There was a lot of consolation in the fact that they still hadn't been found. I imagined they made it to Canada, and pushed the alternative out of my mind.

Then, it was time to go. Matt led Jamie and me out of our prisons and out one last door into possibly the largest courtroom I'd ever seen. It was just as grand, if not more, than its exterior. Placid faces filled every seat, eyes following us as we walked like a hundred haunted portraits.

I don't remember much of what happened next.

Jamie and I sat down next to each other. Murdock stood with one hand on the wooden table barricading us from the jury and the judge's stand, and the other on his walking cane.

I could make out something that sounded like, "Judge Renner presiding," and my feet lifted me up in a sea of mob mentality. I saw the billow of robes walk up to the front of the room. She looked directly at me as she twisted her gavel and adjusted her spectacles.

A flash of orange glittered against her once-brown irises.

And I knew we were saved.

* * *

"What? What did she say?" I was coming out of a fugue state, and Jamie was shaking me and holding me with uncuffed hands.

"Cleared!" He panted. "Of all charges!"

"All?" I repeated dully.

Behind me, mutterings had become audible, sounding like a chorus of locusts. _Not possible_ , I heard. _How can that be?_ Hissed another. I had been thinking the same things, though not in a disappointed manner. Hank was rushing towards us. Matt was attempting to guide us out the way we came, avoiding the glares of the many who had come to watch us fail. I glanced back up at the judge's stand, but she was nowhere to be seen.

Someone came to remove my collar, and the second it was unclasped, all the buzzing brains that had just been blank to me came crashing into my head. I pressed my hands against my ears and sank down into a crouch. Jamie bent down next to me, but I couldn't even hear the words he was saying over the din. He and Matt were trying to pull me to my feet.

 _Get control. Get it back together_. I had never _not_ had my powers before. The shock of going from nothing to something was painful, much like the very first time my powers manifested.

Eventually, the confusion passed and my body regained some sort of equilibrium. I allowed myself to be dragged into standing. Hank had his hand on my shoulder, steering me through the maze of people. I felt like we were in a warzone. It only got worse when we made it out of the courthouse.

The press had multiplied. Matt was not doing a good job of fending them off as we descended the steps.

"There was no admissible evidence," He answered someone's question in a rush. "Nothing beyond a reasonable doubt. My clients are as innocent as their verdict says." He was doing his best to hide it, but I knew he was equally confused about the results as the rest of us.

My heart was pounding in my throat. _What happens now? What now, what now, what now?_

Another black town car had pulled up front, doors already swinging open for us.

No one said anything for the moment after we piled onto the leather seats, just absorbed the silence while the courthouse of doom sank slowly out of view. I felt Jamie's pinkie on mine. Matt was still wrapping up his cane. Hank stared out the window.

"I suppose…congratulations," Matt said eventually, bemused.

"That whole damn trial didn't make any sense, and you know it, Murdock!" blurted Hank. "Something happened to change the judge's mind, and I can tell you it wasn't natural." He turned on me and Jamie. "What did you two do?"

I couldn't speak. I didn't want him angry with me before he had to be.

"I think you're about to get an answer," said Matt quietly as he felt the car begin to shake.

The car came to a halt as it turned onto an empty street, but it wasn't the brakes that had stopped us. It was none other than Magneto himself who stood in the center of the road, holding his hand out like an all-too-confident traffic cop.

Behind him stood the ugly Toad. Neither of them were smiling, the way I would've pictured a couple of villains after they had won. Quite the opposite, they looked ambivalent. As though they didn't _want_ to be the bearers of bad news.

Hank turned to look at me.

"You didn't," He whispered.

"We had to," I muttered.

"Did what?" Matt was confused, unable to see the faces of the mutants who had us cornered.

Hank put a hand on his face and sighed.

"They made a deal with the devil."

A knock on Hank's window made us all jump. Magneto was peering in and motioning for the window to be rolled down. He obliged.

"How was the trial?" The old man asked knowingly, scanning the inside of the car.

"Erik, if they find out there was mutant interference-!" Hank stifled his urge to yell. "We were supposed to do this _the right way_ ," He added in a hiss.

"It seems to me that your 'right way' involved putting two of your own kind on the front lines," said Magneto smoothly. He craned his neck to look at me and Jamie in the middle. "While I'm sure Charles would have appreciated your sacrifice for the sake of mutant/human relations, Jamie, Maggie, I have a feeling you would _not_ have been so pleased being locked up."

"They were aware of the risks," said Hank.

"Which is why they accepted our offer."

"They're not going with you," Hank stated firmly. "We're taking them back to the mansion, and—"

"Why don't you let them speak for themselves? After all, I never forced them into anything. We only wanted to help."

A car door opened. I watched Jamie reach over Matt out of the corner of my eye, and mutter 'excuse me' as he slid around him and out onto the pavement. Magneto stood up straight, cheered by the sudden display of loyalty. Jamie joined him on the same side of the car while I sat frozen on Hank's side.

"A deal's a deal," Jamie said, more to Hank than to anyone else. "You can't argue we wouldn't be here without them. Tell the Professor I say thanks for everything."

"Jamie, listen—"

"I've _been_ listening," Jamie's voice rose. "I'm not going to keep hiding with the X-Men while we're being killed out here. The Brotherhood has given us a second chance, and you can be damn sure I'm going to use it to do some actual good."

"Well said, son," Magneto clapped him on the shoulder. I wasn't sure if Jamie liked being called 'son', but if he was annoyed he didn't show it.

Next, the front car door opened. Our driver, a well-dressed man in a chauffeur cap, got out. I'd almost forgotten he was there.

"Not to rush this lovely moment," He said in Mystique's voice. She'd never left our side. "But we need to move in case sentinel services sweep the neighborhoods."

All eyes turned to me. But I had already made my choice. As I moved to exit the car, I felt a hairy hand on my wrist.

"Maggie…" warned Hank. His eyes were glinting with a plea that couldn't be successfully transformed into words. It didn't matter. I knew what he would say if he could.

"Did you ever think we could win this?" I asked him quietly. "Tell me the truth."

He pressed his lips together, refusing to give me the answer I wanted him to give. Gently, I put my hand on his.

"I'm sorry," I said. "And thank you."

He didn't try to protest further as Jamie helped pull me out of the car. Mystique, back in her real form, gave me a slight smile. Magneto was delighted.

"Yes, yes, thank you for dropping them off," with a flick of his hand, the car doors closed again. I heard Hank and Matt fumble with their respective locks, with no avail. "Just until we're on our way," Magneto explained.

We followed him down the street a ways, until he found a new car that piqued his interest. A spacious silver Toyota, unobtrusive and practical. He popped the locks, and in we went. Down the road, I could see Hank managing to exit the car and stare after us, but it was too late. Our engine was already rumbling. With Mystique in the driver's seat, Magneto sitting co-pilot, and Toad stuffed in the back with us, we began to roll away.

"I…we owe you our gratitude as well," Jamie was the first to speak, trying his best not to sound uncertain.

"You'll pay it back in due time," said Magneto airily. "At last, the real work can begin."

Real work. I'd been wondering how the Brotherhood would put us to use. So long as I wasn't sitting around, waiting for things to get better, I'd be happy. Somehow, I didn't think that would be a problem with this team.

"Where are we going now?" I asked tentatively.

Toad looked straight ahead, but wore a wide smile that suited his amphibious face.

"Home," He croaked.

Jamie and I looked at each other. Was that word supposed to mean something to us?


	9. The Brotherhood (I)

**A/N Hi! I'm sure this is all a bit confusing since it's a behind the scenes look at the Marvel Universe. Just to clear things up, this portion of the story is set a few years following Civil War, and pre-Infinity War (if you're going by film timeline). Again, though, I take canon events from the comics AND movies. Enjoy!**

 _Two Weeks Later_

It seemed like I hadn't fought on the side of the angels in over a lifetime. Rolling with the Brotherhood meant making some unethical choices, including, but not limited to: derailing a sentinel train car carrying mutant prisoners, destroying a shipment of government-grade power inhibitor devices, and robbing a Forever 21 (In my defense, I'd left all my clothes at the X-Mansion). And, despite what the police sirens said, I finally felt as though I was doing something _good_.

At least, that's what I kept telling myself for those first few weeks. Their makeshift headquarters was a shelled out commercial building off of a large freeway. Hiding in plain sight had kept them alive this far. It was more crowded than Xavier's school by a longshot, filled to just about every corner with runaway mutants whose powers proved to be of some use to head-honcho Magneto. Him, I had rarely seen since we were scooped up from the trial. He silently attended meetings led by the Toad, speaking only to veto or approve a plan. I soon realized Magneto and Mystique were the untouchables. They had personally assisted us when their mind was on recruitment, but once we were in, they could hardly be considered mentors or friends. We'd been brought in for one reason, and that was to serve as extra muscle on a mission that many in the building would gladly lay down their lives for.

The Hope Serum already had its first victims. The same day it was released, two detention centers administered the drug to their inhabitants under the nose of the media. Hundreds of mutants, gone in hours. Trask got nothing more than a slap on the wrist for giving the okay too soon, and he set the date for an official "Cure Ceremony" at the Danbury prison, where he could give a big speech before the detainees received their injections. It was revolting. And a perfect opportunity.

The plan wouldn't be simple. A mass breakout was the end goal, but we couldn't just waltz up and unlock some doors. They needed people out of the way at a moment's notice. They needed walls broken. They needed agents with experience flying under the radar. So far, the leaders had only used Jamie and me for a few low-level jobs, and I was certain they'd been saving us for this particular cause. My theory was confirmed one night when we were called in for a meeting.

"You're late," Pyro, as every bit a fire-maniac as his name would suggest, sat with his feet up on the long table in the moldy business room.

"We were eating," Jamie explained, slumping into the seat next to him. The two got along well, unsurprisingly given their shared traits. Pyro absentmindedly flicked a small Bic lighter on and off.

"Hope you've filled up," He said nonchalantly. "We're shipping out tonight."

"Who's 'we'?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. "And what for?"

Pyro sighed as if I should have already been fully aware of what he was about to tell us.

"You two, me, the big guy, and Wanda. The bosses handpicked us. We're meeting them at a Marriot in Connecticut."

"We're already moving onto phase two? The ceremony isn't for another week, isn't that jumping the gun?" I protested.

Pyro rolled his eyes. "Chill. Pun intended," He smirked at Jamie and flicked his flame again. "Erik wants us all local, so they can't track us back to headquarters. We're just a big family on vacation with five rooms facing the pool.

"Who would holiday in Connecticut?" Jamie smiled.

Pyro sensed my continued hesitation. "Look, Mags, you ever heard of 'keep your enemies close'? We'll get a lot more done within range of the Danbury prison."

"I know, I know," I said. "It's just…I don't own a bathing suit."

We checked in at midnight, with what little luggage we had packed into grocery store tote bags. The hotel was decent, with a bar and continental breakfast in the lobby. Where the Brotherhood got the money to afford the place, I could only imagine. Pyro assured us there would be time during the week to take advantage of the amenities, but I only had my king-size bed in mind. Sleep would have to wait, though.

One of the hotel's conference rooms had been booked for the Brotherhood, and that's where our superiors awaited us. Magneto sat at the head of the table in a gray suit and hat, despite being indoors. Beside him was a blonde woman who could only be a disguised Mystique, and on his other side sat Wanda Maximoff, a cold and beautiful woman with impressive talents. Toad stood by the door, shifty as ever. They hardly acknowledged us as we walked in and occupied the remaining seats.

"Erik, stealing the serum from the prison vaults will only draw attention to us before we're ready," Wanda was saying in her hushed Transian accent.

"Don't matter," Toad brushed off her concern. "My guy said they're weaponizing the cure. If we don't get rid of this stock before the breakout, they could just shoot us with it." He made a finger-gun for added measure.

"Besides, your information is outdated," Mystique drawled. "It's being moved to a secure facility outside the detention center. Maximum security, but nothing we can't handle. The place is completely isolated."

"And _there's_ the folly of man," Pyro grinned.

"Surely there's a better plan than leaping into battle with the security guards," said Wanda.

"That's why _she's_ here," Mystique pointed at me. I felt my face flush. "You're going to go in ahead and put as many of them to sleep as you can. Wanda will help. Then, we move in."

"I…yeah. Great," I tried to meet Wanda's eyes, but she didn't seem interested.

"Then it's settled," Magneto spoke in a bored voice as he pushed his chair back. "We'll make our move in the early morning. Meet in the lobby by five."

"A.M.?" Pyro groaned. He looked around, suddenly confused. "Hey, wait, where's the big guy?"

"Juggernaut?" Toad's scoffed. "Too conspicuous. He'll come in for the ceremony."

The room cleared in a matter of seconds, everyone just as desperately tired as I was. When Jamie and I retired to our room, I flopped on the bed with a groan.

"What?" He sat down and ran his hands along my back.

"You nervous about tomorrow?" I peered up at him.

"Should I be?" Jamie half-laughed. "We've had harder missions."

"Have we, though?" I sighed. "I mean…maximum security. That's a lot of security."

"We can handle them."

He'd told me that before. It wasn't what I wanted to hear.

"And what if they can't handle us?" I asked.

Jamie took his hands off my back. "Isn't that the point?"

"Yes. I mean, no. I just mean…" I swallowed a yawn.

"You're actually worried about hurting them?"

I said nothing, just bit down on my tongue and stared at the wall.

"Maggie, they don't deserve your pity," He said coldly. "You have to remember that."

"Right."

"When it comes down to it, you can't hesitate. I can't keep covering for you every time your morals stall you up."

I sat up to glare at him.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I'm just saying," Jamie relaxed his tone, sensing a fight. "Sometimes, I've noticed, you panic. You see anyone in danger, and you lower your guard. Even when it's an enemy. It could cost you one day."

"So you're saying I'm doing a shit job?"

"No! I'm saying...you've picked a side. Stick to it," He pressed his forehead against mine. "Stick with me."

He was right. I was an idealist living in a fucked up world, and the time for that was well over. If there was a way to win my freedom without hurting people, of course I'd do it. But, there wasn't. It was just hard convincing my body of that. I was no pacifist, but I also wasn't a soldier.

Early morning was prime heist time, as it turned out. No one in sight for miles on our ride, except the sun poking out from behind the mountains.

The facility was essentially a large cement box with two armed officials standing outside the surrounding barbed fence. Wanda, who still did not have any warm feelings towards me, stood a few feet away behind a large shrub. The others were further back, but their breathing rang in my ear piece. Thanks to the forest canopy, I had a clear shot of the guards. They were too far away for a strong hit, though.

"I need them closer," I whispered through gritted teeth. Wanda gave me a look that said, "Whatever, newbie," and lifted her hands. The men didn't notice the red aura that surrounded their feet, but looked around in surprise when the ground moved them forward a few paces away from the building. Before they could yelp, I took my chance. I felt their minds slip into a dizzying sleep as they collapsed on the grass.

I nodded at Wanda and we ran up to the fence. She bent back the chain links and we slipped through. No alarm had gone off yet. No one had exited the building. I pressed the side of my head up against the cold, scratchy wall.

"How many?" a voice in my ear crackled.

"At least ten. Maybe fifteen," I said quietly. The buzzing minds inside were lulled, still drowsy from the early hour.

"Mystique, you're up," said Wanda. A figure emerged from the woods, shifting promptly into the form of one of the downed security men. She walked right up to the door, with Wanda and I flat against the wall on either side, and knocked. A metal eye window slid open.

"Dude, we're supposed to use our coms," said a young someone on the other side.

"Mine's down," Mystique said, mimicking a basic male voice. "Are there any more doughnuts?"

"No one brought in doughnuts. I think there's some bagels in the…" He opened the door too soon. The second there was no wall between us, I had him. It was a teen who fell forward onto his face, unconscious. We dragged him out and the three of us went in. Fortunately, he'd been the only one in the main entrance.

"We're clear. Move in," ordered Mystique, pressing her com. The rest joined us in moments. Magneto ripped apart the metal wall keeping us from the vault, revealing a room that also contained the remaining guards. There was a blissful instant where they had to process what was happening before reacting, and that was all we needed to one-up them. I couldn't keep them steady enough to put them to sleep, but Wanda and I stood back to back and shot flares of solid energy at the advancing men. Mystique, Pyro, Jamie, and Toad took on their own half of the room while Magneto walked, calm as could be, to the metal safe. The door flew off the handle, and when the smoke cleared, I could make out the shelves of vials that lined the walls. Glass shattered and crunched.

The last of the guards fell to the ground with a moan.

"Torch it," Magneto instructed Pyro and Jamie. "And evacuate."

"What about the men?" asked Wanda.

"They've seen us."

"Erik…" scolded Wanda.

"He said torch it!" yelled Toad, already heading for the door.

I looked at the man at my feet who was stirring just slightly. I hadn't even registered the blaring alarm system that had been ringing since our grand entrance. There was no time.

The room was ablaze in seconds, and the cool air felt like a kiss when we all made it back out. That's when I heard the gunshots. I whipped around toward the building to see Mystique holding a pistol and firing repeatedly into the flames. Similar bullets were shooting back at her from beyond the door.

"They're awake! GO!" She shouted. Magneto turned back, and the guns of the sleeping guards by the fence rose into the air. His bullets joined the chorus of destruction. The fight was still on.

I backed up and my foot squashed something that gave a yelp. It was the hand belonging to the young guard at the door. He was still on the ground, but conscious. He was bleeding. A stray bullet must have struck him in the side. He grabbed my ankle. Instinctively my fingers lit up with my force field, and I prepared to strike.

"Please…" He whimpered. "Please."

I looked at him, pathetic and wounded. He was exactly the type of person I hated, a blind follower to a system that only promoted hate. He helped to maintain the war on mutants by serving Trask. He didn't care about anyone but himself.

But, he'd said please.

I bent down, shielding him from view with my body while the battle roared behind me.

"Run," I whispered. He used the wall for support, and staggered off into the woods.

"Maggie!" Jamie was behind me. "What the hell are you doing, we've got to get out of here!" He pulled me alongside him as we joined the others. Everyone was unharmed. At least, everyone on _our_ side. The building was burning, along with the villainous serum inside it.

"They will just send along another shipment," Wanda mused on the drive back to the hotel.

"That's tomorrow's problem," Pyro said. "We've set them back a few paces. No one knows it was us. Can't we just celebrate? If anyone needs me, I'll either be at the pool or the bar for the rest of the day."

When we got back to our room, Jamie and I were silent. I couldn't tell what he was thinking, and it made me nervous. He dared not show an ounce of emotion as he changed, showered, and turned on the TV. Finally, after too long without a word, he got up and moved to the door.

"I'll be downstairs."

I nodded, and after he shut the door, I curled up on top of the covers and stayed like that until dark. Jamie didn't return until it was almost one in the morning. I had the news on and was watching stoically from the end of the bed. I could tell he was drunk the minute he walked in the room.

"Shut that shit off," He muttered, clumsily kicking off his shoes.

"I'm watching it," I said. "You had fun?"

"You should've come down," He slurred.

"It's not much fun being the only sober one at a party."

"You can still have fun," he said. "We earned it."

"Earned it?" I turned up the volume on the television and pointed at an image of the vault we had destroyed. "There's a death count."

"And what about the mutant death count?" Jamie replied icily.

"That's beside the point!"

I didn't expect it when he snatched my arm and yanked me off the bed to face him. I could smell the alcohol on his breath. Though I had never known him to be a mean drunk, there was anger that had been waiting to be unleashed burning in his eyes.

"You think I didn't see you?" He hissed. "You let that man get away today. A man who stood for everything we're fighting against. You risked _everything!_ You were careless and stupid and-"

"It was _one_ guy!"

"He saw us! He could've reported us! If Magneto had seen you, he might've fucking killed you!"

"Let go of me." But he only gripped my wrists harder.

"You're such a—" Jamie turned to the television, distracted by the report. _Escapee of local fire in ICU for seven hours before declared dead._ He had the audacity to smile. "See? You couldn't even save him. All that for nothing."

I shut my eyes to force the hot tears back into my head.

"At least I cared enough to try," I whispered. "Isn't that what good guys do?"

"THERE ARE NO SUCH THINGS AS GOOD GUYS!" Jamie yelled in my face. "Maggie, you beautiful idiot. How many times do you have to be hunted and beaten down before you get it through your head? There's no good. There's no bad. There's only _surviving_. Got it?"

"Don't fucking call me an idiot."

"Stop acting like one!"

"You're drunk. And I'm leaving." I tried to side-step him but it was only then that I realized he was stronger than me. He wouldn't let go. My heart pounded as I struggled in his grasp.

"Would you stop—"Jamie's face was flushing red with anger. His temperature was rising. "Just…just LISTEN!"

Like with all burns, I didn't feel it until it was already too late. My scalding wrists didn't stop me from exploding with a force of energy that sent us both flying to opposite ends of the room. Jamie was up against the closet, looking like he had just woken up. I was curled by the window, clutching my injured skin. There were red marks where he'd been holding me that wouldn't heal anytime soon.

"Oh God, Maggie," He whimpered, dragging himself up. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Here, let me…"

His fingers turned to blue as he approached, but I shrank away from his touch.

"Save it," I forced out, shoving past him and out the door with as loud a slam as I could conjure. My vision was blurred by waterworks, but I had no trouble finding my way down to the empty courtyard.

A fire burned dully in one of the pits. I sat beside it and examined my burns. They flashed the same color as the flames. I pulled my sleeves down to my hands and buried my face in them. Stupid…Maybe I had been stupid. But maybe I hadn't. The war outside felt very far away compared to the one raging within me. How much of my desire to value lives was weakness, and how much of it wasn't? Why the hell did I have to choose, our lives or theirs? That shouldn't be up to me. I should be painting a nursery in some suburban wasteland with a sober husband. Working. Going back to school. Living in a peaceful world that didn't detest mutant kind.

It was all so much bigger than me, and for the first time, I could see that clearly. I couldn't live by my codes _and_ get what I want. At some point, I'd have to choose. I just wasn't ready for that yet.

"Can't sleep?" a tired voice said behind me. Wanda appeared out of the shadows and took the seat opposite the fire pit.

"Dunno," I said, trying to subtly wipe away any stray tears. "I didn't really try."

"You get used to this kind of life, you know," She said, more polite than I'd ever known her to be.

"Are you used to it?"

"I'm getting there."

"Can I ask…" I paused. The woman had never been so forward with me, and I didn't want to push too hard. Then again, it wasn't like I had much to lose besides a pleasant acquaintanceship. "You used to be an Avenger, right?"

"Is that your question?"

"No. I, uh…I just was wondering why you're here."

She stiffly examined her fingernails.

"The same reason you are. I became illegal."

"But—"

"When the Sokovia Accords split the Avengers between two sides of the law," She sighed. "I had a choice. Go to prison, or go into hiding. Hiding didn't suit me, so I joined the Brotherhood. An alternative form of heroism, serving people like you and me."

"Did they know you were a mutant?"

"It never came up."

"You don't miss it, though?" I pressed. "Being on the other side of the law?"

Wanda stared at me like I was something gross on the bottom of her shoe.

"That is irrelevant. And none of your business," She said.

"No. Sorry."

She got to her feet and folded her arms in front of her chest, an awkward gesture to indicate she'd rather be having any other conversation with any other person.

"Good night. We have many more days like this to look forward to," she said sarcastically.

"'Night," I replied, leaning back in my chair. Wanda paused where she stood, and I followed her eyes to my wrist where the fabric of my shirt revealed a burn. There was no mistaking its shape; a clenched hand. She pointed at it before she spoke.

"Did he do that?"

I covered it back up and stared into the flames.

"I will offer you this advice," Wanda placed her hands on the back of her chair and looked at the ground. "Do what you need to do with the Brotherhood, then get out as soon as you can. Alone. There's no one you can rely on except yourself in this world. Not even someone who might seem like a hero at first glance."

Her eyes seemed like they were glinting genuinely, but maybe it was just the reflection from the fire.

"Same to you, Scarlet Witch."

She flinched at her name, then turned on her heel and stalked off into the dark without another word. I was left alone in the courtyard. And that felt fine.


	10. The Brotherhood (II)

I forgave him the next morning. When I returned to the room, dawn was creeping up over his shoulders where his back was pressed against the window. His face was in his hands, and I could see frost sprouting on the glass where his body touched. Jamie couldn't even bring himself to look at me when I entered the room. I knelt in front of him for a moment, waiting to see his eyes emerge. When they didn't, I was at a loss. I didn't know how to tell if he was who I'd thought he was. My friend. My partner. My entire goddamn team.

Two years ago I didn't know he existed. Then, he became my world. How does that even happen?

It didn't really matter. It felt like it would always be me and him versus the universe. Me _and_ him. I wasn't ready to be anything else. I couldn't just be…me.

I lay my head down against his knees and felt his tension seep out. He kissed my head and ran his fingers through my hair. I reached up to brush his cheek, but when I did his hand closed around mine and he gently lifted my sleeve. The burn looked better in the daylight. Not in his eyes, though. Before he could react, I sat up and cupped his face in both my hands.

"Don't look at it," I whispered. "Look at me." But his eyes scrunched shut, and tears shot out behind tired lids. I kissed them away as they fell. I was surprised to find my anger had completely evaporated.

We'd always been bound to hurt each other. That's what people do. They also heal.

For the next few nights, we wouldn't fall asleep unless we were holding each other. We were gentle with every touch, every question. Still, there was some desperation in the way we kept one another close. It was as though both of us could sense a rift that we refused to believe was real.

Finally, the day of the Cure ceremony arrived. I got up before Jamie did to shower. I was getting dressed when I heard him rustle out of the sheets.

"Morning," he said sleepily from the edge of the bed.

"Nice day for a prison break," I replied, shoving my legs into some pants. I turned to find him looking at me with an odd smirk. "What?"

"Nothing," Jamie defended, stifling a yawn. "But…" He grinned. "I think you're starting to show."

I looked down, horrified, and then quickly ran to the mirror. Sure enough, there was a small, but defined swell on the bottom of my stomach. I hadn't noticed. I hadn't even thought to keep track.

"Shit," I said while Jamie rolled his eyes.

"You knew that would happen," He got up and wrapped his arms around me.

"When do we tell them?" I was genuinely fearful about coming clean to the rest of the Brotherhood about my condition.

"When we need to," was Jamie's simple answer. "Until then, we can just keep her our secret."

"She's the last secret we've kept from them," I muttered.

"That's a good name. 'Secret', like the deodorant company," He started laughing.

"God, you're the worst." I kissed him anyway. He held me tightly, trying to force everything he didn't have the words to say into that one embrace.

"Be careful out there, tonight," he breathed in my ear. I could only nod.

We got to the prison before the ceremony had even set up. That is, Mystique was granted access to the facility, and the rest of us had to wait at a remote location. The shapeshifter had taken the identity of a max security guard, after stealing his badge and verification from him at a bar last night. She worked all too well and all too quickly. She only needed to remove the inhibitor collar from one prisoner, a woman with the power to disrupt all electronically powered sources within a ten mile-radius. One blast from her, and every inhibitor collar in the building would malfunction.

They knew if she got out, everyone would, so she was locked up tight. Only one guard had access, and that was Mitch Mahoney, who in reality was passed out in his home after one too many beers. Mystique was an excellent substitute. A lot of research went into this plan, and I had to say I was impressed with the Brotherhood's investigative prowess.

Once we received word that Mystique and the special prisoner were in position, we joined the growing crowd outside the prison gates where a fancy podium and stage had been arranged. Toad had to hide his blatantly mutated face with a visor, but otherwise we blended in without a hitch.

Trask showed up on the scene in a fancy limo and a grey suit. I felt like I was going to hurl at the sight of his smarmy grin, relishing in the audience's applause.

"My friends," his voice echoed in the microphone. Clicks from cameras and whispers from reporters weren't loud enough to derail him. "We are here to celebrate a breakthrough in medical science and humanitarianism. The Hope Serum 2.0 has already been a massive success during its trial run!"

A smattering of claps and cheers. I looked to Pyro, who was frowning over the tops of, trying to get a better look at something completely out of my view.

"This is not just a triumph for our community at large, but for our detained mutant citizens who will receive a fresh start upon their release."

More clapping. Trask sure had found the best spin to put on the cure to keep him and his supporters sleeping at night. Pyro's hand fell on my shoulder, causing me to jump. I turned to shoot him an annoyed glance, but found he wasn't looking at me. He'd found whatever he'd been looking for and his face had gone pale.

"They're here," He hissed in my ear. "X-Men, all over the place."

I was too short to see familiar faces, so I had to take him at his word. My heart thumped heavily at the thought of running into my former caretakers. Jamie brushed up between us.

"How did they know we'd be here?" said Jamie, scanning the crowd.

"Either an excellent guess, or someone tipped them off," Pyro raised his eyebrows. I was hurt when Jamie's eyes immediately swooped to me, but he had enough tact not to ask. For the record, I hadn't been in touch with any of the heroes since our allegiance had switched.

"What do we do?" I asked. "Call it off?"

"It's a little late for that."

As if on cue, Trask's voice dropped out of my ear as his microphone turned off. Video cameras fizzled out, and the stage lights went dark. A terrible screeching of metal filled the air, as the barbed wire fence peeled out of the ground. Magneto appeared, coiling a ring of metal around a gaping Trask. There were screams and attempts to run, but as planned, we surrounded the crowd of humans to prevent escape. At least until they heard what we had to say. I created a long field of energy that corralled the humans, and the other Brotherhood members stood poised for attack. With his other hand, Magneto crunched the guns in the hands of surrounding officers. In seconds, they were powerless.

"Good evening," the metal maniac's voice boomed even without an amplifier. "We represent the minority population you are attempting to destroy. We refuse to become extinct, as we have shown time and time again and will continue to show. Your oppression will no longer be tolerated." I'd never seen someone so terrifying yet so calm at the same time. "But we are not monsters, as your superiors would have you believe. We are more than happy to negotiate with you, Mr. Trask. You're a businessman, surely you can adapt. Ban the cure…and I'll spare your life."

"N-never!" Trask sputtered, despite the metal fence squeezing him more and more with each moment.

"I'm being more than fair," Magneto feigned offense. "One life for the lives of hundreds? You're getting the better end of the deal."

"Erik!" I heard a voice call out from the crowd and knew at once who it was. "Don't do this."

If Magneto was surprised, he recovered incredibly fast.

"Glad you could make it, Charles. It just wouldn't be a party without the stick in the mud."

"This is not the way," The professor sounded tired and soft. I could barely make out what he was saying to his fellow mutant, and I certainly couldn't see him from the edge of the crowd. "You'll only prove them right."

"How many times must we have this argument?" yelled Magneto, fury raging all at once. "How many times must you stand in my way, spouting the same nonsense, so that nothing changes? Mutantkind is at a crossroads, our situation direr every day. You can't tell me there's a better way, when all you do is sit back and let us die!"

There was a pause. Everyone was craning their necks, making it harder for me to even catch a glimpse of the scene. "I don't want to have to fight you."

Magneto sneered.

"Oh, sure you do."

But before the men could square off, a distant crash sent eyes up towards the prison. From the rubble of a broken wall I could see the unmistakable form of the Juggernaut, who had rammed a clean opening through the brick. As the dust cleared, other figures emerged behind them. Slowly, at first, then all at once. The prisoners were running down the hill, but not away from the crowd. Right towards us. This wasn't just a rescue mission—it was an act of vengeance. I'd known that. I'd prepared myself for it. Still, what the Professor yelled out next made me drop my guard completely.

"If you hurt these people, there will be no coming back from this! They will meet your fire with fire, tenfold."

"And we will be ready for it!" bellowed Magneto.

"And I will always be there to stop you!"

Chaos erupted. I can't count the number of times that's happened around me. I took two steps back, Pyro and Jamie at my sides. Some of the people realized they had a chance to escape in the distraction, but I didn't care. I wasn't going to stop them.

"Spread out, we're losing them!" Pyro shouted.

Jamie moved to oblige, but I grabbed his shoulder.

"No," I said. "No. Fuck. The Professor's right. This was stupid."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Jamie could hardly focus on me while trying to keep tabs on the swarming crowd and the oncoming army of mutants. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the X-Men form a barrier between the humans and the horde. Storm was up in the air. Clyclops' beams were already keeping some of the first prisoners at bay. I was sure there were more on the ground. The troops had really been rallied.

"If we sic a bunch of angry mutants on innocents, we're no better."

"Of course we're better. Innocents? Jesus, they would do the same to us! They already _have!"_ He looked fearful and angry at the same time. He knew what I was going to do next. "Maggie," He said. "Pull yourself together."

I didn't have a retort. He was right. But, so was I. I backed away from him.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled.

I broke into a run before he had the chance to scream my name. I did look back—and when I did, he was boiling the mud in front of him to burn the feet of advancing police officers.

I kept running until I saw a familiar tuft of black, greasy hair.

"Logan," I panted. He turned to me in surprise, almost getting knocked over by a mutant with tusks. I sent the guy flying to the side.

"Hell, am I supposed to fight you now?" He growled, extending his claws.

"God, I hope not," I said. "How's it looking over here?"

He hadn't dropped his air of suspicion.

"You're one of 'em," Logan narrowed his eyes, but I sighed impatiently.

"I'm not one of anything. Do you want my help or not?"

Logan looked between me and the storming mutants, trying to decide if he was pissed off enough to say 'no'.

"There's too many," He shook his head. "Not enough of us to keep 'em all back for long."

"Keep doing what you're doing. I'll handle the civilians."

"'Civilians?' What, you're a fancy superhero now?" But he had a half smile, and turned back to the battle.

I found a spot between the X-Men and the scared group of people, huddled by the stage. Some who had ran had already been attacked. Officers were going down by the dozens. I lifted my hands and planted my feet in the ground. From my fingertips burst a dome of magenta colored light. I gritted my teeth and struggled to encase the entire crowd. It was the biggest one I'd done to date, and I didn't know if I could hold it. People inside the dome were freaking out, trying to press against it and terrified to find the light had turned to solid energy around them. Whatever. They could scream all they want. At least none of the baddies could get in.

Were they baddies, though? I had enough stamina to look around as I held tight to the force field. I spotted entire families of mutants, their inhibitor collars still swinging from their necks as they hurried off into the woods instead of seeking their revenge. I prayed I was doing the right thing. I'd done my part, fighting for their escape. Now I had to help those at a disadvantage. The weak were ever-changing.

 _Maggie,_ the Professor's voice appeared in my head. He knew I was here. Embarrassing. _Can you get the onlookers a safe distance away?_

 _I can try_ , I thought. I was already losing my grip. With another deep breath I shoved forward with all my might. The dome shifted a few feet, people still securely inside.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," I whispered. This was too hard. There was no way I could move them all. My body ached under the weight.

 _You're stronger than you think_.

 _Fine, Obi Wan_ , I snapped back. It didn't matter if I was stronger than I thought, or even stronger than I thought. I knew what needed to be done.

A grunt ripping through my lips, I shaped the dome into a sphere, a hamster ball like the one Jamie and I had escaped in all that time ago. I'd seen it done in a movie once, but not to this extent. Not carrying this many people. No, not the time to think about that. This had to be done.

I hoisted the sphere into the air, ignoring the cries of terror from the people inside. I could only get it a few feet off the ground, but it was enough so that others cleared the way as I dragged it through the air. I pushed and pushed until the glowing orb was small enough to be considered "a safe distance away". Then, I let go. The people in the dark were surely confused, having just been dropped off in the middle of nowhere, but at least they weren't in the middle of a fight that wasn't theirs.

I was breathing heavily, but I caught Logan's eye as I re-centered and grinned. He shot one back at me, but his expression turned to a foreboding one as he saw something behind me. The warning was just escaping his mouth as I felt it.

A hot, thin blade pushed right through me. I didn't know what was happening until I looked down to see the tip of it sticking out of my side. The blood didn't come until my assailant pulled the shard back out. I couldn't even turn to see who had done me in, as my weight crumbled to the ground. All I could process was Logan's vengeful face, his slash of claws as he took down the person behind me, mutant or human I did not know. All I could think was how stupid I'd been. Not for getting stabbed, or distracted. For allowing _this_ moment to be my downfall. I didn't want to be down for the count. Not yet. I still had to figure out what I'd been fighting for. _Not fair,_ I thought as Logan's arms closed around me and I slipped into an all-too familiar darkness.


	11. Affiliated

It's so damn lonely. When you swerve a little in your car. When you miss a step going down the stairs. When you puke your guts out after an all-night bender. When you think it might be the end, even just a little bit, it suddenly feels like there was never anyone else in the world. All the people you loved, all the strangers on the street. They were nothing. Every inch of your world was only a dream. It was only ever you. That's what people fear the most about death, I think. Realizing how truly alone they are.

So, I wasn't surprised when I woke up to an empty hospital room. For a while, I was sure I was in limbo, and grateful that I could still dream. I couldn't feel a damn thing. Then, the doctor walked in and I realized I hadn't escaped any pain. All at once, I ached. I felt like I was being stabbed over and over again. I was fucking alive.

"Maggie," the doctor said calmly, pulling a chair up to my bedside. "You're in Danbury Hospital. I'm Doctor Lane, I've been taking care of you."

I stared at her blankly. She looked like the kind of woman who was stern and smart but wouldn't let you feel worthless. When I had nothing to say, or even the ability to open my mouth, she continued.

"You've been through quite an ordeal. I know this will be a lot to hear right away, but I wanted to catch you while you were conscious so you know what's going on. Can you bear with me?"

I nodded. She reminded me of Storm.

Dr. Lane took in a breath, and held up an actual clipboard to her spectacled eyes.

"You were attacked by a mutant at the prison ceremony. You remember that?"

I nodded again. Nod, nod, nod. That was all I was up for.

"The weapon went through your right side, though amazingly your lung and intestines were unharmed. It was below your healing bullet wound, which, good news, means the pain will be localized. Bad news, we had to reopen it in surgery, so that's fresh, too. We did have to remove your appendix."

Fine. I didn't need that anyway. And the injury from my bullet was just a scratch in comparison.

"You're in for a rough recovery, I won't lie. Stomach wounds are no easy fix, and your body has a lot to adjust to. Traces of poison were cleaned up, but it may leave a nasty scar."

After my third nod, and smiled and stood back up.

"I'll come check in in a few hours. For now—"

"The baby." I spoke all of a sudden. It was not a question. I wasn't seeking consolation. Just a confirmation that the emptiness, the shear loneliness I was feeling was real. I had known the moment I woke that she was gone. I hadn't realized how much her presence weighed inside me until there was nothing. Like she'd never even been there.

My doctor was quiet for a moment, but I was sure she'd had to deliver worse news than this. Clearly, she'd been biting back the information, waiting until I was more emotionally present. I couldn't let her leave without telling me.

"I'm very sorry, Maggie," she said, and the world seemed to fall away. "The fetus was dead by the time you reached the hospital. We…we removed it as well."

My body hadn't protected her this time. I lifted my hand, which took more effort than I'd been expecting, and ran it over the sheets covering my torso.

"I hope it's not impudent to say, you're incredibly lucky to be alive," said Lane, matter-of-factly. "You're very strong."

"So which is it?" I choked out in a voice that didn't sound like mine. "Am I lucky or strong?"

Dr. Lane smiled sadly at me, a smile I knew well at this point.

"Sleep. I'll increase your morphine for the pain." But I was already spiraling out of the room and back into black.

* * *

I was there for a few days. The TV was my only companion, so it stayed on all day and most of the night while I slept. I got caught up on current events quickly. I learned that after I went down, the battle continued for a little bit. Sentinel Services showed up and the X-Men worked with them to wrangle the prisoners. The Brotherhood ducked out early. Trask publicly thanked the X-Men for their cooperation. My name came up once, but I was on so many painkillers I could've dreamed it. Some of the officers and sentinel guards were injured, but apparently it wasn't much of a fight. Two of the mutants were killed. That was all I knew.

The main thing I could deduce was that I'd been stabbed for helping the other side. For betraying my own kind. I was protecting the humans who were against us, and somebody didn't like that. I didn't know them, and they didn't know me. I couldn't help wondering if I might've done the same, had the roles been reversed. Maybe a year ago. I was different now, or so I thought.

I did receive a visitor on the second day of hospitalization. He brought me tea, and read to me from the paper.

"'An escapee of the Danbury Prison possessed a poison tail, likened to a sting-ray, and ran through ex-felon Magnolia Addams as she was moving bystanders to safety alongside the X-Men. She is in critical condition, but otherwise no casualties reported.'" Hank McCoy folded the article.

"Can I frame that?" I asked, mashing my Jell-O into goo. I didn't look at him because I knew he only had pity in his eyes. "'Alongside the X-Men'…that's about as close as I'll get to 'hero'."

"You were a hero."

"No, I wasn't. And I wish you wouldn't come in here and say nice shit to me just because I almost died. I still failed you."

"I was never grading you," He scoffed. "But if I was, I'd say you more than made up for it."

I sighed shakily.

"The Brotherhood vanished. The mutants from the prison got their powers removed. The entire night was a loss."

"Not entirely. Because of what the X-Men did, there's a halt on Trask's cure program," Hank said.

"Really?" I must have missed that. I'd given up news after day one and had mainly been watching cartoons.

"Small pebble, big ripples," He shrugged.

"Am I the pebble?"

"I'd say so."

I sank back into my pillow.

"Not to be a downer, but… _I_ lost everything. Everyone." I stared up at the ceiling to keep any tears from falling.

Hank wasn't much of a comforter, so he busied himself with the crossword.

"You'll be moved to the mansion in a few days so you can recuperate around friends," he said airily.

"I'm not sure I have any friends left there."

"The Professor did send his regards, though he's been swamped," He rubbed his chin uncomfortably. "And, the night you were admitted, Logan didn't leave your bedside for hours."

I blinked.

"That doesn't sound like him."

"No, it doesn't," Hank chuckled. "I suspect he felt somewhat responsible. He was closest to you."

"That's stupid."

"He's a complicated fellow," He agreed, before standing up. "I'll let you rest now, but I'll come see you at the mansion.

"Thanks for dropping by."

He smiled and nodded. As he reached the door, I couldn't hold back the question I'd been sitting on for days.

"Hank—" I called out, but he was one step ahead of me.

"There's been no word on Jamie's whereabouts," He said gently. "I'm sorry. Get some sleep." That was all anyone would say to me.

* * *

He did come. I knew he would, though the thought didn't instill much hope in me. I was terrified to see him. He came long after visiting hours were over, so I didn't know how he got in. I didn't need to know.

Jamie stood in the doorway for a good long while before he allowed himself into my hospital room. There was a bruise under his left eye, and it offset him entirely.

"You found me," I murmured, refusing to meet his eyes just yet.

"Took me long enough." Jamie still didn't come near me. I had to go to him.

I lifted myself up on my elbows and began sliding my feet off the bed. He immediately came forward to protest.

"No, God, don't move…"

But this was important. And I was ready to stand, with a little help. My IV came along with me as I stumbled into his arms. I buried my face in his shoulder, and he pressed his cheek into the top of my head. His jacket soaked up my tears like a sponge.

"I lost it," was all I could murmur. "The kid."

He was silent, but I could feel him shuddering. He was trying to be the strong one, but neither of us ever were.

"It's alright," Jamie whispered. "Hey, it's alright." He held me tighter and laughed briskly, in spite of everything. "We'd have been shit parents, anyway."

He led me back over to bed when he noticed my teeth were grinding with the pain of holding myself up. I curled my feet up so he could sit at the end, like a watchdog.

"When you're ready to get out of here, I'll take you back to HQ," Jamie began. "Magneto says he will forgive your actions, I told him it was just a—"

"I'm not going back to the Brotherhood," I said, surprised.

"What d'you mean?"

"I made a new choice, and I'm sticking to it," My throat felt tight, but I had to tell him. "I didn't just get the crap beaten out of me for nothing."

"You're going back to Xavier?" His temperature was rising.

"No. Maybe. For a little." I wasn't sure what was next, and I was okay with that.

"Maggie…"

"It's not just X-Men or the Brotherhood, is it?" I snapped. "Those aren't my only options. I'm going to figure out what I need to do, I just know it's not…"

"With me?"

His face was unreadable, and I hated that. I touched the tip of my finger to his.

"That depends," I said softly. "Where will you be?"

"Fighting for my freedom. Always."

"There are other ways—"

"No," He said quietly. "No."

"I'm not going to change your mind, am I?"

I grabbed his hand, and was grateful when he didn't pull away.

"So, that's it?" I swallowed hard. "We go our separate ways?"

"Did you love me?"

The question felt like a knife through the heart.

"Love you?" It had been so much time, and not once had we said those words to each other. Those three flimsy words. They didn't seem to do justice to what I felt for him. They never did. "Jamie, I…you were everything to me. I was ready to have your baby. I wouldn't gone to the ends of the earth for you."

"What happened?"

"I guess I realized…the ends of the earth weren't where I wanted to go."

Jamie's smile hurt me worse than being stabbed by a mutant tail. It signaled an ending that I wasn't ready for. He leaned down to kiss me one more time, then lay beside me in that cramped bed. He stayed until dawn. Then, without a word, he left me.

* * *

I was moved to the infirmary in the X-Mansion the next day. It turned out the Beast was right. I had a lot more visitors back in the mutant community. Kitty was my first, and she beamed when she saw me. In truth, she'd been one of the only ones I'd wanted to see. Some of my students dropped by in groups, as did some faculty, with stiff "feel betters", and flowers from the garden. I didn't think I deserved an ounce of it.

Logan and Kitty brought a deck of cards in every night, and we gambled and laughed like everything was normal. I could see it in Logan's eyes every time I caught him staring at me—He had wanted to save me. He blamed himself, even though there was nothing he could've done. All of them were like that. The X-Men were who they were because they couldn't stand when someone was hurt on their watch. Even someone like me, who had betrayed them and stomped on their kindness. That was how I knew I was where I needed to be.

"Did you kill him?" I asked Logan in one of the rare moments we were alone. "The guy who got me."

"I sure as hell left 'im indisposed," Logan said slowly, arching an eyebrow. "But no, I didn't kill 'im. Mighta in the old days. Why?"

"Good," I said quietly. "I just thought I'd check."

Dr. Lane had been right about a fraught recovery. Nights were agony, and days were brutally boring. I hadn't seen the Professor yet, but word was he'd been pleased with my performance. One day, something exciting was going on. The mansion was abuzz, I could feel it even in my secluded hospital wing. Kitty swung by after lunch and nearly screamed the news in my ear.

"Iron Man is HERE! In this very building!" She could only let her fangirl side show around me. "He's doing a press conference and photoshoot with the Professor at one! Tony Freaking Stark!"

"Oh my god, what?! Why?"

"In the wake of what happened, blah blah blah, he's coming out in support of mutant civil rights and speaking against Trask's program," Kitty explained. "There's talk of new legislation involving mutants under the Registration Act and Sokovia accords."

"New… _good_ legislation?" My brain was slow to compute.

"Don't know yet. But it must be if he's working with the Professor."

"Hey, that's actually awesome," I grinned.

"I haven't told you the best part. He's gonna come say hi before he leaves," She grinned at me like we were talking about high school boys.

"To me?!"

"Yeah, to you! You're kind of being paraded about as the hero of the Danbury situation. He just met with all the X-Men. I got two handshakes."

"But I look like shit!" I complained. "I'm like, half a ghost!"

"Yeah, true," Kitty laughed. "I mean, no, come on, it doesn't matter!" She patted my arm supportively. "It's just for the publicity. And he's not a bad guy."

"I heard he was a drunk."

"Well, he's not drunk at the moment. So, chin up, and try to act presentable." When I rolled my eyes she added, "I'll stay with you, if that makes you feel better."

"You just want to hang out with him more."

"Yup."

About fifteen minutes into a game of rummy, Rachel poked her head in.

"Um, Maggie? The Professor wants to see you. He's got a few guests. You up for it?"

I exchanged a nervous glance with Kitty. "Yeah, sure. Send them in."

A whole platoon of people entered my room and I suddenly felt naked in my dirty sweats and gross hospital sheet. There were cameras, no one said there would be cameras. Xavier wheeled in first, followed by Emma Frost, Scott, and a man in a suit meant for a cocktail party who I recognized at once as Tony Stark. A photographer stood at the door next to a big guy who could only be Stark's bodyguard. Not that he really needed one.

"Maggie," The Professor smiled widely. "You're looking much better."

"Feeling much better, Professor." It was the first time I'd seen him since that night. I wished that we were alone so I could apologize. Get a sense of whether or not he was really happy to see me.

"As I'm sure you've heard, Maggie was responsible for moving the attendees of the ceremony out of the way of the superhuman attack. Thanks to her, civilian safety was a non-issue."

"I saw the footage," Mr. Stark said distractedly, looking around at all the people that had crammed into the room. "Impressive. Useful."

"Th-thanks," I mumbled uselessly. When I spoke, he focused in on me.

"No, you know, she's a perfect example of why we _need_ this X-Men/SHIELD cooperation. We get people like her out there, figure-heading the cause, the public will listen."

"Figure heading?" I asked.

"A symbol for what mutants can be," Stark said. "Professor, you've done so much work trying to ease the relationship between mutants and humans, but the fact remains that people don't trust mind readers. They don't trust kids with swords for hands, or men with horns."

"I understand where you're coming from, Mr. Stark," said Xavier. "But as I believe the saying goes, 'No one is equal until everyone is equal.'"

"Yeah," I piped up, suddenly finding my voice. "You want to hide half of us in the shadows and put the pretty ones up front?"

"Not to politicize it too much, but, something's got to change with the way you guys are being seen. It happens over and over again," He pointed out. "You take one step forward and two back."

"You sound like Magneto," Emma said, annoyed.

"Except that I stand for human rights, too," Stark said, exasperated. "There's a balance. That's what today's all about, starting to find it. And, hey, I'm by no means an expert. Just here to help."

Xavier could sense an argument brewing, so he stepped in.

"I don't believe I've formally introduced you. Maggie, Tony Stark."

Stark walked over and shook my hand exactly like I expected a businessman would. Firm and steady, and lasting just the right amount of time.

"Glad to meet you," He said, stepping back. "I wanted to thank you and the X-Men. There's a lot that the Avengers can't cover and, well, it's good to know you're out there."

"It is?" I asked quietly. "Because, I do watch the news sometimes. You put powered people in prison every day for doing what we did. For saving the day."

"SHIELD arrests untrained supers who pose a threat. The X-Men stand outside that category, as per the agreement," Stark narrowed his eyes. He clearly hadn't been expecting a debate with a bedridden kid.

"Perhaps we should leave you to rest, Maggie," The Professor was already gesturing for the others to move to the door. Stark didn't budge. He was staring me down.

"And if we're not an X-Man?" I pressed. "Do all mutants born in this country pose a threat?"

I could tell he was thinking 'yes', but he was too tactful to say so.

"Look," He ran a hand through his product-filled hair. "Maggie, was it? You don't disagree that we need better gun control in this country, right?" I nodded slowly, which appeased him. "If we let people wander around with assault rifles, unregulated, unchecked, lives will be at stake. That's just how it is. The same goes for people like us."

"All due respect, Mr. Stark…" I replied. "But you're _not '_ people like us.' You turned yourself into a gun. I was born one."

The room fell quiet, and I knew I'd gone too far. However, Mr. Stark merely smiled.

"That's why I'm here," He said, turning to his posse. "It was nice meeting you."

"You too." Everyone filed out of the room. I met Emma's eyes for a moment, and it was the first time I'd ever seen her grin. At last, it was just me and Kitty.

"I fucked up," I said, and she laughed.

"Nah, I'm bad at meeting celebrities, too," Kitty returned to sit on my bed and dealt out another hand.

* * *

Later that day, I admitted one last visitor before bedtime. Hank came in looking exhausted.

"How'd the press conference go?" I asked him while he scooted over a chair.

"Lots of talk, little action. But I'm hopeful."

"You always are."

He leaned back and gave me a knowing look.

"Did you like him?" He asked. Tony Stark?"

"I'm not sure yet."

"Neither am I," chuckled Hank. "And we've been friends for years."

He studied me for a moment, and I realized he hadn't just come to keep me company.

"I have something to ask of you," He said promptly after a moment of silence.

"A favor?" I asked. "I sure as hell owe you a dozen."

"More like an offer you shouldn't refuse."

"That's foreboding."

He took a calming breath, trying to hide his excitement in a very Hank-like way.

"Mr. Stark has officially authorized a project I've been sitting on for some time, now. Something that I believe will begin to improve mutant-superhero relations."

"Congratulations."

He pretended not to hear me.

"It would be an all-mutant task force," He announced. "A sub division of SHEILD, under the Avengers' jurisdiction. A small collection of young people, hand-picked by myself, who would aid in public outreach, mutant-related disputes and research, and other duties the Avengers can't take on themselves. It's time we started integrating more mutants aspiring to do good within SHEILD's tight-knit community."

"And you want…me?"

"If you were my first guinea pig, so to speak, I'd be honored," Hank said, putting on the charm.

"God, no, _I'm_ the one who would be honored. Hank, that's too much," I prayed I didn't start blubbering right then and there, but the medication I was on was making me loopy. "You've saved me too many times."

"This time, you'd be saving me. It's been a dream that SHIELD's been stepping on since I started working for them."

A job. He was offering me a job. Was this my luck turning? In the past few days, I'd been hurt, homeless, heartbroken, celebrated, and praised. It was confusing. I looked at the wall across from me, as though the answer would spell itself out in the plaster. Hank started to get up.

"I'll give you some time to think it—"

"I'm in." How many times had I said that this year? How many times had I been wrong? At least once more.

Hank grinned and stuck out his blue, furry hand for me to shake.

"We'll be making strides in no time, Ms. Addams," He said.

"I won't let you down this time." I wouldn't let myself down, either.

I was ready to become someone else.


	12. SHIELD (I)- Three Years Later

**A/N: Hiya! There's a bit of a time jump for this next portion of Maggie's story- it takes place _after_ the events of Infinity War and Endgame. For the purposes of this fic, I'm going to keep it canon. So MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD! **

**_What Felt like Three years Later, but was Actually Eight_**

I was two years into my job at SHIELD when Thanos snapped.

Things had been going about as well as they could've been. Even years after SHEILD's downfall following the HYDRA infiltration (I'd learned all the acronyms in my training), there was still a lot of cleaning up to do. They were being built from the ground up, and Dr. Henry McCoy saw it as the perfect opportunity to sneak a new department into the mix. There were ten of us when we started, all fresh faced mutants with bare minimum Bachelor's degrees who crammed into a cluster of cubicles on the second floor, out of everyone's way. After a year, I'd been given the title of "Program Director", though it was purely a formal attempt to get the others to focus better. There wasn't a whole lot of butt-kicking, and far more pencil pushing than I'd been prepared for.

I realized about a week in that the diversity initiative SHIELD was taking by opening our wee department was more about saving face and less about necessity. We really didn't have that much to do, aside from standing with Hank at mutant rights negotiations, writing proposals for projects that would never be green-lit, and helping out with little things around headquarters and, (if we were lucky) Avenger's Mansion. We were celebrated for the first few months, then fell into a rhythm of keeping our heads down and our work unflashy. I was okay with that, though. I'd had enough passion and bruising for a lifetime.

My last few days at the X-Mansion had been brief and uneventful. Once I could stand without stumbling, I wanted out. The fact remained that I could never feel comfortable in a place where I had done so much wrong. Every time I saw Xavier, I felt sick to my stomach with guilt. When Hank said that my new job came with the perk of a crappy New York loft near HQ, I felt like the world had opened up for me.

I had a roommate, Sonia, who was also a co-worker. We got along, but we weren't best friends. She hated doing dishes, and I hated vacuuming. It was a simple, sometimes frustrating life, but it was mine.

Somehow, I'd survived the tumultuous transition from convict, to teacher, to villain, landing at last in the position of office jockey at the world's leading special law-enforcement agency.

But I couldn't survive Thanos.

Turned out, I didn't have to.

In what felt like the blink of an eye, I had been dead for years. Me, and half the human population, apparently. I only remember shutting my eyes on the subway, then waking up to a completely changed planet.

Tony Stark was dead. The old Captain America was out, and the new Sam Wilson Cap was in. SHIELD was picking up the pieces, and trying to go back to their old policies and regimes. It was harder after we'd all been saved by the very superhumans they'd been trying to imprison, but bad press didn't stop them.

On the news, people compensated for the trauma of what had happened by sharing stories of families reunited and celebrations for the war heroes. That didn't last long, though. In the year that flew by after we'd all come back to life, optimism turned stale.

When we came back, all of the problems that were there before did too. And then some.

Spouses who had just begun to move on were faced with a choice between their old love or their new flame. Families who adopted abandoned children had to say goodbye to the babies they'd raised for five years when their real parents returned. People came home to dead dogs who hadn't been fed, and people came home to heartache that would never heal.

I was one of the lucky ones. I hadn't left anyone behind.

Normal would never be a thing we returned to. But the world could pretend. We all were getting really good at that. It had been a year since I'd returned to the mortal realm, and I was just glad to be alive.

At 8:30am that day, my alarm went off. Same as always. I schlepped myself out of bed, into a decent outfit, then into the kitchen. Sonia was lying on the couch, still in her T-shirt and underwear.

"Hey. You're not going in today?" I asked, pouring a bowl of cereal.

"I'm calling in sick," Sonia yawned. "That meeting last night went for- _ever_. The X-Corp execs are probably the most boring people I've ever interacted with."

"That's just the LA branch. They get all hepped up on rules," I smiled. "If we get the okay to open the Jersey office, I bet they'll be a lot more fun."

The X-Corporation was a world-wide social institution, founded by Xavier himself, intended to protect the welfare of mutant populations in various communities. When I was little, I used to worry my parents would drop me off at one of them and leave me to the unforgiving hand of foster care. But, the organization actually did a lot of good. We worked with the directors of all establishments on outreach, funding, and brainstorming ideas for expansion.

"Jersey Shore: Mutant Edition. I'd watch that show," Sonia said.

"I feel like they can't say no. If we have the space—"

"Can we _please_ not talk about work on my day off?" She covered her face with her hands.

"Sorry. I've just been working on this proposal for like a month," I sighed. Sonia gave me an empathetic look.

"It's gonna happen," she said. "Besides, you're Hank's favorite. He can't say no to his precious number two."

"He _has_ said no to me, and he'd do it again. And stop being jealous, it makes me feel icky…"

"I'm not jealous! Girl, while you had to sit on that panel with Dr. McCoy at the Javits Center last week, we got to meet the new Captain America!"

"I heard he only came by the office for two seconds," I wrinkled my nose.

"He asked my name and thanked me for my service."

"Pff," I snorted, pretending to be unimpressed. "Doesn't count unless you got his number."

"Maybe I did," Sonia pouted.

Our jobs did entail crossing paths with the Avengers, but it was always a surprise when one of them remembered we existed. We weren't trained as SHIELD agents or official protectors, but once in a while we were given the chance to show off our abilities. Corralling prisoners, investigating a super-powered creep downtown…The stuff no one really makes movies about.

"Ah, shit, I'm running late," I said, rubbing my watch as if that would turn back time. "See you tonight."

"Pick up some eggs, pleeeeaase!" I gave Sonia a thumbs up before swinging the door shut.

The commute was insanely easy. Two train rides away and a five block walk to where the new headquarters were surreptitiously located. I always felt really cool strutting into the building, ID card swinging from my belt loop. The facility wasn't dramatic from the outside, for obvious reasons, but stepping into the lobby was like being transported to the future. In addition to my ID card, I also had to provide a retina scan and a thumb print at security every morning. It was pretty much my favorite part of the day.

I took the elevator, which had the floor numbers outside instead of in, a design I refused to get used to. It wasn't a far climb to the second floor, but I rarely felt up to it. Our office was at the end of a long hallway that felt like a passageway on the Death Star. It was so small that it felt overcrowded on days when all ten of us were at our desks. I shared a cubicle wall with this guy Nick, an accountant with the power of aquatic adaptability. This morning I found him on my side of the fake wall, using my stapler on a fat pile of documents.

"Yes, Nick, you can use my stapler," I said snottily. He rolled his eyes.

"Don't be a dick," He said, but he put it down. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"What do you mean?"

"You didn't get Hill's email? The schedule's been updated. You're on alien-prisoner duty today."

"Wha-? No," I whined. "C'mon, I can't. I'm _so_ close to finishing this fucking Jersey proposal! The meeting is tomorrow."

"Not my fault you're the only man for the job. When they beckon, you cometh," Nick smirked. "I'll look over the thing with Karen, don't worry about it."

"You're a saint, sometimes," I grinned and turned on my computer. At the top of my inbox, there was an email labeled URGENT. I skimmed it over and sighed. "Looks like I gotta go pick him up from Bleeker Street. Can you order me a turkey sub for lunch?"

My phone buzzed in my pocket and in a stressful flurry I pressed it to my ear after a quick glance at the caller ID.

"Hank, hey," I said, sliding my purse back on and starting to walk back out of the office. "What's up?"

"Rhodes has requested a meeting with you this afternoon."

I stopped dead in my tracks, almost tripping over my own feet. Since Stark's death, the War Machine had taken on most of his former super-duties. That meant he was the new head honcho, second only to Commander Hill.

"Um, why? What did I do?" I asked.

"Nothing! No, it's not _bad_ ," Hank chuckled on the other line. "Actually, my understanding is he has an assignment for you and some members of the team."

"Oh. Okay? That's a little out of the blue."

"He knows you, and what you can do. There's no need to be modest," He said it like being modest was a bad thing.

"It's not modesty," I defended. "It's just…weird."

"I know. Meet me at four on the fifth floor commissary?"

"I'm babysitting today." I could practically hear his gloating smile.

"Ahh, good luck," said Hank. "That rarely lasts past three, though, doesn't it?"

"Yeah," I grumbled.

"You're not getting out of this meeting, Maggie. Just try to embrace it. And have fun with the little prince."

Getting a cab to Greenwich Village was not as fun as the ride into work had been. I could feel the day getting worse and worse with each crawling second.

The doors of the weird townhouse flew open before I had reached the second step. No one was in the foyer, but the mysticism didn't startle me as much anymore. I looked around, blowing puffs of air out of my cheeks. I heard a small scratch at the top of the grand staircase and looked up to see a small black head peering down at me. A Scottish terrier, not unlike Toto.

"Hey there, fella," I said in a cutesy voice. "Wanna go for a walk?"

He growled at me, then ran off.

"What's _she_ doing here?" I heard him hiss to someone in the next room.

Stephen Strange appeared, his magician's cape curling around his shoulders as he descended the stairs. The dog followed him, struggling down every step.

"Thank you for coming," Stephen said briskly. "Ms…?"

"Addams. Maggie Addams. And sure, no problem. It's my job."

"I thought I was _helping_ you, Strange," The dog said haughtily. "You had to go and call in a prison keeper?"

"Hey, we have fun, don't we?" I protested.

"Last week you rendered me unconscious for three hours because I looked at you funny."

I shrugged.

"You can't blame me for being cautious."

Strange was already at the door, clearly itching to get out.

"I appreciate your assistance today, but I must be somewhere else and you can't be left unsupervised," He said to the animal. "You two already know each other, yes? She'll just return you back to the mansion," He looked to me. "I presume you've been briefed on security protocol with him?"

"Oh, yeah," I side-smiled to the dog. "He and I go way back."

"Of all my wardens, you're my least favorite," the pooch sniveled.

"Good," Strange smiled and ducked out without another word. Just like that, I was trusted with one of the strongest forces in the universe, all because I had the measly power of sedation. I kept tabs on his neural energy, which was so much different from the brains from Earth I usually encountered. It had taken some getting used to.

"Alrighty, then," I clapped my hands together. "Leash."

"I am _not_ wearing that stupid harness!"

"Woah, someone's in a bad mood."

The dog barked twice, and before my very eyes he shifted into the form of a man with black, slicked back hair and a snarl.

"Loki," I held my hands up, trying to look like I was backing off when really I was preparing to collapse his energy. I would never let on, but the God of Mischief terrified me. My childhood friends had lost family when he attacked New York. I'd seen the aftermath of his destruction, and had been afraid to leave the house for days after. But, he could never know any of that. If I didn't keep my cool around him, he could easily strike me down. "Can we not do this today?"

"Is my foul disposition inconvenient for you? I apologize. Perhaps I'd feel better if I weren't…Oh, I don't know. Stuck on this godforsaken planet?!"

"Well, it's not like we want you here anymore than you do," I snapped. "Just…get into dog-formation and we'll go back to the mansion."

"Or what?" He always liked to hear me threaten.

"Or I'll knock you out and draw gratuitous pictures on your face with a Sharpie until Doctor Weird comes home."

Loki considered this for a moment, but reluctantly shrank back down into the terrier. I found his leash on the staircase.

"You're wearing this," I insisted. "No dog freely walks around the city."

"I feel for them," He growled, but he let me put it on.

There was a collar around his neck, not unlike the inhibitor collar I had once worn. This one was much more powerful, and alerted Loki's facilitators of his every move. It was an augmented electric shock collar that rendered him powerless when he set a toe out of line. I'd only seen it used once, and he never tried anything to upset the collar since. He may have been stubborn and brooding, but he wasn't masochistic. Technically, I was just an extra precaution. Someone to keep him from running.

I didn't know the whole story because I didn't have to. Basically, Thor was surprised to find his brother had ended up on Earth, after believing him to be dead. With their home planet destroyed, the lost god had nowhere else to go. But, since he still hadn't answered for his crimes of 2012, SHEILD had him locked up tight. The Avengers came to an agreement with him, because apparently he'd helped them out, or showed signs of reforming, or whatever. He could live in the Avengers Mansion under strict rules and regulation. He was a prisoner with special privileges, which couldn't be said for most of the villains locked up in the Negative Zone. If Loki lent his powers to a good cause, he was allowed out of the mansion. Otherwise, he stayed in there like the stir-crazy puppy he was. He didn't know how good he had it. Spoiled prince.

"You look tired," noted Loki as we waited on the street corner for the official shuttle to come pick us up.

"And you have slobber on your chin," I said coolly. The long day just kept getting longer. "What were you doing with Strange?"

"He's working on locating the remaining Asgardian population. I think Thor just wanted to keep me occupied, because the wizard clearly has nothing so far."

"I'm sorry," I said, and I meant it. "They've got to be out there somewhere."

"You don't know that," Loki sighed. "But…thank you."

When we reached the grounds of the mansion, dog-Loki ran as fast as his paws could carry him to the side door. A green light clicked on his collar, and a little dog door imbedded in the metal slid open. I, of course, had to go through the whole ID card, eye scan, and thumb-print ordeal again to get the human-sized door to unlock.

The mansion seemed pretty empty, save for a few roaming agents and housekeepers. I hated the place. All that money spent on an elite colony for heroes who only met there once a month and hardly filled their beds. Loki was already back in his humanoid form and stretching his arms with a sour look.

"The all fours routine is really starting to ache," He complained, slumping in a sleek black arm chair in the entryway.

"But you look darn cute," I said. I pulled out my phone and grimaced when I saw that I only had two hours until the meeting.

"Drink?" Loki strolled to the staircase, where the bar, entertainment center, and bedrooms resided just one floor up.

"I'm on the job."

"I thought your job was keeping me occupied."

"Jeez, only sometimes. I actually have to bounce, I've got a super important meeting. C'mere so I can set your collar to roaming," When the villain was inside the house, he was allowed to wander free. If he transformed, poked his nose out the door, or used any of his powers, he'd be zapped.

"Who could possibly be more worthy of your time than I?" Loki smiled slyly, but stepped forward and leaned down so I could punch in the security code on the back of his neck.

"A _real_ dog," I said. That earned me a laugh that sounded more mocking than gleeful.

"I suspect you're a lot more fun than you let on," He raised an eyebrow. I looked at the cloudy eyed killer and grinned.

"I sure hope so. See you around."

He gave me a stiff, nonchalant wave and stalked up the stairs. I exhaled deeply as I turned to the exit. I felt like I'd been holding my breath the entire time. The more I got to know the alien god, though, the more at ease I was with him. All of his atrocities rang in my head every time he was near, but I was beginning to see a whole person instead of the two-dimensional monster that had been painted for me. That came with a lot of guilt, but guilt I was used to.

I made it back to the SHIELD base with minutes to spare. Hank led me up to a penthouse office, where I immediately felt out of place. I didn't belong two feet outside the head honcho's private quarters, let alone _in_ them. What the hell did they want with me? Hank and I took a seat by the assistant's desk and I hoped she couldn't hear my heart beating against my rib cage.

It hadn't been long enough since the night I'd been stabbed. Since the last night I'd seen Jamie. I was still me. Whatever Rhodes had in mind to ask me, I sure as hell wasn't worthy.


	13. SHIELD (II)- An Assignment

"Dr. McCoy? Commander Hill and Colonel Rhodes will see you now."

When we walked in, he was standing with his back to us facing the wall of windows and looking like a stoic noir hero. He looked much less menacing without his gray armor. Commander Maria Hill sat in an armchair looking menacing as ever, but otherwise the room was uncomfortably empty for its size. I rubbed my watch anxiously. It covered the scar from my burn well enough that I wore it everywhere I went, but it had become somewhat of a pacifier.

"Hank," Hill said, standing up with her hand outstretched. "Thank you for coming in today." Not even a side glance at me.

Colonel Rhodes on the other hand, turned and smiled at both of us.

"James Rhodes," He introduced himself, accompanied by a limp handshake. "Glad you could make it, Doctor. Word is, you're a tough man to find these days.

"I was only gone for a weekend," McCoy said, rolling his eyes. "You know my work lies mainly outside the office."

"You could say the same for me, yet here I am, day in and day out."

"Are you going to start a guilt trip, Rhodes? Not a good way to ask me for a favor," Hank grinned and took a seat, motioning for me to do the same. Hill and Rhodes followed suit.

"That's fine, because I'm actually asking _her_ for a favor," Rhodes nodded to me. "It's your task force we're interested in."

" _Yes_ ," Hill jumped in before the man could keep talking. "We require assistance on a highly sensitive matter, and have determined members of your department may be best suited to provide it."

"Oh?" Hank folded his hands on his lap and leaned forward. "The same department you denied extra funding to last month? I don't think they were pleased about not getting their bonuses, and Maggie can attest to that."

I tried not to smile. He was always looking out for us, no matter how many other places his mind had to be.

"You're still a new asset," Hill said, this time looking at me. "And frankly, not a priority within SHIELD. That being said, this particular case requires forces that our usual agents simply do not possess. Do this for us, and we'll reconsider your financial needs as a unit. May we proceed?"

"A request you can't even ask of your own people doesn't sound like something I'd want to risk," I finally spoke.

"Just tell them, Maria," Rhodes said, sliding a tablet over to Hill. She gave him a stern look, but tapped away at the square. She dragged a projected image from the screen into the air in front of us. It looked like a glowing metal tube.

"One of our field patrols discovered this item in Egypt during a dispatch," Hill explained. "It shows signs of radioactive decay, preserved only by the encasing. As far as we know, it's a terrestrial substance, meaning no alien involvement. That's the extent of what we can decipher, but it gives off intense energy signals that could potentially be catastrophic."

"Yeesh, are you keeping it in the building?" I asked. She ignored me.

"We need a leading expert to examine the artifact. That's where you come in."

"I can assure you no one on our team knows the first thing about radiation," I looked between her and Rhodes, confused.

"Of course not," Hill snapped. "We need you to bring him in."

I blinked, dreading where this was headed.

"Bring…who in, exactly?" I said timidly.

Another image flashed to the projection. A man with graying hair but a young face, walking between two old fashioned cars.

"Bruce Banner is currently hiding out in Havana, Cuba. Doctor Hulk is no longer an alias of his, which means he'll be in full human form. He also happens to be the only person we can rely on to provide accurate information, given his extensive knowledge of gamma rays," said Hill calmly.

"You want to send my team to hunt down the Hulk?!" Hank actually stood up from his chair as he glared down at Hill. "You refuse to train them, refuse to give them proper SHIELD ranking, and you think you have the right to drop them into battle?"

"No one said battle!" Rhodes defended at once. "This is a friend you're talking about. _Bruce_. He's been inactive for a while."

"Yes, ever since he _lost it_ in Morocco two months ago!"

"We've kept tabs on him. Monitored his movements. He hasn't gone rogue since. It's only precautionary to send powered individuals to meet with him. Morocco was a minor setback, but he's still in control."

I raised my hand because I felt like it was the politest way to get a word in.

"So, obvious question time…why don't the Avengers just bring him in?" I asked.

There was an awkward silence that darkened Rhodes' face.

"Banner hasn't cooperated with us in some time. He doesn't trust in SHIELD anymore, not since Tony and…It's just, _we_ go down there, Havana could end up in shambles."

"But," Hill cut in. "A few kind strangers meet with him, convince him _diplomatically_ to return of his own accord, it could be smooth sailing."

" _Could_ be?" I repeated. "Why us? What makes you think we'd be anywhere near successful?"

"Your team has accomplished some impressive feats since you've been established," Rhodes said. "They haven't gone unnoticed, despite how little Maria is paying you. We chose you, because you guys are…"

"Expendable?"

"I was going to say _adaptable_."

"Look, the job is this," Hill stated impatiently. "Addams, you will take Sonia Copula and Nick Gard with you down to Cuba on Friday night. Your hotel rooms and flights have been booked. All you need to do is show up and find Banner at the Marine Science Lab. You are registered as interns at the facility and will be working undercover until you gain his trust. Clear enough?"

"You've already planned this out," Hank said. "This isn't a request, it's an order."

"With your endorsement, McCoy," Maria Hill raised an eyebrow, but knew that the doctor wouldn't undermine her decision. Instead, Hank looked at me. I didn't know what to say, so I looked at Rhodes who was eyeing me sympathetically.

"It's a lot," He said. "I know. But we need him. And it's got to be you."

"You barely know what I can do," I said softly.

"You can sedate beings three times your size with the snap of your fingers. Am I wrong?"

I shuddered. "Don't say 'snap'." No one smiled.

It was suddenly clear. I was probably the only person in that building who had proven that they could take down a brute as big as the Hulk, should the situation arise. They'd used me for similar missions, once Professor X debriefed them on my abilities. I was unimportant enough to risk, but not completely defenseless.

"You won't be alone," said Hill. "A platoon of special agents will be stationed locally and direct you through the process. You'll have one month. We estimate the radioactive rod will remain dormant for at least three, but the sooner we get him here the better."

They had said their piece. All eyes fell to me, even Hank's.

"I…guess I'll get packing," I said.

"Since you'll all depart from Avenger's Mansion on Friday morning, I've arranged for you to stay there the night before," said Rhodes.

"SHIELD appreciates your service, Ms. Addams," Hill shook my hand. "Don't let these two make you doubt it." Both she and Stark had me cornered like two overbearing parents.

"You don't need to worry about the Hulk. Really, Banner won't give you trouble. Remember to use the magic words: 'The world is at stake'. That usually gets him," said Rhodes "He's a good guy. He just…hates us right now."

"And _is_ the world at stake?" I raised my eyebrows.

"Isn't it always?" Rhodes sighed. He pulled out a beeping phone from his pocket, looking relieved at the excuse to leave. "I've gotta run.

He ducked out like a man on a mission, leaving three of us behind in the gigantic office. Hill bid us farewell, thanked us one more time for good measure, and closed the door behind us herself. She seemed eager to see us go. I found that most people we met with at SHIELD were.

I was on the verge of hyperventilating as we waited for the elevator. Hank didn't say a word until we were aboard and heading down to the lobby.

"I don't think you have much to worry about, Maggie," He said quietly. "It's fairly straightforward"

"Then why does something seem so _off?_ " I blurted. "You can't tell me this isn't a weird thing to ask of us. I mean, newbies going after an Avenger? It's…"

"Fishy, I know," Hank agreed. "All I can say for certain is that the clean-up in the wake of Thanos' invasion has pushed some of the supers to their limits. I know Bruce. He's reasonable. But something went down that sent him running. Not sure what, but it's got nothing to do with you or me."

"Why is he working at a marine lab of all places?"

"Supposedly, he was invited to assist in researching the effects of toxic waste disposal on the ocean's ecosystem. I suspect he's grateful to be in a place surrounded by water. I also have a hunch that SHIELD pulled some strings to get him to Cuba so they could keep him closer. As far as he's concerned, he's just been living a simple, Hulk-free life."

I sucked in a breath.

"I'm going undercover. I'm actually going on a mission."

"Technically not undercover, since no one there knows who you are…" Hank started.

"Shut up, let me have this."

There was a reason they had chosen the only three human-passing mutants on the team for the job. Tony Stark's words from years ago rang in my head. _They don't trust kids with swords for hands, or men with horns…_

When we reached the lobby, Hank put a hand on my shoulder.

"It's going to be fine," he told me seriously. "I have every confidence in you. Think of it as a well-deserved vacation."

"You forgot the part where I have to be an intern."

"A piece of cake compared to your usual work."

I smiled. He was still the only real friend I had in this job. The only one that knew me. And I felt lost when he wasn't near, which had been happening more and more lately over the past year.

"Hank," I swallowed. "I know that you can't come. But if I need…"

"I'll be reachable."

"Thanks."

We parted ways, and I went to go face another unknown.

Sonia was, as expected, over the moon when I told her the news.

"An all-expenses paid trip to Havana? Are you fucking kidding me?!" She was jumping up and down on the couch that she had been ridden to just earlier that day. "

"I know! Chill out, though, you're going gold," I scolded. Sure enough, the tips of her bare feet were transforming into the shiny metal, making her jumps weigh down the couch even more.

"Sorry," She shook out her legs and the gold turned back into flesh. Her powers were similar to those of Colossus and Emma Frost, where she could transmute her outer body into a solid armor. In her case, she was as golden as King Midas' daughter. "It's just like, I never thought they'd have us doing _actual_ agent stuff."

"We're moving up in the world," I grinned, pulling two suitcases out of the closet and tossing them on the living room floor.

"But does Nick have to go? I feel like it'll be awkward since we slept together last weekend."

"You did _what_ now?" I was always the last to know office gossip.

"Oops. I didn't tell you?"

"Yikes, Sonia," I let out a puff of air. "Just try and keep it professional. I refuse to be a third wheel."

"Oh my gosh, never! You're the Harry Potter to our Ron and Hermione."

"It's that serious?"

"Hell no. Definitely a onetime thing. He's too lanky for me."

I threw her suitcase at her.

"Pack a bathing suit," I reminded, and she stuck her tongue out at me. All of a sudden, our quest of dire circumstance seemed like the spring break I'd never had.

Thursday night came, and we were moved into suites in Avengers' Mansion with king size beds and Egyptian cotton sheets. I saw no one of consequence—in fact, the place seemed more like a ghost town than it had earlier that week. Instead of breathing in the luxury like my two colleagues, I stayed up past midnight watching Youtube videos on my laptop in one of the many lounges.

I clicked on clip after clip of the battle of New York, when the world was first introduced to the Avengers. I only had eyes for the green goliath ripping apart Grand Central. The Hulk was celebrated as a hero, but as terrifying as a titan sent to wreak havoc on humankind. The two worst kinds of burdens to bear. I couldn't pity him, though. He had the same backstory as all of them—he willingly became a weapon by playing with forces beyond his control, even if it had resulted in something he hadn't bargained for. Meanwhile, mutants never had the choice.

I chewed on the tip of my thumb as I watched a shitty cellphone recording of a green blob smash into a building. Would I even be capable of making the monster sleep, should it come down to it?

"Still awake?" Came a voice from behind me.

I slammed my laptop shut so fast I almost crushed my fingers. I spun my neck to look over the back of the couch I was huddled on to see none other than the monster actually responsible for the battle of New York. Loki looked more casual than I'd ever seen him, wearing a silk green bathrobe that seemed out of character. His hair was straggly and he had darker circles under his eyes than last time.

"I thought you were supposed to be locked up at night," I said.

"I'm out on good behavior," His smile was chilling, but I could tell he was trying to be amicable. "I've come in search of a, what do you call it…a midnight snack."

I held up the bag of chips I'd been munching on.

"Help yourself," I offered.

He stepped closer to grab a handful, then gestured to my laptop.

"You were watching records of the Chitauri invasion," He said quietly.

"I…I was doing research," I replied, trying not to look at him. "For tomorrow."

"Ah, yes, I'd heard about your _assignment,"_ Loki took a seat on the couch opposite me. He shook his head. "I don't envy you."

"Great. Thanks."

He struggled for something kinder to say.

"The Hulk may be an unstoppable force, but Bruce? He's feeble beyond compare. Good hearted. Frail. He won't give you any trouble."

I let out a stiff laugh, remembering that he had once been on the wrong side of the Hulk's "trouble".

"I guess it helps that I'm not a supervillain whose brains he wants to bash in.

I thought I saw him shudder.

"The odds are in your favor, yes," Loki cleared his throat. "In fact, if you could take your time on your journey I would be much obliged. I'm afraid I'm not overly fond of him, for obvious reasons."

"You're really scared of him, too?" I sighed. "I must actually be fucked."

He had the audacity to chuckle.

"I'll be rooting for you," said Loki, plopping a chip in his mouth. He made a face. "I'll never get used to how much _salt_ your people put in your food."

I looked at him curiously.

"Why?"

"On Asgard, we namely eat unseasoned foods—"

"No, I meant, why are you rooting for me?"

It was his turn to look confused.

"Why do I hope you'll come back alive?" He laughed again. "As much as I loathe what you represent, you are by far the most thrilling of my guards. Your story entertains me, as does your skepticism and naivety."

"Should I be flattered?"

"Perhaps."

I fell silent for a moment, pulling my legs up to my chest and resting my chin on my knees.

"You made me afraid," I whispered. "When I saw you on TV for the first time. When I found out how many people you'd…" I took a breath. "It's different now. I could easily separate people like you into black and white back then, but…"

"Now you realize it's not so simple. There are worse things to fear."

"Yes."

We locked eyes, and it didn't feel like it usually did. Like a snake eyeing me as prey. It felt…empathetic. I realized he may have been the only person in the world who had the remotest idea what I'd been through. The switch between saving lives and desiring to end them was a battle that would forever burn inside me. He reminded me, unfortunately, of the latter half. I got up with my laptop under my arm.

"Sorry, I was rambling. I should get to bed," I said, and he nodded.

"Enjoy your escape from this hellish island. And don't bait the beast."

I didn't sleep the rest of the night. I just lay on my back on that cloud-like mattress and stared up at the gray ceiling until morning arrived too quickly.


	14. SHIELD (III)- Havana

Havana was just as nauseatingly beautiful and touristy as every movie and postcard had portrayed. The vacationer in me was ecstatic, but the college-educated skeptic wondered what the naked eye couldn't see in Cuba. Did the welcoming atmosphere extend to mutants? Maybe that's why Banner had chosen the place—he'd had enough of supers for a while. I hadn't been able to shake the guilt over being chosen over other capable mutants on my team just for looking conventional. I had to remember that guilt was worthless unless it led to action.

The moment we touched the hotel and tasted the free Wifi, I was on my phone refreshing my email every five seconds. No update on my proposal for the Jersey safe house. I nudged Nick, who was checking us in. He stood beside a SHIELD Agent who had ridden with us on the private jet and insisted on escorting us to the hotel.

"Hey, are you _sure_ the meeting went well?" I whispered loudly, ignoring the agent. "It's been days and the board hasn't said a word."

"About as well as if could've gone, Addams," Nick replied, impatiently slipping my room key card into my extended hand. "You know it always takes them a while to get back to us. Give it until next week to worry."

"Yes, can we _please_ take a moment to appreciate this?" Sonia came up to us and stretched out her arms at the grand lobby. "Havana, guys!"

It was certainly spectacular. Far more luxurious than any of the dumps Jamie and I had to squat in while on the run. It singed to think of Jamie, even in passing. I didn't think I would ever get used to his memory cropping up unexpectedly. It had gotten easier. I didn't miss him anymore, but it tugged at my heart to remember.

My room had a view of the ocean. It was exactly what I needed, but hadn't known. I wanted to enjoy it, I really did. But, for the first time in not long enough, I had homework.

I spent the night researching everything I could about Cuba's aquatic ecosystem, and was so tired the next morning that even the coffee couldn't keep my eyes during breakfast. Behind my lids I still saw Youtube videos of Octopi and Lionfish.

The lab was close by our hotel. It was small, but near the water and with a museum wing open to the public. An energetic woman greeted us at the back door with ID badges and a toothy grin.

"Dr. Tina Moss," She introduced herself. "We're so happy to have you three here."

We'd been forewarned that none of the researchers knew our true purpose for being there, so it was up to us to act the part. We were joining late in the game which didn't help us blend in, but there would be enough other interns to keep us from standing out. On the tour, we laughed at all of her jokes, said "Mm" a lot while she was giving her mission statement and describing her theses. For a compact building, there was a lot she had to show us, everything from the broom closet to the eye wash stations.

I don't remember much about that day, but I remember seeing him for the first time. We were led through a swinging door, and there he was.

"Bruce, meet the new interns."

The man didn't even look up from his microscope. He was in classic scientist mode, exactly as I had pictured him, lab coat and all.

"Interns?" Bruce said distractedly, adjusting the focus. He spoke in a wavering voice. "Don't we already have those?"

"These three are joining us for the new season. They're coming from the marine science graduate program at MIT."

That got the doctor's attention. He looked up, even lifting his hands off of the slide in the microscope. He gave us each a fleeting smile, then rubbed his hands together nervously.

"Right, right," Bruce said. "Good to, uh, have you all on board," He sounded like he wasn't sure, as he appraised us. "I have to be honest, my work over here won't be too flashy or exciting."

"He's being bashful," Tina said playfully. "He only came in a few years ago and already he's made more discoveries about toxic absorption in coral populations than Sylvia Earle made in her entire career!"

We all laughed like we knew who the hell Sylvia Earle was.

"What are you looking at now, doctor?" Sonia made the first move, gesturing to the little orange hunk on his microscope slide.

"Just some Elkhorn coral," He said, like it was no more interesting than a drop of water.

"Dr. Banner is in the midst of proving why predators prefer mainly Elkhorn populated reefs to other coastal groves," Tina piped up, proud to show him off.

"Fascinating," Nick was careful to keep his sarcasm opaque.

"And that's, um, important since that species is still recovering from disease," I spilled out, a Wikipedia article popping into my head all of a sudden. "Right?"

"That's what I'm trying to figure out," Banner said, looking at me for the first time. His eyes were sadder than I expected them to be, but alert. "White band wiped out a bunch of them, but I have my suspicions about what caused the outbreak. Still trying to narrow down what kind of chemical pollution or radiation they were exposed to."

We all nodded enthusiastically, not having enough knowledge to proceed in an academic conversation on the topic. Bruce had already been slowly drifting back to the safety of his microscope, ready for us to exit. Tina got the hint.

"We'll leave you to it," She said, patting him on the shoulder. I caught him visibly flinch, but she didn't notice. My heart skipped a beat at his movement, forgetting that he wouldn't be there if he couldn't handle a sportive tap. I looked back at him as we continued through the lab, fearing that if I didn't keep my eye on him, something might happen. I was nowhere near ready to trust him, but I was curious. He wasn't what I'd been anticipating at all. He was far more complex a creature than the Hulk. Our eyes met again, and I quickly turned my head to the front, hoping he didn't think I was staring. Which I had been.

We were gone from his sight as quickly as we'd come. Tina brought us into a dull, square room lined with filing cabinets that loomed over us like ugly skyscrapers.

"Today I'll just have you guys start filing this research," She patted a messy stack of papers on a metal table. "It's all in alphabetical order."

"Haven't you heard of a computer?" Nick asked, looking around the crap-filled room in disgust. Tina laughed half-heartedly.

"It's more fun than it looks. And tomorrow, you'll get to sit in and observe some of the lab work. We may even have you help out with taking inventory of the marine animals in our care!" She sounded like she was giving us a real treat.

"Thanks, Dr. Moss," I said, trying to match her energy.

"Of course! I need to head back, but I'll be a stone's throw away if you need anything." With that, her black pony tail swung around and out the door.

"This is going to be excruciating," Sonia declared, picking up one of the papers. "I've got something here on Eels."

Nick slid open a drawer and held out his hand. "And here's 'E'. Wow, gang, this sure is rewarding work!"

They snickered and I sighed.

"Are they just going to store us in this closet until they need us?" I looked at a leaflet on seaweed spawning.

"You haven't interned anywhere before, have you?" Sonia said. "This is par for the course."

"How are we expected to _befriend_ Banner when we're not even working at the same level?"

"That's for us to find out," Nick shrugged. "Just keep spitting marine facts at him, I'm sure he'll fall head over heels in no time."

"I just get the feeling that SHIELD sent us on mission impossible, here," I grumbled.

Sonia and Nick looked at each other, like they were parents trying to decide how to tell their kid that Santa didn't exist.

"Maggie," Sonia boosted herself up onto the table. "They've treated us like shit from the start. You don't think that maybe they sent us because they knew we would fail? Because they wanted us to be the guinea pigs?"

I paused, because that was exactly what a part of me had been thinking. I just didn't want to admit it.

"They wouldn't waste time like that," I defended, forcing myself to remember the pulsing energy rod waiting back in New York. "There's a lot at risk."

"I don't think they see it as a waste," replied Sonia. She was fiddling with a loose strand on her sweater to avoid looking at me. "They've got their agents stationed all around Cuba. The only thing they really need us for is to coax him out into the open."

"What, like, make him hulk-out in public?" Nick frowned.

"I feel like they might be counting on it," she nodded. "Then there's legal reason to bring him back to HQ."

My stomach plummeted as her fears confirmed mine. But it wasn't my job to seem weak.

"Look," I said, taking a deep breath. "Whatever their hopes are, we have our orders. Let's just stick to them, and worry about conspiracy later."

Nick smirked and tapped Sonia with a manila envelope.

"Told you the teacher's pet won't say a word against SHIELD," He muttered.

We finished our work in silence. When we left the building at five o'clock, I could still see Banner through a glass window working at his lab, just as we'd left him hours ago. He heard the hallway door open, and his head snapped up, eyes landing on me. Instead of letting my racing heart lead me out of there without interaction, I raised my hand to wave. He smiled for a fraction of a second, and returned the gesture. The chill that had swept over me melted instantly.

That night, alone in my dark hotel room, I checked my work email over and over again until finally my inbox lit up. A response to my proposal. The entire department had been cc'ed. I skimmed it over.

"Denied" was the only word I could process. I dropped my phone onto the carpeted floor and fell asleep in a ball, hoping the covers would envelop me and take me somewhere else.

Nick and Sonia were bummed about the New Jersey X-Corps project being trashed, but as we ate our continental breakfast I felt my fury stewing through every part of my body. They weren't nearly angry enough. It wasn't fair.

In the lab, we were counting starfish and tetras and a bunch of other colorful creatures I didn't recognize. Their tanks were grimy and uncomfortable. It wasn't fair.

I put my hand on an aquarium of pompanos, and looked at their emotionless eyes. I wondered if that's how SHIELD saw us. Pets that needed to be occupied and fed. Where were they when mutants had needed them most? Why was I helping _them?_ I didn't know where the darkness was coming from, but it was spreading through me like a disease. The scar where I'd been shot hurt for the first time in years. It hurt like I was being shot all over again, but I only winced.

That was it. A wince was all it took. In the short second that I was blind with pain, all five pompanos in the tank had gone belly-up. I ripped my hand from the glass and stared in horror at the mass murder I had just committed. It had to have been me. I could still feel my finger-tips tingling with energy. How…? Never had I taken a life before with my abilities. I didn't even know it was possible. I started hyperventilating. I felt the other interns and researchers starting to turn their eyes to me.

"Maggie?" Sonia was closest to me, and she whispered gently. "Everything okay?"

"I…the…" I numbly pointed at my tank and her eyes went just a bit wide at the sight of the fish bodies.

Another presence came up behind me, an unfamiliar one.

"Huh," Bruce Banner said, sounding strangely impressed and annoyed. "All dead?"

I kept my eyes on the floor as he came around to examine the damage.

"I'm sorry," I said hoarsely.

"You should be," He said, his tone still light. "You must have killed them with your stare."

"I'm s—" I tried to say again, but he chuckled and waved me down.

"I'm messing with you. Something must've gotten into their filter," He turned to the rest of the room. "Louise and I are gonna have to check to systems." Tina nodded ferociously.

"Let's take lunch, then, folks," She said, summoning everyone out of the room.

No one had seen me do it. No one had any logical reason to believe I'd done it. But I had, and I wanted someone to blame me for it. To punish me.

Sonia was still looking at me, concerned. I couldn't take her patronizing eyes, so I ran from the room, through the door opposite the one others were filing out of. It led me to the hallway outside the bathrooms. I pressed my head against a tile and pushed down on the water fountain lever without taking drink. I knew my roommate had followed me.

"What happened?" She whispered. I didn't have to look at her to know she was surveying the area, making sure we were completely alone.

"I don't know," I admitted. "I just freaked, okay?"

"I've never known you to 'just freak', Addams. What, are you like, going through something?"

"Sometimes when I get emotional, my powers spaz. It's not like that doesn't happen to _you!"_ I felt like she was attacking me.

"Yeah, but I've never committed fish-murder. Did you even know that could happen?"

I thought back through to early childhood, when my parents would only let me own the smallest of pets. I'd held hamsters at friends' houses, pressed my face against the glass at an aquarium. No creature had ever fallen at my hand.

"No," I said softly.

"Maybe you should call Hank."

"He doesn't need to know," I brushed off at once. "Besides, I don't want to have to tell him about the project rejection."

"Look, we're all pissed about that," Sonia agreed. "But it's not the end of the world."

"Fuck, Sonia, it could be the end of dozens of mutant children's worlds in the tristate area!" I latched onto my anger. "More goddamn kids are going to end up on the street because I couldn't convince some stupid board to give us money!"

Sonia narrowed her eyes.

"Oh my god, don't start playing the tragic hero. All of us worked hard on that, you're not the only one who took a hit here."

"Then why does it feel like _I'm_ the only one who cares?" I was yelling now.

"Fuck you," Sonia spat. "Y'know, not all of us came from Xavier's precious little pocket. Just because you don't know what it's like to fight and fail sometimes doesn't mean you get to act like a bitch when you do."

That stung like a new wound. That was what she thought of me, a pampered X-Brat who didn't know how to lose.

"You have no idea what I've been through," I said venomously.

"Because you never tell me!" She held out her hands like that was the point she'd been trying to make all along. "I _live_ with you, you think I don't can tell that you're bottling up a ton of fucked up shit? _That's_ probably why your powers flip out on you, you keep acting like everything's okay when it's not."

"You're not my therapist, okay? I'm _fine_."

"Says the girl who just haywire."

"I'm allowed to feel things!"

"But you're not allowed to lose control! Get your shit together!"

I was about to scream when the door opened, making us both jump. Nick poked his head in.

"Guys, now's not the time," He whispered. "Tina's looking for us."

Sonia and I exchanged a brief glance before we nodded and followed him back through the door.

We didn't talk for the next day. I'd damaged the only friendship I had available to me, and what was worse was I couldn't get past the fear of killing more marine life.

I spent the next few days with my head down, doing my work in silence. I couldn't even bring myself to pursue Bruce, though I managed a few two-word conversations with him when he came by. The field agents checked in with us every night, and every night it was the same update: no update.

Sonia and Nick had been making more headway than I. Nick, being an aquatic figure himself, climbed his way to the top of the social ladder in the lab almost immediately by impressing the others with marine mammal trivia. Sonia was outgoing as ever, and could get anyone to talk to her. I was aloof.

Nick pulled me aside one day.

"Everyone's going out tonight," He said in a low voice. "Sonia and I are going to try and get Banner to go, but Tina says he never does work outings. If you see him, invite him. Befriending him outside the lab is the best strategy."

"Got it," I said, surprised by his initiative. "Since when are you the plan guy?"

"Since you've checked out."

I took a breath.

"I'll do better. I've just been a little off, it won't last."

"Good. We need you," He sighed like he hated to admit it. "Let's just do this thing and go home."

"Agreed."

"And," Nick sidestepped my exit attempt. "Not that it's my place, but you owe Sonia an apology."

"I know."

"She's looking out for you."

"I know."

He smiled and winked, grateful the conversation was over.

I finished filing early and excused myself to the outdoor balcony overlooking the ocean. I don't know how long I was out there, squishing my palms against the metal railing and breathing in the bitter water. I didn't even hear the door open and close behind me, or register that Banner had joined me until he cleared his throat.

"You're still here? I thought everyone was heading into town," He said, leaning on the rail a good few feet away from me.

"Lost track of time," I said. I rubbed my salt-battered watch anxiously. "What's your excuse?"

"I don't really do the whole…'going out' thing," Banner squinted at me in the sun, but he was smiling. "Remind me of your name again?"

"Maggie."

"Maggie, right, that was it," He acted as though he should've known. "I, uh, I'm glad I caught you, actually. There's something I want to ask you about. You can let me know if I'm prying."

My heart started thumping quickly again. A panic attack seemed to be my default these days. I swallowed, but nodded.

"Those fish you were monitoring a few days ago," He said, rocking back and forth slightly to the tune of the waves. "They'd just been tested that morning for radiation. It all came back clear. Then, a few minutes with you standing by, and they're goners."

"I don't know what happened," I said too quickly.

"Freak accidents happen, I'll—heh—I'll give you that," He looked kind and scared at the same time. "I wouldn't have even looked into it if I'd had something better to do. I thought maybe bad food, a collective scare….but…you know what I found out the cause of death was?"

I stood silently, awaiting my verdict. Banner was still smiling, and somehow that held me steady.

"Over-exposure," He announced. "To electromagnetic emission."

I bit down on my lip and pretended the words had no meaning to me.

"Huh," I replied emptily.

"Yeah," Banner turned away from me to face the water again. "So, either that tank, out of all the others, wasn't being read right, _or_ …" He sighed. "They were hit with a sudden, weird level of gamma rays that their little bodies couldn't handle."

"And you don't think there's a chance your readings were off?" I raised my eyebrows.

Bruce paused while he tried to surmise if I was dumb or hiding something.

"What are you?" He cut right to the chase. He didn't look angry (god forbid) or disgusted, just curious. "A freak accident? Is that why you're here, to find me?"

I backed up inadvertently.

"N-no, I…" I couldn't blow my cover. But what did blowing my cover look like? "It's none of your business."

"Well, you did kill my fish. I just want to know how, and where that radiation came from."

I couldn't keep it from him, now that he was suspicious. If I didn't tell him, I'd never build any sort of relationship. I could do it without telling him who I was.

"Me, okay?" I struggled to keep my voice level. "They came from me."

Even though it was the answer he'd expected, surprise still took over his face.

"…But that's not possible, is it?" He was arguing with himself. "Anyone with that much gamma exposure should be dead." He would know, I thought ruefully.

"I wasn't _exposed_ to anything. I was born this way," I hated explaining myself to other people. It hardly made sense to me. "You know how all brains give off waves at certain frequencies? Mine…mine happen to be higher than others."

"You're a mutant." He understood at once. I didn't respond, suddenly embarrassed to confirm or deny.

We stood side by side, staring at the choppy blue abyss below while we both tried to wrap our heads around what just happened.

"Don't worry," Bruce said finally. "I won't tell anyone."

"Thanks," I breathed. He was going to be on my side about this. "And I am sorry about your fish."

He laughed gently and it sounded genuine.

"I know what it's like to have to keep secrets," was all he said, and I couldn't even tell him how much I sympathized. "But you're safe here, so long as you keep it under control."

Those words sounded like a chant he'd had to play on repeat in his own mind. I said nothing.

"So…" Banner was trying not to sound pushy, but I could sense his eagerness to hear more. "You can control all of your brain's energy waves? Alpha, beta, gamma, delta, theta?"

I blinked.

"I have to be honest, all of that just sounded like a shitty frat house name."

"Ah, sorry," He chuckled while he ran his hand through his messy hair. "Not a neuroscientist? You'd think you'd want to learn more about what you can do."

"I prefer knowing as little as possible," I stabbed at a joke, to which he merely smiled and nodded. I could see his eyes light up, though, as if I was a new project that had just appeared wrapped in a bow in front of him.

He was starting to back away towards the door, and I found that I didn't want him to leave.

"Aren't you coming out tonight?" I asked as his hand pushed against the glass.

"I've got work to do. Maybe next week," Banner said. "Go on ahead, you're going to love Havana at night. The music is amazing. And, er, I do hope sometime you'll tell me more about your…" He hesitated, trying to find the right word. "…gifts."

"They've been more nuisances than anything else."

"Most gifts are."

I half-waved as he left me alone on the balcony. I realized in that instant that I'd made more progress in ten minutes than I had in five days. All I had needed was something to pique the scientist's interests, and I should've known from the start that a hero who had gone years in isolation from other super-powered humans would be engrossed at the sight of one.

I got to the bar after sunset, my coworkers mostly already drunk and dancing. I found Sonia out on the patio, sipping a margarita and staring at the falling night sky.

"I'm sorry," I said in lieu of a greeting. "I was being a bitch. The fish fiasco threw me for a while there."

She paused and considered me.

"Apology accepted. After you buy me a drink,"

I grinned.

"Finish your first and we'll talk."

She waved her half-empty glass.

"Second."

We sank into two cabana chairs by a potted palm frond, things starting to feel back to whatever our normal was. I was already ready for the night to be over. Nick sauntered over, still laughing from his previous conversation.

"Ladies," He tipped his pint towards us as he dropped on the seat opposite me.

"Banner didn't show," Sonia said, scouring the crowd for our target.

"No," I said, a smile twitching at the corners of my lips. "But I have him on lockdown."

"Oh?"

"He found out about my powers."

"What? Oh my god—"

"Wait, listen," I held up a hand. "For all he knows, I'm just a lowly intern who happens to be a mutant. But, he's curious. I think he's been starved for superhuman attention."

Sonia pondered this.

"Duh," She cracked up. "Dude's probably glad he's not the only freak around."

"He's also a total nerd," Nick agreed. "Probably wants to study you."

"Ooh, that sounds wrong," laughed Sonia.

"Should we, like, all tell him we're mutants?" Nick wondered, swishing his beer around in a mini-whirlpool.

"He might think something's off if we _all_ do it," I leaned my hand against my cheek. I wished Banner hadn't caught me red handed. It would've given me more time to think things through.

"Yeah," Sonia said. "Maggie's going to have to be the one to convince him."

" _What?_ What happened to doing this all together?"

"One on one is way less aggressive than three on one. Use your womanly wiles," Nick teased. "Seduce him."

"Jokes aside," Sonia eyed him with a smirk. "It makes the most sense. We'll be back-up, and keep those agents off our asses while you gain his trust. We'll invite him out in a few weeks' time, and ask him then."

It seemed like a plan with holes, but it was the only one we had. Nick and Sonia looked so confident, though it may have been the booze. I didn't want to wreck that, so I gave her a thumbs up.

"To team mutie," I said. They raised their glasses.

"Team mutie," they echoed.


	15. SHIELD (IV)- Trust

I was at Bruce Banner's lab station every day that next week. As anticipated, his interest in my mutation spring boarded an interest in, well, _me_. I only had to wait a day for him to personally request my assistance in his research, though I knew he wasn't after me for my scientific skills. I wiped down his slides, handed him bits of coral, wrote down numbers that were meaningless to me, and listened to him try to solve two mysteries at once.

"If your DNA allows a physical expulsion of the typical energy fields in your mind, the rest of your body would have to adjust accordingly," He had muttered to himself and me, ripping open some litmus paper. "Grab a sample from that tank over there." I brought him two beakers full, which he hardly acknowledged. "But you say you can also manipulate those waves in other systems?"

"Um, yeah," It was hard to keep up with his many trains of thought. I didn't mind, though. I wanted to be analyzed, so long as I wasn't an obsession. He spoke to me about my powers with no more pressure than if he were asking me how many siblings I had.

"Ah, shoot, the pH is all off," Banner looked at the color-changing paper he'd dipped in the water samples. "Will you turn off the filtration in the little aquarium? I'm gonna have to start from scratch."

As I flicked off the bubbling mechanism in the tank, Bruce switched gears again while he washed the beakers.

"It's incredible what a mutated system can adapt to," He said. "When did your powers first manifest?"

"I was eleven when I accidentally produced my first force field," I replied. "Supposedly, that's young for kids not born to mutant parents."

He didn't look up at me much, for someone who was interrogating me. That gave me the chance to study him more in depth. He kept taking off and putting on his glasses, keeping his hands occupied at all times, and though he didn't seem outright nervous he carried himself like he was always caught in some unseen jeopardy.

Bruce was a good listener, despite his multiple-track mind.

"Have you—have they advanced at all over the course of your life?" He asked.

"I've discovered things I didn't know I could do before," I shrugged, washing my hands. "I don't know if they're new, or if I could do those things all along."

"I attended a lecture by Charles Xavier in Oxford many years ago. The concept has always fascinated me, but until I heard him speak I'd never gotten a sense of the magnitude—the sheer complexity required for a human to withstand such drastic transformations."

"I've heard that mutant births can be rough, though," I mused quietly. "Some of them don't survive past infancy."

"And those of you that do are ridiculed by society," Banner smirked for the first time. "It doesn't seem so fair, does it?"

"So much for the next stage of human evolution."

He was looking at me now, and I smiled at him. When I did, I realized that out of all heroes, he was the only one who could understand what it meant to be trapped in the middle of good and bad. I hated that I couldn't tell him how much I understood him, too.

That night, our field agent liaison called my room number.

"Progress report?" She asked in a bored voice.

"I can safely report progress," I massaged my forehead. "I think we'll be able to bring him to the base directly. Give me another week, tops," I looked over the phone at Sonia and Nick, but they were both biting their lips. This was all going to be on me.

The more time I spent with him, the more I couldn't drag myself away at the end of each day. After his first invitation to join him, I took the liberty of reporting to him each morning from then on. He was surprised when I showed up again after our first partnership, but he didn't complain. So, I kept coming. Our conversations began to vary from mutations and science to typical life questions and inside jokes. Bruce Banner had seven . He had a cousin, Jenifer, whom he loved very much but hadn't seen in a decade. He had been raised by his aunt, and said not a word of his parents. He was honest without revealing a single thing about himself. But he was undeniably pleasant company.

"I can't finish this," Bruce said on Friday afternoon with half a tuna sandwich in his fist. We took our lunch out onto the balcony to bask in the cool weather. He stood up and prepared to throw the meal into the ocean.

"No!" I said, laughing. "What if a tuna eats that tuna? You'll be promoting cannibalism."

"Has no one ever told you it's a 'fish-eat-fish world'?" He plunked the remains over the edge and it landed with a faint splash. He looked out at the water, then shook his head as he returned to sit by me. "We're good, the seagulls got it first."

"Greedy bastards," I said, stuffing the rest of my granola bar into my mouth.

Bruce pointed at the circle of screeching gulls that were now flying over the abandoned sandwich. "Can you feel them, too? The bird's brainwaves?"

"Mm, only a little. They're not as loud as larger brains."

"So the stupider one is…"

I laughed again. "I don't think it works like that."

We sat quietly for a moment. I knew that soon the others would start pouring onto the deck for their break, and Bruce wasn't talkative in crowds. In fact, it was only in the moments when we were alone that I could get him to address me. Otherwise, he wouldn't give me the time of day.

"My turn to ask you something, Dr. Banner," I said. "Why are you so curious about my powers?"

It was an innocent enough question, but it was also my first go at testing his limits. What he said next would hint at his level of trust in me. No part of me expected him to say "Oh, it's because I'm the Hulk", but I was so tempted to get as close as I could to that admission.

"Other than the fact that I'm a physicist who specializes in radiation?" He flexed his fingers nervously, as though deciding whether or not to share beyond his voice of reason. "I…don't know. Would it suffice to say I'm just trying to be friendly?"

"You probe me every day, am I not allowed to even wonder about you?"

Bruce swallowed and looked away, but he was nodding.

"Alright," He pursed his lips. "Let's see…When I was born, my father was irrationally worried that I was a mutant. The guy was an alcoholic, and very obviously prejudiced. I never showed any powers, but he hated me just for the possibility that I was different," He shrugged loosely, as though it was a typical story. "People shouldn't treat people like that."

"What an asshole," was all I could say.

Bruce smiled grimly.

"You don't know the half of it." Immediately, he cleared his throat, realizing he'd said too much too soon. I didn't even have time to look at him sympathetically, or wonder what kind of childhood the man had known, because we were saved by the opening of the door and a smattering of footsteps. The other interns and scientists filed out onto benches, filling the salty air with gossip and small talk. It was too beautiful a day for anyone to be inside.

"Quick announcement time," I heard Tina's voice before I saw her standing with her arms up in the air. "Louise's birthday celebration is tomorrow at Dos Hermano's at eight! This party is _mandatory_ , so that means you, too, Bruce." She pointed one finger over at us. Everyone laughed as Banner smiled sheepishly. "Be there or be fish hair!" She said with a swing of her ponytail.

"Fish hair?" I repeated when the din of isolated conversations rose again.

"Some lab joke," Bruce shrugged. "I wasn't there for it."

"You're not really _in_ on the social scene around here."

"What gave you that idea?" He chuckled slightly. "No, I like them all fine," He gestured at the others sharing the deck. "But I'm a rare sighting at office parties."

"Even mandatory ones?"

"I'll make an appearance. You going?"

"You bet."

Bruce stood up and cracked his knuckles.

"I gotta get back to work. See you around." And off he went, in a relieved rush to get out of the sun and throng. I couldn't tell if my heart was hammering from the notion that this party would be my chance to corner him, or if it had been beating that hard for the entire length of our conversation.

The second he departed, Nick and Sonia slid on either side of me on the now-roomy bench.

"He coming?" Sonia munched on an apple.

"He'll be there," I confirmed.

"Think you can get him alone?" Nick asked.

"…We'll see."

The next evening, the three of us got ready together in one small bathroom like we were prepping for a college party. It felt so pedestrian to be applying make-up, getting second and third opinions on outfits, but damned if I wasn't grateful for it. For all I knew, the night could end in disaster.

"Keep us on com," Nick told me, laying out three earpieces on the bed. "In case you need back-up. SHIELD will be tuned in, too."

"I don't think the big guy's gonna be an issue," I said, willing it more than believing it.

"I said _in case_ ," scoffed Nick. "Don't worry too much. Besides, you can just knock him out if he becomes trouble."

"Oh god, I'm getting smashed tonight, aren't I."

"In more ways than one!" Sonia came out of the bathroom with three shot glasses and a bottle of tequila. "Drink up, me hearties."

Drink up we did, just enough so that I was the perfect amount of buzzed yet still competent by the time we reached the bar. We arrived fashionably late, and the party was already in full swing. Live music was blaring, flaming shots were floating around on trays, and the interns were already reduced to their crop tops and short shorts.

I spotted Bruce seated at the bar, laughing hesitantly next to a tipsy Tina. I weaved my way over to them.

"Happy Louise's birthday," I said, grinning at the two.

"Cheers!" Tina replied. "Is she even here yet? I haven't seen her, and I'm supposed to be the host."

"We saw her on our way in," I pointed over the crowd back towards the door.

"Oof, excuse me for a sec, I better get over there," Tina grinned, swiping a hand over Bruce's shoulder as she hopped off her stool. I immediately took her place. He gave me half a smile that looked more like a wince, and turned to face the rack of liquor lining the wall behind the bar.

"Is she into you?" I started playfully, nodding back in the direction Tina had just disappeared.

"Hm?" He seemed more distracted than usual. "Oh, no. She's just a friend. And mentor. And she's married."

It was a segway to talk about relationships and love, something most normal people could broach in a casual setting. I couldn't, though. I didn't want to know, and I didn't want him to ask. Instead, I noticed his tall glass of untouched ice water.

"You don't drink?" I asked next.

"No, ah," Bruce looked over at me and my wine glass. "Depressants and I don't mix. But don't let that deter you."

"I won't," I was already taking a lengthy sip. "How does it feel to be out and about, Dr. Banner?"

"Uncomfortable," He admitted with a laugh. "And don't call me 'doctor' when I'm trying to enjoy myself."

"I don't think you're trying hard enough," I ribbed. "Do you dance?"

"I'd rather not."

"Eat birthday cake?"

"It's carrot."

I shook my head in mock-disbelief.

"Then how do you enjoy yourself?" I said.

Bruce contemplated this for a moment, before he looked at me with a roguish smile.

"How about a walk along the beach?"

We strolled along the coast with bare feet in the sand and shoes in our hands, until the music of the bar and the lights from the streets were faded into the night. I could hear voices in my ear, telling me how to proceed, warning me against going too far. I tucked a lock of hair behind my ear, and as I did so, I switched off my com. I figured I'd bought enough time before they realized they'd been tuned out.

We walked shoulder to shoulder, and his hand accidentally brushed mine. I felt a shiver where it touched, but he was careful not to let it happen again.

When we'd reached a rocky bank, he stopped short. I turned back to look at him, his expression unreadable in the dark. We were completely alone, and I felt my heart skip a beat.

"Can you tell me, now?" He asked quietly, so softly that I had to move closer to hear him. He was rubbing his hands together, the way he always did when he was anxious. I frowned, perplexed by the request.

"Tell you…what?"

"Why you're here."

I froze.

"I don't understand."

Bruce sighed and looked around the empty beach.

"I've been hunted before, I know when it's happening," He said impatiently. "Granted, it took me a while to figure it out, but the car outside my house this morning was a good enough indicator. I knew there was something off about you. Of course they'd send along the right mutant to entice me."

"Entice you? What, you think I'm live bait?" I retorted.

"I don't know _what_ you are!" It was the first time he raised his voice at me, and I jumped back, prepared for the worst. It was the wrong move. He mashed his lips together as he watched my reaction. "But, you clearly know what I am."

We stared each other down. I thought about switching my com back on, but any interference would have been a mistake at that moment. I wanted to do this by myself.

"Tell me, alright?" Bruce said again, exhaling slowly. "Who sent you? Ross?"

I dropped my 'play it dumb' act at once. Now was as good a time as any to come clean.

"SHIELD. They need you to come in."

He let out a short, dismissive laugh.

"Hill needs me to come back in, huh?" said Bruce. "Tell her I'm busy."

"Look, they need you to analyze a potentially dangerous substance—"

"Is that what they told you?" He interrupted. "That they need _Bruce Banner_? I'm not the guy they're after, I can assure you of that."

"It's true! It's the scientist they want. There's a-"

"Why would I believe you? You've only lied to me about everything."

"I never once lied," I protested. "I just…omitted some things."

"Right," He was unconvinced, and went back to surveying the area. "And what, are we surrounded now? If you've done your research, I'm sure you know that doesn't end well."

"No! I swear, we're alone. I wouldn't do that to you."

"What story is it this time? A dangerous substance, you said? Or do they need me to teach another class at NYU? That one almost got me last year…"

"I…there's something you need to examine…" I took a breath. "Why would I lie about that? I don't owe them anything."

"Then you were played," Bruce shook his head. "What they want is for me to be back in the United States so I can adhere to the laws under registration. So they can train the Hulk. Weaponize him. Make him a legal subsidiary of SHIELD. Or, answer for his crimes," He swallowed. "They've been tailing me for years. I never signed the Sokovia Accords. I know what they want."

His story made perfect sense, but I hadn't been hired to agree with him. I suddenly wondered if the image of the energy source I'd been shown before my departure had been real at all. If I'd been duped, I wasn't about to show it. Not when my entire stupid mutant department was at stake. I had to get him back under whatever pretenses I'd been given.

"C'mon, if that were the case, wouldn't they have come sooner?" I rolled my eyes, hoping it would convince him his suspicions were mere paranoia. "These are your friends, right? The Avengers…you guys are a team."

"The Avengers are a broken vase with pieces missing and wet glue barely holding it together," Bruce spat. "It's not that kind of world anymore, where there aren't consequences for being…super. Maybe it was never that kind of world. I don't know. I do know that if I keep to myself…if I stay far away from the world the Avengers keep dragging me into…fewer people will suffer."

"That's because you only see yourself as a monster."

"God, you sound just like..." He trailed off. "What's in it for you huh?"

"It's my job."

"No offense, but they didn't send an untrained mutant kid after me for no reason."

"They thought you might…overreact."

"And _you_ stand a chance against the other guy?" He asked, so incredulous at the thought that my cheeks grew hot.

"That's what they think," I said quietly.

He paused for a moment and put his hands on his hips, looking down at the ground as if the truth would be spelled out somewhere in the sand. I wondered if he was imagining it too—what a fight between the two of us would look like. He knew enough about my powers to predict, but he didn't know everything. I didn't want to see how it would play out, so I folded my arms in front of my chest and thought about all the things I'd rather be doing. When he looked up at me again, his eyes had calmed down but his jaw was stiff.

"Well, you can tell Hill that—"

"Do you wanna go for a swim?"

"I—what?"

My question caught him off guard, enough so that he dropped his defensive stance.

"A swim," I had already started unbuttoning my shirt. Bruce gawked in confusion.

"What the hell are you-? Is this some kind of a-a trick?"

"Nope," I started shimmying out of my pants, facing away from him and towards the sea. "I'm just done with this conversation. We've said what we needed to, and I don't want you to make a decision yet. There's time, still. Right now, this is just Maggie asking Bruce to go for a swim."

His mouth hung slightly open.

"Are you insane?" Was all he could ask.

"No. Maybe a little ADD."

"…I don't have a suit.

"I'm going in my underwear. It's a hot night." I was down to my grungy boyshorts and bra, leaving my clothes in a small heap on a rock. "Unless you'd rather go back to the party?" His sulk told me otherwise. I began to walk closer to the water's edge, but Bruce didn't budge.

"There might be sharks," He warned as the first wave hit my toes.

"Nothing you can't handle, right?"

I turned my back on him and waded up to my knees. Seaweed and silt danced around my legs. I heard him struggle with his clothes behind me, and soon enough the padding of his feet against the wet ground. It wasn't until he was standing next to me that I felt I had permission to look at him again. The moon shone brighter in the ocean, it seemed, than it had on land. His face was ghostly, like it was made of marble. My hands dropped to my sides and I realized he was examining me as much as I was him. I caught his eyes as they fell to the burns on my wrists, the ones I'd always kept covered. They looked like they were glowing in the light. Then, he traveled to the two scars on my side that had never healed properly. The wound from the stingray mutant had darkened veins stretching out from it to my naval, discolored by the poison that didn't spread to the rest of my body. The bullet hole from the cop was a small red line, delicate and insignificant.

Bruce looked like he was hypnotized, disturbed my scars but drawn in by them all the same. His hand was lifting ever so slightly, as if of its own accord, towards my wrist. Curious, I placed it in his gentle grasp. He looked from it, to my eyes.

"You've been through hell, haven't you." I hadn't known it until he said it. Like it was a discovery that only he could have made for me.

I smiled, and said, "And back."

My heart was beating fast, again, but I wasn't afraid.


	16. SHIELD (V)- Banner

It must have been well past midnight when we found ourselves slowly gravitating back down the beach from whence we came. Bruce hadn't said a word, and I feared any noise I made would scare him off. We had put our sandy clothes on in silence, but walked with parallel shoulders and kept each other's pace. I had several missed calls from Sonia and Nick, alternatively. I could only manage a text saying "Meet back at the hotel later," hoping it would be enough to keep them off our backs. I didn't want the night to end, but I'd made a mistake that I would have to reconcile. Turning my com off had been a rogue move. Thankfully, though, we remained alone. We didn't touch, even accidentally. Merely shared the same air and view. I watched him when he wasn't looking at me, and I was sure he was doing the same.

The stretch of beach was our last remaining haven, a place that was just ours. When we reached the pavement of the road, all fantasies dropped as quickly as they'd risen. Bruce turned to me, a cocktail of dissonant emotions and questions swimming in his features.

"Can I walk you home?" I asked before he could open his mouth.

"I don't think that's a good idea," But he remained rooted to the spot.

"I…um, I'm sorry. About not telling you sooner. I wanted you to know me, first. It seemed...I don't know. Fair."

"I'm not sure I know anything about you, anymore," He said stiffly.

"I've told you more about myself than possibly anyone, if that helps."

"Because you wanted to, or because it was the job?"

I bit down on my lip.

"I'll tell you whatever you want to know." I tried to convey as much sincerity into the words as I could without weakening. "Just ask. I promise, it's only because I want to."

Bruce sighed and put his hands on his hips.

"Do you even like marine biology?"

I couldn't help but laugh, and he, reluctantly, did too.

"It's pretty cool," I said, grateful for the departure from the problem at hand. "I studied communications, though. In school." I took a breath. "And…I'm from Maryland. I don't have any siblings. My parents were always afraid of me, and cut ties as soon as they could. I'm allergic to cats. I don't like tomatoes. I have a birthmark on my toe that looks like a lima bean. I…"

Whether it was to shut me up, or because he wanted to, I'll never know. But in the next moment he was kissing me, and I met him with equal ardor. Bruce pulled back too quickly, and for a second I wasn't even sure it had really happened. He looked frightened, like he had just punched me instead of the opposite.

"No…" He said at once. "Sorry, no. I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry. It's been a weird night."

"Wait…" I said softly, leaning back in, but he practically jumped away from me.

"I mean it," Bruce warned. "I can't. And you need to leave." As usual, I couldn't keep up with the changing of his whim. It was like he had more personalities than the two I was aware of. I tried to shake my head clear.

"I need to bring you back with me," I said firmly, remembering why I was there. "Please…just let me take you to the base. We'll contact Hill and Rhodes and you can talk to them yourself."

"Not gonna happen."

He was resolute when he turned his back to me, but I could be just as stubborn. I carefully put my hand on his shoulder and stepped back in front of him.

"Come on!" I urged, forcing him to look at me. "Don't you think that's a little bit selfish? The world could really be at stake, here." Using Tony's words left a bad taste in my mouth.

"They can save it without me. It's been done before," He waved it off like I was asking for no more than a spare dollar. "Go home, Maggie." He escaped me again and began really walking away.

"All I'm asking for is a chance to prove this isn't some scheme. That they really need you," I called after him. " _We_ really need you."

He stopped for a moment. In his hesitation, I knew I'd gotten to him.

"One phone call. That's all the time I'll give them."

I let out the breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding in.

"Thank you." I switched my ear piece back on, and immediately the rushing of frantic voices swarmed into my head.

"I have Banner with me," I spoke clearly and calmly as I watched Bruce roll his eyes. "I'm bringing him in now."

* * *

While Bruce was greeted with warm enthusiasm the second we got to the hotel room SHIELD had been operating out of, I was met with glares and frowns. I would pay for my behavior later, but at least they couldn't say I didn't get the job done.

They made me wait outside while Bruce talked to Tony and Maria, but I could hear unintelligible and fast paced warbles coming from both ends. Sonia and Nick soon joined me in the hallway.

"Dude, why would you go AWOL on us?" Nick whispered as they leaned against the wall on either side of me.

"I'm sorry, I fucked up," I admitted. "He was onto me. I wanted his trust more than your backup."

"Maggie, if something had happened—" Sonia started.

"He's not what you think. Nothing would've happened."

"You don't know that."

I stared at the door that barricaded me from the man and the creature I'd been sent to hunt. My head was still spinning from the night air and his unexpected touch. I had never fallen so fast in my entire life- it felt like I was suffering from whiplash. But even in this short time of being around him, I found I didn't want to imagine being without. For the first time in a long time, I felt like someone else could really see me.

"I do," I replied simply, ignoring the exchange of wary looks between my coworkers.

The door opened again and we were allowed back into the room. Bruce was on the bed, and the five agents were packing away equipment from what I assume had been a high-tech Skype call.

"Give me a day to get my affairs in order," Bruce was saying. "I need to stop by work and sort out my temporary absence."

"Hill says we can spare that time, Dr. Banner. We'll leave tomorrow night," One of the agents told him kindly.

He gave a curt nod. Avoiding me entirely, Bruce sidestepped the agents and retreated from the room, shutting the door behind him.

"You're letting him walk?" Sonia said as soon as he was out of earshot. "I thought the whole point was to keep him in our sights."

"Banner isn't a prisoner, and therefore is free to spend his time prior to departure as he wishes," said Agent Sim, a muscular blonde woman who had been leading the little platoon.

"I'm guessing the call went well, then?" I ventured. All heads snapped to me.

"Addams, your actions tonight were far too risky to overlook," Agent Sim snapped. "If you hadn't brought him—"

"But I did."

"Be that as it _may_ , you will face a disciplinary hearing upon our return."

"For what?" I was incensed. After all I'd done for them…

"Ignoring explicit instructions."

I felt rage boil my face and hands. For all the maturing I'd done, I could just as easily revert back to the tantrum-throwing two-year old I'd always been. At least I'd developed some restraint over the years.

"I'm not your soldier," I replied coldly. "This was a favor"

"Just drop it, Maggie," Sonia said, shaking her head and leading me towards the door. "It'll be over tomorrow."

" _About_ that…" Sim continued. "Banner has requested you specifically to assist him in is lab when we return to headquarters."

Nick, Sonia, and I all wheeled around at once.

"I have an actual job," I started to raise my voice. "I'm not just in the reserves, waiting to be placed wherever you want me."

"I'm as shocked as you are that anyone would want you near the high grade technology, but it wasn't my call." Sim looked strangely smug about it. "Hill has already agreed to loan you out."

I was too tired and too baffled to try and battle it out.

"…I'm going to bed."

I was halfway out the door when Sim gave one final warning.

"Do not try to contact Banner."

"What makes you think I would?"

She dodged the question.

"You've done your part. You'll be on guard, if need be, but leave everything else to us."

I knew that I would regret anything that left my mouth at that moment, so I stormed out of the room, followed dutifully by Nick and Sonia. The three of us stood out in the hallway for a moment, looking at one another in shared frustration.

"Mission accomplished, muties," Nick said with a yawn. "'Night."

Sonia waited until he turned the corner to begin walking me towards our rooms.

"I feel I'd be remiss as a friend if I didn't tell you not to get too involved with the Hulk," She said quietly.

"…Yeah."

The second she shut her door behind her, I sprinted down the hall and down the stairs. The elevator wasn't worth the wait. The lobby was full of people, but none of them the one I was looking for. Deep down I knew I'd missed him, but I had to try. I had to get at least as far as the door before calling it quits. I pushed through the golden revolving door like it was a curtain, and on the other side, there he was. He hadn't left yet. He was standing with his hands in his pockets, glancing up and down the street, waiting anxiously for a cab.

"You're killing me, Banner," the announcement of my presence didn't make him jump, but his head twitched in my direction. I came to stand at his side.

"Believe me, I'm trying very hard not to," He said dryly.

"Still don't think I could take you?" I felt safe enough to tease.

"I'd rather not find out," but he cracked a smile. "What are you doing down here?"

"Why did you ask for me? You know I'm a crap assistant."

"You owe me. I consider it insurance," He shrugged. "And…despite every good instinct I have advising me against it…I trust you."

That felt like it came out of left field. Any annoyance I had instantly melted.

"What did I do to deserve that?"

"You trusted _me_. With what you are—er, _who_ you are," Bruce looked up at me. "I just…know you're not trying to screw me."

It meant too much to hear him say it aloud. So much, that of course I had to respond with a childish jab.

"In what sense?"

"Ha." He said bleakly. "I guess, uh, speaking of which…I'm sorry, again, about earlier."

"I'm not."

Bruce stuffed his hands deeper into his pockets and swiveled away from me, as if he hadn't heard what I'd said.

"You'd think on a Friday night there'd be at least one taxi out and about…" He mumbled.

"The offer still stands, y'know," I shuffled awkwardly with my arms crossed. "I'd walk you home."

"I think I can face the mean streets of Havana on my own, thanks."

"Two monsters are better than one."

He studied me for a moment, and I could see the fight with his good sense being lost the more our eyes held on to each other.

"Let's walk."

And we did. It was a much longer journey to his small apartment building than it felt like, mostly because I didn't want it to end.

"I know Beast," Bruce was saying as we slowed down in front of the building. I'd only just begun to tell him about my position at SHIELD. "Worked with him on a few projects. He's a good guy."

"He's saved my life more than once."

"I'm sure only because it was a life worth saving." I wasn't sure if he intended it as a compliment or a matter-of-fact, but either way it eased my mind. "So…this is me." He jerked his head at the front door. "I'd invite you in, but…hm. Yeah."

"I get it," I said quietly. "But I…I don't know. I don't feel done being with you, yet." I hoped that those words made some sense, and his weak smile told me he understood.

"We'll be seeing a lot more of each other, now."

"We'll be monitored. Busy. Not in Havana," I replied.

"Working for the Man," He added.

"Right," I rolled my tongue in my cheek. I didn't know where my boldness was coming from. Maybe because for once, things seemed really clear to me. "I'm not really certain about a lot. Or, anything, really. And I know it hasn't been that long. But," I shrugged. "I like you. Go figure."

Bruce already knew, but he was kind enough not to rub it in my face. He looked down at the ground and chuckled softly.

"That's a mistake."

"I didn't say it wasn't." I stepped carefully closer, hoping he wouldn't notice. He didn't back up. Instead, his eyes looked everywhere except at me, but his body stayed inches from mine.

"I won't list all the reasons you shouldn't, because I'm sure you already know them" He said, his voice dropping lower and sounding more like gentle pleading. "Too old for you, too dangerous…"

"You're listing."

"Ah. Yeah. Couldn't resist."

We were quiet for a moment, and I took that instance to reach slowly for his hand. He let me take it, and even cupped my own hand in both of his. I could feel his brain like a shaking leaf. It was working in overtime, but it wasn't in danger of going green. I placed my free fingertips tenderly against his temple, and the closing of his eyes told me I had succeeded in soothing him.

"Remember," I said. "You kissed me first." I leaned up and pressed my lips to his. Immediately he relaxed into my touch, folding his arms around my waist. It felt so much safer than our kiss on the beach. More real.

When I saw his eyes again, they were tired and worn down.

"Come upstairs?" He whispered.

I obliged, against every rational part of me telling me otherwise. I was too impressed that I'd won the fight with him to battle within myself.

His apartment was dark, and small, but surprisingly kempt. I didn't look much at it, because as soon as the door shut behind us I began kissing him again with a ferocity I hadn't felt in a long, long time.

It was over as quickly as it had started. All of a sudden, he leapt back as though I'd electrocuted him. Bruce shook his head like he was coming out of a hypnosis, and he looked at me like I was a demon.

"What the hell…What am I…?" He fumbled with his words and leaned on the island counter by the kitchen to steady himself. "What did you do to me?"

My chest lurched.

" _Do?"_ I repeated. "I…I thought…"

He was rubbing his face in his hands. I took a hesitant step toward him, which he called out instantly.

"Don't come closer," He said.

"Banner, what is it?"

"I can't, okay? This isn't something…we can do."

" _You_ invited me up here."

"And I have no idea why!" Bruce sucked in a breath to try and calm himself. He looked at me, standing frightened by the door. "I'm sorry, really. I don't know what came over me. It's…not your fault."

But I wondered if it was. The consideration that I had somehow influenced his low inhibitions in that moment flickered across my mind. It seemed all too likely, but I didn't want him to know. I hadn't meant to, after all.

"No, I'm sorry," I shook my head. "I pushed. I shouldn't have. I'll just go."

I turned quickly to the door, hoping that I wouldn't look too pathetic. I was stopped by a hand on my shoulder.

"You should know," Bruce whispered behind me. "It's not that I don't want to."

I looked over my shoulder at him. He wasn't nervous anymore. Just sincerely regretful.

"If my heart-rate gets above a certain level," He explained slowly. "There's a chance I'll… _he'll_ …"

I was such a jerk.

"I didn't know," I sufficed as a defense.

"Why would you?" He dropped his hand back to his side.

The door remained closed, but I still stood facing it so he couldn't see my expression.

"I understand," I said quietly. "That fear that you might accidentally hurt people you don't want to hurt? I live with that, too. I mean, I know it's not even comparable to what you go through. But I can imagine, at least."

"Other than the fish, who have you attacked without meaning to?"

I raised my shoulders up and down, and allowed myself to turn to him. There was no skepticism in his stare, like I'd been expecting. He actually wanted to know.

"I'd never delivered any fatal blows, or destroyed streets by accident. This one time when I was little I sent a kid flying across the blacktop at school," I knew it was not a similar experience to losing control as the Hulk, but he'd asked. For some reason, it was all I could remember. I exhaled and continued. "He was my first crush, and it was mind-blowing that he'd chosen to chase _me_ at recess. But I got too amped up, or something. I'd never seen someone so scraped up. The fact that I'd done some damage freaked me more than getting kicked out of school."

"You were young, though," Bruce said. "You were just learning about your abilities."

"I still am. Every day," I replied. "Aren't you?"

He rubbed his eyes with his fists, I thought perhaps to blur his vision of me.

"Yeah. I guess so. Hope so, anyway."

There was a pause in which I took my cue.

"I should…" I jerked my head to the door.

"Go, yeah. Goodnight," Bruce said, forcing a small smile.

"Goodnight," I said, but I couldn't move. He watched me standing still for a good long moment before he shook his head wryly.

"You don't want to go," He stated.

"No."

"Even though…?"

"Even though."

He took in a sharp inhale through his nose and glances around the apartment like he was giving me a tour with his eyes.

"So stay," Bruce suggested, and my legs suddenly felt weak.

Stay I did. We retired to his small, pull out bed where we lay face to face, whispering until our words became slurred and sleep encompassed us.


	17. SHIELD (VI)- An Experiment

In less than 24 hours I was standing in a dark room back at SHIELD headquarters with people way out of my league, staring at what could only be described a holographic PowerPoint presentation on the next biggest threat to New York: An uncut piece of Primagen.

Bruce had been able to distinguish the energy source upon seconds of inspection. I suddenly believed what I'd been saying all along; they really _did_ need him.

My unceremonious return was a stiff handshake and thank-you from Commander Hill, and the order to 'go home'. Sonia and Nick were grateful for the excuse to leave, but I felt shafted. Bruce vouched for me, insisting I was to stay for the discussion so I could aid his work later on. I felt important for all of two seconds, until I realized that I had nothing to contribute to the room. Instead, I watched from the farthest corner as Bruce studied every inch of the projected image with squinted eyes and slightly parted lips.

"You said it was found in Egypt?" He suddenly said to no one in particular.

"Y-yes sir," the young agent who had discovered the material stepped forward.

"But that was a lie," He looked down, cleaning his glasses on his shirt.

"Sorry?"

Hill spoke up, narrowing her eyes at Bruce.

"Mr. Banner, does where it came from really matter? We want to know what it is and what it can _do_."

"If it doesn't matter, why not tell me?" Everyone looked at him, silently. "You asked for my help, the least you could do is be straight with me." Heads snapped back to Hill, who was deliberating.

"Fine," She said coolly. "…It was obtained just outside of Latveria."

The name didn't ring any bells with me, not that I was ever any good at geography, but Bruce's nostril's flared.

"Doom's utopia? Commander, that's not a nation you want to mess with," He warned.

"No one is 'messing' with anyone," Hill replied calmly. "This—what did you call it? Primagen? It's highly unstable, and frankly cause for alarm. If Doctor Doom has more—"

"Then you don't want to get on his bad side."

"It wasn't _stolen_ from Latverian soil. Having this in our possession is not an act of war, it's merely an investigation," said Hill.

"Oh, really?" Bruce challenged. "And what do you plan to do with it? Make weapons?"

"Depending on its reach, it could potentially power an entire building, could it not?"

"So all this in the name of renewable energy? I don't buy it." Bruce characteristically placed his stubborn hands on his hips.

"If it's useful enough, we could open up a trade embargo with Doom." Hill seemed proud of the idea.

"Right, because he plays so well with others."

The Commander sighed.

"We didn't bring you here to debate politics. Can you stabilize it or not?"

"Sure I can," Bruce let the fight drop. "It'll take time to uncover its structural formula, but it's not gonna blow anytime soon. It looks like it's in its purest form, see?"

He zoomed in on the image to focus in on snow white, crystalline shapes that made up the entire outer layer of the sample.

"The agent who came in direct contact with it-they still in ICU?" He asked.

"Yes," said Hill quietly. "They picked up the rod with an ungloved hand, and convulsions have yet to cease. Not getting better, or worse."

"So it's definitely not human," Bruce pondered. "Couldn't have come from Earth if it's this versatile." He took another longing glance at the picture. "I'll take the job. Is my room still open?"

Hill looked surprised. She clearly was under the impression that there hadn't been a choice.

"Rhodes will have you set up at the mansion. As for a workspace, Agent Sim will lead you there right now."

"Where is he?"

"You can direct any questions to me."

Bruce just nodded and rubbed his hands as he followed Sim to the door. With a nod to me, he indicated I should follow. I tried ducked out with them, forcing myself not to look at the rest of the room, but Hill cleared her throat so loudly I knew it was to beckon me.

"Addams," She called. "Hang back a sec?"

I puffed out a bit of air. Bruce just shrugged and continued to follow Sim, who shut the door tightly behind them. I faced Hill with my arms crossed.

"You'll keep an eye on him," It wasn't a request. There was no sugar coating it, or kind offers of exchange this time.

"If I'm going to be your personal nanny," I said steadily. "Can I at least ask for something for my own team?"

"Dr. McCoy has already proposed a new budget, and we're happy to comply—"

"Give us permission to build the New Jersey X-Corp."

She hesitated for a moment, then nodded.

"That can be arranged. I'll appeal for a project review, and you can meet with the board again in due time. But it is not _your_ priority right now. Are we clear?"

"I…Yeah. Thanks."

I didn't realize I was shaking until I had finally escaped the room and Hill's predator-like glare. I took in a couple of breaths and reminded myself that I had won. Hank's task force, which I'd been entrusted with, may still be second rate, but at least we were beginning to earn favors. Hill's order rang in my head. _Keep an eye on him…_

I had mistakenly believed that Bruce wanted me to be his assistant, when in reality I was sure I'd been assigned to keep him in check. First Loki, then the Hulk…I hadn't signed up to be a parole officer. More than that, I still had no idea if I was capable of knocking out the Hulk. Loki had been a cinch, he was only a little bigger than me. A green giant was another story.

But…it was still Bruce. And I knew I was going to be by his side, hired to or not.

I trudged by myself up to the commissary, hoping to make it for the last few minutes of dinner. I picked at a pretzel, and scrolled through the emails on my phone. I dropped Hank a line, which immediately bounced back with an "I'm out of the country until…." Blah blah. I was alone for the first time in a while. Normally, I would be grateful. Yet when I finally saw Bruce make his way awkwardly into the salad bar line, I felt a weight drop off my shoulders.

"How'd you know I'd come here?" He asked, sliding into the seat opposite me.

"You haven't eaten anything since we landed," I smirked. "How are the new toys?"

"That lab is, uh, fine," He looked around distractedly. "God, it feels weird to be here. This is my first time in the new headquarters, but it's like…I know everyone knows me."

"Doesn't that mean you can be yourself?"

"No, it means I've got to be on my best behavior."

I had to laugh, because I couldn't imagine Bruce on anything _but_ his best behavior. His hand was draped over the table and I reached over to give it a squeeze. He smiled briefly, but dropped it when he saw something unexpected over my shoulder. I turned, but whoever it had been wasn't someone I recognized. A man with grey eyes and short army-cut hair, just exiting the room. Bruce clearly knew him. And the man knew Bruce. But nothing was shared between them but a look.

"Anyone make you sign anything yet, selling your soul?" I attempted to ask casually, bringing Bruce back to me.

"They're buttering me up first, I'm sure," His eyes were still on the spot where the man had been standing.

"They've allowed this buffer after the Thanos situation, but they're starting to crack down again. I think some people thought they'd go back on their policies. Now it seems like their work has just begun."

"If I thought there was a chance they could control the Hulk, I'd have no objections to registration. In theory, training heroes makes a lot of sense. In practice…"

"If mutants weren't becoming illegal, maybe I wouldn't either."

"Sorry," He said quietly. "I haven't been reading the news much these past few months."

"No, I mean, that's why I'm here. Fighting from within," I said with a shrug.

"That's what they all say," Bruce leaned back in his seat and grinned.

"The world was fucked up when I left it for five years. Wasn't like all those problems were going to disintegrate with the rest of us."

"They might've, if we hadn't brought you all back," He tried to joke. "Too soon?" He asked when he noticed me frown.

"A little," I laughed. A hard look passed across his face. "Why did you run away? After?"

He seemed surprised by the question.

"There's a difference between running away and leaving. I…thought I had control of the Hulk. Things were working better than ever."

"Because you'd had all that time to yourself?"

Bruce smiled awkwardly.

"Loneliness wasn't exactly a concern of mine. I'd been alone before, but this time…I could be in the middle of nowhere and no one would be around for literally hundreds of miles. I'd never had that luxury, of feeling like there was no chance I could hurt anyone. So, I took that time to try and compromise with the Hulk. It didn't last long."

"Why?" I asked.

"Emotion, I think," He said softly. "I couldn't keep up with the big angry guy. So we split again. Now I worry he's more vicious than ever."

"What happened in Morocco?" I pushed. He froze

"How did you hear about that?"

"I—"

"I'd rather not talk about it."

"Right. Sorry."

We were silent for a moment, while he picked at his cafeteria food. He was ready for a change of subject.

"Did you buy their story about accidentally stumbling across that Primagen?" Bruce asked.

"I try not to believe anything I'm told," I said carelessly. "The stories change too fast around here."

"I get the feeling she's looking for a fight with Doom," He admitted, leaning in conspiratorially.

"I don't know anything about Victor Von Doom, except what I read in tabloids. If she's so worried, she can hit up the Baxter Building. I doubt she would risk war for a piece of space rock."

Bruce chuckled lightly.

"You'd be surprised what people would risk for the right space rock."

We worked something out. I'd spend the morning doing mutant task force duties, and the afternoon in Bruce's new lab. The plus, besides getting to see him every day, was that I got paid double for my work with him.

The more time I spent with him the better I could sense him. The waves he gave off were, understandably, more complex than any person I'd encountered. Soon, I began to realize it wasn't just _him_ I was aware of. There was a different energy, weak while in his human form, but still present deep within him. It was dormant, but not separate. I wanted to tell him, but feared what he would think. I didn't know my range could take me that deep.

I did feel freer around him, though. I could practice using my powers for different things while in the lab, lifting up instruments on a plate of solid electromagnetic rays and sending them to him from across the room. I had been getting stronger and I hadn't even realized it. Since Hank wasn't around, Bruce was the only one I could show off to.

I came into the lab one afternoon, a brown paper bag under my arm, to find him at a workbench with holographic blueprints being written and rewritten with his touch.

"Okay, lunch is served," I plopped down the bag on the empty lab table. "The line at Chopped took forever, I had no idea how many yuppies actually enjoy salad."

"You're a dream," He didn't look up from his work. "How'd the meeting go?"

"It was hopeful," I tried to sound modest, but I was too excited. "The board said we might get approval by next week to begin construction. I think now that I'm in cahoots with an Avenger, they're respecting my department a little more."

"Nepotism always does the trick." He looked over to smile and reached his hand in the bag for his salad bowl. "What was the God of Mischief up to today?"

"Let's see…He beat me in rat screw." I thought I saw Bruce shudder.

"The very idea of you playing cards with Loki is chilling."

"He's harmless," I said, though I didn't believe it. "He's being kept in the negative zone for the weekend, so I had to put him out before they transported him. He's not gonna be happy."

"Guess he's not invited to the gala."

"Gala?" My ears perked up.

"Yeah, Pepper Potts is hosting some fundraiser at the mansion on Saturday. Probably why they want all recognizable villains out of the way," Bruce shrugged. "Still can't fathom why he's allowed to stay on Earth."

When I was assured that Bruce wasn't going to invite me to the billionaire's gala, I cleared my throat and nodded to the blueprints onscreen.

"You finish the stabilizer yet?"

"The plans are almost perfect, but my prototype was abysmal. Exploded within a few inches of the Primagen."

"Yikes."

"Yeah, I calibrated it wrong," He sniffed. "I'm off my game."

"Speaking of 'off', when do you get off?"

Bruce smirked.

"You know it's not a nine to five. I get off when I get done."

"How about this," I proposed. "After you bring the prints down to tech to start building, you take the rest of the night off and come hang out."

"Hang out?" He repeated. "Like kids on a Friday night?"

"Something like that. Sonia is away for the weekend, and I have the TV all to myself." I walked around the table to stand next to him. I felt him stiffen as I got nearer.

"Sounds like you're trying to seduce me, Addams."

"I know better."

His face was an inch from mine, and I kissed him in a splash of irony. He smiled into it.

"Sure," He said when we pulled apart. "I'll hang out."

That was how it had been between us for those few short weeks. Professional coworkers, friends on the side, and unspoken paramours when we could sneak a moment. Those moments happened in brief kisses and gentle touches, but nothing more. I couldn't help myself around him, and in time he'd fallen into the habit of going along with it. Neither of us thought anything could become of it. Neither of us expected it to last. But we pretended. I had the feeling that Bruce hadn't gotten to pretend like that in a long time. It was as if I'd taken a dip out of reality, the way I was acting as though consequences for my actions wouldn't occur. I didn't care. I felt like being reckless, after three long years of staying in line.

I'd already had two glasses of wine before he arrived.

Only when the credits rolled following the cheesy sci-fi movie I'd rented, did I reach for his hand. He let me weave my fingers in and out of his, and smiled when I caught his eye.

I only let one of the thousands of questions I had for him leave my lips.

"Is this…okay?"

Bruce sighed and ran his free hand through his hair.

"I don't know."

I scooted closer to him on the couch and leaned my head on his shoulder while I watched our entwined hands outline the glowing television.

"You haven't dated, y'know…since the accident?" I asked.

"I never said that," He looked away. I wondered who he was thinking about. If there was more than one person. He didn't let on. "But I'm not Tony or Steve, where I could just take off the suit at the end of the day. They had their own relationship problems, I'm sure, but…it's different. Nothing can last for me. Nothing _has_."

"Does it have to?" I asked. He looked at me, taken aback by the question. He seemed to seriously consider it, then shrugged.

"No," Bruce said. "I guess not. Most would consider that a sad life."

"Eh, most would consider that _life_."

"How very zen."

He tilted my chin up to face him, and I immediately fell into a kiss. When he didn't end it, I pressed myself harder against him as our breathing became more labored. I closed my eyes and didn't let up, until he put two hands on my shoulders and gently urged me up and away.

"Maggie…" He pleaded quietly, when we were far enough apart to speak. "Don't.

"Sorry," I mumbled. "I got carried away." It was a bad excuse. "You have far better self-control than I do."

"Because I have to."

"I had a thought, though," I posed carefully, sliding back but keeping my legs wrapped around him. "If I can keep the monster at bay, maybe we could…"

"It's too risky," He shook his head, but couldn't downplay his curiosity. "How would you even…?"

"It's just another mind within you," I said, slowly reaching up to place my palm against his temple. "I can feel him. Just like I can feel you. I can sedate that part just as easily, I think. I've actually been thinking for a while that…it might work."

"' _Might'_ is a scary word."

"You don't trust me?" They felt like sick words, like a greaser boyfriend trying to charm his way into someone's pants. But I couldn't stop myself. "You know what I can do."

"It's not _you_ I don't trust."

I leaned forward and pressed my forehead to his.

"Just as an experiment?" I whispered before kissing him again.

"You are relentless," He breathed back, but he was suddenly kissing me harder, pressing his hands into my back as if I was the only solid thing around him. He pushed me down onto the couch, and when he had me pinned he broke apart and looked at me with his trademark sad smile.

"And you're enticed," I replied quietly, grinning deviously up at him. Bruce rolled his eyes, but didn't move from his position.

"I'm pretty sure this is peer pressure," He said. "You're not stupid, Maggie. You know it's dangerous."

"Can you blame me for wanting to try?" I intended it to be complimentary, but really I had to know if I had it in me. If this was something I could actually pull off. I wanted to tempt the fates and test my limits.

I reached up and put my hand on his chest to feel a rapid pumping. "Your heart-rate's already up, anyway," I pointed out. Before he could answer I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him in even closer.

Bruce tried to look everywhere but at me, but we were too near for me to be anywhere but in his line of vision. The buzzing in his brain was subsiding into a soothing rhythm, somewhat.

"Okay," He said so softly I thought I misheard him. "We…we can try. But if anything…if I…"

"I know," I replied, and I pulled him under.

It was narcissistic and foul, but I wanted him. I didn't have a death wish, I didn't even feel very devil-may-care. It was pure selfishness that I wanted him and that I would have him.

I wasn't sure how much time had passed when I regained enough energy to realize we were sprawled across the top of my bed. I couldn't even remember when we'd switched rooms. Bruce was still Bruce—meaning my trick had done the trick—and he was lying beside me breathing deeply and quickly. I rolled onto my side to look at him, and he met me with tired eyes and a disbelieving smirk. He reached up and caressed my cheek.

"It's been a long time," He said hoarsely.

"Me too," I admitted, trying not to think of Jamie in that moment. "But I'm not sorry."

"Neither am I." He leaned over and kissed me gently. His hand fell onto my bare side, his knuckles warm where they touched. He traced the outline of my scars, one at a time. "How did you get them?"

"By being careless." I lifted his hand from my wounds and moved it back up to my cheek so I could place my lips into his palm. He didn't ask further, which I was grateful for. "Could you go for another round?"

"I think that's pushing our luck."

"Thank you," I said against his ear. "For having some faith in me. And for holding back."

I had been able to sense him fighting against his demon the whole time. It hadn't just been me doing all the work. I could tell it had taken a lot out of him.

"For some reason," Bruce lay back on his arms. "After living in Cuba, working a real job, meeting you…It's made me feel more normal than I ever have."

"Funny, I've never associated myself with normality," I said cheekily.

"Maybe it's the concept of you, rather than the embodiment," He chuckled. "I've just felt so done being super."

I rested my head on his chest and stared up at the ceiling.

"Me too."

And I knew that we could say that all we wanted, but we never really would be.


	18. SHIELD (VII)- Weak

At the crack of dawn, I felt his weight shift from off the bed. I know he hadn't slept, because I hadn't either. I just lay still through the night, measuring his breathing and counting the times he twitched or turned. I watched the digital clock on my dresser count away the minutes we had together, looking like a ticking bomb. It wasn't like the night we'd spent in Havana, comforted by each other's warmth. A line had been crossed. I was sure he was afraid, even after the fact. Maybe more so than I was. But he remained Bruce Banner all through the dark, and I held onto every second as hard as I could. I had to admit, I was still reeling from the adrenaline of pride. It _had_ worked. I wanted him to be as pleased about it as I was. And though he stayed until morning light, I knew he wasn't. As he crept carefully out of the room, my heart sank fast.

I threw on the first shirt I could find on my floor, and caught him just as he was unlocking the front door.

"So," I didn't make him jump, but he whipped around to look at me like I was an unexpected specter. "This was just a hit and run?"

"…I'm sorry." Bruce dropped his hand from the knob and fumbled with the top button on his shirt. I remained a safe distance, but folded my arms across my chest to give the air of disapproval.

"What were you going to do?" I asked. "Leave and never speak to me again? We work together."

"I just need a little time to think—"

"Did I do something wrong?"

"I'm not—"

"Tell me."

Bruce's expression was one of pity and fear, and for some reason it felt patronizing.

"You don't understand," He swallowed. "It shouldn't have happened. It shouldn't have been _physically_ possible."

"But it was and it did. Am I supposed to forget it?"

"What I mean is…God," Bruce pressed his back against the door and looked at the floor. "Years and years, Maggie," He whispered. "I've lived with the Hulk for _years_ , working my ass off to resist anything that jeopardizes that condition. That includes years of saying no to people I've… people I've loved. _Really_ loved," His sigh of bewilderment cut like a knife. "And you got to me in _one_ night."

"What…what are you saying?"

"There's no way I was in my right mind when…I don't think I made a very conscious decision."

"Not in your right mind," I repeated. "Are you accusing…?" I suddenly felt so sick to my stomach that I could feel acid burning up my throat.

"Something happened. Being exposed to you last night, it's like…like I was drunk. Like you were killing off my brain cells, lowering my inhibitions," He said, tapping his fingers on the door to keep him present. He looked at me with equal disdain and empathy. "I don't think your power of ' _sedation_ ', or whatever you call it, is just a tranq. It's a full-blown narcotic."

"You think I coerced you," I whispered. I could hardly let his words sink in. "That I basically fucking roofied you?"

"No. No!" Bruce took two steps toward me, his need to comfort overruling his vexation.

"I don't…I've never influenced anyone before!" I sputtered. Like a defensive child, I raised my finger at him. " _You_ said you wanted to try!"

"I know what I said."

"But now you regret it? Now it's like I _made_ you?" It felt hard to breathe.

"Of course I regret it, I could've killed you!" He was doing so well not to raise his voice, but the temper was simmering below the surface. "If it had been anyone else, it wouldn't have happened. That's all I know."

Anyone else. Was I really that out of control that I wasn't conscious of when I was using my powers? I didn't know myself at all, it turned out. Between the two of us, I was more the monster.

"I…I didn't mean to. I swear, Bruce, please. I didn't know I was doing it." But that hardly mattered. Abuse is still abuse, even if you're blind to it. I had wondered, hadn't I? I had thought, that last night in Havana, that maybe it was me who had altered his mood. Not genuine affection at all. I tried to blink back tears. "You really think it was my fault?"

"Look, the way you can manipulate the activity in other people's minds? It's not unfounded to guess that you can create different levels of anesthesia. You may have put the Hulk to rest, but me…I was doped up some, too," He posed carefully.

"So I'm a drug."

"I'm saying I think you can _simulate_ —"

"Why do you think you know my powers better than I do?" I was back to an aggressive defense. "We met a month ago."

"Because I _know_ what heightened electromagnetic sources can do."

I was dizzy all at once, and I grabbed onto my bedroom doorknob for support. I'd evolved. I had the ability to make people more susceptible to my will. It was revolting.

"I'm sorry," were the hard words that didn't do my anguish justice. "I'm so…so sorry."

"You weren't aware," Bruce said stiffly.

"Do you believe me?" I asked. "Do you still trust me?"

"I trust…that you don't know your own strength."

I had to turn away to hide the stinging water waterworks I couldn't contain. I buried my lips so I couldn't let out a sound. I didn't deserve to cry, but he came towards me anyway. His hand was shaking until it relaxed fully around my own. It shouldn't have been _him_ consoling _me_. I'd been the offender, without wanting and without realizing.

"It's not a black out, Maggie," He told me gently. "I remember last night. All of it. Just…through a fog. Like it was a dream."

"A nightmare?" I guessed.

"God, no," He smiled for the first time that morning. "Definitely a dream too good to be true."

I fell silent, and he stepped closer, keeping my eyes locked on his.

"I need you to understand that," He continued. "I wanted it, just as much as you. Maybe more," He lelt out a harsh laugh. "But I can never, ever, let it happen again."

"You told me you couldn't. I didn't listen. I'm sorry," I said one more time, numbly.

"It was an accident," Bruce affirmed, shrugging it off like I had no more than stepped on his foot. "An accidental experiment. Successful, but…"

"Stupid."

"…Yeah."

His hand slid down my shoulder, as if of its own accord. It set off goosebumps across my skin as it glided, and I knew I had to be selfish just one more time.

"It's a shitty time to say it," I murmured, carefully resting my forehead on his shoulder. "But you already know. I want to be with you. I don't care in what way, you can set every guideline, every restriction you need to. I just don't want to lose you."

Bruce ran his fingers through my tangled bed-head.

"We've been through this. I'm not what you want." They sounded like overly rehearsed words. I was sure, then, that I wasn't the only one he'd said them to on multiple occasions.

"No, I definitely want you," I said it as if I'd never been more certain of anything. Maybe I hadn't. "You just don't think I _should_. That anyone should."

"Very perceptive," He said dryly.

"Do you want me?"

"That's irrelevant."

"It's not."

He hesitated, but responded by pressing a kiss to my cheek. He brushed a few strands of hair out of my eyes and held his hand against my head.

"Lying next to you last night…it was the best I've felt in a long time."

But I knew that wasn't going to be enough, even before he stepped away from me.

"I need to go," Bruce said, and this time there was no stopping him. "I…you don't need to help out at the lab anymore. I was wrong to think you owed me something."

"I like helping you," I replied quietly.

"You're needed elsewhere." Maybe that was true. It wasn't why he said it.

"Bruce?" I had to have the last word, with his foot halfway out the door. He paused to listen, kind man that he was. "I never wanted to hurt you. Or make you afraid. I'm sorry," I said again. "You don't have to forgive me. Just know I care." My hallmark apology card sounded worse out loud than it had in my head, but he accepted it with a tight smile that broke my heart.

"You're not the one that needs to be forgiven," He told me earnestly. "Promise."

And he left. Without a goodbye, or an inkling of if I would see him again. I crumpled to the floor and hugged my knees to my chest, regretting the last twelve hours while wanting to relive them at the same time.

* * *

Days went by, and not a glimpse of him. I buried myself in my work, stressing out about every little detail regarding the X-Corps plan. A distraction was what I needed. What I always needed. Just like that, I was out of the Avengers' league and back where I belonged, in my dingy cubicle, locked in the rewardless, tireless battle for mutant rights. Once I was back to my old self, I felt guilty for having stepped so far back from what was important. I told no one about what happened. I couldn't, even though Sonia and Nick teased me mercilessly about my Hulk-sized crush. I ignored them, which was easier than I thought.

But when Hank's blue figure stood at the department door on Wednesday afternoon, I almost broke down into tears on the spot. _Almost_. I did, however, throw a hug around his neck before he could even set his briefcase down.

"At least someone's happy to see me," Hank grinned after I released him.

"Never leave again," I instructed sincerely. He beamed, though we both knew it was an order he couldn't heed.

Soon, we were sipping coffee together in our bland little conference room, like nothing had changed.

"Where were you?" I asked, as soon as he seemed settled.

"Genosha," Hanks face fell, but he hid it behind his mug. My stomach twisted.

"Why?" Genosha had been a pile of rubble for years, now. Once a mutant paradise, the island was destroyed by rogue sentinels in a tragedy that even the X-Men couldn't prevent. "You're not still searching for survivors, are you?"

"Many bodies are still unaccounted for. The place is a mess, and I wanted to support the rebuild. I was hosting a pop-up clinic with Rachel Summers, as a matter of fact." A name I hadn't heard in a while.

"I wish you had brought me," I muttered. Hank looked at me warmly.

"You didn't need to see any of that," He said. "Besides, I hear you were very busy on the home front. Congratulations on the X-Corp approval, we're excited to begin the process. And, of course, good work on bringing in Banner." He eyed me carefully as he said those last words, as though he could tell the trek had had an emotional impact on me. He was too sensitive to my well-being, like the father I didn't deserve.

"I still think they could've done it without us," I said bleakly.

"Maybe so," Hank conceded. "But they didn't."

I smiled and raised my coffee.

"Cheers to good intentions, then."

Hank clinked his mug on mine.

"Cheers."

* * *

The next day, Dr. McCoy was already on a mission to keep me occupied. He called a meeting with the full task force, and all of us crammed around the table to hear our first local field assignment in months. I felt undeniably at ease, surrounded by the mutant faces I'd known for so long now. Some of them, I was only on a first name basis with, and still I knew I'd do anything for them. I had no idea if they'd do the same, but that really didn't matter. So when Hank said this was going to have to be a "team effort", I was ready.

He opened with one word.

"Morlocks," Hank held up a picture of a blurry gray-skinned mutant hovering above a sewer grate in Times Square. "There's been an increase in reported sightings throughout the city, and alleged burglaries and assaults that may be their doing."

"Why now?" A woman named Nancy with spiky black hair spoke up. "They've kept to the underground pretty much exclusively these last few years."

Morlocks, as I'd come to understand them, were a network of outcast mutants who lived beneath the city like sewer gators and subway rats. They had built a society down there for mutants with no desire to reconcile with the human world. Many had "deformations" that made them the target of cruelty up on the streets. Our relationship with them was tense, at best, though we had made contact with a few representatives over the years to keep a civil neighborship.

"We're not sure what caused the sudden flare-up," Hank said. I didn't like the way he regarded them like a contagion. "But we've been asked to investigate. It's getting cold, perhaps they're in need of supplies…or, perhaps, another uprising is in the works."

"We lost track of their movements a while back," I said. "We'll have to do a sweep of all their old hotspots."

"The priority is locating Callisto, their leader. Treat it as a routine check-up, and try not to accuse them of anything."

"And…" Nick looked harried. "Do we _all_ have to go?"

Hank shot him a dirty look.

"The Morklocks are aggressive and have a strong tribe-mentality," He said tersely. "You are all going in together, because it would not be safe to do otherwise, and they would be unlikely to trust an individual. Maggie," He nodded to me. "I recommend embarking as soon as possible. Daylight hours are best, despite the darkness they live in."

With that, he scooted back from the table, and left us to fend for ourselves.

"Okay," I came to stand at the head of the table in the empty space Hank had left, and clapped my hands together once. "The Morlocks leave marks on the sewer heads they've passed under most recently. They're intended for those searching to join them, but thanks to Monty," I smiled at our linguist in the corner, "We have a translation of their secret alphabet. We're looking for one with this symbol," I held up a photo of a small chalk figure. "We'll split up into smaller groups and spread out to each of their known meeting places. If you find the right symbol in your assigned area, notify the rest of us on the com and we'll come to you. We go in _together_ , like McCoy said. Any questions? No? Good. Suit up."

By "suit up" I meant grab their jackets, because no way in hell did we have the budget for spandex. Street clothes were by far the best costumes for hiding in plain sight, and to be honest I didn't see why the big heroes needed such elaborate outfits.

There were only a few grumbles, but people were starting to get used to listening to me. It had taken them a year, but they were. With Hank hardly around, someone had to be the den mother.

Sonia and I took the upper west side, scouring the one-train stations for any markings that weren't mindless graffiti.

"You'd think it'd be against our best interests to bring an _army_ to meet the Morlocks," She sighed to me when we were alone.

"They have to see us as a team. Hank says it's good if we present ourselves as a resource to them," I said, though instinctively her fears had been mine as well.

"Sometimes, I think you have too much trust," Sonia told me. I had no comeback. She was right, but it was only because I didn't trust myself. I had to put faith somewhere.

There was only an hour of searching before a garbled voice on our coms informed us of a Morlock base down in the village. It was far from midtown, where the last incident had been reported.

Soon enough, our task force was trudging through the depths of New York, up to our knees in grime and slime. It wasn't long before a figure splashed ahead in the dark, and we all stopped short. It was too large to be a rat, and the hiss was unmistakably humanoid.

I held up my hand, though I wasn't sure anyone could see it. We were trespassers, and the lone Morlock would have to decide whether or not to engage. At least, I _hoped_ it was alone.

"¿Mutantes o humanos?" A voice echoed.

"Mutants," I replied. "We seek an audience with Callisto."

"X-Men? ¿Cómo se enteró de nosotros?" Came the voice again. I looked back at what faces I could make out in the pitch black, my two years of high school Spanish failing me instantly.

"No X-Men," Sonia, next to me, spoke up. "Hemos venido a ayudar."

"No necesitamos ayuda."

More splashes rang out all around us. I realized they must have been watching us from the moment we go within range of their hideout, and now they sensed danger.

"Intrusos," said the voice in front of us. "Vendrás conmigo."

"What'd they say?" I whispered so Sonia.

"We'll have to go with them," She said. "But it sounds like we're more prisoners than guests."

"Better than nothing," I murmured, backing up as I felt the presence of more Morlocks closing in from all sides.

And so we continued on through the sewage, now with an escort that I was sure was ready to attack at any moment. I had a hunch that it was the presence of our less human-esque team members that had kept them from killing us on the spot. Monty, with scales and demon-like horns, probably seemed more kin to them than I did. Still, I stood at the helm of the group, worthy or not.

In the distance, a glimmering light appeared that only got larger and larger as we approached. It was stupid of me to have thought a true society couldn't exist below the surface, but what we came upon was more impressive than perhaps the grubby streets of Manhattan. Far from a shanty town, on a patch of dry concrete above the murky water, were high metal structures mimicking skylines. The area was surprisingly clean, despite the roaches that occasionally ran across our path. We walked down an aisle resembling a main road, spotting other Morlock people poking their heads out of their makeshift homes to stare.

At last we were ushered into a small ornate tent, adorned with silk cloths and faded patterns. I had never met Callisto in person, but I knew her when I saw her. Draped over a broken wicker chair like it was her throne, she examined us with one beady eye, the other hidden under a pirate-like patch, and a sneer worthy of Magneto.

"Caliban warned me of approaching mutants," She hissed to a large shrouded figure to her right. "This lot does not disappoint. But you have not all come to live with the Morlocks, have you?" Callisto's eyes darted between each of us. "Speak."

"Thank you," I said quickly. "For seeing us. We're—"

"I know who you are. You've come for a fight."

"What? No. We wanted to, um…" Growling grew louder around us. "…talk."

"Really?" Callisto's eyebrows flew up. "You wanted to _talk_ about how Morlock crime has been on the rise, then go home?" Snickers filled the damp air.

"We want to be your allies," I pressed. "Always have. Whether you accept that help or not, our job is to ensure mutant protection. We can't do much for you if you're running around the city causing mayhem."

" _When have you ever done anything for us?"_ Callisto's shriek made me jump, but I didn't step back. I took in a breath.

"It's within both of our best interests to keep the mutant image in a good light," I said in a monotone.

"Spoken like a true Xavier-ite," The dark queen's lip curled. "Look at us, child. Do we seem to care about _image?_ "

My mission. Stick to my mission. I tried to remember the speech I'd memorized on the way over.

"The Morlocks live undisturbed now, but that will change if your members are caught mugging people in the streets! Up there, authorities are coming down hard on people like us. If anyone suspects you might be a threat? I guarantee they will do anything they can to wipe you out, and we'll be powerless to stop it." I could see the anger surge through her with every word I spoke, but she was attentive. "Please," I said. "We came to warn you—no- _beg_ you, to be more cautious."

"Caution is the only thing we know, you stupid girl" Callisto growled. "None of us set foot above ground. You've been easily fooled, though I'd expect nothing less from a human-dweller."

"What do you mean?" asked Monty from behind me.

"These crimes you speak of?" Callisto said. "I am aware of them. But I can assure you no Morlock is responsible."

"There are pictures," Nick said.

"Of brutes in silly _costumes_ ," She replied impatiently. "I've heard of these robbers, oh yes, in Morlock disguises, defiling our name. We were secret for so long, but when one above ground discovered our existence it was only a matter of time before legends of us were perpetuated. So, _no_ , it is not we who have been reckless."

"You think you're being framed," I surmised. "Intentionally?"

"Who is to say? The passionate hate from humans cannot be explained. Whether they thought it was a clever way to avoid prison, or if they want _us_ to pay the price for their wrongdoings…well, I believe that's _your_ job to figure out, is it not?"

The place went quiet except for the dripping of water. I had no reason to believe her. I had no reason not to. I didn't know which truth I would've preferred: the Morlocks stealing to survive, or humans stealing under their name to spread hatred.

The Morlocks were crowding in even tighter now, and I could tell that we had overstayed our welcome. I tried to suppress a gulp.

"Right," I started to back away from the advancing bared teeth. "We'll…look into it."

"Going so soon?" Callisto purred. "You've only just arrived."

"You know we're on your side," I tightened my jaw. "We didn't come searching for trouble."

"Then you shouldn't have come searching for us at all."

We were completely surrounded now, and there was no escape. I was cursing Hank for thinking it would be anything more than a friendly encounter with the Morlocks, but then again he had had more luck with them than anyone else.

"Callisto…" I said warningly, prepping my body for a fight and feeling my colleagues behind me do the same.

"Fear not," She said, holding up a hand. "We do not wish you harm. But we can't have you all up there knowing exactly where to find us. The wrong word has been slipped before…" She snapped her fingers and out from the shadows limped a young girl with maroon skin and white hair. She looked no more than thirteen, but her eyes were aged well past mine. "Jiyi…wipe them."

Her command faded into nothingness just as quickly as the world around me did.

When I came to, we were all above ground again, standing at the top of the stairs to a subway station I hadn't even seen before. It was nowhere near wherever the Morlock shelter had been. Around me, everyone looked like they were just waking up from a nap.

"It's okay," When I spoke I had to fight the urge to vomit. "She just erased our travel memories…" I could still remember the encounter with Callisto. She had made sure of that.

"Can we take our lunch break, then?" Nick joked as we slowly regained our bearings.

I wasn't back to myself, though. Something wasn't right. I could still feel something…some _one_ inside my head. The girl's vibrations rattled in my skull so violently, until finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I remember tipping over the edge of the stairs and people reaching out for me as I passed out. Ironically, the only thing I felt in that moment was relief that my brain was taking a break.

* * *

I awoke once more, in the SHIELD infirmary. My trusted supervisor was at my side, as I should have expected. There was no pain, except for a dull ache in my arm.

"Hi," I grunted. "What's the damage this time?"

"Broken wrist. Nothing serious," Hank sighed. "You always have to be such a contradiction, don't you, Maggie? Your powers are protective, and yet…"

"I can't protect myself, yeah, yeah. I don't get my memories wiped every day, though." I rolled my eyes. "Did anyone else…?"

"Faint? No, they recovered almost instantly."

"So why me?" I almost whined. "I could still feel that mutant, even long after we were back on the streets…"

"You may have trapped some of her energy in you," speculated Hank, regarding me like a challenging puzzle rather than a friend. "I think your mind is highly reactive when foreign forces try and invade. Nothing to be ashamed of."

"It is, a little." I frowned. "I can't be passing out all the time."

"I'm sure you won't be. The others filled me in on the meeting with Callisto. Thank you for going down there."

"You think people are actually framing the Morlocks? I didn't think anyone knew about them."

"I can't be sure at the moment," He said thoughtfully, like a wise man pondering his next chess move. "Something to dig into."

"Cool," I said, swinging my legs off of the hard nurse's cot. I had a little cast around my wrist, covering one of the burns Jamie had left me. My watch had been removed and was lying on the end table by the bed. I grabbed it, slapped it on the opposing wrist.

"I'm giving you the rest of the day off," Hank said, confused at my sudden stimulation. "Go home."

"Can I be honest?" I asked. He nodded. "I don't want the others to think I…to think I've…"

"To think you're weak?" He finished. I flushed red.

"Something like that."

"Maggie…" Hank began what I was sure would be a highly soothing and motivating pep talk, but was interrupted by the opening of the door.

Bruce Banner stood there, fiddling with his glasses and looking like a vampire who couldn't come in unless invited.

"Dr. McCoy," Bruce said respectfully to Hank.

"Dr. Banner," Hank smiled. "Come to see the patient?"

"It doesn't look like she's being very patient," Bruce grinned at me, this time, looking at my feet already halfway to standing.

I couldn't find my voice. It hadn't been long since I last saw him, but it might as well have been years for the way my eyes took him in like a miner seeing the sun. He didn't look wary of me, like he had when he'd left my apartment. He looked…happy to see me.

When I couldn't even open my mouth to acknowledge his visit, Hank tapped the bed and stood up.

"I'll leave you two. Bruce, tell her to take it easy," He sidled out of the room with one last stern look in my direction.

"Hey," He started, looking uncomfortable as he stepped closer. "So, uh, how are you feeling?"

I waved my little cast in the air.

"They say I'll live," I mused. "Why'd you come?"

"I heard you were hurt," Bruce shrugged tightly. "I wanted to."

"It was just a scratch."

An awkward pause in which he shifted his weight from leg to leg, in lieu of his usual pacing when he was anxious.

"I guess I also missed you," He admitted quietly.

"I missed you too." He ignored the comment, and I didn't blame him. Instead, Bruce slowly came to sit beside me on the bed and stuffed his glasses in his shirt pocket.

"I don't want to be a source of fear for you, Bruce," I whispered when he was next to me. "If you can't be around me, I really understand."

Again, he said nothing.

"What happened to taking some time away from me?" I asked.

"Easier said than done," Bruce finally responded with a small smirk. "I was curious if you felt the same way."

"You know I do."

"Then…I think I'm gonna stop fighting it," He said. "Better for my sanity, anyway."

I swallowed hard, and looked at the profile of his face, still turned away from me.

"Does that mean," I started softly. "I can come back to you? I can help in the lab? Stand by you?" I exhaled when he didn't stop me. "And…hold your hand?" The question was childish, but I had to know. At last, he looked at me with his sad brown eyes that saw everything so clearly.

"Whenever you like," Bruce told me. He gently folded my hand between both of his and pressed it to his lips.

We'd been given permission, then, to pretend just for a little longer. I wanted that moment, that beginning of our game, to last forever. It wouldn't, but I would savor it anyway.


	19. SHIELD (VIII)- Puppets

"How do I look?"

I had been standing in front of the mirror in Bruce's bedroom for a vain amount of time. The only other instance I'd been caught in a floor-length dress was my high school prom, and I had tripped over it whenever I'd stood up. But that night, I'd somehow convinced myself that 'fancy' was a sleek black fabric that fell down to my toes, and a gold chain around my neck. I asked Bruce, even though I knew what I looked like, as he came out from the bathroom in a puff of aftershave and a tux that fit him like a dream. He came to stand beside me, and our reflections smiled. The portrait of a classy couple, hung on the wall.

"Beautiful," Bruce answered at last with satisfying awe. "And me?" He stuck out his arms and turned slowly to show off every inch of the suit.

"Beautiful." I grinned.

"Shall we go downstairs?" He asked with an anguished sigh. The gala should have been in full swing at that point, and since it was held in the fine lobby of Avenger's mansion, all we had to do was descend the steps just outside Bruce's room.

I glanced at the clock.

"Do you think we're fashionably late enough?"

He rolled his eyes but chuckled and took my hand. "Come on. Let's rip this band-aid off."

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said snootily. "It's going to be fun."

Of course I'd wanted to go. I would have to be a fool to turn down an invitation to an Avengers party. Still, when Bruce had asked me to escort him, my anxiety went through the roof. I kept it under wraps, because I was sure he was dreading the event far more than I. The fact remained, however, that I did not belong with the caliber of people in attendance.

My self-conscious fears were only confirmed when we entered the scene. A variety of stunning people, richer and more confident than I ever hoped to be, filled the candelabra lit hall. There was a string quartet, but no dancing, and the music was only accompaniment for the hundreds of loud conversations scattered throughout the event. I'd never seen the mansion look more like…a mansion. I half expected a murder mystery to take place.

I realized I'd been gripping Bruce's arm tighter and tighter as we neared the crowd, so he placed his hand on mine and whispered, "Relax. We're almost to the buffet table."

However, before we could reach the piles of finger foods, we were intercepted by a large man in a suit and beard, who looked surprised to see us. Beside him, I recognized the CEO of Stark Industries herself, the widowed Pepper Potts.

"You made it," the man said, trying to contain his pleasure at the sight of Bruce in a suit.

"Kind of hard to avoid a party you're sleeping above," said Bruce grimly. He turned to the blonde at the man's side. "Good to see you, Pepper. Happy. How's Morgan?"

"No more or less than fine," Pepper Potts smiled gently at the two of us, but couldn't hide her confusion. "You brought…a date?"

"This is Maggie. She supervises Dr. McCoy's mutant division at SHIELD."

"Hello," I said quietly. She shook my hand and her expression became warmer. There was trepidation in her eyes, like she feared for us even though she didn't know us. Maybe it wasn't about us at all. I noticed she kept looking in all directions, sorting out who was in the present company. The man called Happy, on the other hand, seemed unperturbed.

He clapped a hand on Bruce's shoulder and leaned in to whisper something I couldn't make out. Then, they bid us good evening and got lost in the throng once more.

"What did he say?" I asked the second the couple was out of earshot.

"Nothing," Bruce shook his head.

"Don't 'nothing' me," I looped my arm through his and steered his distracted legs towards the food. "Is there trouble?"

"Someone I was hoping never to see again snagged an invitation," Bruce's eyes scoured the heads around us. "But that's a party for you, right?"

"Shove as many of these spinach pastries as you can into your pockets, and we'll sneak back upstairs," I recommended, but I, too, was scanning the area and trying to guess who the unwelcome guest was. I didn't have time to ask further, because we were approached by yet another of Bruce's old friends. Tall, grey haired, and very clearly muscular underneath his wrinkles and grey suit, it could only have been one man that lit up Bruce's eyes in such a way.

"Steve," He said, throwing a startled hug around the first Captain America. "I…didn't…"

"Didn't expect to see me," The soldier smiled. "You've been gone a while, but you must know I'm not public enemy number one anymore." It occurred to me that Bruce hadn't been in the states since Steve Rogers was pardoned.

"What, so, are you back to being an Avenger?" Banner gaped. Steve looked uncomfortable at the question.

"Part-time consultant. I don't know if you noticed, but the fighting days are long behind me," He clutched his glass of water harder and took to looking around the room as if for an escape. "I ran into General Ross earlier. I'd be careful about him. Word is he's not too pleased about you or me being back at the mansion."

"Happy was saying," Bruce said grimly. "I'm keeping my eye out."

"Apologies, miss, I don't believe I caught your name," His blue eyes turned to me.

"Maggie," I held out my hand for him to shake and made a mental note to rub it in Sonia's face later.

"Steve."

"Steve," Bruce interrupted our introduction, still dazed by the sight of Cap. "No one's told me a goddamn thing. I don't even know the way in which the Sokovia Accords have been amended since…" He lowered his tone to a whisper. "Everyone's on edge, and the only news I get is lab analyses. Did they get you to sign? Or Sam? Is that why you're here?"

Captain America looked like he had never told a lie in his entire life, but his face wavered as he tried.

"Everything is okay, Bruce," He said. "Aside from your typical annual intergalactic threat and a neo-nazi or two showing up on the streets, of course. We've been handling it. In fact, I think things are finally going back to _normal._ "

"What does normal look like to you, Mr. Rogers?" I asked. "A world without war?"

He turned to me, appraising me for the first time.

"No, ma'am. A world where we can see an end to war."

I wondered what war he was fighting, and if he was winning or losing. If Bruce was embarrassed by my comment, he shrugged it off. He was about to interrogate Steve further, but the captain stopped him.

"This primagen that was found in Latveria," He changed the subject. "I asked T'Challa if he knew anything, but he and Doom are at diplomatic odds at the moment."

"I can't tell if I'm more worried about it ending up in Doom's hands or it staying in SHIELD's," Bruce muttered. Cap smiled.

"At least here we have checks and balances," He said. "You do good work, Doctor."

"I hope."

Steve's face fell as another pair of footsteps came up from behind. He didn't have time to warn us before an old man with a neat beard and disciplined eyes stalked up to our trio.

"As I live and breathe. Bruce Banner," The man said in underwhelmed voice.

"Thaddeus," Bruce made clear with every inch of his body that this was the last person he'd wanted to run into. "I mean, General Ross."

"I was hoping to find you this evening. I wondered if I might steal you from Rogers for just a moment," Ross said smoothly. He didn't acknowledge me. "We have so much to catch up on."

Bruce glanced back helplessly at me and Steve, but nodded dutifully. With a fatherly hand, Ross led him away from us as if he had him in a trance.

"Who…?" I began, but Steve already sensed my confusion.

" _That_ ," He said, dripping with as much distaste as a gentleman could. "That was the man who approved the Sokovia Accords and hunted me and my unregistered team mates for some odd years."

"I can see you've forgiven him," I said. He chuckled blandly.

"We're not exactly friends, but we've come to an agreement. We're all on the same side, after all," Steve said, though he sounded unsure. "He and Banner, though. They have a history that goes back further than any of us." I looked at him expectantly just before he said, "Though I have no idea what it is."

I stared at the patch of people through which Ross and Bruce had just disappeared. It was then that I spotted a face that was, at last, familiar to me. However, it was not one I was prepared to meet. She stood with her back to me, but I knew it was her just by the way she carried her hands and her head. She was wearing a black cocktail dress that suited her, and having a one worded conversation with someone. Steve noticed her at the same moment.

"Wanda!" He called, and the Scarlett Witch turned around. Her smile, something I had never genuinely witnessed before, faltered when her eyes landed on me. She recognized me, too.

All of a sudden, I felt a dark pit root itself in my stomach. There she stood, not as the villain I'd known but the Avenger she was. We'd both made it out of the Brotherhood, but we both knew what the other had done. She was a reminder of a terrible me, and by the look on her face I symbolized something similar in her eyes. I couldn't be in that room anymore. The air felt too thick to breathe.

"Excuse me," I said briskly to Steve, and began a fast zigzag out of the hall without looking back. They could catch up on their mutual heroism without my presence darkening her mood.

I located the first staircase I could, and didn't stop going up until there was no more "up" to go. I found a patch of dark empty steps and sat, instantly wrinkling my gown. The music from far below could be heard like distant crickets in a meadow. I felt guilty for a moment for abandoning Bruce, but the thought of returning to the soiree suddenly seemed unfathomable.

I was alone for a total of five minutes before a shadow loomed over me. I turned and almost jumped at the sight of Loki, who was throwing down a pitying look from the top step.

" _Jesus_!" I cried. "Don't scare me like that!"

"How would you prefer I scare you?" The trickster smiled slyly and came to sit beside me.

"What the fuck are you even doing here?" I asked, scooting over to make room nonetheless. "You're supposed to be on lockdown."

"Fear not," Loki sighed. He dipped his hand through my head, proving his figure to be nothing more than one of is illusions. "I am."

I resigned to his company and folder my hands over my knees. "Somehow, I think I'd rather be with you in the Negative Zone than at this party."

"No you don't."

"No," I agreed. "I don't. Why are you here?"

"Boredom, namely," Loki said, curling his long dark hair around a finger. "I thought there might be decent music. And I needed to stretch my astrophysical legs."

"If someone catches you haunting the house, you're in deep shit," I muttered.

"I didn't think anyone _unauthorized_ would be able come up this far," He sniffed. "It seems I was wrong."

"I'm semi-authorized," I argued.

"Ah, yes, and especially now that you are the Hulk's romantic interest?" Loki jeered.

"News travels fast down in prison, huh?"

"Only for those who listen."

I stared quietly at the abstract painting hanging over the stairwell. An excuse not to look at him.

"And you?" He asked the question I knew he would. "Why have you stolen away from the festivities?"

"Does the phrase 'social anxiety' mean something to you?" I asked haughtily. Then, I sighed. "It was too much. To see everyone. I did meet Captain America, though."

"How charming that SHIELD is parading their little mascot about," He chortled. "The prodigal son has returned, and they couldn't be happier."

"What do you mean?" I raised an eyebrow.

"He's little more than a puppet, these days," Loki told me. "I don't know the circumstances under which he came back, but I'd wager it wasn't of his own desire."

"Yikes. Even the Avengers don't want to be here."

"They don't have a choice," He continued, with a small impish smile. "They're worshipped idols, and as such they have to maintain the right image. Would you agree that a world in which Captain America is the villain is an unstable one?"

"It _was_ …" I thought back to the years during which the media told us day after day that our heroes were suddenly criminals.

"Precisely. It couldn't last. Now, he's back under the right light, but who knows at what cost to his values?" He seemed too giddy at the prospect of corruption. "I can assure you, Captain America is as much a prisoner as I am."

I gazed into his eyes, almost boy-like with excitement at how the world around him was crumbling.

"You've thought a lot about this," I noted.

"I've had a lot of free time," Loki pursed his lips.

The song far beneath us swelled, and my thoughts fell back to the trapped souls still at the party.

"I should be getting back," I murmured, but it took me a moment to bring myself to my feet. Somehow, I was comforted to be sitting out of time with the God of Mischief, far from my reality.

"Enjoy," He said airily, and without so much as a parting look, he phased into nothingness. I wondered if he only had come in search of someone to talk to. Did the prince fear loneliness like everyone else?

I shook my head clear of any lingering psychoanalyses, and trotted back down the stairs. I reached the ornate doors that lead to the rich lights and laughing guests, but I lingered outside and watched people come and go instead of returning myself. Finally, the man I wanted to see leave came through. I saw him before he saw me.

"Hi," I said, and Bruce whipped his head towards me. The relief that washed over him as he took me in was my favorite part of the evening. He came at me without a word, wrapped his arms around me, and kissed me. Hard. Fleetingly. "What was that for?" I whispered when we broke apart. He didn't answer. "Is everything…?"

"Fine. Everything's fine," Bruce said quietly. "Maybe let's not go to any more parties for a while."

"Deal," I grinned, and tested my luck by kissing him once more.

I walked him back up to his room. He never let me stay the night. He told me it was too tempting. But I spent as long as I could with him until the night egged us toward sleep. Tonight, however, he seemed keen on keeping me long past our usual curfew. I sat on the bed while he undressed, and watched as he kept his back to me. He often did that when he had something he needed to say.

"Bruce," I said. "What is it?" He paused his fumbling with his shirt buttons.

"I may be going away for a bit."

I tried not to instantly panic at the words.

"Where?" I swallowed.

"A summit has been arranged in Latveria regarding the Primagen. They want me to stay for a while, demonstrate the stabilizer for the community, and take a look at what Doom's been using the stuff for."

"What? Why?" I asked. "SHIELD isn't considering ending their trade embargo, are they?"

"The United States is. They think it might be a step towards an alliance with Latveria."

"And they want that because…?"

"They're power hungry," Bruce shrugged. "They want to keep Doom in check, and I bet you they want that Primagen. Their options are starting a war, or forming a union. I'm grateful it's the latter, for now."

"I still don't see why _you_ have to go," I frowned. He came and sat next to me.

"I volunteered," He admitted. "I don't trust them with my tech designs for harnessing the Primagen's power. General Ross alone would weaponize it in a heartbeat."

"So that's what he was talking to you about tonight."

"Yes."

I took a deep breath.

"You're right," I said. "You have to go."

He placed a hand on mine.

"It won't be long. Two months, at the most."

"There's no chance you could take me with you?"

He chuckled and pressed his forehead against my shoulder.

"Hank would hate me," Bruce pointed out. I smiled at his passive compliment, but I knew at the same time that he didn't really want me to come. I would be a distraction.

"It's gonna suck around here without you," I said, trying to keep my emotions entirely casual. "Even for a bit."

"It sucks anyway. Embrace it." He was a tough mentor, but I adored him for it. I smiled as I kissed him one more time, failing to remember what my life had been without him at the center.


	20. SHIELD (IX)- Surprise

I'm prone to emotion, like most people I know. It comes at unexpected, and often unwanted moments. It hits you hard, then abandons you to deal with the repercussions of its presence. That being said, I'd dealt with a lot of feelings in my lifetime, and I was under the impression there wasn't a single one I couldn't cope with. That would be my ongoing folly. But, as always, I was surprised when sadness struck me violently the day after Bruce departed.

"If anything happens…" I'd told him as I'd helped him pack. "If you need to talk. I'm a phone call or Facetime away."

"I'll keep that in mind. Though I hear the reception in Latveria's not great," He smiled and slowly kissed my forehead like it would be the last time. I realized, in that instant, that he wouldn't miss me as much as I would miss him. "Be good," were his parting words, a la _ET_ , and I told him I would even though I had no idea what that meant.

I didn't get to see him off. The dispatch of him and the SHIELD agents was top secret, so he couldn't even say what time he was leaving.

It wouldn't be forever. It wouldn't even be a while. But his sudden absence made me feel more alone than I had in a long time.

It shouldn't have shaken me the way it did, but the night after he left I began to have nightmares. It was like my body was finally processing the horrors it had been through, but it just needed one small push over the edge. I dreamt of Jamie. Of the face of the cop who shot me. I dreamt my scar grew to take over my entire body, and that the poison from the mutant tail was still coursing through my veins. And I dreamt of those damn fish I'd killed in Havana.

I would often wake up to an even more frightening scene. My bedsheets hovering above me, my glass of water smashed on the ground, and my fingertips aching. I'd never used my powers in my sleep before, to the best of my knowledge.

One rare morning when I had Hank to myself, I raked up the courage to tell him what I'd wanted to for ages.

"Something's wrong with me," I mumbled over a cup of coffee in his office. He was never in his office, so the place looked unnervingly clean. McCoy himself was even using a coaster for the occasion. I couldn't remember the last time we'd sat together in there.

"Me too," He joked. "I've got blue hair all over my body." I tried to laugh.

"Nah, you're totally normal. Something's just wrong with everyone else."

Hank leaned back in his chair and studied me as if he could tell what was wrong without asking.

"What's bothering you, Maggie?"

"My powers," I said quietly. "They're acting up."

"Acting up?"

I sighed. "You know what I mean. They're…unpredictable. Doing things I didn't know I could do."

"Aspects of our mutations we didn't know about can be accessed at times of stress or change. You know, already, that mental-based powers are deeply connected to your emotions."

"Yeah, no, I know," I pressed. "I just…Something happened in Havana. I was, I dunno, anxious or whatever. I was near some fish in a tank. And I…um, they…" I couldn't finish the sentence for some reason, despite having dreamt about the event several times that week.

Hank raised his eyebrow, his interest piqued.

"You zapped them." He stated.

"To put it delicately," I frowned. He didn't laugh, though. On the contrary, Hank looked just as I'd feared he would. Concerned.

"I knew that you could control existing trace amounts of activity in the brains of other beings," He said slowly. "But I never thought it'd be possible for you to amplify their level of radiation to the point of cellular death."

"Well, neither did I. But what if it happens again?"

"Fish are small systems that reside in water, a conductant," Hank tried to sound consoling. "I very much doubt you could cause serious damage to anything larger."

"You don't know, though."

"No, I don't."

We paused for a moment, my eyes drifting over the stains on the mug I was holding.

"You can guess what I'll suggest, but I don't think you'll like it," Hank began, adjusting his glasses.

"I don't want to bother the Professor with this," I said sharply. I hadn't been back to the X-Mansion since my recovery. My relationship with Charles Xavier was nothing but a distant, painful memory. He may have been the best to take my case, but I couldn't ask anything of him in good conscience. I'd still betrayed him, forgiven or not.

"Then I'd recommend an MRI," He had already taken out a Post-It and was jotting something down. "Just to see if there's anything abnormal that may be causing a sudden flare of these involuntary bursts of your powers."

He slipped the paper over to me. It had the name of some fancy medical facility.

"I'll give them a call, get you in next week," said Hank. "It's just to give you peace of mind, though, Maggie. I wouldn't worry in the meantime." Even as he said it, I knew he wasn't thinking it. I was sure he was imagining all the horrible things I could do if I got out of control. Or…maybe he really wasn't worried.

"Thank you," I said softly. "I, um. Sorry. You called me in here to give me an assignment, not act as my therapist."

"I'm multi-faceted," Hank shrugged and smiled as he pulled something up on his little tablet computer. He flipped it around to show me the screen depicting an image of the Madison Square Garden home page. "Security," he explained. "The Dazzler has a show this weekend, and they're taking extra precautions this time around due to all the anti-mutant riots as of late. We're throwing you and the team over there for the night to aid in surveillance."

I stared at him.

"So, I have to be a security guard for a rockstar at one of the largest music venues in New York. No offense, but it sounds like a nightmare."

Hank shrugged.

"Free concert. Good view. Try to have fun," He told me. Then, he sighed. "I know it doesn't seem like it. But this kind of work is important. We have to look out for each other wherever we can, and in whatever capacity."

"I know. I'm sorry," I amended immediately. A thought struck me. "Shit, though, I think I'm supposed to be Loki-sitting this weekend."

"Hmm. We'll work something out with Hill," He waved it off like my only obligation was to housesit a puppy. "By the way, I meant to commend you for your work with Banner. I heard you were a big help."

I raised an eyebrow.

"You want to commend me or you want to know about my love life?"

His chuckle was sheepish.

"You two share similarities," Hank said thoughtfully. "Chemically. His gamma toned abilities only react strongly to his adrenaline, as yours also may."

"Okay, science geek. Good to know you approved of my short-lived relationship with the Hulk."

"Fine, fine. Enough gossip," He continued to laugh. "Let's get you prepped for this weekend."

I had never been to a concert before, save for coffee shop open mics and college bands. Not a _real_ concert, anyway. My first one, and I didn't even get to dress up. I had to wear a bleak security uniform provided by the company that Madison Square Garden had hired out to do most of the watchdog-ing. My squad and I were spread out all across the arena, stationed at very particular locations to ensure there was a mutant for every thousand-square-foot or whatever. I didn't have to check bags, so I was grateful for that. In fact, I was standing with an awesome view of the stage, up against a railing that separated two large sections of very uncomfortable looking seats. I surveyed every person that walked in and out, and scanned the seats for any iffy figures, but so far everyone looked like they were just there to have a good time. How refreshing.

"Drink?" said a voice next to me. Loki was holding up two plastic cups of gross looking beer. Yep—Hill's idea of 'working something out' for Loki-coverage was to bring him along. And leave him with me. And thousands of innocent people. In a large space. _What could possibly go wrong?_ I'd wanted to shout in Hill's face, but I didn't. They'd taken extra measures. Slapped wristbands on him in addition to his inhibitor collar that acted as weights to keep him from making any sudden movements. He couldn't use his powers, but he'd been allowed to change his appearance. If someone were to recognize him, it would be a disaster. His face remained the same, but his straggly black hair had been reduced to a short cut of blonde waves. His outfit was security themed, like mine. He also had on a tracker that made it impossible for him to move more than 10 feet away from me. That was the most annoying part. I didn't have free range. If I got too far and he got shocked unconscious by Stark's homemade implant, I'd have to drag his dead weight around the rest of the night. Another disaster. There were so many possible disaster endings to the scenario, I didn't have time to count them all before the night was already in full swing and there was nothing I could do about it.

Hank had told me that Hill was using this as an opportunity to test Loki's loyalty. I had my suspicions about that. I knew she was keeping him around for a reason, to bring him out as a weapon if need be. This must have been his trial run. To see if he could handle playing for our team.

Despite my mistrust, there was no one I'd rather be at a rock concert with. His face as he examined the scene was worth every non-existent penny I would have paid for a ticket.

I looked at the beer in his hands, confused.

"Where did you get those?" I'd only looked away from him for a minute.

"That Midgardian with an ample beard handed them to me," Loki said, nodding over to some guy making his way to his seat, who was clearly already drunk. "And I'm not one to refuse a libation on my first night of freedom."

"Yeah, don't accept drinks from strangers," I told him, but by the time I turned back he'd already downed one. I sighed. "Do you see anything weird?"

"Everything about this is weird," he replied, looking glassy eyed at the surroundings.

"I mean—"

"I know what you mean, and no, I don't believe anyone in our vicinity is remotely capable of any form of treachery. They're all too weak."

"Well," I said patiently. "Remember, we're not comparing them to you."

"They're nothing _you_ couldn't handle, either."

That made me smile, but I felt guilty for it. I opened my mouth, probably to say something self-deprecating, but the lights began to change and I knew the Dazzler was on her way in. She lived up to her name in the first few seconds she was onstage, and I felt a warmth fill me as her light shot out in my direction.

I could feel Loki beside me tense up, but not in aggression or defense. Just in shock. The god was actually moved by the performance. My trance lasted a good long time. My mouth went dry, and without realizing it I grabbed the other beer from Loki's hand and knocked it back.

That was my mistake. A few moments after the liquid began making its way through my body, I was ill. The nausea came fast and unrelenting, and I knew I was going to hurl. Loki gave me a curious look as I spun around and made a mad dash for the bathrooms. I forgot all about the poor prince who was chained to me, and I heard him running to keep pace.

I ran into the first open stall, knelt down on the grimy floor, and violently vomited. I coughed and sputtered, and almost didn't hear my stall door opening.

"Maggie," Loki said behind me.

"Wait outside," I ordered in between dry heaves, but he didn't listen. I heard him back away a few paces and lean against the sink.

"You're not well," He murmured unsympathetically.

"I'm well enough to fight you if you try anything," I managed to spit out. A part of me feared he would use my weakness as an opportunity to escape.

I heard the water in the sink turn on, and a few moments later he returned to my stall. In his hand was a wet paper towel.

"For your head," Loki explained. The murderer was offering me a cold compress, but I looked at it like it was a severed head. When I didn't react, he rolled his eyes and shoved it at me. "I'm trying to help."

I slumped backwards, once I was sure the barfing was done, and squeezed it over my eyes. I felt him sit beside me, and I was reminded of the night he'd found me at the gala. Had Loki overcome his hatred? Or was he merely trying to get on my good side? Either way, I didn't want him to stop the kind behavior.

"If you're feeling better," He said after what felt like ages. "We ought to return. Assure the arena wasn't demolished in our absence."

I nodded slowly, and let him help me to my feet.

"Must've been that beer," I mumbled. "Told you not to…"

"You don't see me vomiting all over the place, do you?" He scoffed. "You should've followed your own advice."

"I've never been very good at that," I mused, feeling tipsy without a drop left of alcohol in my system.

"One rarely is." Loki steadied me, and I found his eyes. They hid so much more than he would ever let on. I hadn't realized, before. His pain made him both good and bad. We had a lot more in common than I'd thought.

The concert ended with nothing to report, other than a stellar performance and a thrilled audience. I went home and threw up some more before sleeping for ten hours.

I was increasingly nervous as my MRI appointment grew closer and closer. I couldn't remember the last time I'd been to a doctor, and I'd certainly never had such a procedure. Part of me didn't want to know what was going on in my brain. Innocence was bliss.

However, the day eventually arrived. The nurses were nice, and it felt easier not to let my fear show once I was there.

"Do you have a history of kidney failure?" The practitioner was rattling off questions rapid-fire as I was walked down a hall and handed a cup to pee in.

"No. I don't think," I replied.

"Are you claustrophobic?" She continued.

"Nope."

"Are you pregnant or nursing?"

"Nope."

"And have you worked with sheet metal or been injured with metal shrapnel before?" That last prompt seemed out of nowhere.

"Uh…I was shot. A long time ago," I looked at my feet, embarrassed. She smiled kindly.

"You should be fine, Ms. Addams. I only ask because the machine uses magnetic fields instead of radiation, so any metal inside you might interfere. I assume the bullet was removed?"

"Yes." I must have looked anxious, still, because she halted me in the hallway for a moment.

"There's really nothing to worry about. It only takes about half an hour, and you can talk to me at any point," She said. "We just need this urine sample to do a quick pregnancy test and to ensure your kidneys are in good shape before we can safely get you in."

"Okay," I swallowed and nodded. My head was already spinning. I wondered if that was something they would pick up on their brain machine. Had their MRI ever seen a mutant mind before?

They had me wait for what felt like hours, but was probably more like twenty minutes. When finally my nurse returned, she had a puzzled look on her face. I immediately thought they'd found a brain tumor, but then I realized I hadn't even done the scan yet. I got to my feet automatically when she walked in.

"Hey," She said brightly. "I'm just gonna have you take one more pregnancy test for me. The last one came back positive."

I felt a weight off my shoulders. Just a fluke. A malfunction. "Sure," I said, ready to follow her in.

"You're sure there's no chance you're…?"

"Yup. I can't have kids." I tried not to think about the child I'd lost all those years ago. She was the only one I'd ever carry, I'd been told in the hospital after Danbury. My body was too broken.

But this time, because she handed me the little stick to pee on directly, I held onto it instead of delivering it right to her. I waited. I just wanted to see.

Because the longer I waited, the more I began to panic.

It wasn't possible. Was it? The only person I'd been with in recent memory was a complete genetic wasteland. Wasn't he?

My breathing became rapid as I paced around the bathroom. There was no way. Still, Hank had only just spoken to me about our biological similarities. And my body had repaired itself before.

No. No. It was the last thing I needed. Another complication. And yet…to think that it was even fathomable was undeniably fascinating. I hadn't had morning sickness the last time, but perhaps my sickness at the concert was all due to…

But it couldn't be.

I'd resolved that my fantasies were nothing more than unfounded worries, but that was before the little plus sign appeared on the stick I was so tightly grasping.


	21. SHIELD (X)-Not So Secret

"You lied to me."

"I did no such thing."

Hank spoke in a hushed voice, though I was sure we were the only ones left on the fourth floor. It was nearing midnight, yet I'd found him where I'd hoped I would—drifting to sleep over some stacks of paperwork in his makeshift lab.

"You told me," I accused. "In no uncertain terms, that I couldn't bear any more children."

He adjusted his spectacles in lieu of clearing his throat in his typical awkward fashion.

"I only relayed what the doctors said. I had no reason to question it, and neither did you."

"But you were wrong."

"Maggie, did you come to me for help or did you come for a fight?"

I frowned and picked up a pen from his desk to begin anxiously clicking.

"Both," I admitted. He sighed. Hank was doing an excellent job of not letting on, but I could see past his calm façade to a deeper fear of what this all meant.

"You took…what was it, _five_ tests you said? _And_ got it confirmed by a physician?" He asked.

"The evidence is damning."

We fell quiet. Hank had always been my confidant, but rarely had I approached him about something so strangely personal. I'd taken the time to think it through, and concluded that he was the only logical person to tell. He would be rational. That was all I needed.

I expected him to make me feel ashamed, but quite the opposite was true. He'd seen me through worse predicaments, after all. Deep down I just wanted him to comfort me, tell me everything was going to be alright even if it wasn't. But he was too smart for that.

"How?" I croaked out. "How is it possible?"

The doctor leaned back in his chair and clasped his hands together.

"I had a theory," He began. "When we first met. It had been a while since I'd heard of a mutant conception. They're rare, these days, you know. But when we were introduced…" He trailed off, reliving some unseen memory. He cleared his throat. "You were carrying a healthy child, despite what you'd been through."

A twinge of pain at the reminder of the lost girl. And of Jamie. I merely nodded and let him continue.

"Your powers have a theme of preservation. I thought, maybe, that didn't just constitute an immediate protection of your body. Perhaps it went further than that."

"Let me know when you get to the point, Einstein," I said.

Hank was still lost in thought as he spoke.

"One of the effects of your mutation may include an increased chance of conception," He said simply. "This…situation supports that theory."

"God, so fertility is one of my traits?" I wrinkled my nose, feeling awkward at last. "Like, I'm meant to save the mutant race from extinction?"

"Don't be ridiculous, that's not on you," Hank said at once.

"But…that's your answer?" I was feeling more panicky by the second. "Even if it's true, it doesn't account for…I mean, Banner is…Banner."

"I'm no expert on Banner. From what I know, his only disadvantage to passing on his genes is the Hulk. You seemed to have bypassed that, and thusly…" He trailed off.

"Thusly what?" I shot. "This kid could be a radiated nightmare?"

Hank's silence was affirming. I puffed out a mouthful of air and leaned back to stare at the wall above his head.

"Fuck me," I murmured.

"What's your game-plan, Maggie?" Hank asked, though it sounded like a rhetorical question.

"I…" I couldn't look him in the eyes. "I can't have it, right? I'll figure something out."

He nodded slowly, and tried to look at me like we were discussing no more than tomorrow's forecast.

"You understand why, though?" He leaned forward to make sure I was focused on him. "A child like that…"

"It wouldn't be fair," I agreed numbly. "To bring it into the world."

"It's not about fairness," Hank said sternly. "There are untold dangers for an infant with that kind of hereditary disposition. You haven't told anyone else?"

I shook my head.

"Good," He seemed to visibly relax. "Scientists, war-mongers, good, bad, and curious…many have tried to recreate Banner's incident for their own purposes. Tried and failed, thankfully. There's no telling what would happen if the wrong person were to find out that the Hulk can successfully spawn."

I tried to imagine the monster inside of me, but all I could see was Bruce's smiling face. I pushed the thought away and swallowed.

"Right," I said. "Well, I'll take care of it.

"Do you need me to-?"

"I said I'll take care of it."

We were still for another moment while Hank looked me, trying to scan for any signs of instability. I tried to shake my head clear.

"I've got some track record when it comes to motherhood," I joked halfheartedly. He did me a service by not laughing.

I found the nearest Planned Parenthood the next day. I trained myself the night before to think of it like a routine check-up. To completely avoid thinking about the procedure that was being done. It was over quickly. I thought that was the end of it.

Two weeks later, I was still throwing up, so I took advantage of my health benefits from SHIELD and saw yet another doctor. Only two words registered during my entire appointment: _Failed abortion_. Apparently, that was a thing.

I spent two days in limbo, not wanting to talk to anyone, and not having a clue as to how to proceed. It was just me and the unknown entity still growing within me. I never wanted kids. Not even when I was ready to have Jamie's. It feels horrendous to think that way, but it was a dark truth. How could _I_ , someone who can barely keep herself alive, and someone whose only experience with parents was filled with neglect and hate, dare to be responsible for a whole other human being? If remotely human is what it would be….

Out of the blue one night, he called.

"Bruce?" His voice was garbled, but there was no mistaking it on the other end. "Oh my god, is that really you?"

"Oh, hey, it worked," I could hear his smile. "Thought I'd give you a try."

"How are you? What's happening? Have you met Doctor Doom?" I was firing questions before he could formally greet me.

"I'm fine, I'm fine. I just…wanted to hear your voice, I guess."

"And is it everything you wanted?"

"It's great," Bruce chuckled. "A little off, though. You alright?"

"Um," I paused. "Yeah. Yes. Just been a feeling under the weather."

"Speaking of under the weather, I recommend _not_ going to Latveria on vacation. This place is one natural disaster after another. Worse than San Francisco."

"But you're alive? I've heard zero news about this new deal with Doom."

"There's a treaty in the works. I've just been given my own lab to keep popping out prototypes to harness the Primagen. No drama to report, yet, knock on wood."

"Good. Good and boring, then," I grinned.

"The way I like it."

I bit my lip hard, because I knew he couldn't see.

"Hey—can I ask you something?" I did my best not to make it sound ominous, but failed.

"Sure," He replied, though the trepidation seeped through his tone. "Anything."

"Are you indestructible?"

I blurted it out like a toddler, unable to think of a better way to phrase it or a modest build-up.

There was a pause before I heard him breathing again through the receiver.

"All I know is that the other guy is impervious to just about anything. Bullets, bombs…"

"Man-made objects."

"You worried about me?" Bruce almost laughed. I forced a grin that I hoped he could hear in my voice.

"Only a little."

"Don't be."

I wasn't about to tell him the real reason for my asking. He couldn't know about the radiation-infested mutant fetus, but the more I knew about him the more I was beginning to understand what I was dealing with. If this thing really possessed the genes of the Hulk…maybe it couldn't be penetrated. Maybe it was here to stay and there was nothing that could be done.

A sudden crescendo of emotion swelled inside of me. The rational part knew there was nothing but hardship lying in wait for this child[MK1] . _My_ child.

And what about me? I had no idea what we'd created here, and images of a monster child tearing me apart had haunted at least one of my nightmares in the past week.

 _Monster_ …that word wasn't fair. It didn't even exist in the world yet. It didn't know good from bad. It was a completely blank slate. Would the world see it that way? Probably not. But I could. Maybe that was all that mattered.

I was at a loss. Any move I made next would be the wrong one, and it was a decision I had to make entirely on my own.

"Maggie? You still there?" Bruce brought me back into my cubicle, where I'd been doing late night work before he called.

"Yeah…I…I just have to…go. Talk soon?" He couldn't know. Whatever this meant for me, it would be ten times harder for him. I was so nervous he could read my mind through the phone, that I hung up before he uttered a goodbye. I had missed him so goddamn much since the second he left, and yet the first time I speak to him, I'm anxious to be off.

I sat there for a minute or two, fighting the urge to put my hands on my stomach as my mind painted pictures of what my life was about to become.

There was no one I could turn to now that my fate felt sealed. Even Hank wouldn't be able to pull me up out of the mess I had gotten myself into.

I made my decision. My dear blue friend had been right about one thing—no one could know. I would never be safe. The child would never be safe. And, if I was stuck with them…I was going to fight like hell to make sure no one ever touched them. I had to go-it didn't matter where-and not come back.

My heart sank as I stood up from my desk and I tried to fight fearful tears that were lurking in the corner of my eyes. I would go home. Pack. Hop a train to somewhere. Alone. Sonia would surely be asleep. I would leave a note, make something up that she probably wouldn't even believe. The word would spread from there, and the department would get on without me. I'd find a remote village somewhere in the Amazon, and live with other scary beings until the kid was born…and, or, killed me.

A shuffling across the room made me jump.

"Who's there?" I called in a tremulous voice.

"What the fuck? It's me, Maggie," came the voice of Nick. "Don't scare me like that. I thought you left hours ago."

"What are you doing here?"

"Going into overtime. You?"

I swallowed and made sure he couldn't see my face.

"Nothing," I said. "About to go home."

"You okay?"

I thought long and hard about the answer. I never trusted Nick, but I also didn't dislike him.

"No," I finally said bluntly.

"Maggie—" He came toward me.

"I think I need help."


	22. SHIELD (XI)- Prisoner

I've been in hospitals. I've been in doctor's offices. I've been in screenings, labs, and schools. So, when I say that for the next 24 hours the medical team at SHIELD did "every test imaginable", I mean _every test imaginable_. Even a few unimaginable.

I had essentially been dropped like a stray dog on the doorstep of the infirmary wing, with only the instruction to scan me for gamma exposure. I explained my predicament to the confused scientists, and immediately they got to work. I'd never felt more alone, with a swarm of strangers regarding me as nothing more than a puzzling specimen.

I hadn't expected Nick to stay with me, and he didn't. I couldn't get a read on what he thought of me after I told him, but it didn't seem good. Still, he offered to bring me down there, and that was a kindness I couldn't repay.

I wondered who he would tell first. Hill? Hank? Or worse, Bruce? Maybe he would keep it between us until some certainty had been obtained. Part of me hoped he would find something more important to occupy his mind, or at least more pressing than my big mistake.

Mistake. It _was_ a mistake, but calling it that didn't make it any less real.

An hour later, they confirmed that there was, in fact, a child. Still alive. Still growing. Still mysterious.

"I couldn't get a read with the amniocentesis," I heard one of them whispering by a computer. There were only two of the team left in the room with me, and they were poring over the data they'd just collected from my body. "It was like the embryonic sac was impenetrable."

"Anything from the ultrasound?" The other one asked.

"Looks normal to the untrained eye."

"And to the trained one?"

"Not sure. There's definitely something weird going on, but it's too early to tell. The fetus is still intact despite all abortion measures."

"'Something weird'. Very scientific," the taller one scoffed.

"Hey, this is beyond my experience." The most reassuring words one could hear from a doctor. "It did take an abnormally long time to locate it." I propped myself up on my elbows and looked over at the two of them, huddled like they'd forgotten I was there.

"When can I go home?"

The lab coats looked at each other like I was speaking in tongues. My heart sank as I realized I wouldn't want to hear the answer to that question.

"We're going to be bringing in a specialist to take a closer look at the fetus," The younger man said, keeping his eyes on the monitor and far away from me. "We'll keep you here for observation until then, just in case it posits any immediate health threats."

"But if it doesn't?" I asked, annoyance turning my volume up.

"The truth is, Ms. Addams, we don't really know what we're dealing with. Protocol with potential bio-hazards ranges from—"

"So far, this has been no different from a normal pregnancy," I said. "Save for the whole…indestructible thing…"

"Well," He tried to look sympathetic. "Key phrase is 'so far'." He turned back to his partner, and I disappeared from their periphery once more. "Find out when Simmons returns. She'll be able to make something out of these readings."

They walked from the room. They locked the door. And in that moment, I finally realized that I had become a prisoner.

Instead of falling asleep until the next wave of torture came, I hopped out of the bed and took a look at the pictures they were examining. The still from the ultrasound was up on the screen, and it was clearer than I'd been expecting. I could easily make out the gray mass that was the baby. At six weeks, it had already begun to take on the shape of a head and body, but it didn't look like much more than an enigmatic blob. Sleepily, I reached up and pressed my finger against the lump on the screen.

"Hey," I whispered. "Guess you're stuck with me, after all."

All at once, my throat became tight and I began choking back tears. I tried desperately to reign myself back in, but I was already sinking to my knees on the sterile floor, clenching my fists like I was holding onto nothing for dear life. I'd really fucked up, this time. I was alone. Terrified. Possibly dying. And it was nobody's fault except mine.

I wanted to be home. It was the first time I longed for my childhood bed, back when my parents would tuck me in, before they found out I was grotesque. That was another me. A me I would never go back to, and had never wanted to until that moment. Then, I wanted Bruce. Then, I wanted Jamie. Then, I wanted to never see anyone ever again.

I could still run. Go back to my original plan and bash my way out of the secure facility, running as far as my legs could take me and this unborn terror.

Ripples of energy surged along my spine and through my fingertips, but I wasn't going to let myself out of control. Not this time.

"Breathe," I said in an inaudible sob. "Just breathe."

Somehow, I kept breathing. Somehow, I ended up back in the stiff hospital bed. Somehow, I slept until the next morning all the way until a new stranger walked in.

My eyes snapped open at the sound of the door being unlocked. The beeping and clunking made me feel like I was being kept in a secret vault. She came in alone, which surprised me. Perhaps she wanted to meet me before inviting the team back in. She had a beautiful, youthful face that had been darkened by something. She was distracted as she entered, which somehow made me feel calmer. If there were scarier things on her mind, perhaps my situation was not as bad as I'd thought. She did manage to force a smile when I caught her eye, and she pulled up a seat right next to where I lay.

"So, Magnolia Addams, is it? That's a pretty name." She had a bright, chipper British accent that immediately made her sound ten times smarter than she looked.

"Thanks. Maggie is fine," I said, my mouth dry.

"I'm Jemma Simmons," She pulled her long hair back into a ponytail. "I'll be taking a look at your case."

"Can I have my phone?"

"Your—what?" She seemed surprised by the question.

"My phone," I said again. "They took it away from me last night. I want to check it."

"I'm not sure where…"

I sighed.

"I haven't told my boss I'm not coming in today." That made her smile slightly.

"I think you'll find SHIELD has you covered on that front. Besides," She wheeled away from me in her chair and towards one of the many screens in the room. "I'm not sure you want anyone to know where you are."

" _I_ don't? Or SHIELD doesn't?" I frowned. She didn't bother looking up.

"Both. It's for your own safety."

"Why, though?" I tried not to sound whiny, but I did. I needed answers. I couldn't keep filling in the blanks for myself. "I get it, this thing is an anomaly. It could be a monster baby, but also it could _not_. So why am I being held against my will?"

Jemma raised her eyebrows.

"Is there some place you'd rather be?"

I thought long and hard, because the rational part of me knew there was not. In fact, I was quite possibly in the most capable and knowledgeable hands. But it still felt wrong. I sufficed silence as an answer.

Doctor Simmons got right to work.

"There's definitely signs of radioactivity, but whether it's your normal state of mutation or a result of the fetus is difficult to pinpoint. How have you been feeling in the last few week?"

The first normal question I'd been asked in a while.

"Ill," I admitted, trying not to think of how I'd puked in front of a God not too long ago. "But that happened last time, too."

"You've been pregnant before?"

I could only nod.

"But," I shook my head. "It felt different. A different kind of sickness."

"We'll monitor you for any changes," Jemma said kindly. "It's important you tell us everything. No bit of information is too small."

I felt I could trust her. Ask her the things I couldn't find the words for the night before when I'd been probed and prodded.

"They tried to get rid of it again, last night. Didn't they?" I whispered. I'd been under for many of the procedures. I'd suspected they'd tried and failed yet again.

Jemma's lips tightened.

"Yes."

"Why couldn't they do it?"

"They couldn't break the amniotic sac, from what I was told. They couldn't…well, they ultimately felt they couldn't do it without killing you." She tried to sound sympathetic but her words were almost robotic.

"And why didn't they kill me?"

She took pause at that, and slid back over to my side.

"You're innocent," was her soft reply. _Was I?_ I wanted to say.

"And this baby isn't?" I said instead.

"A potential threat is a potential threat. You consented to an abortion, are you denying that now?"

"No," I said. "I'm just trying to wrap my head around all of this. What if it's a normal child? I mean, what if it has _my_ genes, the X-Gene, and that's why the readings are so weird? What if it's not a threat?"

She looked at me almost sadly for a good long moment. I knew she was thinking that a mutant child wouldn't necessarily pose any less of a threat. Or, maybe I was just projecting.

"I suppose we're going to find out in due time," Jemma said, slipping a cuff around my arm with spy-like subtlety to take my blood pressure.

It rose in an instant when I heard yelling from down the hall. It grew louder until the voices became audible, and one very recognizable. There was rapid beeping from the code-locked door before Hank burst into the room. My knight in blue fuzzy armor.

"What's the meaning of this?" He shouted at Jemma and the two lab coats that had chased him in. "You cannot keep her prisoner here, you have no right!"

"Sir, I—" Jemma stood up. "I assure you, she's no prisoner. She's a patient."

"You confiscate her things and lock her in a room overnight, I call that poor hospitality," he lectured. He stole side glances to him in which I tried to show I was okay.

"These are orders directly from the Commander, sir."

"Hill knows?" I sat up.

"The whole damn organization will soon know if you all don't start treating this with discretion," growled Hank.

"How did _you_ know I was here?" I asked.

"You weren't answering your phone. I only had to do some meager investigating." He said gruffly. "I'm taking you with me, Maggie."

"Please, sir, she can't leave," Jemma protested. "Commander Hill expressly relayed to the chief of medical staff that she was to be under constant surveillance."

"She's done nothing wrong!"

"Her life could be at risk!" She was becoming as bold as Hank was now. "And quite frankly, I may be one of the only people who could understand what's going on."

"I'm sure you're a great doctor, kid, but this is above your paygrade. Maggie, let's go." Hank came over to help me up."

"Maggie, _stay._ "

I didn't make out the next few commands. My head was reeling and I suddenly felt heat spread all over my body like a rash. I couldn't decide, at first, if I was going to pass out, vomit, or both. My body chose for me. I leaned over the side of bed and just barely aimed into the tiny trash can. I felt the words of my company grow silent as I heaved, though I wished more than anything they wouldn't notice. When everything that was in me was out, I opened my eyes.

Blood. The trashcan had been splattered with red. Not enough to resemble a slasher film, but just enough to raise alarm.

"You see?" Jemma was saying, as if I'd proved her point. "She could have radiation poisoning. It's early for her to be experiencing normal morning sickness, and the blood…"

That lowered Hank's volume about ten decibels.

"You really think Banner's DNA could do that to her?" He asked.

"I'm fine," I coughed, sitting back up. "I'm fine, and I'm still here."

"Sorry," they said in unison.

"Can I…talk to Hank alone?" I asked quietly, wiping my mouth with a tissue. Jemma nodded and allowed us the room. I knew the first thing he was going to ask before the words touched his lips.

"Why didn't you come to me first?"

"I did," I reminded him.

"You know what I mean," He narrowed his eyes. "After…our plan didn't work."

"I don't know," I admitted. "I was afraid. Still am. I panicked."

"Maggie…"

"Nick told you I was here."

"Almost immediately," He said. "Say what you will about the boy's attitude, but he's certainly loyal."

"No one else has to know, right?" I choked out. "Maybe even Bruce never has to know."

"And yet he might be your best hope at getting through this. Say what you will about this young doctor you have on guard, but no one knows the Hulk like the Hulk."

The thought of telling Bruce myself made my stomach crumble. As much as I may have thought I knew him, I had no idea how he would react to the news.

"God," I leaned my head against my pillow to look up at the ceiling. "Is it really _that_ big a deal? Can't they just send me to a farm somewhere? Pretend none of this ever happened?"

Hank shifted slightly in his chair. In his eyes were the honest words he would never say to me for the sake of my comfort.

"How many times have I sat over you in a hospital bed like this?" He asked quietly.

"Too many."

"You're a magnet for trouble, yet you persist," He told me. "You're still alive, and you will make it through this. I promise."

"And the kid?" I asked. "What are they going to do with it?"

"Here's what I know," Hank stood up. "Hill has personally ordered you to be quarantined. But there's flexibility. You'll move into a room at Avenger's Mansion where they can keep a close watch on you, and so no one else will find out about the child in the months to come. Though now, I hate to admit it, you may be better off a little while longer here at the infirmary. When you're ready, you'll work remotely from the mansion. I'll have a cover story for your absence at the division. Then, once it is born, they'll proceed based on its… attributes."

"How can they stake claim on _my_ baby?" I felt my fury rise again quickly.

"SHIELD appoints itself the sole manager of all inhuman hazards."

"But—"

"Maggie," He spoke sharply all of a sudden. "Do you remember what I told you? Why you tried to get rid of it in the first place?"

I nodded slowly.

"It's better for a child like that be in the hands of SHIELD than in another's," His voice quavered ever so slightly, and I narrowed my eyes.

"And do you truly believe that, Hank?" I whispered, aware that our conversation was surely being monitored.

His mouth twitched like he was trying to smile but couldn't quite remember how.

"As long as that belief keeps you safe."

Hank reached into his pocket and pulled out my little grey phone.

"Call Banner," He ordered. "Tell him to return at once. Your protection will be of higher importance if he's involved in the matter."

He dropped it on my bed, and left without another word, as if we'd discussed nothing more than tomorrow's work agenda.

I held the phone in my palm until my fingers felt numb. Then, I searched for the number he'd called me from just the night before. It rang twice.

"Maggie?" Bruce warbled on the other line. He sounded exhausted. "What time is it there?"

"I'm sorry I woke you," I said at once.

"No, no. I wasn't asleep. What is it? What's wrong?"

"Bruce," I swallowed hard. "You need to come back."

"What?"

Tears flew freely down my cheeks, but I did not let them affect my voice. He couldn't know I was in pain.

"I need you to come home."


	23. ANNOUNEMENT-FIC UNDERGOING MAINTENANCE

**UPDATE FROM THE AUTHOR 4/28/19**

Hi all! I don't know if anyone is reading this, but if you are, then thanks! After seeing Endgame (no spoilers yet, don't worry), I've decided to rewrite parts from the last few chapters to remain canon in the MCU universe. Starting from Maggie's time jump to her job at SHIELD, things will be much different. Certain characters will no longer play a part, for instance, and we'll find out where Maggie was during the five years following Thanos' snap. Sorry for the maintenance, I'm hoping to be up and running and with a fresh chapter very soon!


	24. SHIELD (XII)- A Good Fight

The next few days, I was treated in roughly the same manner as a covert export. Smuggled delicately in the back of vans, to and from the mansion to pack my things. Discussed over coms using code words. Treated like an object rather than a patient.

When finally I found myself alone in a big room, after Dr. Simmons had bid me goodnight and the transport guards went on their merry way, I crumpled into a heap on the bed. In relief. They hadn't left me alone for a second. It was like I was in _The Handmaid's Tale_. My every movement monitored and analyzed because, god forbid, something should happen to me or the baby.

In their defense, they only let me be after I'd gone a full twelve hours without puking blood. My vitals were otherwise normal, and eventually they realized it was just another mystery piece to the mystery puzzle. I displayed symptoms of radiation sickness, but they were not getting any worse. Of course, there was nothing to decontaminate since the toxins were in another body.

I hadn't seen Hank since he left me in the infirmary. It was just my luck that he was headed back to Genosha the day after I was transferred to Avengers' Mansion. I hadn't heard from any of my co-workers, or Sonia. I was cut off from the rest of the world. I wondered if any of them had even tried to see me, but as days went by with no calls or texts I assumed my absence had been explained well enough. The real bitch was not working. Especially when I'd been so close to seeing my X-Corps division become a reality. Hank had reminded me, gently, that all of this was temporary. The pregnancy may well only last nine months, but there was no telling what the aftermath would bring and what roles my kid and I would play. For now, all there was to do was lay low and obey.

After some persuasion, my guards let me wander about the mansion. By guards, I meant the SHIELD medical assistants who'd been assigned to keep tabs on me. I had to check in with a nervous man with a receding hairline three times a day when Simmons wasn't there, and I was sure I was being recorded in my room. Still, they allowed me the decency to pretend I had some privacy.

It was surprisingly comforting not to be the only prisoner holed up in the mansion.

When Loki found out I was there, he gloated nonstop for my first few nights. Then, we fell into a satisfying rhythm of trying to keep one another sane.

One morning, we were lounging in one of the recreation lofts while he tried to have the same fight he'd started when I first arrived.

"Why _didn't_ you run away?" He asked.

"Fuck, I _told_ you," I rolled my eyes. "I don't know. I guess I got scared. That what you want to hear?"

"So you admit it," he seemed almost prideful. It was sickening, but it was the most honest interaction I'd had in a long time. "You do fear the Hulk."

" _No_ ," I said. "Jesus, why do you have such a grudge against him? He's saved your ass before, hasn't he?"

"I just want you to recognize your own hypocrisy," Loki teased. "You love a monster even though he's a monster, for all your righteousness. And now look what it's brought you."

"You can stop tormenting me, you know" I said. "I'm not your guard anymore. We're on equal footing. Sort of."

"Why 'sort of'?"

"I mean, I'm here for my own protection. And you're here for everyone else's."

" _Your_ protection?" He snickered. "Have you learned nothing, you ridiculous girl? You're no more to them than a breeder for a prized warrior. They want that child for their own army, morals be damned."

My friendly air dropped immediately.

"They wanted it destroyed."

"But it couldn't," Loki sneered. "That leaves them with one option, presumably one Commander Hill is secretly thrilled about. The opportunity to raise a Hulk from birth is one they would never refuse. They're biding their time now, lulling you into a false sense of security, but the instant that thing is born they will rip it from you before you have a chance to utter its name."

"S-stop talking," I clenched my fists.

"You can't tell me you didn't realize that."

"I said shut up!"

"Mind your temper," He chided, but he seemed amused by my outburst. "I may be the one friend you have in here."

"I'm okay with having no friends," I muttered, but I slumped down in the armchair next to him. "I've got people on my side."

"For how long?"

I narrowed my eyes, but before I could say another word, Loki stood up and went to peer over the edge of the railing in the common room that overlooked one of the grand foyers. I began to hear the voices which had caught his attention.

"More Avengers," He murmured to me, as I joined them. "Just what I needed."

"This is their mansion, dummy," I rolled my eyes. "There were bound to be some." I looked over and saw a small group forming by the main staircase, speaking in whispers. "Can you hear what they're saying?"

"My hearing may be supremely better than yours, but it's not _that_ good."

"Who's that woman standing next to Hawkeye?" I stared down at a tall, gorgeous person with short blonde hair. I could see colors underneath her coat that had to be a super suit.

"Carol Danvers," said Loki. "One of the new ones. I don't know much about her except that she has immense power. She's a golden child of SHIELD, one of Fury's favorites. Seems she's taken on many of his duties since he retired."

"Where's she been this whole time?"

"I have no idea," He shook his head. "No one down there is entirely fond of me, though, so if you don't' mind—"

"Loki." All the heads beneath us had turned upwards. Carol Danvers had stated his name loudly with a smirk, and already I liked her. "You'd better not be here."

Carol began to glow, and in a miraculous spectacle, she flew up the stairs to meet us, leaving her companions behind.

"I'm not," Loki growled, once she was on the same level. "Look." He projected his arm through my head to prove he was only in his astral form.

"Good. I understand Lang is more lenient with you wandering free, but while Clint and I are here I expect you to remember your place," She said smugly.

"My _place_?"

"Danvers!" A voice called from the stairs. "Stop torturing the god, and come back down."

She looked to me, suddenly.

"Another houseguest?" She questioned.

"Um…" I started.

"Oh. Right," Carol shook her head awkwardly. "I was briefed on your arrival. Is it Mallory?"

"Maggie."

"Got it. Good. Welcome. Keep yourselves out of trouble, but anything in the fridge is fair game." And with that, she dove back over the banister to rejoin her fellow heroes. Loki was not impressed with her showing off, but I was too marveled to care.

"So…everyone knows about me," I whispered to Loki. "Everyone."

"No," He said promptly. I was taken aback, and when he saw my confusion he continued. "The only people in this house who know the real reason you're here are myself, because you told me, and your visiting doctors. Everyone else believes the story that you're being quarantined following a minor incident with toxic waste on Avenger's property." My mouth dropped and he shrugged. "I heard people talking. I'm surprised you didn't know."

"How long can they cover it up, though?" I wondered.

"Not much longer, I predict. Soon word will spread, and I have no doubt there will be trouble keeping you safe."

"Something to look forward to then," I said. "A good fight."

"Speaking of," Loki had begun shuffling a deck of old cards. "How about another round?" I gave him a sideways smile.

"You're on."

* * *

It was the middle of the night when Banner arrived on the scene. I was trying to sleep, as I had been for hours, but even through the soundproof walls I could tell something was up. I opened the bedroom door just as a hand was about to knock. It was an agent I didn't recognize, but he looked at me like I was something gross he found on the bottom of his shoe.

"You have a visitor," He said quietly, then turned on his heel. "Follow me."

Follow him I did, silently down to the foyer until I could make out hushed and urgent voices. As we descended the stairs I could begin to hear the conversation.

"Bruce, Doom has no jurisdiction over here. He sets foot on American soil, and Hill will hit him with everything we got," it was the voice of Colonel Rhodes.

"It was her idea to strike up an alliance," Bruce's voice was tired but still make my pulse elevate. "I'm only saying she needs to hear him out."

"You know we can't take that risk. He trusts you, now—"

"I did everything she asked of me," cut in Bruce. "I'm done. She's not my commander, I don't take orders from her. She wants to provoke the big bad over in Latveria, she can do it without my help."

"They have your technology. If they find a way to use it against us, repay us for stealing their resource, we're screwed," Rhodes said.

"I never weaponized it."

"You gave them the means to control it."

"Under your orders, Rhodey!"

Rhodes shook his head.

"This isn't something you can just drop, Bruce. There's no spaceship for you to fly away on this time."

"I—"

"But, I think we should drop it for tonight because the reason you came back is coming towards us."

Bruce's head whipped around as I approached. He looked at me like I was a ghost. The agent stood stiffly at my side.

"Maggie." Was all he could say. I tried to smile but it quickly turned into a tremble. He came toward me, cupping my face in his hands and studying every inch of me. In a relieved sigh, he pulled me into an embrace.

"I'm glad you're up and about, Addams," Rhodes said, as though he had seen me when I was down and out. "Feeling better?" It seemed like Hill hadn't told him the truth about my mysterious illness. One less person who knew. I responded with only a nod.

The Colonel bid us goodnight, and dismissed the agent. All in a blissful instant, Bruce and I were alone in the vast hallway.

"You're okay," he murmured in disbelief. "When you called…you were so vague. No one would tell me what was wrong. They said you were sick."

"You came back," I stated the obvious numbly, mostly because I couldn't quite believe it yet.

"Of course I did," he let out a breath laugh. "Are you kidding? Of course."

I pressed my forehead to his, hard.

"What happened?" I asked, hoping I could steer the direction away from me. "In Latveria?"

He wasn't so easily distracted.

"That's not important," he said.

"It sounded important."

"Maggie," He whispered. "What is it? Are you—is it serious? Are you…dying?"

"I'm not sure," I said truthfully.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He said, his anguish beginning to rise. I kept my hand on his cheek to steady him.

"Shh. It's alright. I'm alright. Look at me."

"Do you have to torture me?" Bruce asked earnestly. "Just tell me."

And because he deserved to know, I told him.

"I'm not sick," I murmured after a deep breath. He cocked his head to one side. "It's actually…I mean, in many cases, one would consider it a blessing. A good thing."

"You lost me."

I bit my lip and tried not to look away from him. Instead I took both his hands and placed them on my waist, pulling him closer to me.

"Bruce." I bore into him, trying to say everything without saying anything. He froze when it clicked. I was grateful I didn't have to say anymore.

"No," he mouthed.

I swallowed and nodded.

"No," he said again, louder, dropping his hand from me like I had burned him.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

"You're not saying what I think you're saying," He kept looking at me as though I was about to admit I was telling a very bad joke. "Because that's impossible."

"I know."

Bruce looked around, suddenly aware that perhaps we weren't as alone as we needed to be. He took my hand, too forcefully, and pulled me behind a pillar out of sight from the main hallway.

"You…they think you're pregnant?" I could see his brain whirring, trying to calculate all the possible ways this could've happened.

"I know I am," I kept looking down at the floor.

He was silent for a moment.

"It can't be mine," He said numbly.

"It is."

"You're trying to tell me that you're carrying a mass of gamma-infused DNA? And your body is _handling_ it?"

"Not well," I muttered. "The doctor said I'm showing signs of radiation sickness."

"Jesus—"

"Bruce, we don't know how bad this is."

"That's why you asked me if I was indestructible, isn't it?" He said blankly. "Because you couldn't…it couldn't be aborted. Am I right?"

"…Yeah."

"And you didn't tell me? Not a damn thing?" I hadn't even considered that it would hurt him to keep him far away from my mess.

"I didn't want to burden you," I said quietly. "It's my fault."

"Neither of us were exactly careful that night."

"Because it didn't even occur to me—"

"Nor me."

We stood without touching for a good long moment, just breathing in the others' anxiety. Finally, he took both my hands in his. Gently, delicately.

"I don't know what to do," He said with such tenderness and sadness that I felt tears well up at the corners of my eyes. But he could not see me cry. Not now.

"That's okay," I lied.

"How many people know?" Bruce asked.

"Not many. The Commander. McCoy. The SHIELD medical team assigned to me."

"Already too many."

"So let's get out of here."

He took a step back.

"Where? Where could we go where they couldn't find us?"

I shrugged slightly.

"Maybe we just need to buy time."

"Until what? This thing kills you? I don't even know what we've created, here. You need to be where we can keep you safe."

"And you think that's _here_? The organization that could barely filter out the Nazis hiding among them?"

"I'm not saying I suddenly trust SHIELD," He said flatly. "But it's where we _both_ need to be."

I tried not to let my anger show.

"What happened to the master of running away?" I said. "Isn't that all you ever do?"

He pressed his lips together.

"I got tired."

"And what if they betray you? Or me?" I persisted.

"Then, I'll wake up," Bruce tucked a lock of hair behind my ear, and gazed at me with eyes I hadn't seen since that night on the beach.

I looked at him, desperate to focus on something that wasn't the looming danger inside of me.

"Whatever peace you think you can keep between Doctor Doom and Commander Hill, you're wrong," I began. "It's not your fight, it's not—"

"It's never my fight," He interrupted. "But I'm in the crossfire, now."

"Tell me—"

"Not now. We've got enough to worry about besides politics."

I almost laughed.

"It's all politics."

"Maggie," Bruce said seriously. "This baby…" He couldn't finish the thought. I couldn't even tell what he was going to say.

"I know," I said, anyway. "We're fucked."

And I held him as tightly as I could until he returned the strength.


	25. SHIELD (XIII)- Healthy

He slept by my side that night, though I suspect neither of us got the rest we needed. He didn't touch me, or hold me. He kept his distance, being there because I needed him, but afraid to return to the intimacy we'd once shared. When finally I opened my eyes for good as the sun stretched under the gray curtains, he was already up and dressed, puttering about my room with his glasses on and a tablet in his hands.

I inhaled loudly and sat up so he would have to look at me. Bruce stopped mid-pace and his dark eyes fell to my sleep-encrusted ones. I hadn't found my voice yet, so I just stared and he stared right back, as though deliberating about making the first move.

It wasn't what I expected. He gently laid the tablet down on the dresser, removed his glasses, and walked over to the bed. A look crossed his face that I'd never seen before, one that came with him placing both hands on the sides of my face and burying me in a deep kiss. Confidence. That was that look. Bruce was trying a new view, staying well-assured so I wouldn't have to. It seemed foreign on him. I leaned in gratefully to his kiss, and when he pulled back he remained inches from my lips.

"How are you feeling?" He asked sincerely.

"Like I should've brushed my teeth before I let you kiss me," I smiled.

"I mean it," he whispered. "I need to know."

"My doctor should be here soon. She'll give you the full update. Come lay back down."

But he didn't. Instead, Bruce pulled away and moved back towards the other side of the room.

"I don't know how you can be so cavalier about the whole thing," He muttered, setting himself back down with his tablet in an armchair.

"Someone's got to."

"This could kill you," He reminded me.

"A lot of things could." I saw him about to get worked up again so I hastened a better reply. "We don't know enough yet."

"We know it's not a normal pregnancy. Beyond that, there are a plethora of potentially disastrous outcomes."

"And some good ones."

"Such as?"

"We have a kid. One who's healthy. Safe, even. Loved," I drew my legs up to my chin. "That would be good…right?" I didn't look at him, scared of finding the answer. What I'd been most worried about was how he'd react to the idea of having a child with _me_. It was sudden, unexpected, and though I wouldn't blame him for being repelled by the situation, I wondered how we would fare if we were both…well, normal. I didn't think I'd get a second chance. Part of me couldn't help but imagine finally being able to hold my own child in my arms.

He took his time in responding. I couldn't tell if he was thinking about it, or just unsure of how to voice his feelings.

"This was never on the table for me," He said quietly. "Even now, it's not—I can't think about it like that. I can't think about it as Bruce Banner, because of _course_ …of course it's something I wanted at one time. A baby. A family. I would've killed for that. But, I am who I am."

It wasn't the answer I wanted.

"So, what now?" I said stiffly. "You came back because I asked you to. Do you plan on staying?"

"As long as you want me," He said at once, then hesitated. "As long as it takes to see this through. I'm not going to let you suffer for my mistakes."

"It's not all about you, big guy. Let me take credit for those mistakes."

"That's not in my nature," and he smiled genuinely for the first time all morning. It propelled me to my feet, and I walked over to wrap my arms around him. When I began to kiss him, I felt his hands press on my bare shoulder blades and I was drawn in again by the comfort of his warmth. I could feel his heartrate elevate right alongside mine, and despite our conversation confirming how very tenuous our relationship was, in that moment there was only me and him. We'd already gone too far once before. With that wall broken, I hoped he would forget himself. There was a fierceness I hadn't known in him, breaking through as he pulled tighter on me. He'd missed me, after all.

We were interrupted by a vibration from the tablet on the dresser. Bruce snatched it up before I could even sneak a glance.

"From the director herself," He shook his head. "Requesting my presence at headquarters this afternoon."

"You're not even back for twelve hours, and Hill's already tracking you down?" I frowned, flopping back down on the bed.

"Did you expect anything different?"

"I guess I was just hoping I'd have you to myself for a little longer."

He stood very still for a moment before sitting beside me.

"Latverian engineers are already streamlining my designs for Primagen distribution. I'm sure it's what Hill wanted, but whether to declare it an act of war or to share in the bounty, I don't know."

"But she won't confer with Doom directly?" I asked.

"Tensions between the two nations are still high. I think my work over there was a peace offering, but whether or not it'll take remains to be seen. Doom has no reason to trust her, especially since she's refused to speak with him. I'm an inadvertent middleman."

"Bruce," I slid my hand over his. "It's not your fight," I reminded him like a mantra.

"It's just not that simple," He replied, shaking his head. "There's so much you don't understand."

If it weren't for the knock at the door, I would have been entirely riled up. Even as it was, the conversation felt far from over. Bruce motioned for me to stay seated while he went to investigate the visitor, but I already knew it would be Jemma, punctual as ever.

"Oh!" I heard her small voice ring out. "Dr. Banner. I wasn't expecting you back so soon."

"Who are you?" Bruce asked warily.

"Dr. Simmons. I've, er, been looking after Maggie."

"And what makes you qualified to do that?"

I shot up from the bed.

"Bruce!" I scolded. "Sorry, doctor. He's jetlagged Come in."

Bruce moved out of the way, but not without looking Simmons over with an appraising glare. I knew he was still sore about not being told sooner, and most probably the fact that I didn't ask for his medical consultation first. The man had seven , but I already trusted Simmons with my life.

She came in without a second glance at Banner, and removed her sleek holographic laptop device from her satchel. Up in the air sprang my medical history, EKG charts and blood pressure numbers abound. As she began scrolling, she smoothly attached a heart monitor to my index finger. This was routine for me, but Bruce was watching us as if we were engaging in some strange ritual.

"How are we feeling today, Maggie?" Simmons asked, trying not to be too distracted by my readings.

"Um—"

"Shouldn't this be done in a sick bay?" Bruce cut in. "A lab with the proper equipment, better technology?"

"This is just her daily check-in," the doctor explained. "She's scheduled for a full body scan and in-depth exams twice weekly, unless anything changes."

"And _has_ anything changed?" pushed Bruce. "She's at least a few months along, now, right? Have there been spikes in-"

 **"** Any radiation that may have been causing her illness has since been centralized to the fetus, from what we can tell. She's not showing signs of poisoning anymore, and she's actually been steadily growing healthier."

I looked at Bruce. "See? I'm fine." He ignored me.

"But you haven't been able to get a DNA sample of the fetus, let alone a clear image," Bruce was reading over Simmons' shoulder now, something I could tell irked her, but she remained patient.

"We're hopeful that it will be easier in the second trimester," She explained.

"It could already be heavily mutated at this point, and your advice is to just wait and see what happens?"

" _I'm_ heavily mutated," I said.

"It's different," Bruce insisted.

"Is it?"

He looked at me, trying to filter the panic out of his eyes.

"I…I don't know. I only know what gamma radiation can do to a human system, but I honestly have no idea how it would interact with your genetic structure."

"That's why we're looking into it," Jemma said haughtily, and I tried not to smirk. "Her body has adapted rapidly. She's not ill-equipped to handle this." That shut Bruce up during her examination, but I saw him steal frantic glances at us from the other side of the room.

When Jemma was preparing to leave, he intervened once more.

"I'd like to look over her lab results and history," He said, clearly fighting the urge to pull Simmons' computer from her grasp. She narrowed her eyes and looked at me.

"Those are strictly confidential," She replied. "If Maggie consents to sharing those documents, that's another story."

"Yes," I said in a small voice. "Give him whatever information he needs."

"I'll send over a release form, then," Jemma said stiffly. She did not approve of involving Bruce, and while initially I might have chalked it up to a bad first impression, I got the sense that there was more she was fearful of. Did she not trust the father of the child to be discreet? If anyone was good at secrets, it was Banner. But the way she looked at him…

"She looks young," Bruce commented the moment she'd shut the door behind her.

"You look old," I shot back. He folded his arms across his chest and pressed his back against the wall, a warning sign that he was working to control himself. I immediately softened my expression.

"I should have been the first and only one you told, Maggie," He said seriously. "I mean, what were you thinking, keeping this from _me_ of all people?" When I understood he expected an answer I shifted back to my feet and approached him.

"I was scared," I admitted, resting a hand on his arm.

"That's exactly why you should've called, the minute you suspected—"

"Of telling you," I cut in. "I was sacred to tell you."

He looked hurt for an instant, but managed to brush it off.

"Why?" Bruce asked.

"I…" It took me a moment to put the feeling into words. "I didn't want you to feel indebted to me."

"…What?"

"Because you're a good guy. I knew what would happen if I told you—you'd come running back, even if you didn't want to. You'd try to fix things. You'd feel guilty."

"And what's wrong with that?"

"I uprooted your life once already, in Havana. I'd hate to do that again."

I was surprised when he almost laughed.

"What life?" He smirked. "I was cowering in a fish lab. You knocked me out of my stupor."

"I made you. That night…it was my fault." I swallowed and looked at the floor. "For so many reasons. I pushed for it, and then I didn't think. I didn't think there was any chance whatsoever of— _this_."

"I know, I _know_ ," Bruce tried to console. "But that was _my_ fault. My lack of understanding about myself and—"

"I meant for me," I interrupted quietly. "I didn't think I could get pregnant. Again."

His few seconds of silence felt like an hour, during which my heart slowly sank to the floor of my stomach as I fought desperately against the memories of Jamie and the last time I had felt life inside of me. He took it in, and I could tell in that moment he was trying to imagine me as a mother. The way he looked at me with both pitying, disbelieving, and admiring eyes.

"When?" was all he asked.

"Years ago. I lost her—it," I shook my head like it had been nothing. "Maybe I'll lose this one. That would solve our problems." I hadn't meant to hurt him, but the words seemed to cut like a knife.

"Maggie," He whispered, wrapping his fingers around each of my arms like he was afraid I would run away. "You don't have to talk like that for my sake." Even with his mind in twelve different places at once, he still had the power to see through me at all the right times.

"You shouldn't feel responsible for another monster," I said weakly.

"So, you _do_ think it's going to be a monster."

"No, Bruce, I didn't say that."

"I'm not offended," He smiled sadly. "I know what's in this baby's DNA. And that's exactly why you need to trust me."

"I do trust you," I said. "But I also trust Dr. Simmons."

"And what has she been telling you?"

"That, for the time being…I shouldn't worry."

"A bold statement."

"Just try to play along for me." I leaned into his chest, but before he could fully embrace me another buzz disrupted the moment.

"I've got to get over there," He said softly.

"I'll be here," I rolled back onto the bed and curled into an annoyed ball.

"Hey," Bruce nudged me earnestly. "Once we figure out more about…this...you won't have to stay cooped up here. It's only temporary."

I'd heard those words before. They didn't bring me solace before, and they wouldn't now, but I forced a smile as he exited.

As if on cue, my phone began to ring the instant he was out the door. I glanced over at the caller ID and my heart leapt. I picked it up on the second ring.

"Sonia?" I asked in disbelief.

"Maggie!" The sound of her voice on the other line sent a wave of relief through me. I hadn't been forgotten. "Oh my god. Are you okay? I mean, where are you? What the fuck?"

"You haven't called," I said. "Not in a week. You didn't wonder sooner?"

"Are you kidding me?" She was almost yelling. "Maggie, you don't know? Everyone in the office was ordered not to contact you. Hank said you were on some top secret operation and to reach out to your cell would jeopardize you. You seriously think I wouldn't be worried when one day you didn't come home from work? Jesus, I've been freaking out!"

"He said that?" Hank really had tried to cover all my bases. "But, then why call now?"

"That's the thing," She said, her tone dropping into discomfort. "Nick took me aside today. He told me something… I had to call to see if it was true."

So it hadn't taken Nick very long to keep his mouth shut. I did debate about keeping up the lie. But Sonia didn't deserve that.

"Yeah," I admitted. "Whatever he told you. It's all true. I've been underground, in intensive care. And I'm doing better."

"When will you come back?"

"When they deem me fit to work."

"What, you don't get a full-on maternity leave?"

"If I can help it."

"God."

"Don't worry about me," I said in earnest. "Please. That's all you can do. And I promise I'll be back in the office soon."

I heard her crackling sigh in the receiver.

"Didn't I tell you?" Her tone was aggravatingly condescending. "You can't get close to guys like Banner. The supers with no control. They'll fuck up your life."

"Well," I chewed on the inside of my cheek. "Good thing my life was already pretty fucked up."

"Maggie—"

"I gotta go. Talk soon." And I hung up without another word.

I hadn't realized how fast my heartrate had sped up, but however well she meant, the damage was already done. She knew. Nick told her. How many more people would find out?

I knew it wouldn't be something to easily hide in the coming months. But I had hoped for enough time to plan a backstory. A one-night-stand gone awry. A hook-up before Bruce even came into the picture. But there was no denying our relationship, and once it became public knowledge that I was pregnant, it wouldn't take a genius to tie him to the child.

When at last he returned that night, I hadn't left my room. He came in, exhausted, and like a good little housewife I lay beside him and asked him how his day was.

"There's going to be a summit, next month, at headquarters," He was telling me. "Doom will be in attendance. And from now until then, I've been charged with the very unpleasant task of rendering models for Primagen distribution."

"Unpleasant how?" I asked, smoothing his forehead. "That's what you've been doing."

"I know they're going to weaponize whatever I come up with," He murmured. "They'll tell me what I want to hear, now, and turn on me later."

"So say no. Tell them you won't do it."

He looked up at me.

"You don't get it, do you?" Bruce sat up. "The only reason I'm not behind bars right now is because I've agreed to comply. I'm not on the accords. I've broken the law countless times. I'm a threat. And now, with the baby…Hill's got that to lord over me."

"What can she do? It's not illegal to have a baby."

"If they name it a potential biohazard, they have the jurisdiction to intervene."

"Without proper cause?"

"It's a child of the Hulk, what 'proper cause' do you think they're going to be looking for? I don't have the same rights as everyone else. I barely get away with existing at all."

"You could take them. If it came down to it." I meant it as a joke, but he wasn't in a humorous mood.

"I'm not going to _take on_ anyone. I just want to keep my life, and yours, as simple as possible. Is that too much to ask?"

"Yes."

He smiled that time and pressed his lips to my hand.

"We'll get through this," He said, even though I believed it more than he did.


	26. SHIELD (XV)- Green

The fact that reasonably sane humans continuously make the choice to raise children in New York City has always baffled me. As a rube, I would tense up as babies wailed on subway cars, or toddlers toddled towards busy taxi-laden streets with their parents just barely keeping pace. I used to judge people who put their kids on leashes, now I'm scared if I see a tot unchained. Not that I ever thought I would spawn, but if I did it'd have to be in Nowheresville suburbia. Circumstances change, I guess.

It took me another week of bedrest and chill before I was given the green light to return to work. Part-time. SHIELD was doing everything they could to keep me far from headquarters, so I was pencil pushing remotely from Avenger's Mansion. I would glumly tap away at my laptop in Bruce's lab while he bustled about doing important-looking work. He was anxious as ever, his mind sporadically flipping from fearing Doctor Doom, to worrying about me. He would pour over blueprints, then take my blood pressure in the span of a few seconds. So became our routine.

One morning, I'd gotten to his lab before him. A rare instance. I'd already sent about ten emails before he sidled in.

"Hey," I said, which he acknowledged with a jerk of his head. "So, they've agreed to host the fundraiser for the new X-Corps at the Baxter Building next week. I still need Stark Industries to sign off as a sponsor, you wouldn't happen to have the email of their event coordinator, would you?"

"Ah, no," He said, rummaging through a desk drawer with no intention of finding anything. "That's great, though…"

"I've asked Hank for it like five times, but he's been over in LA so he's ghosting me," I replied, though I was really just talking to myself at that point.

"Mhm."

I shut my lap top and stood up. That seemed to get his attention. Bruce looked at me like he was just realizing I was in the room with him.

"What?" I asked.

"What do you mean?" He feigned innocence.

"Something's up. You're doing that nervous, space case thing."

"I'm always nervous."

"You're stalling."

He began wringing his hands together before he answered me.

"Director Hill called me in tonight to prepare for the summit."

"Okay…and that's weird because?"

"She wants you there, too."

I was taken aback, and couldn't hide my confused frown.

"Oh. But…why?" I asked. "I've got nothing to do with your little Latveria convention."

"I was under the impression that she wanted to question us together about our future."

"Like…where do we see ourselves in five years?" I stabbed at a joke.

"Like what we plan to do about the baby," He said wryly.

"That sounds like an extremely unappealing meeting."

"Something seems off about it. Why hasn't she wanted to see you sooner?" Bruce began wondering to himself.

"It's not exactly a code red," I smirked. "She doesn't seem like the type to do well with personal matters."

"Still…it's not nothing."

I gently squeezed his arm and rested my chin on his shoulder.

"Want to get lunch?" I asked out of the blue.

"…Don't you want to talk about this?" He backed away, flustered. "About what we're going to say?"

"Not really."

I'd been doing everything I could to talk as little about the baby as possible. But it was like our world suddenly revolved around someone that didn't even exist, and that terrified me. My response to crisis was to act like nothing had changed, and his was to problem-solve. I thought it was a fair balance, but perhaps one of us would eventually have to compromise…

He sighed for an excruciatingly long time.

"You're impossible," Bruce gave a frustrated smile. "This isn't something that's just going to go away."

"What do you want me to say? I don't _know_ what to do. Why can't that just be enough for now?" I sat back in my chair like the conversation was over.

"Because we need to be prepared for the worst. As many 'worsts' as we can prepare for."

"Great, you're the superhero, why don't you come up with a plan you can tell the damn director?" My eyes flicked back to my computer, but I wasn't taking in any of the information. When he didn't respond, I grew tense. "Don't you understand?" I went on. "I don't _want_ her intervening! I don't want this to be about anyone else besides you and me."

He turned his back on me and pretended to be interested in a metal pen lying on the table. He was terrible with confrontation, but that didn't mean he was defenseless.

"Well, maybe you should've thought of that before you had unprotected sex with a giant green savage," He muttered. I couldn't tell if it was a joke, or if he truly blamed me. Either way, fury surged.

"I didn't," I replied stiffly. His eyes darted back to mine. For a moment, I saw pain there, and even pity. Pity for me, that perhaps I was too naïve to see that Bruce Banner was the monster after all. I would never buy that.

His gaze strayed to a picture mounted on the wall. I came up behind him and forced his chin towards me so I could kiss him.

"For the record, you could've been a villain," I said, softer this time. "But you're not. You're an Avenger. I think if the Hulk had fallen to the responsibility of anyone else, that wouldn't be the case."

"So, you think I was the best guy for the job?" He said, keeping his eyes on the blurry photo. "I've got news for you—the Hulk wouldn't exist if it weren't for my rookie mistakes. My hubris. My selfish need to prove myself. Don't act like you're the first person to try and defend my soul, Maggie, I've heard it all before."

I realized before the image came into view what the picture was of. His team. A little polaroid from who-knew-when of Tony Stark, Hawkeye, Black Widow, Captain America, and him, all seated around a little table looking up from their take-out dinner and smiling. I'd seen it before. It looked like mind-blowingly normal scene, despite whom it framed. But I couldn't deny they looked like a family.

I stared with him. My eyes kept dropping to Stark. I never forgot the day he came to visit at the X-Mansion. When the last and only words I'd said to him were heated and petty.

"Every one of you," I said, lacing my fingers between Bruce's. "Became what you were because of choices you made."

"Powerful. Destructive," He murmured.

"No, stupid. Heroes."

"You don't get it. You were born with your inhuman qualities. You didn't choose to be this way." He paused as he realized something. "And yet…"

"Mutants are feared and you guys are celebrated?" I finished the thought. He nodded and pressed his lips to the top of my head. "Yeah. Doesn't that make more sense, though? Think about it. I could have swung either way. I still can. I'm unpredictable, because I came into the world this way without asking. Captain fucking America was _chosen_ for that super soldier serum because everyone knew he was a good guy. People like me, we had the powers thrust on us without the responsibility."

"You can spare me the 'Everyone hates me more than you' spiel," Bruce smirked.

"Just trying to help."

"I don't need help. I need a miracle to get me through tonight."

I tried to smile, but it turned into clenched teeth as a wave of pain shook me for an instant. I turned away and cleared my throat like nothing had happened, but the scientist was too quick for that. His hands were spinning me back towards him before I could breathe.

"Are you alright?" He asked, holding me still so I couldn't escape.

"I'm fine," I said, surprised. "Just a cramp. Those happen. Stop acting like I could collapse at any moment."

He removed his hands from my waist and rubbed his face with them.

"Okay. Okay. Let's just…go have lunch."

When the time came to meet with Hill, a black SUV pulled up in front of the mansion like we were about to be dragged off by the mafia.

Nothing about HQ had changed since the last time I'd seen it. Not even Maria Hill's grand office with a 180 degree view of the city, on fire in the sunset.

"The director will be with you in a minute," The meek secretary said as he shut the door behind him, locking us alone in Hill's lair.

Neither of us sat down on the waiting leather couches. A sense of dread was only beginning to encroach my mind when Bruce stated the obvious.

"Something's wrong."

"She's running late. I doubt I'm a top priority," I tried to assure him.

"We're unsupervised. No guards. No agents outside, except her page. This isn't good." And I knew he was right, even before the doors opened and in filed a parade of unexpected guests.

A platoon of soldiers in metal armor lined the walls of the office, with Director Hill following in suit. I knew at once they were not SHIELD, but Hill looked unfazed. One look at their foreign guns, though, and I was frozen in place.

"Apologies for the wait, Doctor Banner," She moved right past us and straight to her black desk in the dead center of the room.

"Are you anticipating danger, Director?" Bruce asked shakily, scanning the circling watchmen. "I was under the impression this was an informal meeting."

"They're not my men. Merely guests under our roof," She replied, throwing projections into the air with blueprints I recognized as Bruce's designs.

"Whose-?"

"They're here with Doom." A metallic booming voice filled the room, and my head snapped around to face the cloaked and masked man that could only be Doctor Doom. I hadn't even seen him enter. He was standing by the door, unobtrusive but commanding.

"I believe you've been acquainted with Victor, Bruce?" Hill said. Doom strutted forward with an outstretched hand, which Bruce shook slowly, and confused.

"Briefly. Once. Good…good to see you again."

"He's modest. Doom was most impressed with your work in Latveria. He only wishes you had stayed longer," Doom said. The third person dialect was jarring, but suited the regal character.

"What is this about?" Bruce asked, stepping closer to me as though prepared to protect. Hill still would not make direct eye contact with him.

"We wanted to meet before the summit," She said. "The road to reconciliation between our governments is turning out to be a lot smoother than we'd expected, and that is due in large part to your technological discoveries."

She began pacing about the splattered images of Primagen analyses and devices. I could tell she was uncomfortable, but trying not to form any emotion behind her words of business.

"In our agreeance to lift the trade embargo with Latveria, some terms and conditions must be met. Albeit unusual, one of those is in relation to you. Doom has requested your permanent transfer to continue your Primagen research and engineering in the homeland. You would be making equipment for both American and Latverian enterprises. We supply the funds, and they supply the resource. It's an alliance where everyone wins."

"'Equipment'," Bruce scoffed. "I'm guessing you don't mean rakes and lawn mowers."

"Doctor, Primagen is a highly volatile element. You discovered a way to control it, and that's all we're asking you to continue doing."

"Except I don't work for you," Bruce said shortly. "I helped you. As a favor to SHIELD. I'm not about to be privy to your warfare, and I'm certainly not going to aid in the construction of weapons. I'll present my designs at the summit, as asked. I'll hand over the blueprints, as asked. Beyond that, I'm done. That was what we agreed on."

"Doom feared you might say no," said Doom. "But his conditions remain the same, to be taken or left." He said the last bit to Hill, over Bruce's head. I thought I saw her nod slightly. Then, her eyes turned to me, at last.

"Ms. Addams," She said quietly. "You're probably wondering why I invited you here."

"The question crossed my mind, yeah," I replied. I could feel everyone in the room tense up, and I began to see what Bruce, thankfully, could not quite yet. He was glancing between me and the director, confused and scared.

"I have a proposal for the both of you," She walked around the other side of her desk and gestured at the sleep couch. "Please. Sit."

"I'd rather stand, thanks," Bruce said haughtily. Hill tensed, but sat herself in her big desk chair.

"Banner, it's no secret that we've let a lot slide with you over recent years," She began. "We're not asking a lot. We even want Maggie to join you."

"Why?" I asked at once. She looked surprised.

"You two could live in comfort. Away from prying eyes. And keep your little secret miles from any forces that may want to intervene. This transfer would kill two birds with one stone, so to speak. Doom gets what he wants, and you two get what you want."

I looked back at Doom, anxiously. It hit me that he must have already known about me before he walked into the room. I looked at Bruce, who appeared to be contemplating.

"And what do you get, exactly?" I glared at Hill, with her indecipherable eyes.

"The promise of alliance, exceptional ammunition, and the guarantee that you'll both be safe."

"Safe," I repeated. "I'm sorry if I find that hard to believe."

"This woman has always had a knack for skirting around the issue," boomed the metal voice from behind me. "But Doom is honest. Doom has nothing to hide." He clanked in front of us, his beady eyes poking from the slits in his mask. "The deal he has made clear is an army for an army."

I didn't understand at first, as he stared between me and Bruce, but Bruce practically leapt towards Doom as his anger peaked. The instant he did, every single gun was raised and pointed to the center of the room, cocked. He doubled back and put his hands up, taking deep breaths.

"Put those down," Hill muttered, but the armored men didn't listen. They didn't take orders from her, and Doom was still deciding. He was unfazed by Bruce, and took two steps closer to him.

"Doom knows you are unstable," Doom said. "He can help with that. He wants the Hulk and the Hulk's child in his ranks, and he's sure you would agree they are better suited under Latverian rule than at the mercy of SHIELD."

"Order your men to stand down," said Hill, louder. "Now." She was ignored.

"Are you not curious, Doctor, to see your hard work in action?" Doom said, pointing to the pointed guns. "Primagen powered ray blasts. Strong. Deadly. Doom recognizes your model resembles that of your friend Iron Man's, hm?" He suddenly snapped his fingers. Two of the guards grabbed hold of a third, taken by surprise, and threw him to the ground, disarming him in the process. "Doom may have taken it upon himself to modify."

"Victor!" Hill stood up. "This is not what was agreed upon." She looked down at the struggling man. Doom picked up his ray gun.

"A demonstration was sure to be necessary, commander. This is a man of my own who betrayed me. I've saved him for you."

"Non!" The man cried on the floor. "Please, sir, I didn't…"

"Watch closely at the power this small device holds," Doom stroked the gun and pointed it right at the man's forehead.

"NO!" I shouted just as the sound of the blast filled the room, and power surged through me as the Primagen surged out of the gun.

Everything happened too quickly for my vapid mind to keep up. I felt my field erupt out of me, shooting between Doom and the man on the floor. I saw the blast hit my electromagnetic wave and ricochet in the opposite direction, landing on an entirely new victim.

Bruce let out a painful yell as he was knocked backwards. Everything was deathly still for far too long as he writhed on the ground. I dropped down beside him, fully aware that everyone else inside the room was already trying to get as far from him as they could.

"Bruce," I whispered, trying to hold him steady. "Bruce, it's okay. You're okay. Look at me." My hands were shaking but I tried desperately to place them on either side of his head. This was it. The moment of truth. If I could calm him, keep him there with me, maybe I was stronger than I thought. I felt his mind like a horde of angry bees, too violent to console.

"Maggie," I thought I heard Hill call from behind me. "Get back girl, it's too late for that."

"Bruce," I said again. "Please." His eyes met mine. Streaks of green were already seeping through his pulsing veins. For a moment, I thought it had worked. I pulled him to a seated position while he continued to contort and hyperventilate, but his eyes remained brown and the ones I knew. "Hey," I said, cupping his face in my hands. But that's when the second blast went off. Straight into his back from a scared soldier of Doom's. And it was all over.

Everything erupted in a blur of green, and the last thing I saw before I was knocked unconscious against the wall was the Hulk's wrathful snarl.


	27. Alone Again

Ambush. There was no other explanation for what had happened. Doom got what he wanted by unleashing the Hulk, and Hill was either powerless to prevent his actions or somehow privy to the plan. It was no accident. It wasn't Bruce's fault in the slightest. I needed to scream this to anyone who would listen from the moment I woke up in yet another hospital bed under yet another concerned face, hours and hours later. I lay atop the sheets, my clothes feeling hot and sweaty, dried blood pinning my right sleeve against my arm.

I bolted upright, and Jemma didn't even stop me. Tenderly, I traced my dizziness up to a fresh bruise on my head. A minor injury compared to what could've been. It was a miracle I didn't have brain damage after the number of times I was rendered unconscious.

I once asked Hank what he thought about me passing out all the time in the event of physical turmoil. Was it weakness? He suggested my body had a tendency to shut down in order to protect itself. To begin healing at the first sign of danger. I recalled being asleep for far too long after being shot, after falling down the sewer grate, and now…

I couldn't keep going out of commission like that. Bruce had needed me, and I'd been benched before the fight even began.

I breathed heavily as I took it all in, the nightmare I knew had not been a dream. Jemma watched, staying silent, much to my alarm. Finally, I found my voice.

"Where is he?" I whispered.

"Maggie," She said gently. "You should—"

"Don't say 'rest'. I've rested for long enough. Where is he?"

"Safe. That's all you need to know."

I threw my legs over the side of the cot and stood up.

"No," I said, exasperated. "It's absolutely _not_ all I need to know. What happened? Is he back to himself? Who restrained him?"

Jemma pushed her glasses further up her nose.

"Doctor Banner is restored, for the time being, if that's what you're asking. Captain Marvel collected a few of the Avengers and were able to contain the Hulk in Chelsea Market. Once he returned to normal, he was taken into custody," She said simply.

"Custody? It's Doom they should be arresting!"

She shrugged.

"I wasn't there. I'm sorry you were. I did, however, see the aftermath." Her voice turned cold as she pulled out a tablet from her lab coat pocket. With the flick of her fingers she pulled up a projection into thin air, a news report with scenes of a burning city.

He hadn't stopped. He'd jumped out of Hill's window and wreaked havoc on everything within the mile. I watched him climb up buildings and tear up streets, with seemingly no motivation. It was footage I had seen before, the last time the Hulk made national news. Only, back then, I didn't know the man behind the terror.

When death counts started scrolling across the images, I turned away.

"Shut it off." Jemma obliged. "I need to go to him. He's here, isn't he? In headquarters?"

"I think it'd be best to wait until someone retrieves you," She tried to stall me, halfheartedly. "You can return to the mansion, or…" Deep down she knew she wouldn't keep me from him. I walked swiftly by her and out the door.

I knew where they would've brought him. Just by pure fortune and a semi-accurate memory, I knew how to get there. On one of my first tours of the building I'd been shown the prison made especially for him, though no one had ever explicitly labeled it as such. " _This is a holding facility designed by Stark and Richards to temporarily house weapon-resistant beings,_ " I remembered Hank telling me. _"The glass is shock-absorbent, so any creature in there will wear themselves out pretty quickly if they're trying to escape. Any luck, you'll never have to face anyone that belongs in here."_

The surrounding halls were armed and guarded. I was grateful the agents on duty were all SHIELD, and Doom's protégé were nowhere to be found. I realized at once that the guards were there for Bruce's protection, not for anyone else's. If an angry mob knew where he was being stashed…

I was, however, surprised that Director Hill was on the scene in person. I'd expected her to be far removed, handling press and clean-up. But she stood at the front of the party, speaking urgently to one of the agents as I rounded the corner. She didn't seem surprised to see me either, just annoyed. I was surely the last person she wanted to, or even had to deal with at that moment. She spotted me right away, but allowed me to approach her first, as if I was a fly she was preparing to swat away.

"You're not authorized to be in this wing," She stepped in front of me and spoke in a low voice, not wanting to draw the attention of the chatting agents.

"I've got a SHIELD key card that says otherwise," I replied. "Let me see him."

"I think that would be unwise," Hill furrowed her brows. I bit so hard on my lip I thought it might bleed.

"Tell me what happens now," I uttered, a submissive demand. She sighed and looked around as though a reason to stop talking to me might appear out of thin air.

"The U.S. Government is pulling no punches. It seems this was the final straw. Banner is a prisoner for crimes against humanity, and he has few options at this point. He can stand trial, which will likely only lead to a life sentence under SHIELD jurisdiction. It looks like it's the negative zone, or…"

"Or what?" I prodded.

"Exile."

I felt my shoulders ease. Maybe that wouldn't be so bad. We could leave together, start a new life far away across the globe. But Hill's expression darkened my fantasy before it had even begun.

"Doom has made a generous offer, despite the way tonight's events transpired," She continued, slowly. "Banner would be removed to Latveria, where Doom would even grant him citizenship in time."

"And you don't think that was his plan all along?"

Her narrowed eyes told me she agreed but disapproved of my presumption.

"You would remain here," were her simple words to shut me down. My heart skipped a beat.

"What do you mean?" I asked. "I go where he goes."

"You're already forgetting this transfer is punishment, not a paid vacation," Hill snapped.

"Doom wanted _me_ , too!"

"And I want you here."

I swallowed, unsure of how to respond. Was she doing me a favor by ensuring I remained under SHIELD's protection? It was now abundantly clear she didn't trust Doom in the slightest, but she must have been able to strike a deal with him. Somehow, an allegiance had been formed under our noses. The Hulk would be out of their hair, and in Doom's doting and violent hands. Both sides won some and lost some, but I…I would lose everything.

When she didn't say any more, I tensed my jaw and stared her down.

"Let me see him," I said, venom seeping into my tone. This time, she didn't argue. She turned on her heel and walked down the hall. I followed close behind, weaving through the guards. Into a small room lined with cameras we stepped, and I saw him up on the screen, cowering on a chair and looking like a scared child.

Hill punched in a code to another locked door, and held it open for me. She sent ice dagger stares at me as I filed past her and into the tiny enclosure that held a man that looked as far from a monster as anything could.

Bruce could barely lift his head as I stepped in, the door slamming shut behind me. When he saw it was me, he buried his face right back in his hands. Though I had just seen him hours prior, he looked like he hadn't slept in days, his eyes bloodshot and face worn.

"You shouldn't have come," He whispered, almost inaudible.

"So I keep being told," I said. I cautiously walked forward, approaching him like he was a timid cat. He didn't move, so I stepped close enough to put one hand on his matted curls. "Bruce."

All of a sudden, he grabbed both sides of my waist and pulled me in, pressing his forehead against my stomach. I knew he was proving to himself that I was alive. That I was real. That the slight curve along my abdomen representing his child was still there.

"I could have killed you," He choked out. "I would've done. Easily."

"I'm okay, Bruce," I felt tears sting my eyes. "We're okay." I knelt in front of him, trying to look into the eyes he was hiding.

"I thought I was doing better," He was murmuring. "I thought I could handle this. Why did I come back?"

"You couldn't have prepared for this," I grasped his hands tightly. "If anything, it was my fault for getting involved." If I hadn't been so stupidly righteous and tried to blast Doom's ray off its course… "And Doom's fault for bringing a gun fight where it didn't belong."

I took his silence to mean he thought my reply was stupid. Childish. He still wouldn't look at me. He was sick of me trying to absolve him.

"Listen," I tried again. "They're going to banish you if you don't stand trial. I think that if we can prove it was Doom's plan all along to draw out the Hulk, you may have a sound argument—"

"I've already accepted Doom's bargain."

"You—what?" I let go of his hands and stood up. He finally sighed and lifted his head from his solemnity.

"It's for the best, Maggie," Bruce said in his pleading, apologetic voice. "It was too soon for me to come back, and foolish to think I was even ready. If I can be in a place where I can do some good…work in a lab like Doom has offered, and expand and control the Primagen technology? I think that would be more than a fair repentance."

"You don't need to repent. You were shot in the back."

"Did you see the fatalities from tonight?"

"It was an accident!" I almost shouted.

His sympathetic look made me want to hit him. I was overwhelmed in that moment by a memory of me defending my own brutal actions in that same way. It had been an accident when I sent those kids to the hospital at that protest, all those liftetimes ago. An accident that I caused. _Someone's always to blame…_ Was it Jamie who had told me that? I turned from him, knowing the last thing he needed was to see my tears.

"He said himself he wanted you for his army," I reminded him, when I was able to compose myself.

"So does everyone," Bruce scoffed. "But he's already agreed to my terms. After what he saw tonight, I think it was enough carnage for one political leader. He's happy with the scientist."

"For now," I muttered.

"For now."

I felt anger rise within me from nowhere as I rounded on him.

"So, that's it. You're abandoning me."

It was clear the thought hadn't occurred to him.

"It's not—" He faltered. "You'll be safe here."

"Don't give me that. 'Safe' doesn't exist. I might as well be with you," I protested. I tried to reach for his hands again, but this time he was the one who pulled away.

"What choice do you think we have, Maggie?" He asked, exasperated. "There's no option 'C', where you and I run off together and raise a family in peace. That's not how this goes. "

"Why not? Let's fucking leave!"

"God—" He sucked in a breath, and I immediately felt guilty for raising my voice. "Sometimes," Bruce shook his head. "You are blindly selfish."

He was right, but I didn't hide the hurt that passed over my face.

"I don't want to do this by myself," I admitted. "I don't want to have our baby alone, in a place filled with people I don't trust. With people who want it destroyed, or weaponized."

"And you trust me to protect you? After what happened not hours ago?" He reached up to brush the bruise on my head. I took his hand and pressed my lips into his palm.

"I don't need protection. I just need someone on my side."

"You don't want me for your team. Believe me," Bruce said solemnly. He ran a hand through his hair. "We don't have a lot of time. Dr. Simmons…I misjudged her. She will take good care of you. Do what she says, and without question. For your sake, and the baby's. Don't leave Avenger's Mansion. And keep your friends close," He rattled off as much advice as he could think of, then sighed. "You'll be so much better off when I'm gone. You'll see. I promise."

The sound of the door clanking open once more made me jump. A voice that wasn't Hill's shouted gruffly from the entry way. "Time's up," but I didn't turn away from Bruce. He wasn't fooling me, and the mist in his own eyes gave him away entirely. Still, nothing more could be said.

"Maggie," He said calmly as the agent clomped towards me from behind. "You'll be fine. I'll be fine."

"No," I almost whimpered. "No, please. Bruce."

"I'm so sorry," He managed to say as he watched me being numbly led from his prison. "I'm sorry."

I didn't want his departing image of me to be my sobbing form, so I held it together as I backed through the door, practically being pulled by the agent. Hill was waiting for me in the control room, watching Bruce bury his face in his hands on the screen.

"He was already on edge," She said to me before I could open my mouth. "This evening. It didn't help that he was in emotional distress before he even came into the meeting. Because of you, of course."

I stared at her, tight lipped. She wouldn't see me cry, either. Not then, not ever.

"Times have certainly changed," She went on. "Ten years ago, he might have been exonerated. The families of the people he murdered living without justice." Hill spoke in almost a monotone, I knew to hide any real feelings she might've been experiencing. "I respected Fury, but he treated supers like gods above reproach. He thought they didn't need to take responsibility for the lives lost on their account, because it was all for the greater good. It's the one thing we disagreed on."

She finally turned to me, as though just realizing I was there. I wanted to scream at her, but couldn't find the breath. Or the right argument. Because, deep down, I knew she was right. Clarity hurts like a bitch, but I saw suddenly that there was no justification for what had happened, other than the wrong person got pissed off. A person with access to a deadly weapon. Bruce had been right, too. He alone was responsible for becoming the Hulk, intentions be damned. It _was_ his fault. And that wasn't fair. He didn't mean for it to be.

Hill walked towards the door to the hallway, expecting me to follow.

"We'll be in touch, Addams. For now, it's best you lay low."

And, because I had no better options, I did as I was told. I returned to the mansion that night, missing my apartment with Sonia more than ever before. It was far from home, my lonely grey room at the end of a hallway no one ever went down, or probably even knew existed.

As petty as it was, I hurt like I'd been dumped. Bruce didn't try to fight the injustice, he didn't even want to. I wondered if he was grateful for the chance to return to anonymity, to leave the city, the heroes. To leave me.

And as I lay on my bed and folded my hands over my stomach, I felt insanely insignificant. Lonely was not an unfamiliar friend, but I'd never been humbled enough to grasp how little I mattered in a world where others had been across the universe and back. A world with gods and good and evil, and I fit plainly into a nothing category. It would have been freeing, if I didn't have another life to worry about. A life that _did_ matter. To me, at least.

I heard the television at full blast all of a sudden in my wing's rec room. He would have had to put the volume all the way up for me to hear through the thick walls. He was trying to provoke me. I decided not to disappoint.

I stormed out of my room and back down the hall to find the trickster with his feet up on the coffee table, the footage from the evening's events plastered on the plasma screen. I didn't even give him time to smile knowingly before knocking him off his seat with one large blast erupting from one hand. What had he been planning? An elaborate "I told you so"? Or perhaps he was merely curious about what I would do.

Loki stumbled to his feet, raising both hands in surrender, but I wasn't about to let him off. Another force sent him backwards into the wall. Again, he stood right back up.

"Maggie," He managed to get out. I couldn't hear my name said in that tone, the same way Bruce said it as though I was flying off the handle. Like a code to get me to calm down.

"Don't!" I screamed, sending a field of energy backwards at the television just as the Hulk's fist moved towards the camera. The screen shattered and the whole thing fell off the wall.

Even weaponless, though, Loki wasn't helpless. As I came at him again, he crossed his wrists in front of him to form a shield that somehow stood a chance against my force fields. I dodged the ricochet and aimed again, this time honing in on his sparkling energy and getting ready to collapse it at any given moment. But he did something I wasn't expecting. He grabbed my arms even as I struggled, and the second he did, my angry grunts turned to sobs.

I couldn't fight him off anymore because he was trying so gently to keep me still. I crumpled to the floor in front of him, and he fell alongside me.

"I'm sorry," I heard him murmur through the spinning of the world. He meant it. He gripped my wrists, out of kindness or fear that I would let loose once more I couldn't be sure. It didn't matter. I wasn't alone. I closed my eyes and let the god of mischief comfort me.


	28. Reckless

It was entirely against my good sense and morality that Loki and I became somewhat inseparable after that night. It had been Bruce who instructed me to keep friends close, and as I didn't have any friends at the mansion, my options were slim. I didn't leave the compound for the first few days, enjoying wallowing in self-pity and allowing only Loki to keep me company as I wandered the grey halls and watched every movie on Netflix. I was not about to let depression get the better of me, but I regarded the days I spent doing nothing as punishment. If I was to be a prisoner, I was resigned to acting the part.

No one had come to check on me, yet, and I wondered if the rest of SHIELD was simply disinterested or unsure what to do with me. When Avengers did pass through the mansion, Loki and I stayed out of sight, like ghosts in the walls. If I ran into any of them, the most I would receive was a curt pleasantry and an excuse to leave the room. None of them knew who I was, still. None except Colonel Rhodes, with whom I hadn't crossed paths. I was grateful I hadn't seen Wanda since the gala. I'd heard she resided somewhere in London. I was almost completely anonymous. No one was talking about what had happened with Bruce, and I found that to be the most frustrating part of living there. Some friends the Avengers were. The only time I heard his name was when I'd overheard a conversation between Ant-Man and Captain America in the stairwell outside the kitchen.

"Man, can't you just drop it?" Sam Wilson was saying.

"It's _weird!_ " Lang replied between sandwich bites. "The guy's a hero. He doesn't even get a trial?"

"Not sure a trial would've done him much good."

"But what's gonna happen to him? I mean, _one_ slip up and—"

"And his career is ruined?" Wilson cut in. "Is that what you were going to say, new guy? Accountability is part of being a hero."

"No, no, I just meant…It just kind of sucks. For him. And us."

"Yeah, well…"

The lack of sympathy made me want to put my fist through the wall. They would never understand, though. They had it easy, with their glorious powers that posed no threat to anyone who didn't have a beating coming. They would never understand how lucky they were.

I was much happier spending my time with someone who felt the same way about the golden gang.

"Does your brother ever come to visit you?" I asked Loki once, over a shared bag of pretzels. Even when I didn't speak his name, the mention of Thor instilled a crunched forehead and pursed lips.

"He comes to drink the free beer, receive missions, and converse with his peers, but he would never arrive with the sole purpose of seeing _me_ ," he scoffed. "He's been off world for months now, doing who-knows-what."

"Searching for lost Asgardians?"

He quieted. I knew he didn't like to talk or think about the shambles of his home world, but my curiosity and desire to see him in a compassionate light won over my manners.

"The population in Norway is doing well, so I hear. However, as far as I'm aware, they are all that remain of Asgard. And meanwhile, I'm here, helpless, and far from home."

"Why _do_ you think they keep you here?" I asked. He looked at me like I was stupid.

"On Midg— _Earth—_ I will always be a criminal. Your reigning forces seem to want to keep me where I am of use to them. In the reserves, so to speak, if they ever need a God's touch and mighty Thor isn't around to provide." He always had a small prideful smile when he was doting on his power.

"And they don't think you'd be better off with your own people?"

His smile faltered to a tight line.

"I very much doubt I'd be welcome."

That didn't surprise me, much to my civil embarrassment, but I tried to put on a sympathetic face.

"You helped get them to safety." He'd told me the story of Ragnarok in far more detail than Bruce ever had.

"On the contrary," Loki kept looking at the blank TV screen to avoid my eyes. "I was their downfall." That was part I had not heard. Instead of persisting, I merely raised my eyebrows and expected him to explain. He sighed like I'd forced him into it.

"When we were escaping Asgard," He said slowly. "I happened to be in possession of an artifact that attracted Thanos to our ship."

"Ah. So it's _your_ fault we all blipped."

He looked so hurt that I had to swallow my cruelty and carefully touch him on the shoulder.

"I'm teasing," I said quietly. It didn't appease him.

"It was cowardly. I pretended to stand up to him. Pretended to die, all the while watching my people _truly_ die as I hid. I hid until the dust settled and there were nothing but bodies left. And Thor won't even let me attempt to make up for it all, keeping me locked up here."

"If you were free, what would you do?" I asked seriously. "How would you make up for any of that?"

He was silent for a long time, pulling apart split ends from his wavy black locks.

"I don't know," he said finally. "I only know if I hadn't—"

"Can we spare ourselves another 'if only'? dialogue?" I cut him off gently.

It was a conversation we had nearly daily. As two souls practically drowning in guilt, our talks often turned to a competition of who had done the worst thing as of late. _If only I hadn't agreed to bring Bruce back from Havana._ Then, in turn, it became the well-rehearsed role of the other to assuage. It rarely worked. Loki was not very good at convincing me I was blameless—mostly he just reminded me how insignificant my problems were—and I was not very good at downplaying the atrocities he had committed. Somehow, we managed to make one another feel better in the end. It was grueling work, but it was all we had.

Loki sniffed.

"How's this one? If only I'd been shown half of the respect Thor was all his life."

"Still not over that, huh?"

"It comes and goes."

I munched on a chip, as it felt safe to eat again. "Your powers are different. Why is that?"

"Simple," Loki shrugged. "I was born a sorcerer. Thor was born a warrior."

"It seems like you can do far more than he can." That made the corners of his mouth twitch into an unsettling smile.

"Magic made me all the more unlikable. It wasn't common."

I sat up and shifted to face him.

"So, you're saying Asgard had mutants? Am I kind of like a sorceress of Earth?" He rolled his eyes.

"Sorcery was not a _mutation_ , it was just something either bestowed upon you or not. Besides, magic isn't sustainable on this planet. The air practically suffocates it."

I wrinkled my nose and started picking at a button in the couch. I felt like a little kid, the way all my questions kept bubbling to the surface. But he was patient with me, and answered each one fully. I wondered if he was merely bored and I provided a much needed distraction from his life sentence.

"Then why can you do magic here? You nearly destroyed the Avengers single handedly with your _trickery_ ," I laid the word on thick, like it was a regal term He raised his eyebrows and smirked.

"If you're impressed with that, you wouldn't believe what I could accomplish on Asgard."

Something told me I wouldn't want to know. I sighed and slouched deeper into the cushions, done with the conversation for the time being. He nudged me.

"Give me the remote," Loki gestured to the black square on the coffee table. "I want to watch that one about the android again."

"We've watched Terminator three times this week, can't we try something else?" I whined.

"It's my turn to choose."

"Fine," I started to prop myself up to reach for the remote, but he held his arm over my chest to stop me.

"No," he said. "I don't want you to grab it. Lift it."

"What?" I was too tired to contemplate his riddles.

"Come, now. With your mind. You're out of practice."

I whipped my head toward him, teeth practically bared.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"The other night, when you fought me, I noticed. You're losing your grip on your power, and getting weaker. Control is something that must be rehearsed to be retained," He was looking at the TV, speaking in a bored voice even though I could tell it pleased him to speak as though he was my master. "Go on."

I wanted to shout and fight him all over again, but something kept me sedated. _Was it weak to lose control?_ He of all people would know. I hadn't meant to go off in Hill's office in front of Doom, after all. The only times I'd used my power in recent memory were out of pure emotion. I didn't want to be patronized, so I told myself I was doing it for me as I focused my energy on the remote.

A small bubble of veiny electricity encircled it, and I hovered it through the air until it plopped into Loki's lap. Without any indication of appreciation, approval, or appraisal, he flipped on the television and started the film.

"You're obsessed with TV," I was relieved to change the subject.

"I'm a fan of the theatre," he said solemnly. "But I admit, we didn't have anything like this system. I'm morbidly curious and successfully entertained. You should be pleased I admire anything about this planet."

"We had to do a lot of engineering to catch up to you guys."

"You're nowhere _near_ caught up."

Those were our days, for a brief moment in time. I was taking a break from reality with a God in an empty mansion, and in my opinion there was no better cure for heartbreak and terror. Thinking about Bruce even became easier in quick time, thanks to Loki only encouraging my anger at him. He had willingly left me to fend for myself. While my heart was in pain, my stubborn mind continued to burn at the memory of his weak, tired look in the cell. I was on my own. Wasn't that what I'd wanted, anyway?

I knew it wouldn't last, though. And I was always right.

It took Hank a full week and a half following the incident to come and see me. He didn't even provide an excuse for not contacting me sooner, which I took to mean he had been afraid of what he would find. So when I served him tea on the courtyard patio, he seemed almost relieved at my high spirits. His whiskers were wan and his glasses couldn't hide the glazed over look in his eyes, so I knew he'd been working. I didn't ask what he'd been doing, or where he'd been. I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of thinking I'd missed him, or that I was jealous he couldn't take me along.

"Are you sleeping well?" Hank asked me when we'd both sat down, which was going to be my first question for him.

"I—yeah. Fine," I said.

"You have dark circles."

"Sorry, I didn't feel the need to put on makeup for you. It's hasn't been such a great week."

He paused and shook some sugar into his mug.

"I wanted to come sooner. You know I did. When I heard—"

"You texted me. I wasn't hurt."

"You must understand," He swallowed. "I didn't want to put any spotlight on you. If my first instinct was to rush to you, it would draw too much attention. The nature of your relationship was not public knowledge, nor should it be."

"Hank," I said sternly. "It's _fine_."

"Is it?" He shook his head. "You've been alone."

"I've had his majesty to keep me company."

Hank practically bared his teeth.

"Hill's been selling you as some 'live-in' nanny for the monster. He's not your responsibility, you know that, don't you?"

"I don't mind. I've got nothing better to do."

He cleared his throat.

"Yes, well, that's actually what I've come to talk to you about. As you know, we're only a week out from the fundraiser for the new X-Corps in Princeton."

Shit. I had forgotten. I had actually somehow managed to forget about something that had once been the most important thing in my life. They had postponed it, I'd vaguely registered, and I was sure it had been for my sake.

"Of course," I jumped into professional mode. "Everything's lined up at the Baxter Building, as far as I'm aware. Why, did something change?" If it had, I wouldn't have noticed. Emails had all been a fog.

"No, it's shaping up to be a great event," Hank said calmly, sensing my tension. "I just wanted to see if—to make sure—you were still up for attending."

I don't know why my blood began to simmer. Maybe it was his patronizing look of concern. Maybe I'd been spending too much time with the most arrogant man in the universe.

"Up for attending?" I repeated, poised for an argument. "Hank, this project is my _baby_." It was a poor choice of words. I saw him fight not to look down at my stomach, which, thankfully, still looked flat under my baggy sweatshirt. "You can't keep me away." To lighten things, I added, "Unless this has something to do with my poor public speaking skills, in which case I'm all for advice." He cracked a smile, against his will.

"I'm sure you'll do great. I wish I could be there, but you and the team seem to have it under control." He paused again, and I was sure he was waiting for me to ask him where he would be instead of at the gala. When I didn't, he sighed and turned from boss to friend once more. "I didn't hear much about Banner. They kept his exile under tight wraps, and gave the press just enough to air that justice was served."

"I haven't been keeping up with the news," I said.

"Probably for the best," Hank agreed. "But have you been keeping up with your health? I left Dr. Simmons a few messages, but…"

"You're my emergency contact, I don't think that authorizes you to review every medical visit I undergo." I tried to keep the salt out of my voice.

"I know," He said, almost defensively. "I'm just…I worry about you."

I wanted so badly to believe him. Even in my jaded heart, Hank was always someone I could rely on. But this time, he hadn't been there for me. And he wasn't there for me now. I didn't blame him for that.

"I'm not your responsibility," I almost mimicked his voice. "You know that, don't you?"

He opened his mouth to protest, but no words came out. Instead, he closed it. And he nodded.

"I have an assignment for you. When you're ready." He stood up from the table, clearly disappointed with the way the conversation had gone.

"I'm ready now," I said, sounding like a stubborn child.

"No, you're not," Hank replied. "Call me when the fundraiser is over."

He put his hat back on, a fedora that rested neatly between his blue ears, and left me in the sunlit courtyard that reminded me so heavily of Xavier's Mansion. I bit back tears until my lips bled.

That night over takeout I listened to Loki agonize over yet another party he wasn't invited to.

"They let you bring me along when you attended that festival, why should this be any different?" Loki was pouting, and it was almost endearing.

"You must be really bored if you want to go to some stuffy dinner at the Baxter Building."

"Unequivocally," He said, fighting with his chopsticks that he'd never used before but claimed he'd get the hang of. "So, you'll ask the commander?"

"What makes you think I want to be chained to you all night?"

Loki tilted his head with a cocky grin.

"Aren't you already?"

"At least here I can go to the bathroom without worrying you'll blow up the planet," I snorted. "You know I'd have to have a really good reason for taking you out."

"I'm sure you can come up with something. You're a fairly good liar."

"You're better." Though it was hardly a compliment, something flickered in his eyes when I said so, and something skipped in my chest. It was a brief, unrecognizable moment that I let slip under the table as quickly as a lone noodle had from my plate.

"You'll tell her you want protection," Loki said, his voice suddenly silky.

"I don't warrant protection."

"I disagree. Though she's been out of touch, I doubt it means she's taking you any less seriously. If there's a chance something could happen to the precious little warrior you're growing, she won't take it. All you have to do is ask."

"And you're asking me to waste a favor from the director of SHIELD on _you_?"

"Practically begging, if it comes down to it." After the many times of slipping into a dog's form, he'd mastered the puppy look.

I could say 'no'. I wanted to see him plead with me more. But then, I'd have to face that night alone, and I wanted that even less. I smiled and kicked his shin under the table.

"Only if you help me pick out what to wear."

It felt wrong that he had saved me the instant Bruce forsook me. It was like I'd stepped out of the light and instantly into the shadows. But there were parts of me that Loki understood that no one else had even attempted to break apart before. With each passing day, he became the only grounding factor that tethered me to a confused world. I began to hate, instead of mourn. That felt like the power I'd been missing all this time. There was no point in feeling sad or misused when I could easily transmute those emotions into strength. The world could throw as many curveballs at me as it wanted, because with my hardened heart, I'd be one step ahead.

And then my thoughts would stray to the baby. Not Bruce's, not SHIELD's, not anyone's yet. Not even mine. And for those moments, I would merely pray that they would not inherit my flippant regards to right and wrong. I could want that for an unborn child, but I didn't have to adhere to my own wisdom. I was enjoying being reckless.

The one night I'd ever seen fear cross Loki's eyes, fear for someone other than himself, was the night I knew I'd crossed a line.

It was nearing midnight, and I had retired to my room hours prior, following an annoying argument about whether Greek mythology had better stories than Norse. We'd been doing a lot of reading. I'd been hungry at weird hours since the beginning of the pregnancy, and honestly since the beginning of my life, so I was up with a hollow pit in my stomach.

I had raided the fridge in one of the smaller kitchenettes down the hall, but before I could even open the bread bag, I was magnetically pulled to the sink. I gripped the cold metal and barreled over the edge, slick vomit streaming down the drain. In the moonlight, the liquid looked black. I choked out more blood, then managed to gasp for air, holding myself up by the tips of my fingers. I wiped my mouth as I heard his voice from behind me.

"Now, this is a scene I've stumbled into before."

I didn't turn around to face Loki. I hated that he had seen me at my worst more than once. When I said nothing, he had to fill the silence.

"Though, I seem to recall there being less gore," He said, stepping closer to me and surveying the crimson covering the sink. "Remind me. Humans are not supposed to bleed internally, correct?"

"Please. Go away," I spat in a drained whisper.

"Shall I call for the healer?"

"I said, _go away!_ " I used every bit of strength I had left to scream at him, and when I turned around I instantly collapsed. He just barely caught me. That was when I saw it. For a split second, our eyes met, and I could tell he thought I was a goner.

"How long has this been going on?" Loki asked me next. He was quicker than I realized.

"Just a few days," I mumbled, struggling to keep my eyes open. "A week, at most. It was never this much blood, promise."

"You said this stopped ages ago. You told your doctor so."

"Well, someone did tell me I was fairly good at lying," it was hard to be wry, but I had to somehow make him believe I was okay. He didn't smile.

"You've even managed to keep this from me. Why?"

A shrug did not satisfy him. He settled me against the counter and stood up.

"Alright," he said, beginning to back away. "I'm going to go get someone."

"No!" I couldn't quite stand yet, but I reached for him. "Loki, please—"

"Are you mad?" Loki looked at me like he's already answered that question.

"I'm fine, really," I was almost hyperventilating. "I'm fine. Just come sit with me for sec, yeah?"

He unwittingly obliged, slumping to the floor at a ninety degree angle from me. Close enough to keep me comforted, but far enough to keep an eye on me. After a moment of me catching my breath, his staring began to irk me.

"What?" I asked, as if it was another conversation over a board game.

"I don't think Bruce would ever forgive himself if you died," He said flatly.

"Add that to the list of things he won't forgive himself for."

"And this is your way of getting back at him? Letting yourself teeter on the edge of death?"

I flared up, sitting on my knees.

"You think I'm playing with my baby's life out of _pettiness_?" I fought hard with tears.

"I can't think of a better reason."

I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the counter.

"I'm tired. And scared."

"If I'm following," Loki said slowly. "You've given up."

I almost argued, but he had me pinned. His eyes weren't pitying, which was a kindness, but they were scrutinizing.

"Is it still 'giving up' if there's nothing left?" I pondered in a lighter tone.

"Don't be so dramatic," He almost grinned but rolled his eyes instead. "You're being pathetic. Weak. Cowardly."

"Stupid?" I added. "Look, I really didn't mean for it to get this bad. I'll call Jemma in the morning."

"Now."

I looked up at him. He was almost sinister in his command. I knew he would have noticed sooner that my health was rapidly declining if I hadn't been taking extra precautions to hide it. Putting makeup around my sunken eyes. Covering any vomit breath with mints. And lying my ass off. I was almost doing it all subconsciously, allowing myself to decay because I didn't _want_ to take care of myself. I hadn't wanted to see Jemma since the night she'd healed my wounds from Hulk's attack. I had ignored emails and calls from my medical team because I feared what they would do to me now that Bruce was gone. I didn't trust anyone, and I suffered the consequences. My depression was going Medea on my ass, thinking that if my baby and I were slated to die, it was best to just let it happen. Had I even considered that we'd be better off? Maybe.

Loki was right. I probably did have a death wish, or at least some part of me did. That was…spineless. After everything I'd been through, to give up so quickly was the epitome of lazy. In that moment of clarity, I decided to drop the vulnerable act. It was a minor setback. I would never risk my kid again.

And I never wanted Loki to look at me like that again.

Before I knew it, though, I was sobbing on the kitchen floor, burying my face in my hands to try and stop the flow. I felt as Loki reached one hand to press against my knee, and I automatically fell into him. He seemed surprised, but he held onto me regardless.

"I'm s-sorry," I whispered.

"Why apologize to me?"

"I just feel like I owe you one."

He got his hands tangled in my hair and used it as an excuse to run his hand through.

"You don't," He said quietly. We sat like that for far too long before I finally sought medical help.


End file.
